


One and Only

by Angelnatia61



Category: Real Person Fiction, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Anal Sex, Car Sex, Drunk Sex, Explicit Language, F/M, Kitchen Sex, Making Love, Oral Sex, Phone Sex, Rough Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Sex Toys, Shower Sex, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:27:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 31
Words: 161,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26827339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelnatia61/pseuds/Angelnatia61
Summary: Tom and Desai meet at a pub on his father's birthday. They fall in love, but could a person from Desai's past ruin everything?
Relationships: Engaged - Relationship, Friends - Relationship, Marriage - Relationship
Comments: 61
Kudos: 35





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story contains violence, sex, and adult situations. I consider it to be an 18+ but know that there are situations that will, for some, cause triggers. If anything you read makes you feel uncomfortable then please stop reading.

**One and Only**

**January 2017**

He felt bad for the lady. Tom knew in his heart that she was doing everything possible to not only defuse the situation but to keep from crying. He could hear it in her voice; see it in her expression. And the man, he supposed, her husband was not allowing her to do either.

“Do you think that losing weight is going to fix you?!” he drunkenly screamed at the woman with such force that it blew her hair. 

“Woman you are crazy! I mean you’re like a box of chocolates – you never know what you’re going to get!”  


“Andrew, please,” she pleaded quietly knowing that yet another lunch would be ruined by his temper. 

  
“Andrew, please," he mockingly sneered. "No other man will want you. I mean have you looked at yourself. You don’t take care of yourself. You wear baggy clothes –”  


“I’ve lost some weight. My clothes don’t fit like they used to.”  


“Then buy you some goddamn clothes that will! Are you trying to find another man,” Andrew hissed into her face as he grabbed her neck then noticed Tom and pointed at him. “There’s your man! He’s the one you’re so fucking hot for!” He released her neck as he paused grabbing her by the arms lifting her into a standing position, shaking her hard enough to give her a headache. 

  
Desai was saved from any more embarrassment by her husband as police officers removed Andrew Alexander from the restaurant. She looked at the gentleman her husband had pointed to and moved over to where he was sitting. “Mr. Hiddleston I am so sorry. My husband is …”

  
“A bastard,” he said as he stood and took her hand in his as he lightly kissed her knuckles. Her eyes were like emeralds with gold flecks and her voice was soft and gentle with a soft Southern drawl. He glanced at her lips, they looked full and soft and oh so kissable. “No one deserves the treatment he gave you. You are a true lady and I wish you the very best of life. Please, do not continue to allow him to steal your light. You were meant to shine.”

  
“Ma’am,” the police officer got her attention. “You’ll need to come with us.”

She nodded at the officer. “It was nice to meet you, Mr. Hiddleston.”

“Please, it’s just plain old Tom.”

She smiled as she turned and murmured, “There’s nothing plain about you.”

“Or you either, love.”

He smiled as she went crimson at the remark.

**Three Weeks Later**  


Andrew, Desai, and James McCarley, Desai's half-brother, were trying out a new pickup and it was Desai’s turn to drive. She sat waiting at a red light and when the green arrow popped on, she turned left – or was about to. From the corner of her right eye, she saw movement and knew it was too late to get out of the way. She floored the gas pedal, felt the impact just as she was turning she, about to say, ‘I love you’ to her brother then everything went black. 

  
**Chapter One**  
**2021 -- London**

Desai pulled into a parking spot right in front of Charlie’s Pub and grabbed the big box of hobnobs that she had made for Charlie and the rest of his crew.

  
Tom heard the car before he looked, he knew it was a Jaguar. The lady exiting the vehicle held a huge box in her arms as she entered the pub. “Oh, Charlie! It always smells so good in here!”

  
“Come here you!” Charlie boomed as he took the box from her hugging her with one arm as he tucked the box easily under his other arm. “You didn’t!”

“Oh, yes I did! That box is crammed chock full of homemade hobnobs!” 

Tom turned at the mention of one of his favorite sweets, grinned at their banter, it was rare that he met anyone who he could talk to easily, without judgment or malice anymore. Or being in awe of his celebrity status. He was just a man and wished people would treat him that way.

  
“I have for you the best seat in the house, love.”

“Thank you, Charlie.” She playfully poked him in the chest, “You had better share those,” she said as she sat down. Desai noticed Tom right off, who wouldn’t? He wasn’t an angel, or a Disney prince, or a Hollywood square-jawed muscle-machine, not a perfect human being. Just a man with a kind smile, an enormous heart for giving and talent beyond his years, a wicked sense of humor to boot, and a pair of restless eyebrows with a life of their own. 

His hair was longish and Desai was guessing, black or almost. She remembered reading somewhere that he was filming a _Loki_ series. She loved Loki and had for a very long time, the one from Norse Mythology, growing up she had adored comic books. However, there was no mistaking the _Marvel Loki_ so she gave him a smile as she settled into her seat. He smiled back then a look of 'Oh no I’ve been found' crossed his face as he noticed the phone in her hand. That look made her almost wish she had not smiled. Everyone including celebrities needed their space and she would not invade his. She was also bound and determined she wouldn’t look his way unless she had to. 

  
Seeing the phone in her hand Tom was relieved when she lay it down on the table in front of her. He couldn’t help but notice her beauty; a heart-shaped face framed by long light brown curly hair and even in the dim light he could tell she had beautiful eyes. Her ensemble was like that of a by-gone era; lacy, almost Victorian in style, very romantic and lady-like. It suited her and he liked it. 

  
Desai was ordering a drink from a waiter she was familiar with, “Jack” she said, “how’s your mother?”

“She’s not been well Desai the doctors say it’s just a matter of time. She's almost -- she doesn't remember most of us now.”   


“I’m so very sorry Jack. Is she at home? Would it be okay if I visited her? Is there anything I can do?” 

Jack took a seat and began answering her questions extrapolating about his mother. 

“Listen,” she began. “I don’t want you or your family to worry about anything. I’ll take care of it.” 

Jack began to shake his head. “No!”

Tom looked over at the woman and man when he raised his voice, he relaxed when he realized they were just deep in a serious conversation. He was all ears now as he eavesdropped unabashedly as she comforted the man who was clearly her friend.

  
She lay a hand on his shoulder, “You listen to me, Jack. I know and understand firsthand how hard it is for caregivers. And I know dementia and Alzheimer’s intimately. It’s not what killed my brother, but it would have had he lived long enough.”

She was surprised when Jack enveloped her in his arms standing her up, “There are so few who really understand how it feels to lose someone a bit at a time, Desai. How did you deal with it? How do you deal with it?”

  
She pulled back so that she was able to look in his eyes. “I just take it one day at a time and sometimes one minute at a time even one heartbeat at a time. Jack, I have the belief that I will see them all again. I have to believe that or else I’ll go crazy. I want you to please try and believe it too. Death is not the end it’s just a new beginning. Our energy doesn’t die with our bodies. It goes somewhere, but where I do not know.”

Tom listened as the woman, whose name was Desai, as beautiful as the woman herself picked up her phone when she sat back down and began talking to someone she apparently knew very well. He smiled as she said, “I want a specialized nurse and I want it done ASAP. Tonight would be great but I understand if it will have to wait until Monday.” He was still listening as she gave the address and explained the situation. He admired Desai, whatever her last name was, she was both kind and generous. Two qualities he looked for but so far had not found, at least not in a long time.

  
She spoke in an accent that he recognized as being from the Southern United States. It was soft. Gentle. Kind. He also observed when she glanced away her eyes were filled with a sadness that only those who had lost someone close could or would understand.   
Tom allowed his gaze to fall upon her face; the way it tilted... _he imagined her doing that as he bent his head slightly to kiss her. Her long hair tangled in his fingers as he drew her closer. He imagined how soft it would feel as the curls rolled around his fingers and arm._ When she turned back, he noticed her eyes were filled with unshed tears as they glistened making her appear vulnerable and oh so kissable. 

“What are you looking at?” a very sharp female tone asked from his left. 

  
“I was just looking around, that’s not a crime last I heard, Allison,” he said quietly but with an underlying tone of caution. Allison’s tone reminded him of Lucille Sharpe’s character. How possessive she was of her brother Thomas; she was becoming like that of him. He didn’t like it. At first, he had really liked Allison -- for the first month or so. She was gorgeous and didn’t mind being photographed, in fact, she rather liked it. And good in the sack. However, he now felt as if he had been used, again, for someone’s gain, he didn’t like that. In fact, it hurt.

  
“I saw what you were looking at. Tired of me already?” she asked bitterly her voice filled with jealousy.

  
He was but it could wait for another time, he thought. The past three months seemed like years. How he got hooked up with someone so self-centered and egotistical he would never understand. No matter there was no way he was going to spoil his father’s birthday celebration by arguing and doing so in public with his family present. What he needed to say would be said in private. Gritting his teeth slightly, he leaned in towards her and said quietly, yet firmly, “Please, Allison, don’t start. Not here. Not tonight. No need for the green dragon to rear its head.” Then added, “Tonight is a celebration for my father. It is his birthday.”

No sooner did those words leave his mouth than his father started choking. 

Before anyone had the chance to react, Desai was at his side, “Sir, are you able to breathe?”

He shook his head. 

“Please stand up,” she requested calmly, “And try to relax. I know that’s easier said than done, sir.” 

Everyone at Tom's table stood, listening as Desai spoke calmly but firmly then watched as she reached around his waist placed her hands one over the other into a fist, and just as calmly stated, “This might be a little uncomfortable, but we’re gonna get you breathing again.” 

  
Using the Heimlich maneuver, she gave all her strength as she pulled swiftly upward and out popped a chunk of bread, and the man immediately inhaled. “Thank God,” she murmured as she gently patted his shoulder. 

He turned and said, “No. Thank you. You saved me!”

“I only did what anyone else would have done. I was just quicker at it. Enjoy your evening sir,” she said smiling then turning to go.

“No. Please join us. It’s my birthday and you’ve given us all a reason to really celebrate.”

Desai stood there for a second her mouth agape and wondered what to do. Rarely was she at a loss as to what to do or say. “Thank you,” she said quietly. “But birthdays are for family and friends.”

  
“And those who save fathers. Please join us,” Tom said as he grabbed an empty chair then placed it beside him. Smiling broadly, he stood behind the chair, waiting for her to sit as he said with a smile, “Please have a seat.”

  
She nodded. “Okay. Allow me to grab my purse and shawl.” As she took the proffered seat, she quietly said, “Thank you again.” It was apparent she was nervous but was trying so hard not to show it. The scent of his cologne wafted past. _Armani Pivoine Suzhou_ never smelled so good on anyone, she thought as she took a deeper breath. 

Tom smiled, she just sniffed me! Her breath fanned his cheek and neck and he fought not to touch her as he retook his seat. 

  
Desai wanted to make this a memory; who knew if she would ever get the chance again. Tom's voice broke her concentration, “How did you know what to do so quickly?”

  
She smiled up at him, “Once upon a time I was a nurse.”

  
The woman next to him asked, “Are you still a nurse?”

  
She shook her head, “No.”

  
She smiled at Desai but there was no warmth in it or her eyes, in fact, her eyes were cold. “I suppose we should all introduce ourselves. I’m Allison Monroe,” she motioned to the man beside her, “this is Tom Hiddleston, but I think you already knew that. The man you saved is James, Tom’s father. These wonderful ladies are Tom’s sisters Emma and Sarah and his mother Diana.” 

  
“I’m Desai Alexander. It’s very nice to meet all of you and I hope you have a very happy birthday sir,” she said with a smile.

  
“You’re not from around, here are you?” Allison asked with veiled self-importance her voice cutting sounding as if she mattered more than anyone because of where she was from. 

  
How Desai hated it when people automatically had the impression that those from the Southern United States were all illiterate and stupid. Oh, how she would love to put her in her place but now was not the time; or the place to do so. _How had someone who almost always had a smile on his face get mixed up with an acid bitch like her?_ she thought, _I guess you just never knew how opposites attract._ But Desai faced her and with Southern pride answered, “No, I’m from Alabama, born and raised.”

  
Tom smiled, her voice held pride and he liked that. “Anywhere near Mt. Olive?”

  
“Northwest of there,” she said with a smile as she realized her accent was thicker than usual, “I hate to admit it but when I’m nervous my accent becomes more pronounced. I haven’t lived here long enough to gain my English accent, but I’ll catch on.”

  
Tom smiled and teased, “Now why would you be nervous? And as for your accent, it is delightful.”  
She smiled, “No reason. I’m not usually nervous.”

  
He laughed and her heart did a flip flop.

  
Desai noticed Allison glaring at him and then at her. She smiled brightly at her, “I love that dress. Ms. Monroe where did you get it?”

  
“It’s Christian Dior a custom piece.” 

  
“Oh, I will have to see about getting one in purple or maybe green, those colors are so majestic.”

  
Just then, Charlie, the owner of the pub came up. “Dee, I’m sorry but I need you to do me a favor.”

  
“Charlie, I will if I can. What’s the matter?”

  
“Sally was in an accident.”

  
Desai’s mouth formed a small ‘o’, “Is she …”

  
“She’ll be fine,” he consoled quickly, “but we’re in need of a band member. Would you please?”

“Sure, Charlie.”

“You sing?” Allison asked in disbelief.

  
Charlie grinned broadly at Allison as he patted Desai on the shoulder, “Our Desai does more than sing. She could outplay Jimi Hendrix.”

“Charlie, I think you’re a tad bit biased.”

  
“You play guitar too?” Allison asked in a disbelieving tone.

“I try.”

“Try my fat arse,” Charlie stated as he gave her a fatherly hug. “This kid can play anything placed in her hands. Banjo. Guitar. Fiddle. Piano.”

“Charlie, stop,” she pleaded as her cheeks flamed crimson and she gave her apologies and rose from her seat noticing that Tom did the same.

“Break a leg,” he said with a smile. 

“You’re asking for a lot.”

“Oh, ye of so little faith,” he retorted still smiling. I wonder what she’d do if I kissed her? 

“Have a request?” Desai asked lowly as she looked into his eyes.

“Your favorite song,” he said in a deep sexy whisper.

“Your request is my command, sir. Or should I say, King?” 

She was halfway to the stage when he sat back down. Why does she feel so familiar? Her eyes … I feel as if I’ve met her, but I wouldn’t have forgotten a woman like her! Not in a million years.

Smiling Desai made her way to the stage while several of the pub’s regulars gave her smiles and ‘hey, it’s good seeing you again’.

Secretly it pleased her that they enjoyed her voice and her playing. She was once afraid to let it out but not anymore. Not since the wreck that almost killed her. She was not – and would never be the same anymore. 

She took a little time to step backstage and adjust her clothes. The skirt was a mixture of lavender lace and ecru gauzy material in a high-low fashion with a split. She moved the split so that it draped over her right thigh making it easier for her to have a bit more movement. She tended to get animated when she was playing. Her blouse was a very light shade of lavender almost white. The color made her eyes look greener. She also made sure that the boots which looked as if they had come from the late 1800s were tied tightly; she did not want to trip over the laces. Again.

“Hey, guys.” The four other members looked at her. “Let’s do something different. I’d like to start off with the _Ronnettes_.”

“ _Be My Baby_?” Doug, the lead male singer asked.

Desai nodded as she took her place at the mic. As the song ended, she gathered her guitar and began, _With or Without You_. 

Doug sang to her as if they were more than friends, they played with each other, although they were like brother and sister off stage, onstage they were lovers. 

Desai belted out Aretha Franklin’s _Chain of Fools_. The band always got shouts and yells for that one followed immediately by _Think_. 

Tom watched the chemistry between the two lead singers. Desai was amazing but he wondered if the chemistry between Doug and her was real or not. 

Doug was in a playful mood and suggested _The Power of Love_.

Tom was still wondering about that chemistry especially when _Kiss You All Over_ was finished. They were a hairsbreadth from each other their bodies so close. _Use Somebody_ followed by _Listen to my Heart_. That was immediately followed by Eric Carmen’s _Make Me Lose Control_ from Dirty Dancing.

Tom’s eyes never left Desai as she moved around and across the stage; she danced as she played and sang. Her hair flowing behind her at times when she became animated. When they played the old Nancy Sinatra song _These Boots Were Made for Walkin’_ she strutted like an erotic dancer and he was completely lost along with the rest of the men in the pub. _Express Yourself,_ from there they went directly into _Friday I’m In Love,_ and _I Can’t Make You Love Me_ , with her stepping off the stage and into the audience.

  
They slowed things down with _Dream Weaver_ by The Steve Miller Band. Per usual Desai always got lost in the music. Tonight, was no different, and this particular song fit. She walked back onstage as _Na, Na, Na, Na, Hey, Hey, Hey_ by Steam started with her and Doug becoming lovers again. 

“I was asked to sing my favorite song so here goes.”

Doug knew what song it was and removed her guitar saying as he did so, “She gets way too excited with this one boys!”

She blushed crimson from Doug’s playful actions as _Son of a Preacher Man_ began. 

Tom listened to her slightly lower octave and her slow and sexy movements, damn she had him semi-hard! 

Once the song was finished, she said, “I hope I didn’t disappoint.” Bowing she added, “We’ll be back in about fifteen minutes.”

“What happened, Desai?” Doug asked as he grabbed her hands. “Come with me, let’s get those cleaned and bandaged.”

Tom turned as they passed his table noticing that Doug had her hands wrapped in a bandana heading directly to the bar, he watched as they walked behind it with Doug using the hand soap to wash her hands. Once that was done he grabbed the first aid kit motioning for her to take a seat as he began to place the fingertip bandages onto three fingers on her left hand and her right thumb. He read her lips as she said to Doug, “Thank you, but I could have done that myself.” She smiled broadly as she walked back to his table. He immediately stood and placed the chair for her. “I thought you had left me,” he said close to her ear which raised goosebumps over her exposed skin. 

“Not a chance in Hell,” she whispered back as she sat down. Then louder, “I wasn’t expecting to play tonight, and I didn’t think to bandage my fingers beforehand.” Showing her hands, “I got cut.”

Tom winced, “Does that happen a lot?”

“Not usually, but I’ve been traveling a lot lately, well for the past three months, and haven’t played anything until tonight.” 

Allison asked in disbelief, “It’s hard to believe you haven’t played. What’s your secret?”

“No secret. I just know all the songs.” Desai shrugged. 

Sarah asked Desai how long she’d been playing. She explained that she had only been playing for two and a half years and that that went for the rest of the instruments. “I was in a horrific car wreck four years ago. Now, the music just happens. I hear a song once and it’s in my head forever. I can’t read sheet music, it’s hard to explain, but I see and feel the notes and the music just happens.” 

Tom watched as her hands gesticulated along with her conversation. She was so damn cute! No. Cute was not a word any man would use to describe Desai Alexander, she was beautiful. Intelligent. Talented. 

She shrugged again, “What I was prior to the wreck is mostly gone. There’s so much of my memory that’s gone. I remember most of my upbringing, parts of my marriage, and some of my friendships.” She gazed around the table and continued, “I was in a medically induced coma for almost two months and in the hospital for almost nine.” She looked around at everyone and stated flatly, “I was FUBAR.” She smiled without humor, “And I have the pictures to prove it.” 

Diana spoke up, “You’re lucky to be here. You spoke of marriage …”

Inwardly Tom was pleading silently please don’t be married. 

“Yes, I am very lucky to be here. I lost so much that day. My husband and my brother were killed.” She looked at Diana and smiled,

“There’s so much I have to be thankful for and I wake up every morning with a renewed purpose. I make the choice to be positive and that is what it is – a choice – to be a positive and caring person. My goal is to spend each and every day doing what I can to have a positive and productive day.” 

She shook her head slightly, “And it doesn’t matter what that productivity is as long as it’s positive work that I can be proud of. I will never waste another day of my life,” she could feel the unshed tears as they burned her eyelids, but in stubborn refusal did not allow them to fall as she continued, “I will not have any regrets in my life anymore.” She smiled and added, “When I take my last breath, I want to look back on a life spent doing, not wanting to do and the only regrets would be for the things I didn’t get to do.”

Tom’s heart swelled, what she’d just said was damn close to his dictum and he liked her even more for it. Someone who had endured what she had could have ended up so bitter toward everyone and everything. He was glad she hadn’t. 

“What a motto to live by, “James said. 

Sarah asked, “You said you were FUBAR but you’re beautiful. How …?”

Desai tilted her head slightly as she said, “Thank you, Sarah, for the compliment but I don’t see myself that way. There was a group of specialized surgeons who worked together to reconstruct my face. This face,” she made a circling motion, “belongs to someone else. I have no idea who they used as a model. All I know is that I still don’t recognize her at times.” She shrugged, “Yeah, she’s pretty but before the full facial tattooing I looked like Frankenstein. The doctors and cosmetic surgeons could not remove all the scarring. I ended up with these bluish-purple scars that were flat but large and jagged. So, I did some searching and found a wonderful woman who helps women with facial damage, and she does tattoos in skin tones.” 

“That’s a tattoo?!” Emma and Sarah asked together.

“Your face is a tattoo?” Allison asked in amazement.

Desai nodded, “It is. It took almost a month to get everything just right. I hated wearing makeup anyway, so this works great. One less thing to worry about in this chaotic world of mine.”

“What is it that you do? If you don’t mind me asking?” James asked. 

“I own Alexander Trucking Company in the States. I dove into the position of owner and CEO from what seems like a thousand feet. I was able to find a great financial advisor and a lawyer I trust, and they have been a fantastic help.”

Tom listened in awe, “Wow, a businesswoman,” he said with one of those devastating smiles of his.

“I had to get a passport because of all the traveling. Sometimes I feel like I live out of my trunk.” 

“Trunk?” Allison asked. 

Tom looked at her curiously.

Desai smiled at him; he was so damn cute when he was flustered. “We transport to Canada and into South America. I want to take it further I really want to go completely international. In fact, I’m leaving for Glasgow in the morning to speak with a gentleman about transporting some of his Scottish cattle to another gentleman in Montana. If all goes well then it will be great. I know a gentleman in Spain that wants to transport some of his horses across and into Tennessee.” 

  
“And in answer to your question, Allison; yes, a trunk, I have a huge late 1800s steamer trunk that I use if I’m going to be in a place for more than a month, it fits my purpose. I found it at an antique store and had it refurbished. It’s Louis Vuitton and I was not going to let it sit there and not share my adventures with me.”

“What do the airlines think about that?” Allison queried in her posh British accent.

She laughed a little, “I have no idea. I have my private transport.” She was not surprised by the looks of astonishment. “It came with the company,” she said casually. 

“You have a private plane?” Allison asked in disbelief. 

“There are three company jets; the smaller one is my favorite, it seats twelve, but the trunk will not fit in the storage compartment, the next larger seat twenty-five, the trunk does fit in it, when we take that one I always insist that the pilots bring their families along. Why waste fuel just for me? The biggest one seats eighty-five and has been refurbished to transfer the cattle.”

Tom noticed that Desai’s face lost almost all color when Jack, the waiter, came up to her and whispered in her ear. “Larry’s here.”

“Where is he?” she asked looking frantically around. “I don’t want to see him or he me.”

“It’s a little late for that love,” a man said close to her left ear. 

Tom observed the expression on her face it was a mixture of anger and contempt. “Go home to your wife, Larry, and leave me alone.” She stared straight ahead not giving the man a glance. Tom sat still unsure of what to do, after all, he did not know the lady at his right, but something told him she could handle the situation. When the man grabbed her hair in his hand and pulled her up and around to face him Tom started to stand but Allison jerked him back down into his seat. The expression on Tom’s face was clear as he faced Allison, _Keep your hands to yourself!_

Desai screamed from anger and pain, “You don’t have the right to touch me!” she yelled as her right hand contacted with his left cheek in a slap hard enough to whip his head around. _Damn, that felt good!_

Doug was at her side in a minute with Desai motioning him and some of the other guys back out of the way. "I got this," she said firmly.

Everything in the pub went silent as Desai began to rant at the man. “You lied to me! To your wife! To your children! And to whoever else you’ve been stringing along! No more.”

Larry looked shocked, “How did you …?”

“Your wife called me today and we had a very interesting conversation about how men like you make it horrendous for the good ones!”

She didn’t realize it at the time, but she was about to unleash the pent-up anger and frustration she’d been holding in all day. She was devastated; they had been seeing each other for almost three months and she had come so close to opening herself up to him. 

Tom and his family gaped at Desai’s courage. Larry was a head taller than Tom and muscular but Desai was standing up to him, completely unafraid. Tom was impressed but was ready to assist her if needed. 

“I refuse to be used by you or any other man!” She slapped his face again as she punched him in his chest, then gave him a left hook and he staggered back. “I will be treated with respect and kindness. I deserve no less than that! And from someone who isn’t already married!” She hit him again catching his chin in an uppercut and he retreated backward. “You should be at home helping your wife, playing with your children not out cheating on her! For God’s sake man, she’s pregnant! I told her the one thing I was proud of about our relationship was that I never had sex with you!” 

She reared back and gave it everything she had as she jumped and punched him right in the nose. “Get out of my sight! If I ever see you again, you’d better be going the opposite way!” She saw the anger flash in his eyes, and she knew he wanted to hit her back.   
“Get it out of your system,” Desai growled. “You won’t be getting a cherry. I can hold my own in a fight.” She was breathing heavily from the adrenalin coursing through her veins causing her chest to rise and fall rapidly as she assumed a boxer’s stance.

Larry clenched his fists and she briefly wondered if he would hit her, he glanced around as if suddenly remembering where he was and saw that all the men and most of the women were now standing. “This is not over,” he ground out as he shoved passed her nearly knocking her over. 

“Oh yes, it is! I _**NEVER**_ want to see you again! You jerk!” she yelled at his retreating back. When she turned around, she noticed that Tom and his father were both standing. Would Tom have gotten involved?

Suddenly a cheer went up in the pub. She could feel her face burning from embarrassment. _Mama, why did you give me such a temper? Was it because you knew I would need it? Is it you I get my strength from?_

“I’m sorry,” she began as she fumbled for her purse and shawl, “I – that was horrid of me. I really should –”

“Sit back down, Desai. You were not in the wrong,” Tom said in a tone that made her face him. She saw anger in those blue-green eyes, not for her, but for the man who had treated her unkind. “Are you alright?” he asked sincerely as he gazed at her hands.

“Yes, I’m fine,” she answered lowly as she rubbed her sore knuckles.

Doug was suddenly at her side, "Sis, you okay?"

She nodded to Doug. "Yeah, go on back to Becca, ok?" He nodded at her and moved across to his flavor-of-the-month. 

Tom wasn't as convinced, “Are you sure?” he asked as he took her hands into his and rubbed a long elegant finger across the red areas of her knuckles. “Those will be bruised by morning, love.”

Allison glared but didn’t dare say anything. She knew it was ending. 

_Why did that have to feel so good?_ _Desai, you are turning into a slut, a wanton slut!_

“I’ve been through worse,” she whispered as she reluctantly moved her hand from his and took her seat. “I just feel awful. I had no idea until today that Larry was married. I would have never gone out with him. There are four kinds of men I do not date: married men, men in relationships, policemen, and firemen. There’s just too much worry and heartbreak in relationships like that.”

Diana spoke in admiration, “Desai, you know how to take care of yourself and you have a very nice way of saying things when you’re angry. You didn’t curse at all.”

_Oh, but I wanted to. I wanted to call him every foul name in the book. Problem was I was not about to waste my precious energy on a man like him._ “No, I didn’t curse, but neither was I very lady-like. I hit him, punched him. I was just so mad at him for lying to me! We’ve been seeing each other for three months.” 

Tom smiled inwardly as her hands took on a life of their own as she spoke. Seems he wasn’t the only one who gesticulated. 

"I just really thought he cared for me, and only me. It hurts to know it was all a lie." She shook her head, “What I just did is way out of the parameter of my nature. I’m not sure how I dealt with things a few years ago,” she said distractedly as she ran shaky fingers through her hair and rose to go back on stage. "I'm not a violent person." 

Tom found himself getting lost in the music and fun that was once again coming from the stage. Desai was a natural performer. She apparently loved R&B as much as he did. There were some songs that he didn’t recognize but would soon be adding to his iPod. Eric Church. Which he knew to be classified as country sounded more like old school blues. The way she moved onstage amazed him; it was as if she became someone else. She transformed. 

Then the band went right into with Desai playing lead guitar, _Tin Man_. She got on the keyboard as they ended the night and she performed _Faded_ , _Love the Way You Lie_ , _I Found_ , and _Last Date_. She finished with her version of Patsy Cline’s _If You’ve Got Leaving on Your Mind._

Allison glanced at Tom and he was almost crying from the emotion that Desai was conveying to everyone. She knew it was all but gone as she asked, “You really like her, don’t you?” 

He turned his head in her direction and answered honestly, “Yes, Allison I do, but I do not want to argue. Please. We can talk when I take you home, but not now.” 

She nodded, “Okay,” Allison knew it was over. She had sensed it before now and she also knew she was the one who had ruined it. 

“Everyone, may I have your attention?” Desai was amazed at how quiet the pub became. “We have a very special gentleman here tonight and I would be amiss if I didn’t acknowledge him. “James, would you please stand? So that all of us may sing happy birthday to you?”

Tom’s dad stood and the entire pub sang and then Desai bought rounds for everyone.

She walked back to the table and sat, “As much fun as I've had I’m glad it’s over. I’m pooped!” She sighed as she looked around at everyone. “I’ve had a great time, but I should go. I still need to pack.” 

Diana spoke up, “Desai, when will you be back? And do you have a business card? I would love to get in touch with you so we could go shopping sometime.”

Tom silently thanked his mother for her quick thinking and perceptiveness. She knew him and knew if not for Allison, he would have asked Desai himself. 

“I should be back by the end of the week. And yes, I do have a business card.” She grabbed her purse. “If I can just find them ...I’m going to write my cell number on the back. I must warn you that I love antiquing and other vintage shops. Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong time or on the wrong planet.” She smiled again at everyone and gathered her purse and shawl. 

Tom stood as she did and she looked at him as she said, “I hope you had a good time tonight. It was great meeting you and your family and you too Allison.”

The woman smiled sadly at Desai.

“I should walk you to your car,” he said lowly. 

“No need I’m parked right there, the dark green one,” she pointed out the large pub window to her dark green dream car. A new Jaguar F-Type and he was loaded. She smiled as she gently poked Tom in the chest, “You take care of yourself.”

“I will,” he said laughing as he gave her a hug.

“Diana. Hug.” She made her way around the table giving Emma and Sarah a hug and even hugged Allison.

She walked up to Tom’s father, “James, take smaller bites,” she said with a smile as she gave him a hug and walked out into the cool night air. Her mind was on so many things; what to pack. _What was the weather going to be in Glasgow? Should I take my hiking boots?_

Which is why what happened next caught her by surprise. 

Two steps from her car the lights went dim and pain bloomed inside her head. She didn’t remember much else as Larry hit her so hard, she saw stars. She tried to gain her footing but knew it was a losing battle as he began giving her quick and painful punches to her face and chest, then kicked her in the side and stomach so hard she lost her breath. She sighed painfully as blissful darkness took her away. 

Desai wasn’t sure how much time had passed as she opened or rather tried to open her eyes, all she could see was glaring lights through tiny slits her head felt as if it had been used in a rugby match, hurting so bad it made her nauseous. She listened closely as she heard someone crying then realized it was her. 

**Author's notes: please forgive the imperfections of this story. I have no idea when Tom's father's birthday is. Also, this is my first time posting here so please forgive the mistakes as I get used to using this format.**


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of being beaten almost to death brings Tom and Desai closer as she heals they become friends. Let the romance begin!

**Chapter Two**

A voice, deep and comforting, was next to her ear whispering softly, “Shhh, sweetheart. You’re safe now.” By the time they allowed him to go in and see her, her face was swollen to the point he wasn’t sure how she was breathing. Hell, he barely recognized her. Blood still ran in small rivulets from her nose as she whimpered and moaned in pain. It broke his heart. How could any man do this to a woman?

“Nnnnhhh, wwhhhtt ’appen’?” she asked through swollen split lips, realizing she couldn’t move her eyes.

“Shhh. Don’t try and talk, love. The bleeding is almost stopped.” He paused for a second and continued, “Larry attacked you as you were about to get into your car. They arrested him. He will not hurt you again,” he asserted as he spoke to her comfortingly.

Everything was foggy but that voice she recognized. It was Tom. A flood of relief flowed over her. There were so many questions she wanted to ask, but her mouth hurt so bad she decided against it at the moment.

Another voice was speaking, “Ms. Alexander, we are putting you in a room for overnight observation possibly longer. You have a concussion; therefore, I cannot give you anything for the pain save for Paracetamol. I have however ordered some nausea medication to be placed into your drip and that will make you drowsy. Can you hear me all right?”

She nodded an answer that sent a new wave of pain through her head and neck making her moan as tears built up behind her swollen eyes.

Tom gently traced her veins and bruised hands thinking, you will never know how it hurts me to see you cry. “Please, don’t cry, love, it will only make your pain worse,” he cautioned her tenderly.

He wasn’t sure why he felt the way he did toward her. This feeling he had was something new. It had come over him almost from the moment he laid eyes on her, as if they had met before but he would have remembered someone as beautiful and talented as she was. It didn’t matter one way or the other he wasn’t going to deny the feelings he had. If it turned out to be all for naught, then so be it but he was going to give it everything he had, and he truly believed that she would do the same.

She appeared so fragile right now, and in a way she was. But he knew she was a strong and independent woman. She stood he guessed at about five foot nine and was built as they say like a brick shit house. But she didn’t see herself as being beautiful or even pretty.

Wiping his face, as if that would remove the images from his thoughts, he admonished himself. In his mind, they were standing in front of a large mirror and she had just told him how she felt about her body, _“I have so many scars. I’m ashamed for you to see me like this.”_

_“You’re ashamed of your body? My love, your body is perfection,” he made a point of nibbling along her jawline as he said, “Look into the mirror. See how your waist is perfect for my arms to encircle you? How the curves of your hips give me a perfect hold? How you fit perfectly against me? How your breasts overflow into my hands? Can you not feel how much simply caressing your skin excites me? Keep watching, my love. I want you to watch me show you how much I love your body.”_

He really should get his mind off her body because the damage that bastard had done was not going away soon. A perfect shoe print in the center of her abdomen. Four cracked ribs, numerous cuts and bruises that were too many to count, and on top of that a concussion. Eyes so swollen she couldn’t open them. Her lips cut and swollen from the slaps and punches she had received. He should have walked her out, but she had reminded him that she was parked right there in front of the pub in sight of everyone. He would give the asshole one thing he had some huge stones. By the time he had reached her Larry was running off into the darkness with several of the patrons in hot pursuit. He had gently bent down and leaned over her afraid to touch or move her as he dialed 999 and gave them the information.

He had told Allison that he was sorry about the night ending the way it had and sent her home in a cab. They both knew their relationship was over. He followed the ambulance in his car to the hospital then waited for hours. While he waited, he helped the admission clerk fill out Desai’s forms. He noticed her address; she only lived a short distance from him in the same Primrose Hill neighborhood. He carefully replaced her insurance cards back in her wallet and smiled at the lock screen on her phone. It was a picture of him as Loki from Thor: Ragnarök with the knives and across it, it stated: I am Loki of Asgard and I am burdened with glorious purpose…which is to protect this mortal’s phone, so back off or she’ll kill me.

When the Police had shown up, he had answered all their questions as best he could knowing there was no way in her condition that she would be able to do so. They agreed once they saw her.

Once the nurses had her in a private room and admitted, he dropped his lanky frame into a chair and placed his right hand under hers so that he would know if she moved, as he began to replay the night over and over in his mind. He knew there would be no sleep for him this night. Or rather what was left of it. It was close to daylight. He looked up as out of his peripheral vision he saw movement. The familiar frame he knew well. “Mum? What are you …?”

She smiled at her son in a knowing way. She knew he cared for the woman lying bruised and beaten in the hospital bed. He was always so quick to become attracted to girls, especially those he felt he needed to protect in some way. She didn’t know how much he cared about Desai, but it was more than a passing glance or an infrequent one-night stand. And even in the condition she was in she was a damned sight better for her son that Allison could ever think about being. She was glad they were over.

“I could ask you the same. How is she?” she asked with concern as she noticed Desai looked worse than before due to the swelling. There was barely enough elastic for the oxygen mask, and it was making indentations into her cheeks.

He recited what the doctor had said as he removed himself from the chair so that his mother could have a seat, “Four cracked ribs, a concussion for which they can give her no real pain medication. Only something for nausea and too many cuts and bruises to count. And no MRI because of a piece of metal she has embedded in her brain.” The expression on his mother’s face had him adding quickly, “Apparently it happened during the wreck she told us about.”

Diana nodded, then asked, “Is she asleep?”

“I’m not sure. She’s not made any sounds except for breathing. Why?”

Diana made a motion for them to step outside. “Larry’s dead. He refused to give a DNA sample and a fight ensued while I was answering questions, he somehow got hold of a gun ...”  
“Desai will be devastated by that,” Tom said quietly. “I know she cared about him. She’ll blame herself.”

“There’s something else, Thomas.”

He looked from the woman on the bed to his mother and raised a questioning brow. It was serious if she called him Thomas.

“The Police believe that he is the rapist and murderer they’ve been searching for. One of the women who was raped came in tonight to give a better description. When she saw him, she started screaming. That’s when the fight happened.” She gave her son a motherly hug. “I’m going to get us something to drink. Do you want tea or coffee?”

Tom rubbed his face, “I think coffee, mum. And thank you.”

Diana smiled as she walked off to the nurse’s station to inquire about drinks.

Tom turned back to Desai when she moaned. He moved to her side, “I’m right here, darling. You’re safe. No one’s going to hurt you.”

“Tom,” it was drawn out and barely a whisper.

“Shhh, sweetheart. You’re safe.”

“Hold me,” it was said in a barely audible whisper.

He was so afraid that he would hurt her and was surprised when she moved on her own groaning as she let her legs dangle off the bed. He sat beside her and gathered her tenderly into his arms. “You are the strongest woman I’ve ever met,” he said in admiration smiling when she leaned into him sighing in contentment.

“I’ve had to be,” she murmured through lips so swollen she could barely speak. She longed to tell him about her life and dreaded it at the same time. Her life had not always been a good or happy one, but nevertheless, she felt that Tom needed to know. Would want to know.

“Let be me your strength, Desai … at least for now. I promise I’ll see you through this,” he whispered against her earlobe.

“Thank you.”

Diana walked in holding two cups of steaming brew. “Desai, shouldn’t you be lying down?”

She gave her a small negative shake of her head and as she did a wave of nausea crashed over her. “Nurse.”

Tom grabbed the cord with the emergency nurse button and pressed it. “They’ll be here in a moment, darling,” he murmured against her ear.

“Ms. Alexander?” the nurse asked a couple of minutes later.

Desai made a motion of her stomach rolling and head spinning. “I’ll get you something, but you will have to lie back down,” the nurse said firmly.

Desai groaned but was not going to argue. The medication would make her sleep anyway, but oh how she wanted Tom’s arms around her. To wake up in his arms would be a small bit of Heaven. “I’ll be right here love,” Tom whispered as he placed a kiss on her neck just below her ear.

Small shivers swept over her in waves that went straight to her core. How could he do that?!

She lay down as instructed with Tom’s assistance and as the medication hit her bloodstream, she was off to dreamland.

Tom took the still steaming cup of coffee from his mother and sipped gingerly careful not to burn his lips. He had plans for those later, smiling inwardly he imagined Desai on his bed gazing at him longingly as he undressed and joined her, as he softly spoke, _“I want to feel you cum against mouth. I want to hear you scream my name as I lap at your exquisite little cunt. Then I want to enter you slowly, smiling as you gasp and call out my name, and then when I am fully inside you --”_

He was jolted out of his fantasy by his mother. “Tom. Earth to Tom.”

“Yes, mum?”

“Where were you?” Diana asked with a soft laugh as she watched her son gazing at the woman on the bed.

There was no way he could tell his mother about his thoughts of Desai. “I was wondering how long it will take her injuries to heal.” And that was partly the truth.

“Umm-hmm.” Diana sat in the chair as Tom took a seat on the edge of the bed.

“Mum? What is it about her?”

“I don’t know but please be careful. I don’t want you hurt again. You very nearly killed yourself with work last time you went too far too fast.”

He nodded knowing his mother was right. He had thrown everything into his work so that he could forget. His mother understood, she always had and always would.

Over the next eight days, Desai healed enough that she could see through eyes that although still black and blue could open all the way. She was also able to speak without her lips hurting unless she got too animated or smiled too widely. She was very busy texting explaining to her managers what was going; she also spoke with the Vice President making sure the Scottish cattle were delivered as promised. She was discharged on the ninth day and took a cab home since she had not yet exchanged numbers with Tom although he had delivered her car home.

Tom had been by her side every night and during his one day off. She had learned he was rehearsing for a play. He wouldn’t tell her what it was, but he promised her she would have the best seat in the house. The first few days he was continuously going over his lines, speaking them to her although she was out of it most of the time.

They listened to music from his iPod and she was surprised to find that they had similar tastes. There were a few that surprised her, _Poison_ by Prodigy being one, he said that was his Loki song.

She also learned he loved to dance and laugh, he was a genuine person just as she had thought he would be. She shared her stories from growing up watching his eyes fill with laughter before it arrived on his lips.

"You really had your own pony?" he asked.

"I did. Dad taught me to saddle him after I learned how I would sneak out sometimes and ride him at night. I loved riding during the full moon." She laughed. "I mean here's this six-year-old chubby -- well fat -- child and she’s riding in the pasture under a full moon." She smiled at him. "I did it even though I knew I would get into trouble." She shook her head. "I didn't care I loved it."

He laughed, "Ehehehe. I can imagine you doing just that. Do you still ride?"

"At night or --" She giggled at his expression, "When I have the time I do ride. I love the Friesians, Gypsies, and the Quarter horses that we've rescued."

"You rescue horses? How many do you have?" he asked just before he took a bite of his sandwich.

"All together we have saved about a hundred. There are some at the farm in Fayetteville and the others are in Montana. We have a very rare red Friesian that's named Loki Red. He is a beautiful stallion and is so sweet. If I'm in the paddock he'll follow me around like a puppy. I love that horse." She sighed, "I have an arrangement with some of the animal shelters here and in some of the other cities to make them into 'no-kill shelters'. I provide the funds so that all the medical bills are paid and all the food they need is provided as well. Only the ones that are too far gone and nothing else will help are euthanized." She turned back to look at him, "I hate to see anything suffer."

"You should smile, Desai. It looks great on you."

She did smile then as she said, "Everyone looks better with a smile. I don't mean to be melancholy I was thinking about Larry."

"Tell me about him," he said softly. "I mean if you want to...if it would help. I'm a great listener and I can keep secrets."

"Thank you, Tom. I appreciate it. Would it be appropriate for me to be able to call you a good friend? Or is it too soon -- or would you rather --"

"I am honored to call you a friend of mine," he said as he lightly took her hand in his giving her knuckles a kiss. "I hate to leave but I have work."

"I know. Maybe later we might could order a pizza?"

He smiled at that as he nodded, "I'll see you tonight, love." He leaned down giving her a kiss on her forehead.

***

Tom was out of Desai’s room when a reporter came for a visit, but very nearly entered until he saw what was going on. He whirled with the grace of a ballerina carrying two cups of what she presumed was coffee or Earl Grey tea. It was sort of funny she thought that they liked their coffee and tea prepared the same way. They really were like best friends, talking about everything and nothing at times.

The tabloids had been busy with the story about Larry and Desai (including hospital photos) and how she would probably have been his next victim. All Desai could think was, _‘How in the world did Tom put up with this shit?’ Well, in all honesty, Desai you’ve had your moments with them as well._

***

The paparazzi were not nice and didn’t care what you were doing. They were going to get that picture even if it killed them. Desai’s phone rang as she was about to adjust the water temperature for a shower. She wrinkled her nose as it showed an unfamiliar number, thinking that it could be Diana she answered, “Hello?”

“Desai?”

“Yes?” There was so much noise in the background that she could barely hear the man. “I can barely hear you. Do we have a bad connection?”

“No, my darling, just the London traffic this time of day.”

“Tom!” she winced slightly as she opened her mouth a little too wide and felt a split open in her lower lip.

“Yes, love. May I come over?” _Say yes, say yes, say yes_ , he thought.

“Yes. Do you know the address?”

“Yes.”

“Then come on over. The code for the gate is 9861.”

Neither said goodbye instead “See you soon,” was said in unison as they hung up. She quickly took a shower wondering if he was hungry. She could get something going but if she did and he wasn’t hungry then what? She decided that if he were hungry she would just order something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I'm getting better at this. I hope you enjoy the ongoing romance between these two.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Romance ensues as Tom and Desai become friends with benefits. They each know they love each other, but neither can say it ... just yet.

**Chapter Three**

Standing inside the walk-in closet Desai stared at the clothes hanging at various heights, finally deciding on an old pair _Levi’s_ and a blue long-sleeved tee-shirt, no need to get fussy after all it wasn’t a date. Not really. This was Tom, her friend, coming over to check on his friend. That was all. No matter how much more she wanted it to be.

She was in the process of opening a bottle of wine then headed to the front door as the doorbell sounded. She began to laugh as her gaze wandered over him. They were dressed alike. “Like your outfit,” she said in a fit of giggles.

Tom was laughing as he said, “I think you wear it better. How are you, darling?” he asked as he wrapped her gently in his arms.

“Better now,” she answered hugging him back. “Come on in. I wasn’t sure if you’d be hungry, so I didn’t start supper.” _Why did everything feel so right when I was in his arms?_

“I am but I would never have expected you to make me something in your condition, love.”

Desai laughed as she imagined him saying that to his future wife, “Tom, I’m not helpless.”

He turned and she bumped into him, before she could step back, she found herself in his arms again. “Desai, helpless is not a word that I would use to describe you in any situation.”

“Thank you. I have to tell you I could get used to this,” she replied with a grin. He was being so gentle and mindful of her almost healed ribs.

“So, could I,” he whispered almost breathlessly.

Something in his voice made her look up from his lips and into his eyes and whatever it was that she was about to say was silenced by those blue-green orbs as they searched hers.

“I want to kiss you,” he said tenderly as he lowered his forehead until it was touching hers. “But I dare not risk hurting your lovely lips.”

_He wanted to kiss me?!_ “Tom. Maybe if we …”

“No,” he shook his head somehow knowing what she was about to say. “When I kiss your lips and I will,” he said firmly. “I will kiss you slowly, thoroughly, intimately and I might not be gentle about it. I want to see your lips swollen for a different reason than this,” he said sensually as he traced her lower lip gently with his fingertip.

She moaned at the image that came to her mind. _His fingers tangled in my hair as he gently tugged until I was facing him, his voice gently commanding as he said, “Kiss me. Give me your pretty tongue to suck on.”_

Tom smiled sexily at her and murmured, “You may not know it, Desai, but seduction begins with the lips and I fully intend to seduce you in every way imaginable.” Her eyes widened as a feeling like that of butterflies swirled in her abdomen, her mind wandering into another fantasy, _My eyelids fluttered closed of their own volition as his lips claimed mine in a searing kiss that burned its way to my very core. I moaned into his mouth as I tasted the offering of his tongue._

She couldn’t help herself as she spoke somewhat nervously, “And here I thought you were the perfect gentleman in every way possible.”

“I am always a gentleman, never doubt that Desai, but I am still a man,” he whispered sexily, deeply, against her neck. _Who wants you in ways you have never imagined. I want you so badly that I had to take a cold shower at the theatre before driving here._ His cock gave a throb of annoyance against the constraints of his boxers and jeans reminding him of how much he wanted to make love to the woman in his arms.

“And I’m a woman who is thanking all the gods in the universe for that, Tom.” _I like you so much it scares me. Desai, use caution, you’re both coming out of a relationship. Take this slow._ Placing her hands against his chest she looked into his eyes. “Tom.”

“Let’s have a seat and decide what to have for supper before we get to that,” he said in his Hank Williams accent as he placed a kiss on her forehead.

Any further discussion about intimacy would have to wait until later as they poured the wine and decided that Chinese food suited their palates. As they sat waiting on the food to arrive, they talked mostly about each other’s work.

He spoke about the rehearsals but still refused to tell her the name of the play and she had promised him to not try and find out. They ambled around most of their past, especially the painful parts without really going into a lot of detail and that’s when Desai knew he had a painful past too. His eyes told the story if anyone cared to look deep enough. That was probably the reason he had not married, someone or more than one someone had broken his heart and caused him to not trust in love – at least not completely.

“I can’t believe that you have not Googled me, but happily so.”

She shrugged, “I am not a fangirl at least not the typical type. Yes, I am a fan, but since I’ve met you there is so much more than just the outer appearance to like.” She smiled as he blushed. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you. You have to know you’re an attractive man.”

He was shaking his head, “Average at best.”

“I think you need a new pair of glasses, however, that’s okay, none of us see ourselves the way others see us, especially in a positive way at least most of the time. I still don’t recognize myself at times. This face throws me off in more ways than one. It garners more attention from men than I would like.”

“I thought you liked me,” he said in a mock hurtful tone.

She rolled her eyes and facepalmed, “Thomas William Hiddleston!”

“That’s me. Although I have to confess, I have been called a few other names as well.”

“Ahh, let me guess: _‘You little shit!’ Rat! Cheeky._ Do I need to go on?”

“Nah that pretty much covers the bases. You don’t have any siblings, do you?” The second it was out of his mouth he regretted it. There was a sadness that crossed her face briefly and then was gone, almost as if it were never there.

“Just the one.” She gazed into his eyes, “Tom, I really love your work. What you can do with just your face is amazing, the emotions you can evoke is an inspiration for those who want to learn how to do what you do. I can see you teaching if you ever retire from acting.”

“Teaching is something that I probably would have chosen had I not gotten so involved with acting.”

“I am in awe of your acting abilities and I could kick myself for not getting to see you while you were in New York performing _Betrayal_ , but I was in Madrid and then Switzerland. There are times I hate how much I’m traveling and soon I’ll be going back South to Atlanta for the training sessions.”

Tom became animated at that, “Really? I’ll be filming Loki in Atlanta soon.”

She smiled at that bit of news. “We could fly out together then. I mean if you want and if we’re going to be going at the same time.”

“Yeah, yeah. That’d be great,” he smiled.

“Done and done, then my friend.” She grinned at him, “It’s a date.”

“I thought this was,” he said sexily and laughed a little as she blushed.

“I would have dressed up had I known.”

“You look fine the way you are, Desai. I wouldn’t have minded going out, but I didn’t think that you would have wanted to. Not with the –” he motioned to her still healing black-bluish-green eyes.

“Oh, no. There’s only gonna be one _Rocket Raccoon_ on the planet. I tried some makeup and it made me look like one of _The Walking Dead_.”

They both laughed at that.

“I want to know about you, Desai. The you that only those you allow into your inner circle know.”

“You already do, Tom. I've told you more about myself than I have ever told anyone else, except for family," she smiled up at him, "Is that your way of saying let’s take this slow?”

He nodded, but said, “Maybe. Desai, I do not want to be hurt again any more than you do and let’s face it we’re both coming out of relationships that were painful.” His eyes drifted and seemed to focus on the far wall. “When I met Allison, I really thought that I had met a caring and loving woman who would understand that I loved my work and that it was and will –”

“Always be your first passion.”

He nodded.

“I understand,” Desai spoke softly _because I do understand that for you acting will always be your first love that is until you decide that a family is more important._ “When I met Larry, I felt the same way,” she sighed, not really wanting to talk about the man who more than likely would have killed her in the end. "Larry was a -- I thought -- kind and gentle man who loved to be with me. He traveled with me -- was a close companion and -- how did I not know? I mean, some of those women he hurt and killed he did when he was with me. I don't know how to feel about that. I know I feel awful for the families of those women. I paid for their funerals. Anonymously."

Tom sat in awe. "That's not something you had to do," he said quietly as he reached for her hand.

"Yes ... yes it was. If not for him being with me ... those women might still be alive."

He pulled her into his arms, "Shhh, that part of your life is in the past." He kissed her temple and murmured, "Tell me about your business."

She searched Tom’s face then said, “I have the third-largest trucking company in the states and some other smaller businesses." She smiled, "One coffee and pastry shop here that is managed by three women."

"What's it called?"

"The Sweet Daily Grind."

"I love that shop! The pastries are always so fresh!"

"Of course they are. They're done in house in small batches."

"What other businesses do you own?"

"Four others, an artisan bakery in Atlanta that makes the absolute best doughnuts and crème filled pastries along with varied breads, scones, and cakes. Skipping Scones is its name."

Tom laughed a little, "You are creative with those names."

"There's a shop in Montana that tans leather and makes handmade items, it's called 'I'll Tan Your Hide', the bakery in Las Vegas is called 'Lucille's', and a moving company, 'Move It On Over'. Unfortunately, all of them need to be able to get in touch with me at any time and I need to be able to know how to handle whatever situations may arise. I have many different hats, so to speak, that I wear and depending on the day or hour that hat may need to be changed.”

She caressed his face, “Tom, if we do become more than friends There’s no way that I would ever want to hurt you in any way, but especially about your acting. You’ve worked so hard for so long and it warms my heart to see you finally getting the recognition you deserve and for more than just one character.”

“I’ve said it before, but I’m saying it again; you are amazing.”

“That sounded like a brotherly compliment.”

“No,” he laughed. “I don’t feel brotherly toward you at all. I want you and I believe that you want me just as much, but I understand that we need to take things slow. Do you want to tell me more about Larry? I know you were hurt and not only by the attack. I know you cared for him.”

"Yes. I did. I cared very much, but that phone call from his wife was what sealed things up. He had three children and another on the way, Tom. Kathy told me that he never offered to lay a hand on her to harm her, but she told me she knew he had been lying to her. I was honest with her when I told her that I didn't have sex with him."

She shrugged, “I’m not sure how I should feel about him. He has been proven to be not only a liar and cheat but a rapist and murderer.” She searched his eyes, “What does that say about me? That – I – I – I’m – was desperate for affection?” She ran shaky fingers through her hair, “I’m not immune to the whispers and it’s just day one of me being home. What will they say about you and me?” Rubbing her face, she continued, “The last thing I would want is for your career to be harmed in some way because of me.”

“Don’t think that way, Desai. I’ve made enough mistakes with women to know that nothing and I mean nothing is going to stop anyone from talking or thinking in a negative way. I really do care about you.”

“I care about you too, Thomas. Do you mind me using that instead of Tom?”

“When it comes out of your mouth it sounds so different than it does from anyone else. No. I don’t mind at all.” He caressed her arm, “I still want to know where you grew up. I want to see pictures of that little girl who rode her pony at night so that I can compare those with what I have in my head.”

“I was fat.” At his expression, she added, “No really I was fat. Was for most of my life. I started losing weight about five years ago, but I do have pictures.” I ghosted a kiss on his cheek. “I’ll be right back.”

Tom looked around at the large living room and found that he liked the sort of rustic feel the place had to it. It had been owned by a man a married one if he were to guess. There were feminine touches here and there, but he was not sure if Desai was the one that had decorated or another woman. Whoever it was had good taste. From what he had seen of the house it was immaculate and very well proportioned. The sofa they had been sitting on was of a deep brown leather, a sectional that would sit at least ten people. The coffee table was large and made of what looked to be reclaimed wood what kind he was unsure of. The floor in this room was also wood and the area rug covered the floor where the sofa sat and was a good two meters around in every direction.

The kitchen he had noted was large with sections designated for baking, preparation, and meat cutting, the counters were of rose quartz granite the cabinets were of old barn wood with handmade cast-iron curled handles. The sub-zero refrigerator doors were covered in the same barn wood as was the large standing freezer. The range was a commercial type with a double oven, something a chef would love to have. _I wonder if she cooks a lot._ He noticed the floor was, in contrast to the grey cabinets, brightly colored geometric tile with pops of red, blue, and yellow here and there, he also noted the non-slip area rugs in front of strategic areas that lent color to what would otherwise might have been considered a dark and drab room. 

“Everything okay?” she asked as she came back into the room her arms laden with photo albums.

Tom whirled, “Here allow me to help.”

“No need,” she said as she placed them on the coffee table. “I hope you weren’t looking for a bathroom. The closest one is in my bedroom, second door on the left and then the first left once in there.” She grimaced, “That’s probably the only thing I don’t like about this house. It’s older and doesn’t have as many bathrooms as I’d like.”

Tom stood before her and although she was tall, five foot nine, he was taller. She stared into his eyes watching the emotions as they played there, her head tilted slightly upward. “You shouldn’t look at me like that,” he cautioned.

“Why?”

“Because I – I – might do this,” _to hell with taking things slow! He knew how he felt about her and had known since he first laid eyes on her!_ He captured her face between his large hands, and her lips with his tongue demanding entrance, he felt more than heard her moan of desire as she opened her mouth to his invasion. There could be no other term for it. He didn’t care about anything but the taste of her. The feel of her. The want of her. And the need of her.

Desai sighed as he taught her things with his tongue no other ever had. He was a very accomplished kisser and very nearly had her climaxing from the kiss alone. How the hell could he do that?! It was a deep kiss that had their tongues mating in a ritual as old as time itself. He pulled away when he heard her moan and not from desire. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I forget myself at times, but then it’s easy for me to forget when I’m around you,” he kissed her forehead pulling her down into a sitting position on the sofa next to him. “I’m sorry I hurt you. Was it your lips?”

“No. Ribs. We were hanging on pretty tight.” She nudged him, “Hey, it’s okay, no harm no foul.” His countenance brightened immediately at her words. “You still wanna see my baby pictures?”

“Of course, I do,” he said as he smiled brightly and it was as if nothing would or could ever hurt her again.

“I trust you, Thomas.” _With more than I should probably. Please don’t hurt me. I’m not sure I can stand another heartbreak. I might can fool you, but I cannot fool myself. I’m falling head over heels for you! No. I’m already there._

He looked her full on then as he tucked a stray curl behind her ear. The way she said that, there was more than just trust he could see it. Feel it. Damn how he wanted her. “I will do everything in my power to never break that trust. I want to know everything about you, Desai Alexander.”

She laughed, then said in a playful tone, “Google me.” She looked at him as he made a face, tucking her feet underneath her she sat shoulder to shoulder with him, “Sorry about that smart assed quip.” Tom grinned at her as he placed a long arm across her shoulders.

She continued, “I was born and raised in Alabama in a very small town called Twin. I grew up on a small farm and learned early about the pain of loss and that death was forever.” She opened one of the large albums, “This is me at about three months old.”

“You’re adorable.”

She shook her head, “This is me at three, almost four. This was when I learned about how when something dies it’s forever.”

“I’m sorry, love,” he said as he lightly almost absently stroked her arm and cheek.

She leaned into his light strokes and was smiling as she began to recount what she remembered of her life, “I remember my great-grandfather. He was such a clown! He used to try and scare me by reaching around the chair I was in. Then he would pick me up sit me on his lap and we would watch television together. He would hold me close, so close I could hear his heartbeat and he would tell me how much I reminded him of my great-grandmother,” she smiled as she looked at Tom. “His name was Thomas too. Thomas Edison Lincoln. His eyes were a lot like yours but greyer. He was also tall. I think he was probably the first man I ever loved.”

“Not your father?” he asked puzzled.

She shook her head. “My father wasn’t the type of man who enjoyed having a toddler climb onto his lap. Of course, that could have been because of his back injury. I’m not sure. I was never made to feel that I mattered one way or the other at least not by my father.

“I don’t remember my dad telling me that he was proud of me for anything I did. Or that he loved me. I was compared a lot to my older brother and felt like I was asked on a daily basis: _‘Why can’t you be like him?’_ Well of course I couldn’t be like him. I was me. I still am me.”

“Please don’t change. I like you fine just the way you are,” he started by placing a kiss on her head as he placed the photo album on the table.

“All of my grandparents were gone by the time I was thirteen. I was holding my grandmother’s hand when she took her last breath. The serenity on her face was beatific. Then I lost both of my parents when I was seventeen. I was already married at that time, had been for almost a year. They were killed in a robbery,” she sighed as she continued, “I am now truly alone. I have no family except for those who would use me for what they can get.”

“You are not alone, Desai, and no one can use you unless you allow it.”

“I know, but I do wonder sometimes if my parents are proud of me now. I started nursing school at eighteen, became an R.N. at twenty-two,” she smiled as Tom said, “Wow, aren’t you the smarty pants.”

The doorbell saved her from any more dialogue about herself as Tom retrieved their supper. She was nervous, knowing that the attraction was mutual between them. That kiss had proven that, and the banter was delightful and funny but underlying all of it was a current of sexual tension silently screaming to be released.

“Let’s just sit on the floor,” Tom suggested as he placed the bags onto the large coffee table. “I know you like animals,” he said out of the blue.

“No,” she answered as she took a sip of wine.

“Oh.” He couldn’t keep the disappointment out of his voice.

“I _love_ animals! You already know that I work with three of the animal shelters here in London. I’ve made sure they’ll get anything they need even if something happens to me. I have several shelters in the states that cater to all sorts of animals that have been abused, abandoned, or neglected. The people I’ve hired help them become rehabilitated so they have a chance to have a loving ‘rest of their life’ ever how long or short that life might be.”

He became more amazed with each thing he learned about her. She could make him believe just the opposite of what she meant. _Was that a good thing?_ He hoped so. He knew he probably looked like a star-struck schoolboy, but he couldn’t help but smile at her. He was amazed at her charity work with animals, he wondered what other organizations she was involved in, and he smiled as she continued. He wondered if her talking was a way to keep his lips from capturing hers again. She was more than adorable, and it made him want her more the more she talked.

She turned to face him, that smile with all of his boyish charm, made her even more nervous so she kept talking, “Did you know that animals are very sensitive they feel the same emotions that we do. People don’t always see it, but they feel things very deeply, and they form strong connections with one another – not just with humans. I will always argue with anyone who says otherwise because pets and animals in general very much feel love and sadness just like us.” He smiled as she became more animated, “And did you also know that the word animal comes from the Latin word animalis, meaning having breath, having soul or living being.” She gazed at him, “Why did you ask?”

“I have a Spaniel named Bobby. You sound as if you are a very busy woman. A very passionate woman,” he said as he removed items from the bags.

“I bet he’s cute. I’m guilty of all those. I am busy.” She noticed he was looking at her funny as she unfolded the takeout boxes. “What?” I asked as I glanced at him.

He laughed, “I’ve not been able to ever do that correctly.” My hands are too big or something.”

She made a pfftttt noise as she grinned. “You’re hands are elegant.” She glanced over at him as she bit her lower lip, “Did you see the paper?”

“Yes. As always it was outrageous but they said nothing bad about you only that they thought you would have been his next victim; and they were right. He could have killed you. I should have walked you out.”

“And then what? You getting hurt or worse? I’m okay. He got me from behind and my mind was not on my environment as it should have been. There had been so many things going through my mind; what to pack, which car to take, what the weather would be. That’s the only reason I ended up in the hospital.” _I knew I sounded angry. Hell, I was angry. At myself._ “I’m not mad at you, Thomas.”

“I didn’t think you were. I understand it’s the situation. But I can tell you I’ve had my share of bumps and knocks. The scars on my forehead for example. I got smashed by a door. I’ve also had my nose and face hit before while playing rugby and by some bigger than Larry was.” He shrugged as she looked at him in shock. “Even with the best choreography acting can still go wrong at times, but I do know how to protect myself I know capoeira...”

“The Brazilian martial arts,” she finished for him, “The only self-defense I know is ‘I’m gonna whup yer ass.’”

Tom laughed, and in a dignified Southern drawl, he stated, “Darling, your whoop-ass is amazing.”

“You’re the one who’s amazing. Is there anything you cannot do?”

“Yes,” he said sadly. “I cannot kiss one of the most beautiful, strong, and independent women I have ever had the good fortune to meet it seems without hurting her.”

“Sure, you can,” she said nonchalantly around a bite of Chow Mein, “and you have been. You didn’t hurt my lips earlier and besides lips are not the only place that can be kissed.” As the words came out of her mouth, she blushed crimson.

Tom grinned and said in his Loki voice, “Is that a statement from experience, my pet? Or are you a naughty girl, Sweetling?”

Shivers crashed over her body sending signals downward as goosebumps covered her exposed skin. “On the grounds that it might incriminate me I plead the fifth amendment.”

“This isn’t America, love. There is no fifth amendment here,” he stated using another deep voice that sent waves of desire over her body.

“Then I choose to remain silent,” she bantered back. “I know there’s something in English law about that.”

“You are a smart cookie,” he said in admiration. “It was established as common law from the 17th century.”

Looking into his sparkling blue-green eyes he reminded her of a little boy in a way, but he wasn’t. He was a grown man that was as handsome as any angel and was so smart. She was pretty sure that when Tom was conceived angels sang. He wasn’t just good looking he was devastatingly handsome. With a brain to boot.

“If you keep looking at me that way, I cannot promise that I won’t take you up on the offer to kiss you elsewhere,” he said smiling mischievously, “and I’ll let you tie my arms, so they don’t hurt your ribs.”

Desai gulped as her heart and imagination went into overdrive. “Eat your supper,” she said quickly as the image of Tom tied to the bedposts popped into her head. _Good Lord help me! I’m turning into a shameless floozy where this man is concerned!_ The image of a meme came to mind that said _: “I’m not saying I did kinky things last night, but Loki just woke up chained to my bed and won’t make eye contact.”_

He laughed and she started giggling and it wasn’t entirely from the way he was laughing. _The image of that man in my bed tied to the bedposts made my mouth water with want._ The way he laughed was so sweet that little ehehehehehe of his was going to be her undoing.

“I have to admit something to you. I have YouTubed you. I wanted to see the interviews I had missed. Did you know there are music videos with you in them? You have some very devoted fans, male and female of all ages.”

“I don’t YouTube that much, it’s a lot like the other sites,” he said almost sadly.

“If I offended you, I’m sorry.”

“No, love. You haven't offended me. I was only thinking that when are seen together, and we will be, it’s going to be a circus.” He became serious then as he asked, “They will probably say things that aren’t true – about you. Blame you for ruining my career. Make judgments on your clothes and appearance. What do you think about that? The cameras in your face or taking pictures from a distance as we try to have a private moment.”

She took a sip of wine and said, “Thomas,” she began softly. “You really should Google me. I’ve gone through the paparazzi snapping pictures and making me see dots with their stupid flashes. You saw them at the hospital. And I got to see the oh-so-smooth Mr. Thomas _‘The Ballerina’_ Hiddleston as he almost perfectly pirouetted holding two cups of steaming brew and danced away unseen and unheard.”

He raised one of those unruly eyebrows as he asked, “You saw me do that?”

She nodded at him and smiled as she continued her story, “You see my dear, Thomas, when the crash happened, I was accused of murdering my husband and brother for the money.” She couldn’t stop the lone tear that made its way down her cheek. “My former, err, what’s the correct term? Whatever in-laws wanted me thrown in jail. I was in a coma and they wanted all the tubes pulled. They wanted to kill me,” she ended in a whisper as she looked at him. “I lost more than just my brother that day, and I’ve never admitted this to anyone, Thomas,” She stared into his eyes, pleading for understanding, “but Andrew and I were on the verge of almost killing each other. We argued every day and I was so very tired of the verbal and other abuse.” She cried then, allowing the tears to fall as they would, “There’s so much I don’t remember which I suppose is a good thing, but the parts I do recall are horrendous.”

“Oh, love,” he spoke tenderly as he gathered her into his arms and onto his lap as he hugged her tenderly. “You really have been through Hell, haven’t you?” He stroked her back as he continued to calm her weary soul. “You made it through all that and I am glad you did. It won’t be a surprise to you when the photographers start up again.”

“I’ll make sure to mind my manners and not pick my nose when we’re out,” she grinned.

Tom laughed in his special way and then began to nuzzle her neck placing soft kisses along her neck and jaw. “Do you have any idea what you are doing to me?” She whispered shakily.

“I’m taking your advice and putting my lips where you aren’t hurt,” he murmured naughtily, “and I’m not using my hands,” he whispered.

“You’re making me breathless, Thomas, that’s what you’re doing. You need to know something.” He paused his motions for only a moment then began again on the other side of her neck. “When I was in the hospital because of the wreck. They had to do several surgeries because I was impaled by glass and metal. It’s not pretty.”

He inhaled her scent as he ghosted a whisper, “I saw some of your scars when you were in the Emergency Room,” he confessed. “I have no idea how you survived that crash or why Larry didn’t kill you, but I’m so very happy that you are here with me.” He shut up because if he kept talking, he would embarrass them both or scare her out of his life.

“I probably shouldn’t tell you this I just want things out in the open. Andrew only wanted one kind of sex. Oral. Performed on him. I haven’t had sexual intercourse since my wedding night. If you could call what he did to me intercourse.”

“What?!” He was more than shocked, and he was sure his expression showed his astonishment. _What the Hell was wrong with her late husband?! She was beautiful! Smart! Funny! Every quality that he had been looking for. Not to mention sexy._ “He didn’t try to make sure you felt pleasure as well?” _How long has it been since she’s made love?_

“No. Never. Rarely did he even kiss me, unless we were in public for a function. I was so very gullible and young when I married him, just past my sixteenth birthday. He provided everything I wanted, clothes, cars, but not much of what I truly needed. He was twenty years older than me.”

Tom was stunned. "You were a child!" He placed her face between his hands, making her look at him, “I promise when I make love to you … and I will, Desai. I’ll make it good for you no matter how long it takes. I want you, please don’t doubt that, but, love, right now I’m afraid I’ll hurt you. Your ribs. Your poor little face,” he softly said as he traced her jawline with his index finger.

“I want you too, Thomas. Right now, I am afraid of being hurt, not just physically, but emotionally,” she whispered. “As the song goes, Larry was just another scar placed on my heart.” She smiled as he rubbed her back. “I think we have a lot in common and have been treated less than civilized in many or most of our relationships. We both have scars on our hearts. Some are just deeper than others.” She moved so that she was straddling him and smiled as he groaned.

“Desai.” It was a warning.

“I don’t want you to stop touching me.” She proved it when she removed her shirt. “Here I am scars and all.” _To Hell with taking things slow, no one was promised tomorrow. I wanted this man in every way … in my heart, soul, and body._

“Desai ...”

“I’m not a China doll, Thomas. I won’t break. I trust you. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be doing this.” She leaned forward then began nuzzling his neck and whispering in his ear, “Don’t you want to make love to me?”

“Of course, I do,” he murmured as he burrowed his face in her neck. “Cannot you not feel my arousal?” _So much for taking things slow! He ached to be inside her, thrusting as she came undone around him._

“Is that what that is?” She asked with a grin. “I thought it was a forty-five or maybe even a fifty caliber.”

She squeaked as he flipped her off his lap and onto her back, and with a lusty rustic voice, he stated, “Darling, I’m going to write you a love letter.”

“Really, Thomas?” She smiled, “How sweet.”

“Yes, love.” He stared her down with those intense blue eyes. “With my tongue.”

She stared openmouthed in astonishment at the expression on Tom’s face. He was serious and proved it as he began to place soft feathery open-mouthed kisses and licks along her jawline. Cheek. Forehead. Nose. Then down her neck and across the tops of her breasts. He was careful of the still-healing ribs as he ghosted kisses and licks across her bare skin. She moaned feeling the smile on his lips as he ever so slowly made his way back to her face.

It seemed to Desai he was kissing her everywhere and she loved what he was doing but she wanted to feel his lips, his mouth on hers. Then he nuzzled her neck and placed kisses and soft licks at her ear. Then he kissed her. Barely.

Tom moved his head so that he was staring at her, “Put your legs around me,” he commanded softly as he shifted his weight to his elbows and forearms. “I have to tell you something, love.”

“What’s that?” She asked breathlessly.

“Your kisses leave something to be desired.”

She was devastated for a second until he added, “The rest of you.”

“You’re a rat!” she laughed.

“If I’m a rat then you my dear are my cheese and I plan to taste you from head to toe.” He began kissing her in earnest on her lips. “Does that hurt, darling?”

She shook her head, too breathless to answer.

“Good,” he said against her mouth as he tenderly kissed her lips. He enveloped her in his long strong arms drawing her into his body, flush with his throbbing erection. She moaned, he stopped and looked into her eyes, “Does that hurt? Am I scaring you?” he asked in a sigh against her mouth.

She shook her head, “I could never be afraid of you.”

“Good,” the timbre of his voice was filled with emotion and Desai felt as if she were an instrument for his pleasure alone. He deepened the kiss, taking her to heights she had never dreamed of. She moaned into his mouth as his tongue gently invaded. She suckled it feeling his moan as it left his mouth and entered hers.

Desai invaded his mouth and oh the gods the sensation of his tongue sliding against hers, being suckled made her buck against him. They were both breathless as they reluctantly parted and gazed at each other.

“My God you are the best,” she gasped. “I’ve never felt anything like that in my life.”

“Neither have I.” He paused for a moment realizing it was true. _No other woman had made him feel like this_. “That was intense,” he said as he gazed into her eyes.

“Will you spend the night with me?” She blurted then immediately felt the heat on her face and exposed skin as her body betrayed her with color.

“I will on one condition.” He shook his head, “I can’t believe I’m saying this. No sex. I just want to hold you next to me all night long.” Tom smiled broadly at her dumbfounded expression, “Look at me. Wait a second I think there’s something in your eye,” he smirked and said, “Oh it’s just a sparkle.”

She giggled, “You’re too sweet for your own good.”

He grinned at her, “I’m not nearly as sweet as you think I am. I crave you, Desai,” he admitted as he murmured against her neck. “I want to taste all of you from head to toe everything in between and back again.”

She knew she was as red as an overripe tomato as she whispered, “Thou art beautiful, Thomas Hiddleston.”

“Oh, no, you are the beautiful one, Desai Alexander,” he said as he gently pulled her closer. “Now, where were we?” he asked as he nuzzled her neck and ear. Suddenly something started to vibrate.

He groaned a little as he extracted himself from her arms and those luscious lips. “I have to go and get Bobby, but I’ll be back love. Is it all right if I bring him back with me?”

“Of course, it is. Is he alright? Is there anything wrong?”

“No,” he reassured her. “He’s just a little overdue for me to pick him up at the groomer.”

Desai tilted her head up and kissed him again. “I really like how you kiss.”

He had to leave or else he would be here all night long. “I’ll be back in less than an hour.”

True to his word he was back within forty-five minutes and with him was an adorable solid brown Cocker Spaniel. “Ohhh, aren’t you a cutie!” Bobby ran straight to Desai and landed on the sofa beside her. “You’re so soft. I bet you’re a snuggle bunny, huh?”

She petted him then quoted a poem about dogs, “As long as forever I will stay by your side. I’ll be your companion, your friend, and your guide. As long as I live and as long as you care I’ll do anything for you, I’ll go anywhere. I’ll bring you the sunshine, I’ll comfort your fears, I’ll gather up rainbows to chase all your tears. As long as forever my heart will be true for as long as I live, I’ll always love you.”

“And she quotes poetry.”

“I also love Shakespeare.”

“Oh, be still my heart,” Tom said with a grin.

She stood and faced him as she quoted Shakespeare’s Sonnet 18, caressing his cheek and jawline, “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate: Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, And summer’s lease hath all too short a date; Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines, And often is his gold complexion dimm'd; And every fair from fair sometime declines, By chance or nature’s changing course untrimm'd; But thy eternal summer shall not fade, Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow’st; Nor shall death brag thou wander’st in his shade, When in eternal lines to time thou grow’st: So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.” She grinned, “Suits you to a T. Thou art beautiful, Thomas Hiddleston.”

“The same could be said for you, Desai Alexander. You are a rarity, not – have you been trained on how Shakespeare should be spoken?”

“No. Why?”

“There’s a rhythm, you have that rhythm.”

“I hope that’s a good thing and I also hope Bobby doesn’t mind sharing you.”

“He’s a cuddle bunny as you said, and he loves attention. And yes, it’s a good thing.”

“Did you bring him food?”

“Enough for a sleep-over.”

“I was going to tell you that there is plenty in the garage and all different kinds. I took the liberty of picking out some of my favorite movies. I hope you like ‘em.”

Tom couldn’t help but smile. The original _Ghostbusters, Jurassic Park_ , the first three _Star Wars_ movies, the original _Jungle Book_ from 1967, _Raiders of the Lost Ark,_ and _Heat._

She eyed him as he looked over the titles, “If you don’t like those, I have a huge selection you’re bound to find something that you like.”

“Oh, no, love, these are fine and are a few of my favorites too.” He looked around, “I don’t see your telly.”

“It’s not in here and there’s a room designated for movies only.”

He followed her through the huge house until they came to a large room, not unlike that of a cinema. There were comfortable overstuffed chairs with drink holders and the smell of popcorn wafted throughout the room. “Wow.”

“I hope you like popcorn. I can’t watch a movie without it.”

“Me either unless pizza is available. I can never turn down pizza.”

“This was the last CEO’s house. One of many actually. It came to me along with all the other properties. And each one is huge. I love it here though; I have enough room to breathe. To do what I want. I could run through here stark ass naked and no one would be the wiser.”

“Well, I might be.” He laughed at her coloring cheeks. “I love that you are still able to blush. It’s adorable,” he said as he traced her cheek with his thumb. He then acted as if the place was crowded, “Pardon me. Oh, dear did I step on your foot?”

Desai followed suit, “Hey! Keep your paws off my draw’s.”

They sounded and acted like recalcitrant children. Very happy recalcitrant children and Bobby was on their heels playfully woo-wooing and eating the dropped kernels of popcorn from their bucket.

Desai made it through _Raiders_ and was somewhere in the middle of _Star Wars: A New Hope_ , when the warmth of Tom’s arm, the scent of his cologne, his voice as he whispered lines along to the movie and the non-rest of eight and a half days of hospital stay caught up with her.

Tom turned his head as he heard a soft snore and smiled. Desai was curled up under his arm with her hand entwined with his and her other arm draped across his leg. He knew a lost cause when he saw one. He gathered her up like a new bride and carried her, careful not to wake her, as he sought her bedroom.

Second door on the left just past the kitchen he remembered her saying earlier. He stopped in the doorway. That was the biggest bed he had ever laid his eyes on. The décor was more suited to a man but somehow it fit Desai too. The various blue and brown tones fit well together as did the large four-poster with its wooden columns. The bed dominated the room which was saying a lot since the room itself was huge. Sitting squarely in the center it allowed the sliding glass doors on two sides to offer cool breezes in the warmer months plus nice views of the flower gardens. He smiled those would be beautiful come summer.

He gently placed her on the bed. Bobby didn’t care if he woke her or not, he deftly jumped up onto the bed and began his nightly ritual of bedding down. Tom grinned at this as he watched his dog make his bed at the foot. “Good boy,” he whispered and gave him a scratch.

Tom sat on the other side of the bed stripping down to his boxers, then moved until he was lying next to Desai, pulling the coverlet over the both of them he nestled into her pillows tucking her body into his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to get used to this as I go along.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, they make love! And thanks to whoever wrote Loki's Dirty Whispers and Tom's Hello Darling's -- They gave me inspiration and ideas and yes I used them.

A scream, unlike anything Tom had ever heard suddenly pierced his sleep. Moving quickly, he stared wide-eyed at Desai as she fought and kicked, screaming, “Stop! Please don’t hurt me anymore! Nooo!”

Her legs pumped as if she was running but was moving her nowhere. “Please! NOOO!”

Bobby jumped from the bed and stood whining, Tom quickly reassured his best buddy that everything was okay, and the dog quieted but was not coming close to the bed.

“Desai,” Tom shook her. “Wake up!” he demanded as he shook her harder. She screamed again as she continued thrashing and mewling in pain begging some unseen attacker to stop. “Desai!” He grasped her arms and pulled her tightly against him. “Shhh,” he murmured softly into her ear. “It’s me, love. You’re safe. It’s just a bad dream. I’m here.”

She clung to him once she realized she was not in danger. “I’m so sorry,” she cried as she shivered. “I didn’t mean – I should have told you I have night terrors.”

“Shhh, it’s all right my love. Tell me what bothers your sleep?” he asked softly as he held her. She was soaked with sweat and he could smell the fear.

“Him. It’s always him. He always finds me, no matter where I hide, and … and … he always hurts me.”

“Who? Who hurt you?” he asked urgently. She looked away until Tom gently turned her to face him, “Please, tell me. You can trust me, Desai.”

Tears ran down her face as she wept. “I – I – was raped when I was a little girl. He always comes back in my dreams,” she said raggedly as she gasped for breath.

“Who was it?” he asked again as he caressed her face; he wanted, needed to know. He knew he couldn’t chase it away, her trauma was soul-deep, but by knowing she would know he cared about what had happened to her.

“My cousin, Tucker Lindsey. He was nineteen and I was five,” she looked into Thomas’ eyes pleadingly, “He didn’t just rape me, Thomas,” she said in a whisper. “He sodomized me too.” She hung her head. “I had to have surgery to repair the damage. I told you about – my wedding night and Andrew,” she murmured. She continued to shake but knew she was safe and sound as long as she was in Thomas’ arms. He wouldn’t allow any harm to come to her.

He held her until her breathing had calmed then he moved from the bed.

“Where are you going?” she asked, doing her best to keep the fear from her voice as she reached for him.

“I’m going to draw you a bath,” he said lovingly. “I’ll be right back.” He kissed her deeply before he whispered, “No one will ever hurt you again while I’m with you. I promise you that.” He caressed her cheek, “Now, I want you to think of something nice.”

Desai watched as Bobby came closer but slowly. “Oh! I scared you. Sweetie, I’m so, so, sorry, Bobby.” She patted the bed, “C’mon, you little chocolate fur-ball. C’mon, it’s okay.” She giggled as he leaped and then began his assault.

Tom stood watching from the bathroom doorway, grinning from ear-to-ear while listening as the huge copper tub filled with water. He braced his shoulder against the jamb, arms across his chest, legs crossed at the ankles, as the woman he was falling in love with, _no I’m already in love with her,_ was being attacked by Bobby. Her giggles made him smile and God knew she deserved all the happiness life could offer. He turned back to the tub adding some rose-scented bath oil just before he turned the water off.

Walking back to the bedroom he smiled at them, “Who won?”

Bobby, ever silent wagged his tail furiously as Desai pointed to him. “He’s quick.”

Tom nodded, “Princess, your bath awaits.” When she made to get up, “No, love. Let your humble servant take care of you tonight.”

“Thomas, I – can bathe –”

He placed a finger to her lips. “Listen to me please and hear me well. I do not care one iota about your scars either real or imagined. I’m giving you a bath,” he wiggled his eyebrows. “Now, we can do this the easy way, or I simply toss you over my shoulder and place you fully clothed into the water.”

Desai wasn’t sure if he was joking or not, so she simply nodded her acquiescence and wrapped her arms around his neck when he lifted her from the bed. “I suppose if I’m a princess then you must be the prince. You are charming.” She smiled as his cheeks colored a bit. “Prince Thomas does have a nice sound to it. There already is a Prince William and he’s spoken for.”

Tom made a sound that was between a growl and a choke. “As much as I love my country, I would renounce my title if I had to live like that. Way too many rules for me.”

He set her on her feet as he searched her eyes, “Do you want me to join you?” He had not intended to ask that, it just came out. “Just to give you a bath. I’ll keep my box —”

She silenced him with a finger. “No. If you get in there with me – I want you as naked as the day you were born.” She blushed; it seemed to her she was doing a lot of that lately, especially when she was around him. “Yes, Thomas, I want you with me,” she whispered so low she didn’t think he’d heard her at first. She began to recite a poem by Tyler Knott Gregson, _“Come here and take off your clothes and with them every single worry you have ever carried. My fingertips on your back will be the very last thing you will feel before sleeping and the sound of my smile will be the alarm clock to your morning ears. Come here and take off your clothes and with them the weight of every yesterday that snuck atop your shoulders and declared them home. My whispers will be the soundtrack to your secret dreams and my hand the anchor to the life you will open your eyes to. Come here and take off your clothes.”_

Tom smiled at the poem then placed his hands atop hers, “Desai, I’m not saying no to you, you are a beautiful woman and there is no doubt that I want you, but are you sure about this?”

She nodded. “I am. Are you?”

“Never surer of anything I’ve done,” he said sincerely. “Over the past few days I’ve come to know a wonderful woman who cares more for those around her than she does for herself. The only woman who I can say the same about is my mother.” _Who loves you as much as I do._ He tucked a stray curl behind her ear. “I know we haven’t known each other for a long time, and I know we said we’d take it slow. Maybe – no I know – I’m rushing things. If I go too fast – tell me to slow down. The last thing I want is to make you bolt, but I cannot help how much I want you.” _Or how much I love you. I’ve never felt this way and it’s scaring the hell out of me!_

She tugged his shoulders pulling him closer as she gazed up into his eyes, “I’ll tell you when I need you to do something. Including slowing down or otherwise.”

“Oh, I do like the sound of that,” he smiled playfully his voice deep and low.

“And you don’t have to worry about me bolting, Thomas. I’ll never run unless it’s every morning and it won’t be from you, but I bet I could beat you.”

“We’ll see about that,” he said as he pulled her tee-shirt over her head then deftly removed her bra. “Glorious,” he sighed as he took her breasts into his hands. “I’ve dreamt about doing this,” he whispered as he ghosted his thumbs across her nipples. He smiled as she moaned and arched into his hands. Tilting his head down he kissed her as he caressed her back and shoulders letting his hands wander down to the fastening of her jeans.

Desai leaned away and met his eyes as he undid her jeans and allowed them to drop to the floor when she stepped out of them he then knelt and pulled her panties off.

Never losing eye contact she asked, “Are you going to join me or are we going to stand here and let the water get cold?” She susurrated and smiled placing her hands over his as he stood and placed his hands on her breasts. “I think I can do this sex thing.”

“I’m ready to give you a refresher course in the art of lovemaking because this is and never will be just sex. Not between us,” he kissed her again as he gathered her up and slowly placed her in the water. “Is it cold?” he asked as he noticed her nipples become hard and erect.

“No. It’s perfect. Are you sure you don’t mind smelling like roses?”

He smiled at her, “Maybe I should have used sandalwood, but I can do that another time.”

Desai eyed him and very nearly gaped at his semi-engorged member when he removed his boxers and joined her, sliding effortlessly behind her. He wanted to take this slow and easy, but from the way his body was reacting … he wasn’t so sure. He lifted her hair and using a hair tie he deftly put it in a loose bun. Tom took the soap she passed him, and he began to gently but firmly wash and massage her back.

Desai looked over her shoulder at him, “Thomas, there are places on my back that have no feeling in them. My right breast, where it’s scarred so badly, stays numb. There was a lot of nerve damage from the wreck.”

“If I touch you somewhere or in some way that bothers you or that you don’t like please tell me,” he said softly as he pulled her back into his chest.

She nodded. “I’ve never … This is a first for me… I could get used to this,” she whispered as she relaxed. _Please don’t break my heart._

“I’ll never treat you as if you do not matter. You matter a great deal to me, Desai.” _I hope that I can show you how I feel and that you understand that I cannot say I love you at least not yet._

“As you do to me, Thomas.” She relaxed as his fingers massaged away what felt like months of aches and pains, “Ahh, that feels so good,” she murmured as she moved her fingers up and down his thighs. Her body arched as he began to gently wash her front and play with her nipples all the while nibbling at her neck and shoulders; all she could manage, as his right hand moved down between her legs, was a drawn-out moan.

“Open your legs for me, love,” he commanded softly, as she did his fingers found her clit _and_ began to ever so gently caress it. He seemed to know what her body needed more than she did.

She moaned his name as he easily brought her to a climax and as it crashed over her another was cresting, she bucked against his fingers as he inserted one then another into her slick folds.

“Oh, you are so tight,” he susurrated against her neck, the timbre of his voice was all it took for her to cum again as he pumped his fingers in and out with a slow and steady rhythm and with each thrust his thumb grazed her clit causing exquisite pleasure.

“Make love to me,” she whispered with a ragged breath as she rolled over on her side to face him. “Please, Thomas,” she begged. “Make love to me. I want to feel you against me. Inside me. I want to kiss you all over. I want to taste you from head to toe.”

Desai felt movement as he wrapped her in his arms then kissing her deeply neither caring as the water sloshed. Then she was being lifted and carried while he was still kissing her to the bedroom. He lay her down gently. She had never felt like this or been treated like this. “Thomas?”

“Yes, love?” he gazed into her eyes.

“You’re not going to regret this are you?” she whispered softly.

Caressing her face moving a strand of hair behind her ear, he quietly spoke, “No, love. Savoring these moments with you is what I’ll be doing.” He paused for a moment as he joined her in the bed. “You’re beautiful. These scars are a sign of your strength and they do not take away from your beauty, they enhance it. A scar is proof that you were stronger than what tried to hurt you.”

He filled his hands with her breasts and lovingly rubbed both nipples between his fingers. She moaned throwing her head back, arching into his touch as she murmured his name. When he took a nipple into his mouth she cried out as a shudder wracked her body, “Oh my God! Don’t stop, Thomas! Oh God please don’t stop!” She was grasping his shoulders pulling him closer and when he began to kiss his way to her waist she glanced down. He was staring at her with a smile on his face. “Thomas?”

“Oh, how I’ve imagined doing this,” he murmured against her skin. “Let me show you pleasure, darling. I want to taste you, feel you as you cum against my mouth and lips. I want to lick your essence as it flows from your body. Then I’m going to take you. Slowly. Gently. Softly. I will claim you. Swiftly. Thoroughly. So much that you will cry out for more. Your gentle whispers of my name shall become ragged screams which shall only serve to spur me on,” he said using his Loki voice.

He was fully erect now and he guessed the emotion on her face as he said, “Do not fear me, love. Do you have any idea how much I crave this? Crave you? The taste of you? The feel of you? I promise if it hurts in any way I’ll stop.”

“I know you won’t hurt me. Not on purpose. Love me, Thomas. Make love to me.”

“My precious lady. I intend to give you pleasure like you’ve never felt before.” He made his point by gently using his fingers and thumb again. Smiling as she tossed her head and called out his name. “Desai, look at me.” When she did he said in a lust-filled voice, “I want you to know that I’m going to kiss your neck, bite you, pull your hair, use my tongue, make you scream, and I am not going to stop until you are shaking. Do you understand?”

“I – yes,” she whispered in awe.

When he lowered his head to the junction of her thighs he began to suckle softly on the nub of nerves. He moaned as she bucked and called out at times incoherently.

She screamed his name as the third or was it the fourth, climax of the night crashed over her.

Still he didn’t stop. He continued to lap at her slick tender folds flattening his tongue so that he was touching as much of her quivering flesh as possible.

As another climax hit her all she had strength for was to lay limp and moan as he continued to taste and suck at her clit. “Ahhh! God that feels so good!” she squealed as he slipped a long finger inside her then another.

She gazed down at him. “I want you, Thomas. I want you inside me. Now. Please, don’t make me beg.”

Secretly he loved hearing her beg for him, he smiled at her, “Not yet. I want you dripping wet and glistening as I slide into you.” Desai moaned as the deep timbre of his voice crashed against her most sensitive spot and he smiled.

He positioned himself above her at her entrance as he worked his fingers to bring her another release. Just as she came, he pinned her hands above her head and ever so slowly pushed his engorged cock into her. He could feel the searing heat of her on his eager cock and as her pelvic muscles tightened around him, he thought he would lose his control. Damn, she was so trusting something unusual this day and time and goddamn was she tight.

Desai winced a little as he entered her, he was big and it had been ten years since Andrew had … _don’t think about him. He has no place here!_

Tom moved to smooth her hair back from her face allowing her body to adjust to his size. “You’re beautiful, my sweet,” he then kissed her slowly, deeply, and firmly. He gazed at her face as he withdrew a little then pushed back inside her. “Did I hurt you?” he asked worriedly.

“Only a little, you’re – big.” She smiled. “It doesn’t hurt now, Thomas.” Desai gazed into his eyes and kissed him, surprised as he looked into her eyes and began to rock his lower body gently, in, up, and out, over, and over.

Tom smiled at the expression of wonder and ecstasy on Desai’s face, “That’s it, love, meet me, thrust for thrust. Oh, yes,” he whispered as he released her hands and she immediately grabbed his shoulders digging her fingers in as she pulled him flush against her then further down as she grabbed his ass. “Touch me, don’t be afraid,” he commanded.

She was lost in his eyes; they were a darker shade now. Filled with passion? Lust? Love? She didn’t know and she didn’t care she was in a world where she had never been, and she was enjoying every moment. When he began to circle his hips, she cried out his name on a ragged breath. She caressed his sides, shoulders, and up to his neck and face, all the while murmuring his name.

Lowering his head, he sought and found a nipple as his free hand found the other nipple, he began to lap at the hardened nub flicking his tongue across the sensitive kernel. He smiled as she cried out his name arching into him and pulling at his ass. When she arched again, he lifted her, “Wrap your legs around me,” when she did so, “that’s it, love. Move those glorious hips. Fuck me. Say it, Desai. I want to hear that dirty word come out of that beautiful mouth.”

“Fuck me.”

“Louder,” he commanded as he ground into her and she ground back.

“Oh! Fuck me! Oh my god, Thomas, fuck me!”

Tom smiled, she was a great student and he intended to teach her well. Her pliant body was like a sculptor’s dream and ripe for the taking. He fully intended to relish these moments with her.

She was surprised when he covered her mouth with his, moaning as he offered his tongue and she took it greedily. When he moaned, she felt as if she had all the power in the world. She broke the kiss, “Thomas. Faster.”

Tom smiled, _what a quick learner._ “Not yet, darling. I want to make this last.”

She whimpered, she was so very close, “I want – need to cum.”

“And you will, love. Delayed gratification is often the best kind,” he whispered and then kissed her again moving so that he hit her G-spot, once he felt it, he began to make his cock throb against it. When her climax hit her, he thought she would bend in half.

“Oh, Thomas!” She screamed out his name and then screamed as another climax gripped her, her head thrashed from side to side. “God you feel so fucking good!” Involuntarily her inner muscles clutched his cock.

Tom threw his head back, “Oh fuck! Your cunt … God that feels so fucking good! Don’t stop!” He was getting close to the edge, but he wanted to feel her cum around him once more. Moving his hand down between them he easily found her swollen and throbbing clit and began to swirl his finger around it then taking it between his finger and thumb slowly rubbing his thumb over it.

He found her lips once more and his body began to not so gently rock and move in tandem with his tongue and she moaned into his mouth as her body moved of its own need. When he pulled his mouth away, she whimpered his name until his lips found a nipple. When he looked up he gently commanded, “Look at me, Desai. I want to feel you cum around my cock. I want to see your release in your eyes. Desai, I will stop unless you look at me.”

Her eyes flew open, “Oh, please don’t you dare stop!”

“That’s it, my sweet,” he whispered as he gazed into her face wrapping a hand around the back of her neck his fingers cradling her head. “Look at me. I want to see that beautiful face when you cum; when I cum inside you. When you cum for me.” Tom grabbed her leg lifting her and thrusting deeper, “When you cum for only me.”

“Only you,” she gasped out as she met his thrusts.

“Cum for me, Desai. Cum my darling pet,” his Loki voice demanded.

As if on command she felt it coming closer and she struggled to keep her eyes focused on his as he took command of her body and soul. “Thommmas,” she keened keeping rhythm with his thrusts.

“Say it. I want to hear you.”

She felt like a dam had burst as she writhed below his body, bucking wildly in rhythm with him. “Oh, God! I – I’m –I’m cumming! I’m cumming!” She kept her eyes focused on him even though all she wanted to do was lay back and let him have his way. She couldn’t help what happened next; her pelvic muscles seemed to have a mind of their own as they clutched at his cock again and again as if they were milking him. And she screamed in ecstasy.

His eyes and mouth opened wide, “Oh, god! I can’t wait. I’m cumming!” he cried out as he quickened his movements she felt him swell stretching her further as his seed spilled into her. Resting on his forearms he gently lay his forehead against hers as he said, “Desai, are you o –”

“I’m fine, Thomas… better than fine,” she smiled as she gave him a kiss. When he started to move, she asked, “Where are you going? Please, stay where you are.”

“Love, I’m too heavy.”

“I like how you feel inside and out.”

“You are so unique, my sweet. So different,” he murmured as he caressed her face. The other women he had been with only wanted him to move over and cuddle, but Desai wanted him to remain where he was; even as his cock began to shrink, he could still feel her slick walls clutch at him. He began to place feather-light kisses across her face, “I said I would hold you all night and I meant it,” he said as he untangled her legs moving so that he was beside her holding her close and kissing her forehead.

She turned her head and kissed him, “Before I met you, I never knew what it was like to be able to look at someone and smile for no reason,” she whispered. “Since you’ve been around I smile a lot more than I use to.” She grinned at him as she stifled a yawn.

“Sleepy?” he murmured as she smiled and nodded pulling her fully against him, he watched as her eyelids slowly closed and sleep overtook her. He lightly traced his finger down the center of her chest watching as her nipples hardened smiling as she whispered his name.

It was still dark out when Desai awoke a couple of hours later and carefully disentangled herself from Thomas’ arms then softly padded to the bathroom. Quietly she closed the door and stepped into the shower.

She smiled as she heard the door open, then turned to face Thomas as he stepped inside only to be pulled close and kissed deeply. “Make love to me again,” she whispered against his neck as she bent her head slightly to suckle his nipple. His sharp intake of breath was enough to let her know that he enjoyed it as much as she did.

“Here? Now? Desai, I got a little rough with you. As much as it might make me smile knowing I’m the cause of you walking funny. I --”

She placed a finger on his lips to silence him and smiled at the surprise on his face as she said, “I don’t care if I can’t walk straight for a week. I want you buried to the hilt inside me. Again.” She traced a finger from his semi-erection to his chin and around to his ear, “I know you’ve had more experience at this than me, but the way I look at it you are the only man to have ever made love to me. I really do want to learn everything from you. I trust you, Thomas.” She leaned up and licked the shell of his ear, “Now we can do this in or out of the shower. I’m soaking in more ways than one, baby.”

He turned the water off and backed them up out of the shower.

He lifted her easily and as he did so, “I’ve created a monster,” he said with a light laugh. “Grab my shoulders, put your arms around my neck. Jump up. That’s it. Wrap your legs around me, Desai,” he instructed, “And look in the mirror, not at me. The mirror.”

She watched his pupils dilate further as he lifted her. He maneuvered her so that her entrance was just above his now fully erect engorged shaft. She then turned her head to watch as he lowered her onto that bulging strutting member. She couldn’t help but throw her head back as he filled her. She clung to him as he pushed her against the wall, and she moaned at the feel of him buried inside her.

“I was going to wait to do this, but you insisted,” he moaned against her ear as he began to thrust and he placed a not so gentle bite at the junction of her neck and shoulder. Smiling to himself as she gasped then moaned his name. He loved the way she sounded. There was something so erotic about it.

Desai watched as his ass moved up and down and around in circles. She wasn’t sure what sound she was making but she smiled when Tom said, “Oh how I love to make you purr, kitten.”

She lightly bit his ear just hard enough to get his attention. “I really have created a monster,” he murmured in a smoky-smooth voice that was both rustic and full of lust. When she lowered her head, she grazed along his collarbone with her teeth, scraping her nails across his chest and nipple, then lightly pinching it, there was an animalistic sound that came from deep in his chest. His eyes, when they looked at her were fully dilated and glassy, almost as if he were feverish.

She half-moaned, as his thrusts slowed and became intense but determined, “Oh my love. Yesss!” She dug her fingers into his shoulders then his hair pulling him in for a kiss, ghosting kisses across his lips as he tried to gain full control of them. She laughed until he grasped her hair and pulled her to face him fully.

“Love, there can only be one dominant in a relationship … at a time. You better tell me your safe word because the ideas I have going through my mind right now …”

“Please.”

“What?” he became stock still buried inside her.

“Please. That’s my safe word,” she whispered as she ground her pelvis against his. She wanted more. “When did my body learn to become a slut?” she didn’t realize the words were being said, “My god I want you inside me all day!”

“We’ll see how you feel about that,” he growled and bit her neck at the sweetest spot.

“Oh! Ahhh!”

He grated his teeth along her collarbone then back up. “I have to cum, but first…” He moved a hand in between them and gripped her clit between his fingers and positioned his dick so that it throbbed against a sweet spot. “Cum for me. I know you need to. Don’t make me do this without you. Tell me what you want!” he demanded in a growl.

“Press just a little harder with your thumb.” She made an inarticulate sound and arched against him. “Oh, yes. Right there!”

He let her ride him into oblivion and he nearly lost it when she squirted all over him. “You give a whole new meaning to the word gushing my sweetling.” He gripped her ass tightly and in his deepest voice he murmured, “Let’s see if we can do that again, shall we.”

Desai was limp in his arms, “No! I can’t. I’m...”

He growled hot and low as he moved his head from her breast where he had been nibbling lightly and fisted a handful of hair so that she faced him, “You’re what? Tired? Sated? Did you not know that satisfaction is not in my nature? Loki and I have a few things in common. Oh pet,” he said as he looked into her green eyes, “Yes you can cum again and yes you will,” he said lowly. “Did you not know that from the moment I laid my eyes on you I knew I had to have you,” he said in a sexy whispered growl, thrusting in circles making sure he hit all her sweet spots. “On the bed. Check,” he gave a hard thrust.

“Yes, Thomas!”

“On the floor. That will happen. Against the wall. Check,” a double thrust, harder this time.

“Fuck me, Thomas!”

He rumbled lowly into her ear, “Kneeling, oh I cannot wait for that. Your ass in the air as I spank you,” he smiled to himself as she squirted again, he began in earnest with his thrusts.

“Oooohhhhh, Thomaaaasssss!”

“Bending.” Thrust. “Sweating, and trembling.” Double thrust. “I’m going to fuck you until you are incoherent, limp, and spent and I along with you.”

He couldn’t help but laugh a little evil laugh as he added, “I just might play with that beautiful little clit of yours all day. You taste so good.” He began short, fast strokes and soon he was awarded with her release and his soon followed. He couldn’t remember the last time that he had felt this sated, while he still had the strength he carried her to the bed and lay them down, both spent.

Although she could barely move, she smiled at Tom as she whispered and caressed his cheek, “To see him every hour; to sit and draw his arched brows, his hawking eye, his curls, in our heart's table; heart too capable of every line and trick of his sweet favour.” 

“And bugger me she is quoting Shakespeare again,” he murmured pulling her closer falling asleep entangled in a mass of limbs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm getting better at posting. At this time I am working on Chapter Five. Please hang in there it's coming.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of a little rough sex.

Tom awoke slowly unsure at first where he was, then it all came back in a rush and he smiled broadly as he looked down at the woman sleeping peacefully in his arms, although she would whisper his name every once in a while. He tucked some of her hair behind her ear and as he did he saw the marks on her neck. Then he looked lower.

He gasped.

There were large bruises, his huge handprints, bite marks, and small love bites from her neck down to her knees. And he had put them there, _he had put them there!_ “Oh, God! What have I done?! No!” he cried out. He groaned loudly as he covered his face in his hands. “Oh, my God! Nooo!”

Desai awoke to Tom’s groans. _Of pain?_ She moved her head in the direction of his voice. “Thomas? Are you alright?” she asked softly as he turned his head away from her. “Thomas?”

“I’m fine,” he said harshly as he quickly moved from the bed not daring to look at Desai. “Why in all that’s holy did you allow me to do that?!” he screamed angrily as he motioned to her body.

She felt as if she had been punched in the gut as the air left her lungs. She slowly pulled the covers over her as she watched him gather his clothes quickly and efficiently from the floor then head for the bathroom. _He’d had practice gathering his things quickly,_ she noticed as she turned away grabbing the pillow he had slept on and holding it tight against her as she began to cry. _So much for no regrets._ “I’m sorry,” she cried. “I’m sorry, Thomas. I’m sorry I was …” she let her voice trail off as her body was wracked with sobs.

He heard her cries. “What in the bloody hell have you done to be sorry about?!” he yelled from the doorway of her bathroom. He hated himself for what he had done to her because he just couldn’t rein in his animalistic side at times. Damn him and Loki!

She cringed at the anger in his voice, curling into a fetal position, “I’m just another regret. I always have been,” she sniffled between sobs as she cried and buried her face in his pillow, and it would always be his. Just as she would. No one else would ever touch her. “I asked you if you would regret it, you said you were sure you wouldn’t. You said you were sure,” she whispered raggedly as she wept.

He froze. Staring at his reflection in the mirror, he thought, _you idiot! Of course, she’s going to think that! She hasn’t seen what you did to her!_ He finished pulling up his boxers and rushed to her side gathering her gently into his arms, “Shhh, my love. Shhh. You have not done anything wrong. I am the one who should be stoned for what I have done to you.”

She looked at him through tears of confusion. “Whaaaat are you talking about?” she sputtered in confusion.

He threw the covers off her and carefully picked her up so that she was standing in front of him facing away and toward her full-length mirror. He pointed to her reflection, “That’s what I did! To you! To a sweet wonderful woman who never deserved to be treated like an animal!” He raked agitated fingers through his disheveled hair. “How can you even stand to look at me?! Don’t look at me! Look at me!”

She understood his anger then as she quirked a brow at him, moving her eyes from the mirror to herself then back to him, “Well, which is it? To look or not to look? That seems to be the question.”

“Desai, this is not funny,” he said seriously as he stared at her bruised body. _He still couldn’t believe he’d done that; he couldn’t believe her! She wasn’t the least bit worried about how she looked or what he had done!_

“I don’t remember saying it was, but I’m not worried about me. These shall fade. In a few days’ time they’ll be gone completely with only a sweet memory left to remind me of what caused them in the first place.” She turned to face him, drawing a line along his jaw, she said, “No, it’s you I am concerned about. Are you regretting what happened between us?”

Tom opened his mouth. Closed it. Opened it. Closed it. _That sounded like a loaded question, but she appeared so sincere. Still …_ _If I say no it’s as if I don’t care that she’s bruised. If I say yes that makes her feel …_

“Are you having a problem breathing?” Desai asked as a smile played across her lips. He could get as flustered as anyone else she realized.

“This is not funny!”

Desai smiled as Tom used that frustrated Loki voice. _How could he be even more adorable when he was flustered?_ “I never said it was,” she began calmly. “However, I’m not the one who is having a conniption fit over –”

“I am **_NOT_** having a conniption fit! I am concerned about you! And you care not that I am!” _Could she not see that this was serious?! What would people think of her?! Of him?! How could he explain to his mother about those bruises? Shit! He’d forgotten to mention that his mum was going to visit Desai today._

And there was the angry voice of Mr. Thomas _‘I keep it cool at all times’_ Hiddleston. “Oh, I care a great deal about you, Thomas,” she said lowly and slowly as a bit of anger seeped in.

That tone sent a shiver through him, it was both sexy and scary at the same time. He dared a glance at her and noticed that her eyes had become darker, the gold flecks less prominent and more than a blush colored her cheeks. _Was she angry? At him? Well, good god man have you looked at what you did?!_ _Thomas William Hiddleston you are such an idiot!_

“More than maybe you would like,” she finished with emotion choking her voice and turning away from him before the tears started to flow, searching for her kimono then putting it on. “Is that what’s really bothering you? That maybe I care a bit too much?” She was hurt and angry as she whirled on him belting the garment as she did so, “That we went too far … too fast?”

That made him mad. “Wha – whoa you said you wanted –”

She nodded at him, trying to keep the anger, and hurt from her voice, “That’s right. I did want it and there’s not a moment of last night and this morning that I regret, but what about you? Do you regret it?” she asked lowly as she pointed to the bed, noticing a pink tinge of blood on the sheet. “That meant something to me,” she choked on the next words, “Am I wrong that it also meant something to you?”

“No.”

“No, what, Thomas?”

“No. I do not regret it. And no, you are not mistaken, Desai,” he said in a whisper as he held his head in his hands as tears flowed from his eyes. “I bruised you. I feel like a low life sonofab --”

“Don’t you dare call yourself a bad name,” she warned as she caressed his face, “Thomas, you had no idea how easily I bruise right now, and neither did I. It’s probably from the blood thinner they gave me to prevent blood clots. I’ve never bruised easily before.”

“Well, in your defense you’ve never been –” his face was as red as a beet.

“No, you are right about that – no one has ever made love to me,” she laughed at his embarrassment. “And I can think of no one else but you that I want to do it with again.” She sighed and met his eyes. “Don’t torture yourself, Thomas. It’ll do neither of us any good darlin’.”

The way she said his name, the forgiving way she spoke, and the admonishment she gave him, he had to wonder if she was really real or a figment of his imagination maybe even an angel fallen from Heaven.

“I’m going to take a shower,” she grinned and gave him a light kiss, “You’re more than welcome to join me. Then, if you wouldn’t mind, while I make breakfast for us, change the bed linen.” She couldn’t keep the smile from her face as he just stood there with his mouth open. “You don’t know how to change sheets?” She was guessing he had a maid or housekeeper to do that sort of thing for him. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll get it.”

“Are you real?” he asked dumbfounded as he sat on the bed.

Desai laughed,” Last time I checked I was very real.” She moved her hips and a soreness spread across her lower abdomen. “Yep, I’m very real and I’m taking a shower.”

“Desai. Come here for a moment,” he requested in a choked voice.

He was almost crying. “Thomas?” she asked as she walked to stand in front of him. “Please don’t cry.” She leaned down and kissed the top of his head breathing in his scent. “I agreed to and loved everything we shared last night and this morning.”

He looked up into her smiling face. He knew it was too soon to pledge his heart, but damn he wanted to blurt out, _I love you!_ Instead he offered, “I’ve never in my life met a woman like you.” He shook his head, “You are one of a kind lady.” He pulled her gently until she was lying atop him across the bed. “Let me hold you,” he said softly.

“Only if you insist,” she smiled at him.

“I would insist on a few things, but I think caution should rule today, love,” he said with one of his signature smirks.

Desai was about to speak when her phone rang. “Ughh,” she groaned as the remix for _Route 66_ began to play.

“Leave it,” he suggested sexily. “I want to hold you.”

“It’s the trucking company, sweetheart and it could be serious. I’m sorry, but I have to take it.” Hoping he didn’t realize the grimace she made while getting up was from pain and not aggravation, she reached for her phone and caught it on the third ring. “This is Desai Alexander how may I help you?”

Tom watched as she began to nod furiously causing her curls to fly in all directions making him want to tangle his fingers in all that silken softness.

“Okay, Ralph. Yes, I remember you. I need for you to do me a favor. I want you to take a deep breath. I know all about this being your first time, but you have to calm down. I can’t understand you unless you speak clearly, okay? I’ll do my best to talk you through this.”

He watched as she moved quickly from the room and noticed she had a slight hitch in her walk. He giggled; he shouldn’t have, but he did. “I caused that,” he whispered with a smothered laugh.

Following her voice after he had changed the bed linen wondering about then understanding why the bloodstain was there; he was her first in the most delicious way. He opened one of the sliding doors allowing Bobby out in her backyard then went in search of Desai he found her sitting at an antique desk staring intently at her computer monitor. Looking around he saw that this was not just an office but the library of the home. Hundreds of books lined the carved wooden shelves. He wondered if she had read any of them or if they had been part of the settlement. He noticed a group of books that appeared fairly new. He read the titles; so, she did read a lot as she had told him and in more than one language. She was a smart cookie and a delicious one.

“Here’s what you need to do, Ralph. At the bottom of your screen you see the little box with the icon of a truck, click on that. The one that’s highlighted should be the accident you were telling me about.” She looked up and motioned Thomas in and to sit. “Ralph, you were trained before you started work.” She smiled at Ralph’s, _‘Are you sure?’_ “Yes, I’m sure, because I was the one who taught the class. Were you sleeping or something?”

He could only hear her side of the conversation, but it sounded serious. He waved his hands until he got Desai’s attention then mouthed, _“I’m going to make coffee.”_

She gave Thomas a thumbs up as she ran exasperated fingers through her hair, “This is your job not mine. I cannot just reach through and grab those files, the icons, as well as the names on the files, are self-explanatory. Have you checked the manual?” She paused, “What do you mean there isn’t a manual? I know there is! I made it! I have step-by-step instructions especially for situations like this so that – Ralph!” She groaned, partially from exasperation and partially from the low-level pain in her abdomen, back and thighs.

Her Southern accent kicked into overdrive. “Did you click on the highlighted area? It should have. Is there a glitch? Don’t yell at me! I’m calling Jeff,” she hung up so mad she felt as if she could eat nails and spit tacks. She looked down at her cell and began dialing, “Jeff, hey hate to bother you but there’s been an accident,” there was a pause. “That’s just it I don’t know. Hey! Don’t take that tone with me! You know damn well that I know what I’m doing! I wouldn’t have called you, but I had no choice. Ralph called me he’s the one that doesn’t know how.

“No, I do not want him fired, he’s got three kids he needs this job. I want him to have eighty hours more training. Yes! With pay! Don’t argue with me, Jeff. Well, you’re not the boss. Send me those files ASAP. Get Ralph into more training. Get David and Donald in on this as well. I still have the same e-mail and I expect those within the hour. And if necessary, get Richard involved. Jeff, keep this within the chain of command from now on. The only thing I should be notified about is a board meeting. Do I make myself clear?” She hung up with a heavy sigh and looked down as she felt something sticky flood between her thighs. “Well shit.”

Tom laughed as he walked back into her office carrying two cups of steaming coffee but cut it off at the expression on her face, “Desai?”

“Uh … I …” damnit you were both adults and after what he’d done to you, _you_ were embarrassed to tell him you had just started your period? He grew up with three women if there was a man on the planet who understood it was Thomas William Hiddleston.

“What’s wrong?”

“I started my period.” _The Bloody Battle at V-Town was on again!_

“What do you need for me to do, love?” He wanted to smile at the color on her cheeks. He had grown up with three women. He knew firsthand about menstrual cycles and how moody they were at those times. But, damn, women were without a doubt the finest creatures ever created; so much stronger than men.

“Bring me one of the old towels from the linen closet, in my bathroom, bottom shelf. If I stand up it’s really not –”

“Understood.”

As she waited for him to return, she grabbed the cup of coffee and opened her email. _Might as well take a gander and see if Jeff sent me the files._ She groaned. _Did the accident have to look that bad?!_

“Are you in pain?” Tom asked as he held the towel out to her.

“Not so much physical as emotional. This is a bad looking accident; and I hate them with a passion. A robbery took my parents. A crash took my brother. Andrew. Friends.” She knew there were unshed tears in her eyes. “Thomas, I have no family left to really speak of. Oh, I have cousins here and there but none that I’m close to. If I were to die no one would mourn my passing.” She rubbed her face as the tears flowed. _Damn hormones!_

“That’s not true,” Tom whispered as he knelt in front of her. “You have touched so many people, Desai. Me for one,” he wiped away her tears with a corner of the towel.

“What would you like to wear today?” _Since it won’t be me._ “Are you sure this is just your monthly cycle? I didn’t – I saw a little blood on the sheet. Was that just from me or –” _I will kill myself if I’ve done something to hurt this woman!_

“No, you didn’t hurt me, and yes, I’m sure. There was a little pain the first time, but nothing after that. And I know this is my period, I made sure to take my bcp’s while I was in the hospital so that my cycle wouldn’t be thrown off.”

“BCPs?”

“Birth control pills. I will need my black joggers. The lower right section of my closet and any tee shirt will do fine. As well as underwear since you insist on getting my clothes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had fun writing this!


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fun ensues!

Thirty minutes later she was out of the shower, dressed and ready for a run. “Gimme kiss,” Desai said as she hugged Thomas then kissed him deeply. “I really could get used to this.”

“Are you sure you’re okay to go for your run?” Tom asked concerned.

“Best way to get rid of cramps is to exercise. Catch me if you can,” she called out grinning at the expression on Tom’s face as she took off from the house, jogging slowly, to begin with, and then picking up speed as her body warmed and loosened up.

“Well, bugger me,” he whispered to himself as he watched her take off. He could tell she was in some pain but whether or not it was from their lovemaking he had no clue. Desai was a soothing balm in more ways than one to his scared and scarred heart. _Yeah, but what’s mum going to say about all those bruises? They were not there yesterday and mum had seen her then. Desai, I hope you have some good makeup, love. I love you, you marvelous woman!_

He looked down at Bobby as the animal placed his paws on Tom’s leg, “Hey, there. How about we make Desai a true Full English breakfast? Do you think she’d like that?” _There was just something about Desai that made him_ **want** _to do things for her, cook for her. That made him_ **want** _to do anything, everything just to keep her by his side. Making her breakfast was just one thing he wanted to do_ **with her** _._ **For her** _. He wanted to_ **take her** _on trips,_ **show her** _the things he had seen. Desai was perfectly divine; yet with imperfections making her perfectly perfect in every way, he had ever imagined. Or wanted._

Bobby woo-wooed.

“I agree,” Tom said. He began the preparations as he made himself handy in the kitchen. He smiled as he dialed Desai’s number about twenty minutes later, smiling as she answered a little breathless, “Hello, Sweetheart.”

“Hello, love. How do you like your eggs?”

“Over medium. Shit!” I hissed.

“What is the matter, love? Are you hurt?”

“No. Thomas, there’s a shitload of reporters outside the house. Don’t go outside,” she said hanging up. She turned around zipping the hoodie all the way up and throwing the hood over her head.

_As if I didn’t have enough shit to deal with today!_ She thought as she looked around for an escape route.

She ducked into the alley that separated her property from the house next to it and behind hers. She climbed up and over the privacy wall without much trouble and in the process of landing twisted her ankle slightly. She hobble-walked to the sliding kitchen door. It was locked. She knocked. Thomas jumped. Bobby barked. She burst out laughing as Thomas dropped the two eggs he was holding onto the floor and before he could do anything Bobby had the mess cleaned up; shells and all.

“Where the **_Bloody Hell_** did you come from?!” he bellowed.

“My mama.” She grinned cheekily, as he opened the door. “I was not about to wade through that circus out there looking like this!” She smiled at the face he made, then laughed at his expression when she told him, “I climbed over the back wall. That’s why I’m limping. I landed wrong.” She looked around him, wiggling her fingers towards the stove, “Are those supposed to smoke like that?”

“Oh, for fucks sake!”

She laughed and shook her head, “I’m off to the shower. Again.”

Forty minutes later, the bruises that Tom had left the night before were covered with makeup. As she dressed, she pulled on her black tights then wrapped her ankle in a light ace bandage, put on her flat-heeled knee-high lace-up boots to help brace it, a dark blue mini-skirt, and a black fitted button-down with a light blue and white fringed gauzy infinity scarf.

Because reporters tended to notice everything she did another check to make sure no bruises or love bites were noticeable. As she looked in the mirror, she decided there was not much she could do about the still healing bruises from Larry’s attack they were just too deep. She walked-slightly-limped into the kitchen and right into Thomas’ arms. “I want to thank you.”

He gave her a puzzled look as he wrapped his arms around her, smiling, “Whatever for, love?”

“Being you. Making love to me last night, this morning. This,” she motioned at the food that was still steaming on the stove. “No one’s ever …” She choked on emotion. “I hate these damn hormone fluctuations.”

“You deserve all this and more, darling.” He added sheepishly, slightly embarrassed, “I sort of forgot to tell you mum is coming over.”

She looked at him in bewilderment, as she squeaked, “What?! Why didn’t you tell me?! I’d better hurry and eat then I’ve got to get this house cleaned!”

“I just did, and we were busy last night and anyway there’s nothing wrong with how the house looks,” he reassured her. “She’s coming over so that the two of you can go shopping and have a ladies day or something. Not to critique your housekeeping abilities.” He kissed her forehead, “Now have a seat and eat your breakfast before it gets cold.”

“Yes sir.”

After she finished everything he had put on her plate, she helped him with the dishes. She made a move for the door that led to the garage.

“Where are you going?”

Slinging a thumb over her shoulder, “Out there. They won’t leave until I answer whatever questions they have for me,” she sighed. “Thank goodness I have a gate! Thomas, I thank you for trying to warn me about the paparazzi, but I’ve gone through this several times since I was awarded the company. I never thought I’d be saying this – I hope it’s about the accident and not you.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” he gave her one of those hugs that just put all the pieces back together.

She booped his nose, smiling as he gave one of his signature ehehehehehe laughs, “You know, should you ever want to get out of acting, you could make millions with just your hugs.”

“These kinds of hugs are reserved just for you,” he said as he tilted her head up. “Should they ask about me. Simply tell them the truth. We are friends of the best sort.” _I love you! When will I ever be ready to say those words again?_ He kissed her softly almost chastely enjoying the way she snuggled further into his arms.

“Ummm, I like the sound of that,” she said as she smiled against his cheek. “I’ve never had a friend like you.”

_Dear God, I love this man! When will I ever say those words again? I’m so broken, does Thomas really know how badly I need him, want him, and love him? I will never love again if I get my heart broken by him. I’ll never be able to trust another man as long as I live. Dearest Thomas, please don’t break my heart._

“You know we could just forget they are out there and watch movies instead,” he suggested.

“You know I can’t do that. And don’t tell me that you’ve forgotten your rehearsal in a few hours? I heard you in here going over your lines and though I’m still not sure what play it is … I can’t wait to see you in it.” She sighed, “I still do not know how serious that accident was. I know they will want me there in New York if the board calls a meeting.” She wished she could have said something at his crestfallen expression.

“Surely some of the higher-ups could handle the situation without you being there,” he suggested, the reluctance of having to say goodbye so soon showing in both voice and expression. _Don’t leave me! I need you! I want you! I love you!_

She did her best to reassure him, “We will cross that bridge, as they say when we come to it. Please, don’t let it spoil what we’ve begun. Right now, everything is still new and we’re still getting to know each other.” She smiled up at him, “I may not need to go anywhere that’s not been determined yet. I might just fool them and do a video conference. Owners can do that.” She kissed him as she murmured against his lips, “The zoo crew is waiting outside should I take one of my whips?” she asked as she walked away looking over her shoulder at him.

He laughed. “You’re funny.”

“No, Thomas,” she said seriously as she walked to the door that led to the garage, “I have a bullwhip and a couple of others and I know how to use them. The big bullwhip is in the music room. It was a gift … from another actor, he taught me how to use it.” She laughed at the expression on his face as it went from comical to ‘oh shit’.

“The music room is down the hall and is connected to the ballroom.” She pointed in the opposite direction of the bedroom. “I’ll be back as soon as I answer their questions,” she said as she moved out of the kitchen and into the garage opening the large sliding door.

Tom was in awe as he entered the large room, there was a grand piano dead center and all around the walls were various guitars both new and antique along with other stringed instruments, various artwork, and pictures of whom he presumed to be family members and friends. Along with a sound system he wished he could claim as his own. It was a programmable cd player that was set up not unlike the antique Wurlitzer jukebox sitting against the wall that held at least five hundred 45s. There was floor to ceiling French doors that opened into a huge room that would or could not be mistaken for anything else other than a ballroom.

Just as she had said, there in a prominent place hung a bullwhip above it was a picture of Desai and an older gentleman wearing a cowboy hat who was hugging Desai a bit too closely for his liking. _I’ve never been jealous. And why would I be of a picture that was taken before I met her?_

_Because … Tom … she’s yours. You know that old chap. You’ve fallen in love with her. You’ve seen her almost die, you’ve heard her cry and cry for you. She’s different. Down to Earth and capable of taking care of herself._

“But I want to take care of her,” he whispered to himself.

In the corner next to the large bay window sat a gilded harp. “I wonder if she plays this?” he murmured as he lightly strummed the instrument. He stopped dead in his tracks as a picture caught his eye; it was of a couple, titled in gold; Andrew and Desai, January 2017. Suddenly he knew exactly where he had met her, he also remembered how he had felt about her then. Oh, she had gone through so much. She was scarred and she was right she looked so very different now, but nothing, nothing could change those eyes. “Oh my love,” he whispered, as he ran his fingers across the image.

*******

“Hello, ladies, and gentlemen,” Desai said with a smile of greeting as she met their eyes. “What may I help you with today?” she shook her head as everyone began asking questions all at once. Flashes going off, nearly blinding her, but she smiled through it all as she held up a hand. “Please! I am here and I am willing to answer your questions, but I cannot understand all of your questions being shot at me all at once. So, here’s how it’s going to be. I will answer **_one_** question from each of you. So, make sure you ask a good question because I will not repeat an answer or answer repeat questions.” She held up her hands. “Now, ladies first and in alphabetical order. Gentlemen, you will be taken in alphabetical order as well.

“You may take as many pictures of me as you like and before you ask the bruises are still healing and are too deep to try and cover with makeup. Surprisingly, nothing was broken although I am recovering quite well from the four cracked ribs. So, if there were any questions about my injuries that should have covered it.”

*******

Tom made sure he was hidden as he listened to Desai as she spoke and took charge of the reporters. He smiled, maybe she should take Luke’s place she definitely knew how to take charge of a situation.

Desai smiled brightly and said, “Now shall we begin?”

“Are you dating Tom Hiddleston?”

She looked confused, “Why would you ask that? I’ll answer your question, but I want to know why you asked.”

“That’s his car,” the lady reporter pointed behind her with a smirk.

_Damn! Why didn’t I have him put it in the garage?_ Without skipping a beat, Desai said, “No. I am not dating, Tom Hiddleston.” _Which wasn’t a lie. We bypassed dating and went straight to the bedroom._ “Tom and I became friends during the eight and half days I was in the hospital. I was released from the hospital yesterday and Tom was generous enough to loan his car.”

She gave Desai a smile that said she knew it was a lie, “You left the hospital in a cab.”

Desai nodded, “Yes, I did. However, I went to the theatre to let Tom know. He offered his car and I accepted. Simple as that.” She looked at the next reporter, “Next.”

“Wait! I didn’t get …”

Desai threw her a glare, “I told you to make sure you asked a good question, not my fault you didn’t get the answer you were hoping for.”

“What is the status of the truck accident?”

“It is still being processed. I will make a public statement on my social accounts and on the company’s website when I know more. I have seen pictures and video of the accident, but as of right now I do not know how bad it is or if anyone has been injured other than the driver and before anyone asks, I cannot tell you the name of the driver. That’s company regulations.”

She smiled as most of the reporters thanked her and left. “Is there something else?” She asked of the few that remained. “What is your relationship with Tom Hiddleston?”

She grinned full-on and said, “As I already said, we are friends. I adore his mum. In fact, she and I have a date to go shopping.” She smiled as she looked to another reporter, “Next.”

“Just friends?”

Desai was becoming exasperated as she answered, “I just got out of the hospital yesterday. What other kind of relationship could occur in said hospital? And besides, I have four cracked ribs that are still healing. I was in a relationship with Larry Turner. I cared deeply for that man although I was not aware, he was married. Because I and I stress this **_I do not knowingly date married men._** ”

“So, you and Hiddleston are just friends?”

“That was already asked, and I answered it. Thank you and goodbye. Have a great day! We need to move here comes Diana.” She pressed the button that closed the gate. “Diana, would you pull into the garage please?”

She nodded as she maneuvered her car into the large garage. Desai followed and closed the door. “You missed the circus,” she said as she hugged her.

“Is Tom here?” Diana asked with a smile.

“Yes,” Desai grinned back. “C’mon in I want to show you the house.”

Tom was standing by the door as his mother entered and he gave her a hug, “Hello mum.”

“Tom,” she said with a knowing smile.

Desai gazed at Thomas; he was blushing. Why was he blushing? He looked as if he had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. She threw him a questioning look over his mom’s shoulder and followed her into the living room. He motioned to his neck and she realized her scarf had shifted down.

“Diana, may I get you something to drink?” Desai offered as she moved past her and Thomas, moving her scarf back into place.

“No,” she said as she looked around the room in admiration.

“Would you like to see the house?”

“I would love to, lovey,” she said smiling.

“I knew a woman named Lovey, a long time ago. She was as sweet as her name implied,” Desai said as she led Diana and Thomas down the hall.

“Do you play the harp?” Diana asked as they entered the music room.

“I do, but not as well as I would like.”

“Play for us,” Tom requested.

He smiled as Desai blushed but nodded, “Okay.” She sat and began to play _A Trip to the Islands._ When she finished Tom and his mom clapped. “Thank you, but I’m nowhere near as good as I wish I was. I adore harp music. I often listen to it as I try and fall asleep.”

Diana asked, “You have insomnia?”

“I have night terrors caused by PTSD. I – umm – I was raped when I was a child that combined with the accident is not conducive for sleep. That’s when the monsters creep in and I relive everything.”

“I’m so very sorry, love,” Diana said softly as she pulled Desai into a hug. “I’m so very glad you are here. You are loved, girl, never doubt that. You even melted, that old fart of an ex-husband of mine’s, heart.”

“I love you too, Diana. And thanks for so much.”

Tom watched the interaction between his mother and Desai. His heart melted at her ‘I love you’ he knew now how it would sound coming from her lips and that warmed his still-healing heart.

After the tour, they all sat in the kitchen nook, had tea, sandwiches, and scones. “You have a beautiful home,” Diana said with a smile. Desai realized then that’s where Thomas got his smile and his looks, he looked a lot like his mother.

“As I have told Thomas and others this house is one of several properties that was awarded with the settlement. It’s really too big for just me, but I have fallen in love with it. I plan on adding at least one other bathroom. Maybe two. I’ll get that set up when I go back to Atlanta.” She glanced over at Thomas.

Diana observed how Desai was looking at her son and how he was looking back. They were falling for each other and her guess was they were already lovers if the love bite on Desai’s neck was any indication. She remembered how she felt at their age and smiled. She broke the silence with, “I saw the reporters gathered at your gate Tom when I came in.”

“You live near here?” Desai asked him surprised.

“Not too far,” he said sheepishly.

“That’s why I had you pull into the garage, Diana. One of the reporters noticed Thomas’ car and asked me about it.” She sighed, “I lied and told them Thomas allowed me to borrow it. They will be watching for me to take it to him.” Desai looked at him, “How comfortable are you getting into your mom’s trunk? Boot, I mean.”

He laughed, “Why do I get the feeling that you’ve had experience with this sort of thing before?”

Desai blushed crimson although she gave a nonchalant shrug, “As a teenager, we used to sneak into drive-ins, because we didn’t have a lot of money, we always snuck at least five more in in the trunk. The boot I mean.” She ran fingers through her hair, a motion that made Tom’s mouth water. He loved the feel of her curls as they wrapped around his fingers. “We could put you in the boot of your car, but I really don’t think that you can fit all that long leggedness of yours into that small space. And then there’s Bobby. We could leave him here; he has the entire yard to run wild in or it’s you and him in your mom’s boot.”

“I suppose it’s mum’s boot then,” he said with a devilish grin as he watched her bite her bottom lip.

After they finished their lunch they moved to the garage. Diana and Desai were laughing their heads off at Tom. After three attempts Thomas finally got himself curled into the boot of his mom’s car. The sight of him had the two ladies in giggles. Bobby had no problem and probably thought it was an adventure. Before Desai shut the boot, she leaned down and gave Thomas an evil grin as she imitated the _Wicked Witch of the West_ , “Now my pretty it’s off with you and your little dog too.” Leaning in she kissed him, “See you at your place. Oh! I need your keys.”

“You would ask now,” he grumbled as he tried to reach his pocket.

“Want me to do that?”

She easily slid her hand into his pocket and retrieved said keys lightly brushing his manhood as she did so, and color rushed to her cheeks. “I – I – sorry about that.”

“Mmmm,” he murmured as he grinned broadly and whispered, “I feel as if I’m being kidnapped by a glorious sex-starved woman,” he laughed as she turned crimson and slammed the boot. Maniacal laughter was muffled by the lid.

“Be quiet!” she ordered, then turned to Diana, “I will follow you.”

She nodded as she laughed and off they went and sure enough the outside area was crammed full of reporters and every one of them was snapping pictures and searching the inside of the vehicles for any sign of Thomas. Desai just waved and smiled as she followed Diana into the gated property. They pulled into the garage and closed the doors.

“Should we just leave him in there?” Diana joked smiling as she knocked on the boot lid.

“Yes? Hello?!” Came the yell from inside. “Wot? Mum! Let me out!”

Desai leaned down grinning and said, “What’s your safe word?”

“Wot?! Desai! Wot, do you mean sa–” _Safeword?! Oh, that little minx!_

She made a noise like a buzzer, “That’s not it,” she sing-songed.

“Mum! Desai! Let me out of here!”

“Did you hear a please in there anywhere?” she asked Diana.

“No. I did not,” then Diana whispered, “I wonder how long it will take him to find the inside latch?” Desai couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her lips.

“What does a good boy do when he wants something?” She asked as Diana giggled and it sounded like Thomas, he had her laugh Desai noticed.

“Let me out of this bloody boot!” he yelled. _Oh, you will pay for this! Desai, I swear that I will turn you over my knee, and –_ he groaned at the image that came to his mind.

Bobby barked.

“I’m sorry, love I cannot do that without a certain word. And such language in front of your mom.”

“Desai, so help me God when I get out of here I’m going to –”

“Ah and there’s the rub. You cannot get out unless you use a certain word.” Diana and Desai laughed.

Tom looked around the boot and found the latch that opened it from the inside, “Ah-ha!” he said as the boot lid opened, and he crawled out.

Desai raised a brow at him, “Shouldn’t that be ‘taaa-daaa’?” she sing-songed again.

“I’ll show you, ‘ta-da’,” he said as he grabbed Desai gently around the waist causing a little squeal and then kissed her deeply.

They parted breathlessly and she mumbled, “You’ve got rehearsal in a bit.”

“And we are still going shopping,” Diana said from behind us.

“I’ll see you later, love,” he promised as he gave her a gentle but thorough kiss.

“Okay,” she nodded. They parted and Diana and she drove away with hopefully none of the reporters the wiser about the little adventure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having so much fun with these two!


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Tom Hiddleston gets jealous and just maybe starts a game he might not win.

Diana and Desai had a wonderful day with Desai offering to let Thomas and his family use any of her properties for a holiday.

“You are much too generous, Desai.”

“I’m paying it forward the only way I know how. I’ve lost too much not to be grateful to those who are kind to me.” She glanced at Diana and blurted, “How do you feel about me?”

“Why do you ask that?”

“Because over the time I was in the hospital, I – I’ve fallen in love with your son. I keep telling myself that it’s all happening too fast, but it feels so right.” She sighed as she gazed out the window, “Thomas and I have become friends since he started coming to the hospital to see me. Which is something I didn’t expect. But seeing his face through my slitted eyes had a calming effect on me. Somehow I knew I would be okay simply because he was there. He has that effect on me. He calms me down and grounds me. I’m a better person because of his presence.”

Diana nodded and as they stopped at a red light, she turned to Desai, “He’s been hurt. I’m sure you know that. And I know you’ve been hurt as well. Please be careful how you approach the love word. Please be cautious.”

“I will and I haven’t told him yet how I feel, but the more I’m with him the deeper I go. Those days he spent with me while I was healing was wonderful. I – I know it’s all happening so very fast and it scares me. I do want you to know that you’ve raised an awesome child who is such a gentleman. He wept for me. He actually cried because he thought he had hurt me. And I probably – he held me all night, Diana. I’ve never met a man like him, he’s kind, gentle, tender, emotional, and he wants to be with me. I can’t believe it.”

“He gives one hundred and ten percent in everything he does.”

Just then Desai’s phone rang, it was Thomas, “Hello, there I was just talking about you. Were your ears burning?”

“No, but my lips are for you, darling.”

She smiled and blushed, as her Southern accent always came through when she was nervous, “Since I’m out with your mum is there anything I can pick up for supper?”

“Oh, how I love your accent, darling. Yeah, yeah. I was actually calling about that, my love. I need mince about a pound and a half. About four fresh Roma tomatoes, I’ll need some Parmesan, some Pancetta, and an onion. Go by your place and pack a bag for a sleepover.”

“Okay.” Desai coughed and knew she was blushing, “Do you have any red wine, or do you use dry white wine in your version of Bolognese? And do you need an extra bottle or two of red?”

“How did you know what I am making?”

She laughed, “I cook too you know. Anyway, we’ll stop in at the market and get what you need. We’ll see you soon.”

“Bye, love.”

“See you soon, Thomas.” She hung up and smiled.

As they arrived back at Thomas’ Desai allowed Diana to go first into the house, she insisted on carrying at least one bag, so Desai gave her the one with the bread in it and she carried the rest. As Desai settled everything on the counter, Thomas asked, “Why didn’t you say something, love? I could have carried that for you.”

“I’m used to carrying everything by myself, darlin’.”

Diana asked her, “What on Earth are you going to do with all of that old tack?”

“What did you buy, love?” Tom questioned as he began the prep for dinner.

“I found some wonderful old horse collars and some other tack that will go great in the lodge once it’s cleaned up. I took them out of your mum’s boot and put them on the floor of your garage. And I just might make a mirror out of the largest one. I’m always on the lookout for rustic items. I have other things that I will need to pick up tomorrow sometime.”

“Lodge?” Diana queried.

Desai nodded, “Yes, I own a hunting lodge that straddles the Montana and Wyoming state line. We raise Moose, Elk, Red-Deer, White-Tailed-Deer, Buffalo, and other free-ranging animals. We also have a pheasant shoot each year with the proceeds going to _UNICEF_.” She looked down as her phone rang with the _Route 66_ remix, “I’m sorry I gotta get this.”

Tom and Diana listened as Desai angrily spoke to the person on the other end, “Listen, _you_ are the regional manager, Joshua. This is the second time I’ve received a call from a regional today. This is _your_ job, not mine. I don’t stay at home waiting for phone calls from you guys. And I cannot and will not keep bouncing across the Atlantic because _you guys_ can’t seem to do _your_ job correctly.” She paused, “You should be talking to Richard he’s the Vice President.” – “So call him.” – “Yes I am very aware that I am the owner and CEO of the company. However, that in no way means that you contact me with something as trivial as this. I can’t just type in a request and the files suddenly appear in front of me. Keep things within the chain of command. You do know what that means, don’t you?” – “I – don’t talk to me that way!”

She started crying from frustration, anger, and hormones, “I am _not_ crying because I am a woman! And _you_ have no idea how I feel! Do you think that because I was awarded the company that things like this just bounce off?! You have no idea what I go through every time I get a call from one of you. I want _you_ to call Richard and keep within the chain of command is that understood?” She said with authority, “Don’t call me with this trivial shit again, do I make myself clear,” as she hung up. Wiping at her eyes she fell into the strong arms that encircled her.

“Shhhh, darling. It’ll be alright, Desai,” Tom whispered softly against her neck as he held her with her back to his front.

She gesticulated in frustration. “I’m trying so hard to let go and allow them to do their job, but they keep calling me about things that should be dealt with by someone else. I’m finding someone to take over as CEO, these calls are driving me crazy,” she said as she turned in his arms to face him.

“It will get better, love, I promise.” He tenderly rubbed her back and shoulders, “I want you to just relax while I make dinner. Okay?”

“I should help you. You have taken care of me and …,” she pleaded as tears still ran down her face and she rubbed her lower abdomen.

“No, my love, you need some rest. Are you in pain?”

“Cramping.”

“You shouldn’t have carried all that tack and groceries.” He couldn’t help himself as he weaved his fingers in her hair. “You need rest. Now I want you to either take a nap on my bed or on the sofa. Either one you choose but please do. And I’m giving you a couple of Panadol’s.” He sat her on his sofa as he retrieved the medication and a glass of water.

“Thank you, Thomas.” She curled up with Bobby lying next to her abdomen on the sofa, finding herself exhausted sleep overtook her. It must have been a combination of Thomas’ scent and the heat from Bobby’s furry body, but she was soon in dreamland and surprisingly it was a good one.

_They were in a park playing with Bobby, and then Tom began acting like a velociraptor and attacked her then they were rolling in the grass with Bobby attacking them._

“Love, she’s more down to Earth than anyone I’ve ever met,” Diana said as she gazed at Desai asleep on the sofa. “She offered any of her properties for a holiday and that was extended to you, your sisters and father as well.” She shook her head, “She’s amazing.”

“Yes, mum she is. She reminds me of you in so many ways.” _I am falling so fast and hard for her! I know in my heart she’s the **one**. _He glanced at Desai as she slept, her arm tucked under head, her hair falling across her face, she looked like a sleeping angel and she was smiling. _I love you!_

“When did you say filming would begin for _Loki_?” Diana asked.

“They’ve said February, but from what I was told I may need to step away from the play altogether and go to Georgia sooner. I’ll know when I get the call.”

The wine was breathing, the Bolognese was steaming, and the table was set. Tom padded barefoot into the living room to wake Desai as he leaned down, he lightly kissed her cheek and whispered, “Wake up my love.”

She slowly opened her eyes, confused at first then she saw those blue eyes smiling at her, “Hey, babe. I really didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

“You needed the rest besides, I **_enjoy_** cooking for you,” he said as he helped her sit upright. _You make me_ **_want_** _to do things for you. It scares me how I feel about you._ As she stood he pulled her into his arms. “Mmm,” he sounded as he nuzzled her neck. “My very own sleeping beauty.”

She smiled into his shoulder and murmured, “My very own Prince—” she paused when he gave her a sideways look, then added, “Everything,” in a whisper as she kissed him.

During supper, Desai filled Tom and Diana in on the lodge activities. “We have Artisan shops that do just about everything. Cast iron made the old fashioned way. That’s where all the handles and knobs at my house came from. Every single one hand made. Even the copper tubs and sinks.” She smiled as she took a sip of the wine. “A couple of the westerns that came out last year were filmed there. I love the saloon, there’s an antique bar from the eighteen hundreds in it and lots of other antiques.”

“Wow, I would love to see it,” Tom said as he gazed at her. He knew she was a bit tipsy from the wine.

“I would love to show it to you. It’s so beautiful there. The minute you step out you can smell the pine and fresh air.”

“Sounds lovely, Desai,” Diana said as she moved to the fridge and retrieved the tiramisu. She smiled when Tom stuck a finger in a corner of the pan.

Desai blushed as she watched Thomas lick the sweet off his finger as he gazed innocently right at her. _Why did he have to make that so erotic?_

After supper she helped Thomas clear the table and wash the dishes, finding that they worked well together then joking about his time in the boot. “I will get you back,” he promised.

“You heard that, Diana. He threatened me,”

“That’s what it sounded like,” she said with a grin as she stood. “I have to go, loves. The food was great as always,” she said giving him a hug. “Desai, you are such a breath of fresh air. We’ll have to do dinner again sometime, at my house.”

She gave her a hug, “I would love it. Please take care of yourself and call me any time.”

As soon as Diana was out the door Desai was in his arms, “I meant what I said,” he said wickedly against her neck as they walked back to the kitchen.

“Oh, really? And pray tell just how are you going to do that?” she asked as she raised a brow.

“That’s my secret, and I never divulge secrets,” he said as he pressed Desai against the counter pinning her hands on the countertop.

“Too bad we can’t indulge those naughty thoughts of yours tonight.” She smiled when he groaned and lay his head on her shoulder. “I’m sorry. I want you as much as you want me, Thomas. Should I apologize for being a woman?”

He stared into her green-gold eyes, “Never. I love that you are a woman otherwise I wouldn’t be doing this,” he said as he captured her lips in a kiss that was soul shaking. “I never want to be without you, Desai,” he whispered against her lips.

“Nor I you,” she whispered back. _Where thou goest I goest also._

“I’m glad you agreed to stay with me,” he said as he gently ran his fingers through her hair.

“Why wouldn’t I? I loved waking up next to you this morning and last night, Thomas. I feel safe when I’m in your arms.”

“I’m glad, love. I do have some news. I didn’t tell mum because I knew she would want to know the specifics. The play will only run for a week with me in the lead.”

“How do you feel about that? I know you were looking forward to this.”

“Not as much as I let on, darling,” he ran his hand through his black locks and sighed, “I agreed to do it for a friend,” he said as he guided them to the sofa.

She sat then faced him with, “And?”

“They switched my leading lady.”

The way he said it, his body language, told her that it was either someone he didn’t particularly get on with, a former lover or both. She took a guess, “Allison?”

“Desai, you are so much more perceptive than I gave you credit for.”

She smiled and kissed him softly. “You are much more professional than you give yourself credit for, Tom Hiddleston. You give as good as you get, especially when dealing with her. If your part calls for a kiss then lay one on her that will cause her to come undone right there on stage. I mean I know you’ve kissed her before, so just kiss her again.”

“She’s not you, love, and hasn’t been since the night I first saw you.”

She moved slightly so that she was staring into his eyes. “Well then, pretend she’s me.” She gave him a tender poke in the chest. “I’ll be there for every performance that is if you want me there.”

“You would watch as I kissed another woman like that in front of you?” he asked with slight surprise.

“As long as I know it’s part of your job I would watch you do a love scene.” She grinned, “You have no idea how scenes like that turn me on.”

“I’m getting turned on just listening to you,” he took a deep breath, “and I dare not do a damn thing about it.”

“I am sorry, Thomas.” She nuzzled his nose, “You want to watch a movie? Or do you want to practice your lines?”

He grinned and gave her a devilish gaze, “I want to make love to you until we’re both breathless.”

“Could you put that on hold for about three days?” She smiled as she kissed him. “I could, ummm, give you some relief. I feel as if you did all the work so to speak last night. Would you allow me to …” she said as she cupped his crotch smiling as a moan escaped his lips. “Umm, I like the sound of that,” she whispered against his lips.

“Desai,” he warned but his voice held no real threat as she loosened his belt then his unfastened pants.

She kissed her way down from his neck, across his taut jawline to his lips then onward to the base of his collarbone until she touched a nipple covered by fabric. She reached and rendered the shirt in two as buttons flew and she smiled as she heard a gasp. She nibbled lightly at the nipple then licked it while she grazed her nail across the other one, smiling as he arched into her mouth. “Oh, you taste good,” she murmured against his chest.

He raised up and she pulled his pants off. She regarded his heated gaze as he watched her. She gave his balls a light squeeze through his underwear, teasing the delicate area with feathery touches which elicited moans that were a delight to her ears. She tugged at the waistband of his boxers and he lifted his hips allowing her to pull them off. She gave them a toss and cared not where they went. He was hers. Tonight, he belonged to her.

“Thomas,” she softly murmured against his skin, “allow me the pleasure of pleasing you. Please.”

“I’m yours for the taking,” he said as he tangled his fingers in her hair then kissed her deeply.

“Do you like what I’m doing to you?”

“Yes,” he almost whimpered as she gave his balls a lick then sucked one into her mouth as she swirled her tongue around it. She leaned over him once again making sure she made eye contact as she ghosted the tip of his cock licking the pre-cum from the slit. “Mmm, you do taste good,” she whispered as she gently squeezed his balls watching as more pre-cum seeped out. “Someone’s more than ready.” She stilled her movements holding a smile as he looked at her questioningly. “What’s your safe word, Thomas?”

Desai laughed as his mouth formed an ‘O’. “If you don’t have one you can make up one, but I suggest you do it quickly. I fully intend on enjoying this.” She paused, “And once I start I will not stop unless I hear your safe word.”

“Rhubarb.”

She nodded then moved from the couch grabbing her bag.

“What are you doing?” he asked as a different feeling came over him. One he didn‘t like.

Desai whirled, “Did I tell you to speak?” she asked as she whipped the small riding crop out of her bag giving him a light smack on his bared thigh. “Don’t be a bad boy, Thomas.”

“Yes, Desai.” He watched as she leaned down to gracefully lick the head of his cock. His body betrayed him, and he arched upward.

“That’s allowed, Thomas,” she said smiling. “But no hands. Keep your hands above your head. If you think you can’t I will gladly tie them for you. Would you like that?”

“Yes,” he said and nodded.

“Go get your ties,” she commanded.

When he returned she took the ties from him and secured his hands above his head to the couch. “Are those too tight?” she asked she didn’t want to leave any marks. None that would show anyway.

“No, they’re fine,” he murmured.

“Good,” she murmured against his lips just before she kissed him deeply. She could feel his body move against her as she moved her hand down his body to his erection. Moving her hand up and down his length and girth using his pre-cum as lubrication. “I’m going to take as much of you as I can, Thomas. Would you like that?”

“Yes,” he groaned.

“Good,” she whispered as she stood and began to remove her clothes in a slow sensuous manner, taunting Thomas with her breasts but leaving her panties on. Tonight, was for Thomas.

He watched Desai strip and knew she was no novice at this. The strange feeling he had became worse; a burning like that of hot coals began to roil in his stomach and he realized it for what it was.

Jealousy.

He was jealous because she had been taught to do these things by another. “Rhubarb,” he muttered angrily.

She immediately stilled her motions, removing her hands from his body. “What’s wrong, Thomas? Are the bindings too tight? Do you want me to untie you?”

“No. And yes untie me.” He shook his head angrily and asked, “Who taught you to do all this? I want to know! You do this too well for this to be – be your first time,” furious that another man had felt her – enjoyed – her touch like this.

Desai hung her head, his words brought back memories that she would rather not relive. “Thomas, does it matter? Please, let me pleasure you.”

“No! Not until I know who taught you to do this!”

She untied his hands knowing that the fun she had planned was ruined. Ruined by – her guess was—jealousy. 

“Andrew,” she sighed as she began to gather up her clothes, “Andrew, taught me. And he was wicked, Thomas. He made me do things to him I would never dream of doing to you. I would never hurt you, not deliberately. Please, know that.” She pulled her clothes on and sat at the other end of the couch watching as he grabbed his boxers and jerked them on.

“Should I call a taxi? Never mind, it’s not that far. I’ll walk.” She grabbed her bag and walked quickly toward the door. “I’m sorry, Thomas. I never meant to hurt you... or make you angry. And I’m sorry that I’m not what you need or want,” she whispered the last sentence as she opened the door and went out into the cool night air. The gate was closed, and she didn’t know the code. _Should I climb over?_

She text Thomas: _Open the gate, please._ Turning she heard Thomas’ Jaguar. He stopped the car without looking at her as he rolled the window down then angrily commanded, “Get in.” The command made her jump. She got in and fastened her seat belt, “Are you taking me home?” she asked quietly.

“No.”

She gazed straight ahead. “Thomas, I’m hurt by your attitude and a little angry. You have a past. I’m not going to ask you how you learned how to do the things you do.” She sighed, “Why are you so ang –”

“Shut up!”

She jumped, then whispered, “Take me home, please.”

“I will … _eventually_ ,” he growled, still angry that another man had – had what? _You idiot he was her husband!_

_I want to be her husband!_

That thought made him even angrier.

_For fuck’s sake man! Marriage?! So soon?!_

_Yes, I want her and by God, I will have her! I want to teach her what I like, and I want to know what she likes. I love her!_

“Right now, we are going for a drive,” he ground out between clenched teeth.

She didn’t look at him, truth be told she was half afraid to. This man beside her wasn’t her Thomas, she didn’t know who this man was. She remembered how Andrew used to drive like this when he was angry, and it always scared her. “Okay,” she whispered.

As the gate opened flashes of cameras blinded her. She hung her head, knowing that they would be followed. And they were but not for long, Thomas knew every in and out of London.

Thomas drove with Prodigy and Slayer blaring. He drove out of the city and soon they were in the country. Those winding roads did nothing to calm her down. She began to realize that if she didn’t do something with her breathing she would hyperventilate. She took more than a few calming breaths and began to relax a bit.

She glanced at Thomas, noticing his countenance was angry, looking straight ahead and then his eyes shifted, and their eyes met. She wasn’t sure what he saw in hers but in his she saw lust and anger. Heated and raw. Then his eyes were back on the road, soon they were on another winding road this one gravel and she winced at the job he was doing to his car. There would be dings and small dents from the rocks, but she knew better than to say anything to a man who was driving while furious. Andrew had taught her well. Too well it seems. She didn’t realize she was crying until she felt a tear slide down her cheek.

Tom looked over at Desai as he braked the car with a jerk. “Get out,” he ordered coldly.

Desai did as requested and immediately looked up at the sky. _Damn! It’s cloudy no North Star to guide me._ She gasped as Thomas’ hands grabbed her arms. “You won’t find whatever it is you’re looking for up there,” he snarled as he removed one hand but kept the other around her wrist leading her through the darkness to the entrance of the house.

“Thomas –”

He pulled her roughly against him, “Shut it, Desai,” he said with a cold calmness that sent a shiver over her body. “I want to hear your true safe word and that’s all I want to hear right now.”

Her eyes widened, how could he know she had lied? “Beets.”

“Stand here. I don’t want you tripping over anything.” When she didn’t say anything he yelled, “Did you hear me?!”

She jumped, “Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, sir.” _She knew how to appease an enraged man. She had done so for the years Andrew and she were married. She never thought she would have to do it with this man. What the hell had set him off? They were having fun and then boom! It all went down in a fiery crash. She could tear her eyes out! She was crying again._

“What are you sniffling about?” the coldness of his voice came from inside the darkened house.

“I don’t understand what I did that was so wrong,” she whispered raggedly. “I –”

The lighting of the candle startled her, he looked absolutely otherworldly in that single candlelight as it flickered in the slight breeze. “Come in. Sit in that chair by the fireplace while I start a fire.” She opened her mouth, but his next words caused her to close it. “And do be quiet, Desai.”

As her eyes adjusted to the darkness she began to see a bit better, as she gazed around the room she saw no signs of electricity or modern appliances. She wondered what he used this place for and then a thought occurred to her that maybe she really didn’t want to know. She shivered involuntarily as tears still coursed silently down her cheeks.

In for a penny in for a pound as they say, “I want to know what I’ve done to warrant this. Why are you so angry with me?”

He whirled so fast that it was almost inhuman, placing his hands on the arms of the chair his face mere millimeters from hers. “I told you to be quiet,” he ground out.

“I know, but I can’t,” she said quietly as she dared to touch his face. “It scares me that I’ve made you so angry. And I am truly sorry. I only wanted to please you. Pleasure you. I’m sorry that I’ve disappointed you, Thomas.”

“Disappointed me?!” he bellowed the jealousy inside him taking control once again.

She jumped back as if she’d been hit.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been this – I’ve never felt this way before!” He shook his head. “I cannot phantom how you could or should know about the things that you were going to do to me,” his voice became low and dangerous. “So, you, my pet, are going to tell me all about how you were taught to do those things.”

She lifted her chin in defiance. “I’m not your pet and if you keep acting like this I’ll leave.”

“Where will you go?”

“I’ve got two good legs. I’ll walk.” She cocked her head to one side. “How could you be so jealous of a dead man?”

“Jealous?” he asked incredulously but knowing that she was right; he knew the feeling for what it was. “I’ve never been jealous of any one in my life.” He lied.

She gave a sharp laugh, “Well you are now, but somehow I really don’t believe that you've never been jealous before.” She shook her head, “I told you about Andrew and how wicked he was and how he could only get off by oral sex.”

“And what more?” he asked in that damned devilish Loki voice.

“Start a fire, Thomas and I’ll tell you what you want to know. Although we didn’t have to come here for you to hear it.” She watched Thomas’ back and shoulders ripple under his blue jumper, the muscles in his thighs and ass taut as he lifted the small pieces of kindling adding them to the fireplace to get the flame going. “I was bullied by Andrew. Everyday. Larry apparently wanted to kill me. You have driven me out to only God-knows-where for only you-know-what. Why can’t you see you’re blinded by jea –”

He whirled on her, “So help me if you say I’m jealous one more time –”

“You’ll what?!” She screamed at him. “Beat me?! Whip me?! Torture me?! I’ve been beaten and whipped and tortured!”

He looked at her in shock her expression telling him it was the truth.

“Why can’t you see it, Thomas?!” She sighed deeply, “All of this because I wanted to make the man I care for – and care for deeply have some sexual gratification.” She slapped her hands on the chair arms angrily, “But Nooooo! You had to go and get all pissy and _jealous!_ And fucking Ayyyyy yes I said it! Now what the hell you gonna do about it?!”

Thomas hissed, “Minge!”

She reached up and slapped him. “I took being called names by Andrew, but I’ll be damned if I put up with it from you!” Tears were streaming and her voice was raw with emotion. “I _thought_ we had something special. I bared my soul to you! I _thought_ we were friends and very good ones. The last time I felt remotely anything like I feel for you was with a man I fell in love with when I was fifteen. I’ll go to my grave believing he died because of me. I believe with all my heart that my father and my uncle murdered him because of what they _thought_ he was doing with me.” She wept, her body shaking with emotion. There was so much she wanted to tell him. She knew she loved this man but there was no way that he would believe her now.

“Looks like I better cut my losses now, every man you get involved with dies.”

“To hell with you!” She screamed as she slapped him again then made for the door.

He caught her before she got three steps away. “Oh, no you don’t! Desai, so help me if I have to I’ll tie you to that fucking chair!”

"Let me go!" she screamed as she fought against his hold.

"You will do as I tell you!" He whirled her around, “Now get your ass over there and sit the fuck down!” he yelled as he swatted her bottom – _hard_. “You _are not_ going anywhere! And you _are not_ leaving me! Now get that ass of yours in that goddamn chair!”

She gave him a dirty look as he not-so-gently gave her a shove then said calmly, but in a deadly quiet tone through narrowed eyes, “You just started a game you may not win, Thomas.”

“What do you mean by that?” he asked with a shit-eating grin.

She faced him over her shoulder, “Engage le jeu que je le gagne,” she spoke in perfect French making sure he knew she was serious; with the phrase, that means: Start the game so I can win it.

Thomas stared at her registering what she said, and she continued, “Let’s have a show-and-tell sometime and see who begs first shall we?” She was dead serious as she slowly turned and stared into his eyes, “ _I know how to make a man who loved and got off on pain whimper and beg for me to stop.”_

That sobered him a bit. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, _Thomas_ , that Andrew taught me how to withstand pain and how to dole it out in measure so that the pain was prolonged for his pleasure. Do I need to show you fucking pictures,” she yelled. “You’re not a teenager, Thomas, so stop acting like one. I’m not an angel and neither are you. Neither of us is perfect. I don’t expect perfection – I do – and so do you – expect honesty. I’m willing to give you all the honesty you want and more. You asked about the man that I believe my father and uncle killed. You still want to know? Because after I do – Thomas– I’m gone.”

He nodded once.

“Paul and I never went farther than heavy petting, he was a lot like you actually. He was a ginger with sky blue eyes and a touch that sent me to Heaven. Just like you do.” She met his eyes as he kept staring at her. “However, not even he ever made me feel the way you do. I don’t understand how you feel, because I have no jealousy of the women that came before me; I love them all because each one taught you how to do the things you do.” She took a deep breath, “And someone certainly taught you how to touch a woman and to do so correctly.”

He shook his head and gazed into the fire, “You must believe I am an evil man. I’ve never felt this way. This blackness that is almost blinding in its intensity and a roiling hot feeling like acid or burning coals in my stomach – the emotion is so strong that—”

“You’re not evil, Thomas,” she said with a long sigh. “Jealous. Yes, you are. It happens.” She shrugged. “Sometimes when we least expect it. I am so sorry that I caused it.”

He let out a long sigh, his body relaxed, his anger suddenly gone, “Desai, you didn’t cause anything. Darling, it was me and the images that flew through my mind when I saw you with that riding crop, the way you were touching me. I knew it was not your first time and at that moment I became furious and hated the man who taught you all those things. And it didn’t matter that he was dead. Because _I_ wanted to be the one to teach you how to pleasure me.”

“You still can. I want to know what you like because I want to know how to pleasure you. I want you to know how much I care about you.”

He looked back into her eyes as she wept. “Desai, tell me true, did I hurt you?” he asked softly coming over to squat in front of the chair gathering her hands in his large ones.

“No, you scared me, but you did not hurt me.” She searched his eyes trying to find something that would keep her with him. She – no matter what she had said – didn’t want to leave him behind. She knew in her heart he was **_the_** one. There would never be another.

“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for the things I said to you, the name I called you, the things I’ve done. Please forgive me,” he said as he knelt and placed his head in her lap, then looked up into her eyes.

“You are forgiven, Thomas,” she said as she gently tangled her fingers in his hair. And she meant it as she pulled his head up for a kiss.

“Will you stay here with me tonight?” he asked gently as he pulled back breathless lightly tracing his thumb across her hand.

“Yes.” _I would walk through hot coals for you. I care that deeply for you._ She took a deep breath and asked, “Do you still want to know about Andrew?”

He lifted her up from the chair then sat with her on his lap as he hugged her tenderly. “That depends.”

“On what?” she asked softly.

“Whether or not you will still leave. I feel a connection to you, Desai. I do feel as if our lives and yes our hearts are meant to be together, but if you’re going to leave. Then please, don’t tell me anymore.”

She tenderly caressed his face, “I feel for you very deeply and we’ve just begun our relationship. I want to know everything there is to know about you. Your likes. Your hates.” She shook her head. “I – don’t think I – I can’t leave you unless you ask me to go.”

“Okay then. Yes. I want to know everything. Maybe then this horrible feeling will go away. I know he’s dead but still, I want to know about how you – you and him.”

She gazed into his blue-green orbs, “Andrew, needed pain – _lots of it_ – to feel pleasure. He used to make me bind him in specially made corsets, sometimes so tightly that I feared he couldn’t breathe. He loved for me to bite him and I don’t mean the kind of nips you gave me last night. And hit him. Punch him. I used to leave his thighs raw from the use of cat-o-nine-tails. His balls and body bruised. I hated it, but it was better than the alternative.”

“What was the alternative?” he asked as he lightly traced her jaw.

“Pain.” She looked away and then back at him, “Not all the scars I have are from the wreck. And not all of them can be seen. Most are internal and I am very afraid that those will never fade.”

“I’m so sorry, love, and I didn’t help with my actions tonight, did I?”

_Be honest with him._ “No.” She took a deep breath and began, “But, you are nothing like him.”

He nodded, “Yes, I am. I drove like a maniac and I did so just to scare you. I became jealous because of the images and thoughts of him giving you pleasure.”

“No. You. Are. Not. You in no way shape or form are anything like _Andrew Alexander_. And he **_never_** gave me any kind of pleasure.”

Thomas shook his head, as he was about to speak, Desai silenced him with a gentle finger to his lips as she continued her story. “The only pleasure I’ve ever had sexually has been from you. I was scared last night, but I knew you wouldn’t hurt me. I never knew until you how beautiful sex could be. Even though it did hurt a little at first.” She looked into the fire as she continued, “I told you about how young I was when I married Andrew. It’s hard for me to believe that my parents signed for me. He used to tell me that he _owned_ me.” She hung her head and wept. “I didn’t understand that until …”

Thomas gathered her tightly to him. “You are so very strong. So independent. That’s why – I – care for you so much.” He paused a moment then said, “You don’t have to tell me, Desai.”

She touched his face, and smiled, “Yes, I do. All of it. I care for you very, very much. I know we’ve both been hurt, and I know that the feelings we have for each other could grow into a deeper bond and I want that.” She shook her head, “I may not ever be able to say that little four-letter word, Thomas, but know that with every beat of my heart I care more and more.

“And I’m hoping that you feel the same way but be that as it may I want complete honesty between us.” She caressed his face as he nodded then continued the agonizing story of her relationship with her late husband.

“I was still grieving for Paul when Andrew swept me off my feet. Literally. Which was something for an overweight girl like I was at that time. He was so strong. I never questioned him as to why me? But he knew exactly what he was doing.” She shook her head hesitant to tell the entire story, but she knew Thomas would know if she neglected to tell him the whole lot. “Could I have some water?” She asked suddenly finding her throat parched.

“Absolutely, love.”

She watched as he pumped the old-fashioned pump and clear and cold water came running out of the spout. He filled a glass, taking it to her, Desai took it as he gently pulled her onto his lap. I stood so that he could sit again, and he gently pulled me onto his lap. “Thank, you.” As she looked around, “Is there a bathroom?”

He pointed to a door across the room. “Take the candle with you.”

Desai examined herself in the candlelight realizing she was a mess as she tried to smooth her hair and wipe her face free of the tear stains. “Thank you again,” she said as she reentered the main room.

“You’re welcome, my love.” All the anger he had felt was gone replaced by compassion and tenderness. “Again, darling I am so very sorry.”

She kissed his temple, “Shhh, Thomas.” She took a breath and continued, “As I said I was barely sixteen and knew very little about intimacy and sex. I mean I knew what sex was, I had seen plenty of animals mating and other than what my cousin did to me when I was five – I really had no idea how it worked between a woman and a man, not really anyway. To say I was shocked is an understatement. I told you I was raped and required surgery at the age of five. I guess Andrew thought that after all that that he need not worry about me being able to have sex.

“He freaked when he saw the blood. He went nuts. Slapping me. Screaming at me. Like it was my fault.” She sighed, “That’s when I learned that my father had sold me to Andrew to cover his debts. That’s why he made sure to let me know he _owned_ me.” She gesticulated wildly, “I didn’t know I was a virgin! I honestly didn’t know because no one would talk to me about what the doctor had done. I was just told to be a ‘good girl’ and I did my best.

“My mom, she made sure that I knew all men were different and that each one treated women differently. She cried so hard when Paul was found dead. I think she knew. She reminded me that the way he treated me was the way a man was supposed to treat a woman. She told me to make sure that I did everything Andrew told me to do. I remember nodding at her, not realizing exactly what she meant, but it wasn’t long until I found out.”

He became serious. “Desai, I’ve heard enough, really and truly I have. I don’t want you to relive the Hell that – that – man put you through. So, please, believe me, love, I’ve heard enough.”

She nodded, “Okay, but don’t you dare become jealous again.”

“I can’t promise that. I can promise I will never get jealous over Andrew again.”

“Fair enough,” she said smiling at him.

“What about you, don’t you get jealous?”

“No,” she gave him her most gentle smile as she caressed his jawline. “I get even,” as she made a snipping motion. “Thomas, I was raised on a farm. I know how to castrate all kinds of things and in at least two ways.”

His expression was comical, and she nearly fell off his lap laughing. “Oh, Thomas! I could never do that to you! However, I would tie you up and whip that ass until you promise not to flirt with anyone else. That. I would do.”

He opened his mouth closed it then opened it again. He groaned, “How much longer until I can make love to you.”

“Aww, poor baby. I’ll be back to normal – well as normal as I get – in about three days. My periods only last about three or four days, they’re usually very light. Although, I do have horrible cramps.”

They talked about the house and what it was used for; one-night-stands mostly, she didn’t ask him to elaborate. He spoke to Desai about his upcoming interviews and photoshoots with Desai being surprised that he asked her to go with him. He wanted her to get used to the sometimes crazy schedule he had. He was asking her about the best time to visit the lodge when he heard her softly snoring. He grinned to himself as he stood with her in his arms and carried her upstairs to the bedroom. Seems she loved to fall sleep in his arms. _Well, that’s something I could get used to._

She awakened the next morning in the king-sized brass bed with Thomas’ limbs wrapped around her; she snuggled into him feeling his erection at the small of her back. She turned slightly to check if he was asleep or only feigning. He was asleep, so at peace, he looked angelic. Her thoughts, however, were not in the least angel-like at all.

She ever so slowly moved down the length of him until her face was at his crotch. She needed – wanted him to know that she wasn’t doing this because she felt she had to, but because she wanted to. She wanted him – all of him and she needed to taste him. Again. Using her right hand, she gently released him.

Desai smiled as he made a soft moan and rolled onto his back. _Just the position I need you in._ She smiled, _my God but he was glorious!_ She tenderly touched the sensitive head of his cock with her tongue removing the drop of pre-cum that was there, she gave a long lick from the base to the tip of the now throbbing and leaking appendage then dared a look at his face and smiled; he was now awake. “I want this, Thomas. I want you.”

He nodded and said, “May I get a bit more comfortable love?”

Desai nodded as she removed her clothes while he moved to sit up then she moved between his legs. She was not going to leave an inch of his glorious body untouched or untasted as she began kissing, licking, and nibbling his beautiful feet then moving slowly upward from there to his ankle, calf, inner knee, smiling as he moaned in the most delicious way.

“I can see why you like to hear me moan my need for you, Thomas,” she whispered against his inner thigh. “Hearing you makes me bolder and lets me know that you want me – that you need me. That you like what I’m doing.” She continued on with her exploration mimicking what he had done to her the night before; she nibbled, kissed, and licked everywhere but his cock. When he kept arching upward she smiled at him and made sure he saw her as she took almost all of him into her mouth.

“Oh, God, Desai! I need to touch you!” he moaned.

Desai offered a hand upward so that he could intertwine his fingers with hers as she pulled up from his base she said, “You can touch me, Thomas. I would love to feel your fingers in my hair.”

He tangled his long fingers in her long light brown curls and began to slowly fuck her mouth, it wasn’t long however under her ministrations that he was pumping harder and faster. She felt him swell and knew before he moaned, “I’m cumming!”

She licked him clean savoring his taste just as he had hers then slowly crawled up his body until they were face to face. “You taste so good,” she whispered as she smiled at him just before he captured her lips in a soul burning kiss tasting himself on her tongue.

Desai wondered, _would he ever know how much I love him?_

When their lips parted she spoke solemnly as she softly said, “Thomas, I wish I could explain how your eyes and the sound of your voice gives me butterflies. How your smile makes my heart skip a beat and how every time I’m with you, I feel complete.”

“Love, you make me weep. You are so unique. Stay with me. Travel with me. Allow me to show you the world as you’ve never seen it. I want the world to know we are together.” He turned his head slightly to look at her as she shared his pillow.

“I’ll go with you wherever you want me to go, Thomas.” Desai grinned.

“Oh, no – what?”

She pulled a face. “I think you already know me too well. I’ll need someone to help me pick out the clothes.”

“And the lingerie,” he added.

“Of course,” she smiled as she gave him another kiss.

The tabloids had a field day as pictures of their late-night escape was splattered all over the front pages. Desai was labeled as being used for monetary gain, to cursing him and his career. Social media and many of Tom’s fans hated her. They were both warned by Tom’s publicist, but Tom didn’t care and he told him so.

The paparazzi loved seeing them together as it was fodder for more stories, no matter how true or untrue those stories might be.

As they sat having lunch they both knew they were being watched. Desai smiled at him, “So the play starts tonight. And you’ve still not told me what it is. Are you going to make me wait until I see you on stage?”

“Yes. And you’re going to be going into the theater through the back door so you can’t see the marquee.”

Just then her phone rang, when she checked it she noticed it was the vice-president of her company. “Hello, Richard. What’s wrong?” Tom watched as her expression changed. “Why do I have to be there? Can we not do it by conference video?” She sighed, “Well, day after tomorrow, night flight is the earliest I can leave.” She made a face, “You’re right I don’t want to. I shouldn’t have to. – I understand that I am the owner and I have interviewed several candidates for the job of CEO.” – “Make the meeting for next Monday. That will give me time to get everything organized and time for you to gather all the regional managers at the conference center in Atlanta. I will make sure all the candidates for CEO are there.” – “Well, that’s what you’re getting whether you like it or not. Right now I still call the shots and I’m calling this one. Rant all you want – but this is how it’s happening. Have a good day, Richard. Bye.”

“Everything all right, darling?” Thomas asked as he sipped his coffee admiring how she took control of the situation.

“They, meaning President, Vice-President, and a few regional managers want to pick the new CEO. So I gave them time to get all the regionals together and then we’ll pick. I’ll need to leave next Sunday night.” She was trying to read his expression. “I’m sorry, I should have talked to you about it first before I made a decision.”

“No, Desai. I understand – really I do. You are doing your level best to allow another to take over and I admire you for that. It means a lot to me to know that you are doing this in part for me – for us.” He reached across the table and gathered her hand in his. “I appreciate it truly I do.”

“When do you need to leave for Atlanta or have they told you yet?”

“I will need to be there on the first of February.”

“I can postpone my –”

“No, I should have said something sooner. I’ve just had a lot on my mind. Allison has – is not making this week easy,” he admitted.

“I already knew that. You talk sometimes in your sleep.”

**A week later**

**Sunday Morning**

“You mean the world to me, Thomas, never forget that, for me, you are my earendel.”

“I’ve not heard that word. What does it mean?” He asked as he tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear.

“Brightest of angels who carries the morning star.”

“Love, I’m no angel.” He smiled as he moved slightly to kiss her. “I miss you now and you’ve not yet left. I will text you every day, love.”

“You better,” she said as she brushed her hands up his sides pulling him closer. “Because I’ll set your English Countryside on fire when I do see you again if you don’t.”

Thomas gave one of his ‘ehehehehehe’ to Desai and saw the pilot, but damn it the flight could wait until he was finished kissing her and kissing her thoroughly.

“Not meaning to interrupt Ms. Alexander but we do need to get going,” the Captain said as he waited for them to part lips.

“Captain, you take care of her, she’s precious cargo,” Thomas said grinning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love playing with these guys.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter -- kitchen sex

**February 9 th, 2021**

**Fayetteville, Georgia**

“Wow,” Desai said as she looked at all the messages on Tom’s phone. “You have really touched a lot of people’s lives.”

“It’s overwhelming,” he said with a smile.

“You love it though because without your fans you’d still be an actor but probably be a fairly unknown actor.”

“Exactly,” he said giving her a hug. “So, what did you get me for my birthday?”

She gave him an innocent gaze as she said, “Oh, that’s what all those messages are for? I thought they were Valentine’s Day wishes.”

“Desai, I know that look. What have you done?” he asked nervously. In the last two weeks since their huge argument that had almost caused her to leave she had shown a new facet of herself. She had opened up and had begun to play pranks on him. Some fairly good ones too he had to admit.

_Vaseline on his car doors._

_Peanut butter under his windshield wipers knowing he would get soaked trying to get it off._

_Slugs in his shoes!_

_Blue dye in his shower on his last day at the theater in London. After she had left!_

He grinned, he’d looked like a smurf with black hair! And she was the only one thus far to beat him at Scrabble! How she did it he did not know or understand but that woman knew more words than a dictionary!

“What pray tell makes you think I’ve done anything?” she asked in her horrible British accent as she headed toward the kitchen leaving him sitting on their emperor-sized bed.

_What was she up to?_ Thomas got up and followed her; unlike her he had not bothered to shower or get dressed, he still wore his joggers and shorts with, what seemed like, his ever-present blue jumper, and running shoes.

“Desai?” he called as he moved down the stairs and into the kitchen. _Where the hell did she go,_ he thought as he continued to look for her. The house was so big that they had had a fun game of hide and seek just a couple of days ago. “Come out come out wherever you are!” he called as he moved through the kitchen and down the hall toward the formal dining room. Opening the door, which was strange – it was usually open – he saw her and then he saw everyone else.

“Surprise!” they all yelled.

Diana came over and gave him a hug as did his sisters and father, then his co-workers and the rest of the crew. He gave Desai a breathtaking smile as he hugged her to his chest. “I cannot believe you did this, and everyone kept it secret.” Then he whispered, “That’s a naughty thing to do. You need a spanking for that.”

She blushed crimson. “That will have to wait until our guests have gone home,” she whispered back and then led him into the ballroom where a huge buffet had been set up for brunch that included a birthday cake.

“I don’t know what to say. I wasn’t expecting anything like this,” Thomas said as his voice caught with emotion. “I do however appreciate it very, very much.”

She had told everyone that no gifts were required just their presence but of course no one listened. There were new shoes, shirts, ties, patterned socks, cuff links, a gold necklace, a new watch, and a signet ring for his right hand.

They all sat, ate, and had rip-roaring time with charades, which Thomas won, stories about him when he was growing up and just all-around fun that ended with a movie and drinks. It ended early because Thomas had an early call to be on set at four in the morning.

“I won’t wake you when I leave, love,” he whispered against her neck as he snuggled against her.

“I’d be happy to get up and make you breakfast. I know that’s your favorite meal.”

“You would do that? At three in the morning?”

She turned in his arms until she faced him. “Thomas, I would and more and you need not ask.” She caressed his face and searched his eyes and found a bit of sadness there. “What’s wrong? You’ve been masking something all day. Please tell me, earendel.”

He sighed and hugged her closer as he softly spoke, “I’m getting old. I’m forty and have done one character for most of my acting career.”

“And you have done that character more than justice. You have brought Loki back to life. I daresay that if the God of Mischief does truly exist then he would be proud of the job you have done. I’m proud of you. Plus, after _Loki_ wraps up you begin work in London. You’ll be home.”

“Ahh, love, don’t you know? Whenever I’m with you … I am home.” Thomas kissed her deeply, tenderly then said, “Three A. M. is going to come sooner than I wish. So, let’s get some sleep, love.”

She woke up with Thomas’ arms around her, by the dim numbers on the bedside clock it was 2:30 A.M. She slowly, so as not to wake him, maneuvered out of his warmth and headed for the kitchen. He was scheduled for a busy day, so he needed a full breakfast. Scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon, potatoes, and toast. She also made some French toast, just in case he wanted something sweet.

Thomas could smell the food as the delicious scent wafted up from the kitchen making his mouth water as he exited the shower and began to get dressed.

“You’ve been busy,” he said as he entered the kitchen then began to place kisses on Desai’s neck.

“I wanted to make sure you ate a good breakfast and not just a pastry. Besides, I enjoy cooking for you.” She gave him a hug watching as he filled a plate and she filled a mug with coffee for him adding a splash of Almond milk receiving a smile from him.

“You’re going to be in Atlanta all day?” he asked.

“Probably.” She nodded and said, “I’m helping to teach an onboard computer class today. And I also have a couple of deliveries to make.” She sighed, “I should be home around three, depending on traffic.”

“I wish you didn’t have to – if you want to work – I could –”

This was becoming an old argument. “Thomas, I enjoy what I do. It gives the new employees a chance to meet an owner that’s not afraid to get her hands dirty.” She hugged him from behind as he tucked into the breakfast and coffee. “I would love to work where you work but to tell you the truth I think I would get bored and I know I would be more than a little distracted by you and you by me, we’d be finding places so that we could be alone. You guys sit around a lot as things get set up. I like to be moving.” She traced her hands up his sides causing him to wiggle a bit as she hit his ticklish spots. “I love when you do that,” she whispered against his neck lightly biting under his hairline then licking the spot.

“You keep that up and the whole house will be awake, and I really do not care for my mother to see me _In flagrante delicto_.” He raised a brow at her.

“Well, I can’t help it I didn’t get to give you your birthday love session – or as you put it- a bang so hard we would need to exchange insurance information.”

“Woman, you are –”

“What? Insatiable? Incorrigible? I get that from you. We could have a quickie in the car on the way.”

“I don’t want a quickie.” He looked at the clock on the wall. “However, a quickie is better than how I’m going to be feeling if I don’t get some of that sweet and tight little quim.”

“Pull down your pants,” she ordered as she lifted her knee-length sleep shirt.

“You little minx! You had this planned,” he exclaimed as he noticed she had no panties on.

“Yes, and you love it. Now, put that huge cock of yours to good use and fuck me,” she said as she guided him into her entrance and she sank down onto him. They both moaned lowly. “I’ll be quiet if you will,” she said as she began to move.

She leaned in to capture his lips as he felt her hips move in circles then up and down. He kissed her deeply then his lips captured one of her nipples and he suckled first one then the other. Slowly he moved his right hand up grasping her neck then he slowly moved it down between them, using his thumb he began softly rubbing her clit.

Desai threw her head back allowing for more room for his hand to do its magic. Oh, he was magic. It didn’t matter where they were or what they were doing Tom Hiddleston was pure magic. She leaned back in to his face and then whispered, “Harder, baby, harder. I’m almost there.”

“Me too, love. Cum with me, Desai. Please, cum with me,” he moaned in her hair as he rubbed her clit between his thumb and forefinger. “That’s it, darling, oh yes,” he whispered into her neck just before he bit down.

Desai almost screamed as her climax hit her hard wracking her body with shudders as she felt him explode inside her. They sat there breathing heavily and staring into each other’s eyes.

“That was intense, love.” Thomas’s breathing hitched as he breathed in Desai’s scent.

“I need your registration and proof of insurance, sir,” Desai said in mock seriousness. “You’ve torn up my pussy and now you’ll have to fix it.”

Thomas giggled like a schoolboy and removed her from his lap as she handed him paper towels to clean himself up with. “I promise – I promise – I’ll fix your – my pussy – upon my return, dear lady. We can’t have my favorite mewling quim broken.”

“It had better be the _only_ mewling quim you have.” She grinned at him then spoke quietly, “Let me clean you up, Thomas. I don’t want you smelling like sex when you go to work.”

He chuckled a little, “Why ever not?”

“Would you want me to go to work smelling like sex?”

“Definitely not. Men have a – ahh. I understand love. Give me those paper towels.”

Twenty-five minutes later, disheveled but sated Desai and Thomas sat holding each other.

She walked him to the door giving his tight ass a squeeze as she whispered, “Thomas, have a great day at work.”

“Oh, I will, love,” he murmured as he kissed her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am having so much fun with these two!


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine's Escapades -- sex -- funny argument -- sex

**Valentine’s Week**

**Monday, February 10 th **

**10 hours after Breakfast – 1:30 pm**

“Ma’am, are you alright?” Ron, the driver for Desai asked as he saw her making her way out of the wheelchair and into the vehicle from the Emergency Room.

“I – it’s been a hell of a day, Ron. I’ll be glad when I get home! I hate Valentine’s Day! Not that this had anything to do with Valentine’s Day, still … All this stupid stuff!” she huffed as she got into the SUV. “Please don’t say anything to Thomas about this.”

“I won’t, Ma’am. You don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day?” he asked.

“No, Ron, and please call me Desai. I’ve not gotten anything since my days in elementary school and rarely then. If you care about someone you don’t have to have a special day to let them know. You just show it every day!”

Ron became quiet as he drove toward the home that Ms. Alexander owned and shared with her boyfriend, Tom Hiddleston, whom he also drove for. He wondered if he should let Mr. Hiddleston know how his girlfriend felt about Valentine’s Day. He knew without her saying so that it was not his place to mention the accident that had happened; no that was up to Ms. Alexander.

A few hours later when Ron opened the SUV’s door for Tom, he said, “Sir, may I speak with you about something?”

Tom looked at him strangely, wondering what was on the man’s mind. “Of course. Ron, isn’t it?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Please, it’s just Tom.”

“Tom. Were you aware that Ms. Alexander hates Valentine’s Day?”

Tom was shocked and it showed. “Wot? Wot, woman doesn’t like Valentine’s Day?”

“Ms. Alexander. She told me so. She said that she’d never gotten anything and that it was a waste of time and money and that if you cared about someone you should show them every day and not have one day a year to do it. I’m sorry I maybe should have kept it to myself, but her being as sweet and caring as she is – I couldn’t. I had to let you know.”

Tom smiled at the man, “I’m glad you did. Letting me know probably saved an argument. Nevertheless, I will celebrate Valentine’s Day with Desai.”

The delicious smell of roasting chicken and vegetables filled his nostrils as Thomas made his way from the fourteen foot porch, through the large double doors and foyer into the main living room and from there into the kitchen of the Antebellum styled home which would soon be under what Desai called a ‘facelift’ to make it look like a Victorian Mansion.

“Hello, mum, da’, Sarah, Emma, Desai, and where’s the munchkins?” he asked expecting Bobby to be bouncing up and down for attention.

Desai raised from her bent position at the stove and said, “Munchkins and all were headed to watch a movie, Bobby included. So, they’re either there or in the game room.” She knew she sounded slightly fractious. Hell, she was!

Everyone – including Thomas’ family – had talked about Valentine’s Day as if it were Christmas! A day dedicated to love and romance!

_Why not every day?!_

_And screw it why not the same for Christmas?!_

She knew she was in a bad mood. Her day had been horrible.

She hurt all over, looked like a pincushion because none of the nurses could find a vein, and all she wanted was a hug, but Thomas seemed to not notice her.

_Well, you can’t blame him there, he so rarely gets to see his family._

She turned to assist Rosita and Emilia as they were preparing the dough for homemade bread and rolls for supper. She dared a glance at Thomas as he laughed at something his sister had said, he turned his head and caught her eye. She smiled a small smile and looked away.

Thomas knew that look and he realized he should have hugged her right away as he made his way over to her. He smiled knowing that there was no way for her to balk at his hug since her hands were wrist-deep in dough. He wrapped those long arms around her and pulled her back against his front as he whispered, “I’m sorry, darling. I rarely see my family and when I do –”

“Shhh, Thomas,” she began, understanding that these times with his family were precious, “I understand, earendel. I do. I’m sorry. I had a horrible day. I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”

“You didn’t take anything out on me.” Thomas squeezed her and she flinched. “What’s the matter?” he asked as his hands flew back slightly.

She sighed, “Thomas, it’s been a long and horrible day. It’s a long story and you’re not going to like it, but please don’t get mad at me, sweetheart.” She knew how he was, he was protective of those he considered to be his and she knew he cared about her and that sometimes showed up as anger because he felt helpless about not being able to keep her from harm.

Thomas’ voice became stern as he cupped her face and turned her toward him, releasing her when he saw the bruises. “My, God, Desai! What the fuck happened?” His eyes searched her bruised face and arms.

Diana spoke up, and said in a scolding tone, “Someone played a horrible practical joke and she got hurt. It’s not her fault and do not talk to her that way.”

He hadn’t realized he had sounded so callous. “I’m sorry, darling. I’m just concerned about your welfare.”

“I know that. Let me get this dough off my hands and we’ll sit and talk about it, okay?”

He nodded and stepped away, now noticing that she was favoring her left side. This had better be a damn good story.

_Why wasn’t I called?!_

_Because you’ve never told her to contact you if anything ever happened._

_I am a fucking idiot!_

Desai started to sit at the table with Thomas’ family, but he gently guided her to the library, and they sat on the loveseat and faced each other. “Now young lady,” he said as if he was an old and wizened man, “tell me what happened.”

She wanted to roll her eyes at his tone, but instead, “Some idiot, Travis Seahorn is his name, while I was in the cab of one of the rigs, doing my job training a new driver about the onboard computer system,” she gesticulated with her hands, “either oiled the grips and steps or greased them. I couldn’t hold on and I fell. Simple as that.”

Thomas became furious, “You could have been killed! A fall like that from that height, had you landed wrong, hit your head … you could have broken your neck –”

She couldn’t help but notice how his face became colored with anger, reaching up she caressed his reddened cheek. “I’m bruised, love, that’s all. When I realized what was happening I just went on instinct. I curled and covered my head and landed on my left side.” She sighed, “I was taken to the E.R. and nothing is broken. I do have some deep bruising, but you’ve seen me in worse shape. Anyway, Travis was caught on camera. He’s someone who has caused problems in the past and this did it. He’s been fired and has been arrested for being a nuisance and causing a person harm. He’s probably going to be in jail for a while.”

“And well he should be. Oh, love,” he murmured against her neck as he motioned for her to get in his lap. “If anything, ever happens again, God forbid, call the studio or wherever I am because I want to know. Okay?”

She nodded. “I was going to, but I didn’t know if it would be okay or not. The last thing I want to do is mess up your career in any way shape or form.” She sighed, “Everyone already thinks I’ve cursed you and your career. I went on Twitter for a bit today. A lot of your fans hate me.”

“Darling,” he whispered as he cupped her face. “You’ve got my number I don’t care where I am or what I’m doing – you call me if you need me – no matter what. And don’t worry about my fans, our relationship is ours to do with as we please.” He traced her right arm and saw the bruises from the numerous failed attempts at starting a drip. “It seems you are always bruised when I get amorous.”

“You’ve put some of those bruises on me yourself and I know you mean horny.” She sighed and grinned, “but you’re always horny, Thomas.”

“Yes, I am. When you’re within my sight,” he said with a smirk. “I daresay that with you around I’m in a perpetual state of hardness.”

She laughed into his neck as she shook her head.

After supper most of their guests – and she considered them their guests because Thomas and she were living together and as far as she was concerned this house was as much his home as it was hers – were watching movies. Thomas stayed with her in the kitchen, helping with cleaning up which she was wondering about. He never turned down movies with friends and family.

“Darling, why do you hate Valentine’s Day?” he asked quietly.

Desai looked over her shoulder at him as she washed another plate, realizing that this was the reason he had stayed with her. “Who told you that?” she questioned because everyone that knew her knew how she felt about various holidays. _Most of them were so commercialized it was ridiculous!_

Thomas smiled and gave one of his ‘ehehehehehe’ at her expression. “I’m sworn to secrecy, love. Look, I know you’ve said that you don’t care for all the business around Valentine’s Day, but darling, would you be my Valentine?” he asked as he moved toward her.

She smiled and shook her head in amusement as she leaned against Thomas’s warm body as his arms wrapped around her from behind. She finished washing and drying the last plate from supper then turned around in his arms. “Thomas, I’ve never celebrated Valentine’s Day, not since elementary school. No one’s ever given me anything. So, tell me, Thomas William, what does being your Valentine include?” she asked with a smirk.

“Well, Desai Olivia,” smirking right back, “flowers. A card. Dinner.” He pulled her closer making sure their bodies touched from chest to thighs, then murmured against her neck, “Lots of _coït_ and _un orgasme_. Or four,” with a little sideways movement of his head.

She laughed although not entirely from amusement but because even with the short time they had been together he understood her; he knew what she liked and what she really liked and how to push all those buttons that turned her on.

Especially that feigned innocence he did so well, that boyish smile that was so much like Oakley or William Buxton, even Magnus, his oh so soft lips and then he knew how well she loved French.

She smiled up at him, “Okay, Thomas. I will be your Valentine. _Veux-tu être ma Valentine_?”

“ _Oui mon seul et unique_ ,” he said with a broad smile leaning in to give another kiss, this one deeper, longer, and more demanding a prelude to what was to come.

She always gave a little squeak when Thomas lifted her into his arms, she supposed it was a residual feeling from being overweight as a young woman because she always felt too heavy for him to lift her. With Thomas though it seemed effortless for him to carry her up those stairs to their bedroom and to lay her down so gently it was almost like a feather landing. Before she could say anything else, he became the hunter and she the prey as his big cat façade took over and he began crawling on top of her.

It may have been February and winter outside, but with Thomas radiating heat it was if she was in the Sahara sun suddenly too hot for her clothes, and the kisses they were sharing did not help to diminish any of that heat. She felt as if she would spontaneously combust. Thomas’ kisses became quick, hot, and more intense with each one as his lips claimed hers first caressing then demanding and she had no interest in resistance.

When he moved his ministrations down to her jawline, then her neck, and earlobe she knew she was gone, completely trounced and conquered. She could no more prevent the moan that escaped her throat as she threw her head back offering her neck to his kisses, licks, and suckling than she could stop loving him.

She knew without a doubt that she would have more marks, from his nips, sucks, and licks, but she cared not who would see them. She felt his smile as his mouth moved on to more tender places lower to her collarbones as wet, steamy kisses, trailed from one side to the other. The arousal within her grew as his lips stoked the fire that started at her lips and seemed to flame up in her lower abdomen and inside to her core.

Flames, red, orange, and wicked burned, scorching as his hands quickly pulled her shirt off and she returned that favor as his shirt joined hers somewhere on the floor. His skin glistened with a light sheen of sweat, as he inhaled deeply and smiled, “I can smell your arousal love, cannot wait to taste you.”

Thomas moved lower with his kisses and as he reached her stomach, even with the scars, which he made Desai feel were not there at all, she giggled as he reached some of her more ticklish spots. He grinned as she wiggled and tried to move from underneath him. He just shook his head as he pulled a silk scarf from his jeans pocket and gently tied her hands above her head.

She hollered, not caring who heard her, “It tickles, Thomas!” as she continued with her laughter, she heard Thomas laughing too, with that damned ‘ehehehehehe’ of his. And damn him he slowed down! He made sure that he touched every centimeter of her skin until she was reduced to a puddle of laughter beneath him.

Thomas raised up and gave her a heated look that was reminiscent of Thomas Sharpe’s expression to Edith just before they made love, the heat he expressed as he peeled off her jeans was intense as he began to kiss and nibble at her bruised hipbone then down her legs to her thighs, inner knee and even her ankles then back up causing her to moan and arch.

“Thomas,” she pleaded, “please, I need you – I can’t –” moaning, “Thomas, please,” as she pushed her hips toward him trying to make him understand that she needed him – all of him – inside her.

“Desai, I know, I know,” he whispered, his breath raising goosebumps across her skin, as he licked from her inner knee to the junction of her thigh, then murmured, “I know exactly what you want and need love. Desai, trust me, darling, I know what you need.” He moved slowly making his way back up her body hovering using his forearms to keep his weight off her. While searching her eyes his lips seemed to have an agenda of their own as they crashed onto hers. He deftly untied the scarf and let her hands loose.

She responded with pure need as her hands found bare skin and began to caress his back and torso feeling his muscles ripple under her touch, her fingers found his chest and his nipples, and she played there while his tongue gently caressed her lips begging for entrance she acquiesced as she opened her mouth to his gentle but demanding entry. Their tongues danced turning the gentle waltz into a tango that was as fiery as any habanero.

She needed Thomas more than she had ever needed him, but it was always this way, each time he touched her sent her to Heaven. She had never felt this way before – only he had ever made her feel this deep-seated need. And damn him he knew it! Oh, he knew!

In the middle of the kiss, Thomas moved his hand and suddenly his fingers grazed against her panties. Her very wet panties. Then his fingers were rubbing her through the soaked fabric. She bucked her hips up into his large hand and whimpered into his mouth as the kiss continued. God, but this man knew how to tease and make her a whimpering pool of need!

Thomas nibbled her lower lip keeping his mouth moving relentlessly in his caresses, as was his hand as he kept rubbing, fondling, and teasing her with lighter than a feather touches. He couldn’t help but feel how wet she was, and he moaned, “Someone is more than ready.”

She thought that he had taken mercy on her as he pulled back and raised up all the way to the foot of the bed. Desai let out a sigh, but it was short-lived as he leaned in tracing his hands up her outer thighs hooking her panties and dragging them off in one swift motion tossing them over his shoulder to land somewhere on the floor.

Thomas smiled broadly at her as he leaned down once again grabbing her ankles placing them on his shoulders. He saw her anticipation as his head leaned closer, then he smiled as she moaned his name when his hot, oh so hot mouth found her clit. She bucked but he placed his hands on her hips stilling her movements.

When his mouth fitted itself over her most sensitive area, she moaned his name feeling as if she would detonate right there and then – the feeling was exquisite. She couldn’t take her eyes from Thomas’s face between her legs, framed by her thighs, his mouth on her, and his tongue lapping like a kitten lapping cream. Oh, but he was no kitten, oh no this man was a big cat and if that cat had a name he would no doubt be a Jaguar. He refused to let her go or break eye contact, brazen in his pursuit of pleasure both in his and her own. It was pure elation that she felt as those gorgeous ocean-blue-green eyes fixed on her, filled with need and lust as she knew they saw the same in her green ones.

He played her like a violin, his tongue fast as were his fingers as one then another he began thrusting two of those long slender fingers into her shameless body. The relentless sensation and the passion in which he touched her let her know he loved it as much as she did. The delightful moans Thomas was making every now and then vibrated against her sensitive flesh, God but this man! He knew what foreplay was and made every moment count! And he laughed against her wetness happy with how turned on she was by his magical touch, how much she wanted him. And then when she was about to fly apart and claim _la petite mort_. He stopped! Damn him!

“What the fuck – Thomas?! What are you doing?!” she screeched and only got a smirk for her trouble as he gently grabbed her waist and placed her on top of him.

He gave her one of those little ‘ehehehehehe’ of his and said, “I’m having fun with you my precious Valentine.” And because he was being a cheeky bastard and could he added, “And I would like for her to ride me. I know you want to.” He gave her that smirk that fucking smirk that made her fall in love with him every time she saw it.

“Damn right I do,” she said softly. Desai became breathless at the thought of sinking her dripping wet pussy over that engorged cock of his and giving him the fucking ride of his life!

She took her time opening his jeans, and not with her fingers. Oh, no, two could play at this game and he better damn well know it! She undid his belt using her mouth and tongue and then did the same with the button of his jeans. She grinned up at him and playfully slapped his hands away. “No, Thomas.”

His mouth hung open as she flipped his zipper pull up with her tongue and then gripped it with her teeth and pulled it down and when she reached the bottom she sent a hot breath into his boxers that caused a delicious moan. Desai moved off the bed and grabbed the legs of his jeans and tugged as he lifted his hips and off they came and went flying through the air to land, as she saw later, over the mirror on the dresser.

And those poor silk boxers.

Once she was finished with them, they were shredded and only good for the trash. “I’ll buy you some more,” she promised as she settled herself onto his upper thighs. His cock throbbed for attention bobbing between her legs as she looked down upon it, she couldn’t help but notice it was glistening with pre-cum.

She grinned down at him as she sat up then took all of him inside her inch by rigid inch. She slowly allowed herself to adjust to his thickness and length because this was not going to be a gentle Sunday ride in the park. Oh, no this was the fucking Kentucky Derby!

“Oh, love, should I ride you like _Seabiscuit?_ Maybe _Seattle Slew?_ Or _Unbridled?”_ she asked breathlessly as she began to move first rolling her hips in a clockwise motion and then counterclockwise with upward and downward thrusts.

Thomas gently grasped her hips and helped with her movements as she began to rock slowly, wanting to last as long as possible but knowing the inevitable would happen. The only sounds in the room was the sweet sound of their lovemaking, his moans, her heavy breathing, and sighs as the sensations became more intense, more centered as she began to move faster and harder, grinding herself against him.

Thomas moved his hands leaving her to feel bereft until she felt his lips on hers kissing her fervently with his arms wrapped tightly around her. Desai opened her eyes knowing he had sat up unable to take any more of her fevered movements as his pleasure grew also. She smiled as she kissed him back wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist as he began to thrust upward.

The puzzle was now complete as they clutched each other tightly their moans became louder but neither cared who heard. Then … then … the warmth engulfed them, blissful euphoria captured them in its net and pulled them down. They were panting into each other’s mouths, gasping as if their lives depended upon it.

_“Oh, fffuuuccccck! Thomas!”_ she murmured into his ear as the climax brought them up and over the edge.

They stayed connected for a long time, still touching each other gently as their breathing returned to normal they stared into each other’s eyes and smiled as they slightly disentangled themselves slowly and managed to finally lay side-by-side, their legs refusing to untangle as they lay facing each other still staring into each other’s eyes.

Desai smiled at him as his fingers tenderly grasped hers, touching, stroking, then bringing them to his lips to kiss the tips. “What is it, darling?” he asked while smiling broadly, still in his post-orgasmic ecstasy.

“It’s not even Valentine’s Day yet, and yet …”

“Well, I’m starting a new tradition, love. I’m celebrating Valentine’s Week with you. I want to show you how wonderful Valentine’s really is. Oh, love, my Desai. You make me feel young and alive.”

“My God, Thomas! You’re not old! And I do not want to hear you say you are!”

“Desai, I’m thirteen years older than you.”

“So. What if those years were switched? What if I was older than you?”

“I would still feel the same, darling.”

“Age is just a number, Thomas,” she said as she yawned.

They snuggled in close and fell asleep holding hands.

**February 11**

The next morning, they were still holding hands and each other as Thomas’ alarm went off at seven A.M. “What would you like for breakfast?” she asked as his blue eyes popped open and looked at her with a smile.

“You,” he smirked as he scooted closer. “Over easy, if you please.”

She laughed softly then kissed him. “Why not ride me like Captain Nicholls did Joey?” She wiggled her brows. “I mean I basically ran the Kentucky Derby you can at least do the charge.”

“Desai, you are going to be the death of me.”

She smiled brightly, “I know. But what a way to go!” She playfully slapped his arm, “Anyway it’s all your fault!”

“My fault?!” he actually looked confused.

She nodded, “Yes. You were the first to ever make love to me and the first ever to teach me how to make love. You were and remain insatiable. I’m just trying to keep up!” She patted his shoulder and ran her hand down his arm. “You’re going to be late.”

“For once I don’t give a shit,” he said as he gently commanded, “Get on your knees.”

“No, not yet,” Desai said with a grin as she grabbed a scarf that was hanging from the headboard and tied it around her waist. Tom looked at her curiously and she explained, “Gives you something to pull on.” She made a riding motion. Then she gazed at him as she wet her fingers in her mouth and moved them to her pussy, he watched as she opened herself and began to play with her clit. When she reached out for him he leaned down and suckled her nipples pressing them together so that he could lave at both nipples at the same time.

“C’mere, love,” she said as she flipped over onto her hands and knees. Tom wasted no time as he rubbed himself against her wetness and with one smooth and steady push entered her fully. They both moaned at the sensation as he held on to the scarf and reared back penetrating deeper and as he did he hit Desai’s A-spot, her body shuddered as she spurted and her inner walls clutched at him in spasms as her muscles milked him.

“How the fuck did you do that?!” he moaned as he withdrew his now flaccid dick. “Fuck, I didn’t last five minutes!”

Desai laughed as he made a quick run through the shower as she gathered up his dirty clothes then picked out his clothes for the day so that he wouldn’t have to. “Thomas, I’m laying your underwear on the counter darlin’, the rest of your clothes are on the dresser.”

“Thank you, love.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart.”

Breathless, with only five minutes to spare he sat in the makeup chair. His co-star commented, “You look like you’ve ran a marathon.”

Thomas smiled broadly, “Something like that.”

***

Since Thomas had said that he was celebrating Valentine’s week instead of just the day then he’d get a surprise. Desai had never realized that Valentine’s Day was such a big deal, to her it was just another day. This shopping trip had been a very interesting one thus far. However, given the holiday she supposed it wasn’t that strange after all. 

Desai had sneaked away from everyone into her craft room and was able to do some searching and ordered more than a few things from _Amazon, Esty,_ and _eBay._ And all of them were _guaranteed_ to be delivered the next day, or, on or before Valentine’s Day.

Thomas had let her know that he had always loved Valentine’s Day no matter if he was in a relationship or not. He was in love with the day that was solely devoted to love in love’s every form. He had told her that when he was younger, he had always exchanged the often cheesy and tacky prewritten Valentines at school as Desai did for a while, but she hated those memories; they were just too painful.

Diana had always made sure he and his sisters had chocolates and a single red rose, she had told Desai that this year would be no different. So, he was getting those things from his mother. _What should I get him?_

Not finding what she was looking for at the mall, she searched for and found a couple of specialty shops and then called to see if they had what she was looking for. They had her sizes but could not be for certain unless she came by the shop.

What the first shop had was very close to what she was looking for, green satin with black lace, and it would work with just a bit of tweaking. Just for shits and giggles, she went by the other shop to check out their wares. And that’s where she found the corset to match the bra and panty set, she had just purchased. And let’s not forget the black silk stockings. Perfect!

She made another stop to pick up the lace and other things she needed for her little Valentine’s Day surprise. Once home she headed for her craft room to begin the final touches on her Lady Loki surprise for Friday night. She looked at the time when her reminder alarm went off and knew Thomas would be home soon. She tucked her surprises into a drawer then headed for the kitchen. Thomas always headed for the kitchen first thing when he got home he always wanted a ‘biscuit’ or ‘pudding.’ Today was no different.

“Hello, everyone,” Thomas called out as he entered the kitchen. “I would like for you to meet Owen Wilson, we’re working together.”

Desai turned from the cake she was icing and greeted them, “Welcome Owen, I’m Desai,” she said as she opened her arms for a hug. “Will you be staying here with us, Owen? Thomas, did you have a good day, love?” she asked as she turned and gave him a hug.

“I had a great day, love.”

Owen spoke, “No. I have a rental for the time I’ll be here.” He looked around in admiration then spoke, “Tom is nonstop about this place and you.”

She raised a brow, “Really?”

“Oh, yeah, he goes on and on about your cooking and the work you do. He told the crew about what happened yesterday. Which I can see must have hurt pretty bad from the looks of your arm,” he said as he motioned to her left arm.

The whole time Owen was talking Desai was smiling because instead of seeing him she was seeing Thomas doing an impersonation of him.

Thomas squeezed her waist and said, “I’m thankful that it wasn’t worse.”

She squeezed him back, “Me too.” She gestured to the table where Thomas’ family was sitting having tea and scones. “Owen, would you like something to drink? Coffee, tea, a soda? We also have beer or if you would like something else?”

“Coffee is fine,” he said politely as he sat at the table chatting with Thomas’ family.

She disengaged from the warmth of Thomas’ arms and got the man a mug, “Thomas, do you want tea?”

“Yes, but I’ll get it,” he said as he took the mug from her hand then grabbed another for himself. She watched as he poured Owen’s coffee and when she moved to take the mug, he shook his head. “I got this, love,” he said lowly as he caressed her face. “My God but you look as if you’ve been beaten.”

She pulled a face as she gave him a sideways glance and smiled. “That’s what everyone told me today. I told them that I had fallen, not really sure they believed me,” she said with a shrug as she turned to help Rosita and Maria get supper started.

“What?” he asked in surprise.

“I went shopping,” she said smiling broadly at him. “I picked up some things for Val –”

“Shopping?! I thought the doctor told you to take it easy!” he bellowed as he sat the cup in front of Owen. Surprisingly without spilling a drop.

Desai jumped when he yelled. “Well, yes, she did, but she also said that walking was not a big deal, Thomas,” she said trying to calm his worry.

“It damn well is when you’re told to take it easy! Where did you go?”

She was confused at his outburst and more than a little hurt that he would talk to her like that in front of his family and friend. However, she was not about to show her hurt or anger unless he kept pushing her. She smiled, “I went to the mall.”

“The mall?!” He sounded like Jack Linden.

_Sarcasm to the rescue!_

She narrowed her eyes but smiled saccharine sweet as she said calmly, “Yes. I’m sure you’ve heard of it. It’s a large building containing a variety of retail stores and typically some restaurants.” Her hands gesticulated as she explained, her voice that of a mother explaining something difficult to a child.

Sarah and Emma giggled.

Owen chuckled.

“I know what a mall is, Desai.”

Another set of giggles.

“Oh, good. That’s a relief. Then what’s the matter?” she asked brightly.

Giggles again came from the direction of the table.

He mumbled, clearly agitated, “The – the – matter?!” He shoved his fingers into his black curls and rubbed his neck, then began gesticulating wildly, “You – were – told – by – your – physician – to – take – it – easy.” He enunciated each word as if he were talking to a child.

“I’m not a child, Thomas, do not talk to me as if I am. I understood the orders from my doctor and understood them clearly. In fact –”

She opened her mouth to clarify a few things when he shouted, “You must not have, or you wouldn’t have shown such stupidity or been such an idiot as to disobey her!”

“Did you just call me stupid and an idiot?” she asked lowly almost in a whisper. Anyone who knew Desai knew that that voice accompanied by that look – meant only one thing. She was well beyond mad and angry and headed straight for: **_“Prepare for incoming!”_**

Thomas raised one of those damned eyebrows of his almost to his hairline and opened his mouth but then, “Ohhh,” came from Sarah and Emma.

Thomas whirled to glare at them, and they just giggled.

“Yes. Yes, I did,” he admitted somewhat slowly. But he couldn’t take it back now. _Oh, shit! She’s mad, from the narrowing of those green eyes that were now so dark they looked almost black to that beautiful face that had gone almost white, I’m in deep shit,_ he thought.

Desai glared at him _if looks could have done harm_ … “I will have you know, Thomas. William. Hiddleston! I am not an idiot! And I did not disobey orders!” _Well, so much for keeping cool in the presence of company!_

_Deep shit be damned! In for a penny …_ “You went shopping!” he yelled throwing his hands into the air in exasperation.

“Yes, I did. And guess what? I liked it so much I’m gonna do it again.” Her Southern accent always became pronounced when she got mad or upset. She threw her arms up in exasperation. “Since when is that a crime?!” _Surely he was not going to point that – well fuck me he is!_

Tom pointed his finger at her as he ground out, enunciating each word, “Your physician gave you orders to take things easy. I would presume to guess that would mean for you to stay home and not overexert yourself,” and backed her up against the counter.

Desai bared her teeth as she looked at his finger. “Well, you certainly weren’t concerned about my overexertion last night! Or I might add – this morning! Why worry about it now?!” she threw back at him as heat, damn him, flared as their bodies touched. She angrily slapped his hand from her face.

Sarah and Emma giggled and those that had been watching movies chose that moment to come in. Diana and James gave each other a knowing look.

Desai continued to glare at the now red face of Thomas who had taken a step back.

Owen sat quietly as if he was afraid to move for fear of missing something.

Benedict and Sophie were looking from Thomas to Desai and back as if they were at Wimbledon.

Chris Hemsworth, his wife Elsa, and their children were standing behind Ben, and Sophie and Chris Evans was beside Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan; all of them wore expressions of mirth.

Thomas’ mouth opened and closed like a fish and she placed her hands on her hips as she walked toward him effectively pushing him backward, “Oh what’s wrong?! Are ya havin’ trouble breathin’ there _Tom_?” Desai moved to leave, and he grabbed her arm, she whirled and yelled, “You dear earendel are an arsehole! And ‘a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. What a piece of work is man’!”

He managed to get out as he pointed a finger, “Woman, do not speak another word!”

“You don’t own me,” she sang clear and loud as she slapped his finger away. Again.

“Desai, I’m warning you!”

Thomas looked as if he would explode, she had never seen his face so red. “Warn away! But I fear that more of your conversation would infect my brain. Thou errant beetle-headed hugger-mugger!” She gesticulated her hands but kept right on ranting, “I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.” She smiled at his open-mouthed expression and said, “Just quit being yourself, and this argument will be over in a millisecond!” She pointed a finger in the air, “Or – GROW UP!”

The expression he wore was priceless, for once he had no idea what to say and she was so far gone in her anger she stepped forward stood on her tiptoes until her nose was touching Thomas’ and she muttered, “Oh, have I confused thee? You have such a February face, so full of frost, of storm and cloudiness.” She then stepped back and looked him up and down and said, “Your brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after voyage.” She snorted at him and continued, “I find the ass in compound with the major part of your syllables.” She smiled broadly, Thomas William Hiddleston was not the only one who knew and loved Shakespeare. She held up a finger as if to shush him for her final dig and said, “And I know I’m no cactus expert, but I do know a prick when I see one! And you know something else?!” Her voice boomed as she yelled, “Dealing with you is like trying to nail Jell-O to the bloody wall!” With that, she turned, threw her hands up, and shouted, “I hate Valentine’s Day!” as she stormed out.

Tom was heading out after her when Diana stopped him and said, “Thomas! She went looking for something for you. For Valentine’s – and she called her doctor first to find out if it would be okay.”

“Wot?! Why didn’t she tell me?!” He whirled around to face his parents.

“Because son, you never gave her a chance,” James said as he took another sip of his tea.

Ben, spoke, “I do like the way she quotes Shakespeare. Where did she come up with ‘errant beetle-headed hugger-mugger’? It suits, but I don’t remember that particular phrase being in Shakespeare.”

He got a glare from Thomas for his quip.

Anthony Mackey said, “I liked the one about the crayons.”

“Just quit being yourself,” Sebastian Stan laughed out.

“Well, bro, you messed that up. I seriously doubt you’ll be getting any – thing for Valentine’s,” Chris Hemsworth said with a grin.

“Oh, shut up, brother.”

“You know, Tom, if you would just come out and tell her how you feel –” Chris Evans began.

“How I feel?! I have no idea what you’re talking about. We care about each other –but – what you’re insinuating has nothing to do with it!”

Chris shook his head. “Man, it’s got everything to do with it. She’s not like that other girl, Tom. This one is in it for the long haul. Can you not see that? You’re supposed to be a smart man, but from the way you just acted…” He shook his head. “Can you not see that she loves you?” He spread his arms out to everyone. “We all can see it why can’t you? And you love her you’re just too stubborn to see it – or say it.” He then grinned broadly, “But hey man if you don’t want her. I’ll try and make a go of it with her.”

Tom, gave him a glare hot enough to burn Hell, “She’s with me.”

“Not for long you keep talking to her that way.” Tom’s sister Sarah said.

Emma chimed in, “Or treating her like that.”

Tom went out the same way Desai had. He knew he loved her, damnit, knowing it, and being able to say it was two very different things. He didn’t want to lose her. He felt that if something happened that caused her to be gone from his life permanently, he would cease to exist. He would not be able to go on with life as he had before. Her voice, her laughter, and yes, her anger and tears, he loved all of it. Her mind was like a steel trap she never forgot a thing, but she forgave so easily; trusted him with her heart, soul, and body.

He groaned when he lost sight of her footprints, she was good at hiding, she could do so in plain sight. He had learned that from one of their recent hide and seek games. He smiled at the memory of her giggles as he had turned into his ‘velociraptor’ façade. Today, though, as he searched the house from bottom to top – no Desai was in sight.

She could hear him calling for her, but she refused to answer. She needed to cool off and once she did, she would be okay. She knew his concern was valid, but not giving her a chance to completely explain was not really fair. And in front of his friends to boot. She hated it when she got angry, she cried afterward, and always got sleepy.

Thomas searched for over an hour looking for her and finally found her asleep on a bench near the jogging path.

Desai felt fingers in her hair and opened her raw red eyes to see ocean-blue ones staring at her. “I can’t handle you not listening to me and yelling at me like that. It breaks my heart, Thomas.” The honesty was palpable, he knew she meant every word.

He gathered her up into his arms and sat her on his lap. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Love, please forgive me. It’s just that I care so deeply for you and I’ve seen you hurt, and it hurts me.”

“Oh, Thomas, I forgive you. I’ll always forgive you.” She caressed his face. “Did I ruin things with your friends?”

He laughed, “Not at all. In fact, they were quite impressed with the way you stood up to me and especially your insults. As was I. You have a very impressive vocabulary and wit. I do love a witty retort. It keeps things spicy.” He kissed her then, softly, tenderly as if this was a sweet first-time kiss.

She searched his eyes but kept silent as she listened.

“What is it about you?” Thomas said in wonder as he searched her face. “You are so different from any woman I have ever met. I look at you and all I want to do is _hold you_ , _keep you_ _near me_ ; _protect you_ ; _be with you_.” He traced his lips across her jaw to her ear. “ _Make love to you_. You’re like a drug, Desai. And as surely as I breathe, I am addicted to you.”

“I feel the same way, Thomas. It’s almost like being in estrus. I think of you and I want you. I want to surround you, feel your velvet hardness inside me.” She kissed him feverishly and whispered, “I need you, Thomas. Now.”

“Desai, love, this is too public –” he blushed “— even for me.”

“I know a place,” she said as she clambered off his lap and grabbed his hand. She led him down the path and then behind and under some large cedar and fir trees where she had sought out shelter one evening as it rained. It was dry, covered with soft pine needles, and the quilt she had brought on another evening was still folded in the large Ziploc baggie.

As soon as they were under the trees and the boughs hid them from any prying eyes she grabbed the bag and spread out the quilt. She needed his touch, wanted his touch. She began to strip as she stared at him.

Thomas watched Desai and God help him she made his mouth water for the need of her; the taste of her. He stripped and faced her. This was something she had never done – out in the open. It was new and exhilarating. “Desai, I –” he said softly as she faced him. _Say it you fool! Tell her you love her!_

“Thomas, take me,” she sighed. “Please, earendel,” she pleaded. “I need you. I want you … and I – always will.” _Why can’t I just tell him that I love him? Does he really need to say it first? What if I do and it scares him away?_

His hands shook as they drew her to his body. “You are so unique, my one and only,” he whispered against her neck as he gently lay her down on the quilt. He nuzzled her hair, steadily pressing the length of his body against hers, enveloping her in his limbs. “Open your legs for me, Desai. I am hungry and nothing tastes better than you,” he whispered seductively as he kissed his way down over her bruised and scarred body settling himself between her legs. He looked up at her over her mons as he licked her slit from perineum to clit in one long swipe.

She whimpered his name as he gave her a wink and a smirk.

“Oh, Desai,” he murmured just before he took her clit into his mouth and suckled as he moaned against it.

She arched upward with a cry as she felt the orgasm building then he slid his tongue downward and into her core thrusting in and out, curling that muscle upward as he pulled it out so that he could hungrily drink her juices. “Oh, you taste so good,” he moaned into her as he began to move his thumb in small circles against her clit.

She cried out again and he hummed in satisfaction as he looked at her, knowing that what he was doing to her made her want him more and more and he loved it; because she knew he got as much pleasure from this as she did. He lapped like a kitten as her juices keep flowing like a fountain, but she needed more. She began to grind against his mouth and thumb feeling the inevitable edge coming closer. He pressed harder on her clit as he gently rolled it between his fingers. “Thomas! Oh, Thomas!” she cried lowly as her climax hit her like a tidal wave and she tensed up as it rocked her body. She heard the primal growl from somewhere below as she said, “Vous me tuez, vous me tuez, mon amour.”

Thomas only smiled at her allowing her to regain her breath and composure as he cleaned up every last drop of her deliciousness. Then he slowly moved his body over her kissing her bared skin then suckling at the hard pink buds of her breasts. He positioned himself over her and eased his engorged member into her wet and tight entrance inch by inch until completely sheathed in her warm and welcoming body. _She felt like home, she was his and he was hers. He loved this woman. Even more than his career._

Desai caressed his face and wondered at his expression, “Thomas, what’s wrong?”

_You’re the first to ever turn my head away from my acting. I love you but it still scares the shit out of me._ “Nothing, I want this time to be like a first time between us. No rush, no demands. Just our bodies responding to one another. You are so very precious to me,” he said as he began to gently thrust slowly but deeply, placing kisses all over her face as he held her head in his hands as they made love. Only soft moans and kissing sounds could be heard between them.

“Thomas,” she whispered on a breath as they climaxed together, “jag älskar dig.” She prayed he didn’t know Swedish. If he heard or understood she didn’t know.

As they walked back to the house Thomas held her hand and kept kissing her fingertips. She felt as if he now saw her in a different way than he had. She wasn’t sure why, but she liked it. He had always been a gentleman and now was no different as he opened the door for her.

They sat in the large living room with Thomas’ family and friends as if the war of words had never happened. Thomas draped one of his arms around her shoulders and pulled her close as she hugged him with one of her arms. As she listened to his heartbeat; enveloped in his warmth she was soon asleep.

Tom heard her soft snores and looked over at Desai and smiled.

“It’s good to see you got things worked out,” Chis Evans quipped with a broad smile. “Guess, I won’t be going out with her after all.”

“Not in this lifetime,” Tom, said as he looked down at the woman in his arms.

**February 13**

Deliveries began coming in around 8:00 A.M. and didn’t stop until just before Thomas came home from Pinewood. However, Desai had made Thomas, his family, and friends homemade cards using her calligraphy and watercolor pens. She also made up gifts of chocolates and other small treats for everyone. She made sure that the flowers she ordered would be delivered to Thomas tomorrow, with the card that read, _‘For my Earendel,_ _tha gaol agam ort’_ (I love you) in Gaelic. She knew she was taking a chance that he would ask someone what it meant, but she didn’t care. She loved him.

Thomas had an early call the next morning so her plan for him was spoiled but that did not mean she couldn’t do it tomorrow night.

**February 14**

She smiled as Thomas came in carrying a huge bouquet of, she was sure, fifty, fire and ice roses. “I see you got them.”

“These are not mine, love,” he said and smiled. “These are for you.”

Her mouth flew open. “Thomas, they’re beautiful, but you didn’t have to.”

He gave me one of his ‘ehehehehehe’ “They were delivered to me for you the same time mine was delivered from you. I think it’s awesome that we both chose the same kind of rose.” _His heart was about to burst, he wanted to scream, ‘I love you!’_ but instead said, “For my one and only.”

The evening dragged on, even with the exchange of family and friends, Valentine gifts. Desi couldn’t wait until it was time for bed. She had placed candles of various sizes and shapes everywhere on every surface while Thomas showered and made sure that soft romantic music was playing in the background. She put on her Lady Loki set complete with horned helmet and cape then waited.

When he exited the bathroom the scent of his favorite perfume for her met his nostrils. Oh, how she knew his likes. The room was bathed in candlelight and she stood at the end of the bed in glorious beauty; from the black heels, and silk stockings, to the panties, corset, bra, green cape, and helmet he was speechless.

“Earendel? Are you alright?” She asked as she walked toward him.

Thomas nodded and licked his lips. When he found his voice, it was low almost a whisper, “You – look amazing, Desai.” He reached out a hand and traced a line from her jaw to the curve of her breast then stopped, he looked at her as if it were the first time he had seen her. “You did this for me? Green, gold, and black, Lady Loki. Beautiful. Regal. Magisterial and magical, for _me_.”

“You and you alone, earendel.”

“I’m no angel, love.”

“Neither am I, Thomas.” She caressed his face and said, “ _Você é o mundo para mim_.”

“What language is that?” he asked as he wrapped his arms around her.

“Brazilian Portuguese. It means ‘you are my world’.” She wrapped her arms around his naked torso leaning in to taste his skin and place kisses on his neck. “Make love to me, Thomas, like you did yesterday. I need your tenderness today.”

“Oh, love,” he whispered softly against her neck as he picked her up and lay her on the floor.

“Thomas?”

“I want to try something new with you. I’ve read about it but have never tried it. I want to try it with my one and only.”

“What is it?”

“Tantra.”

“Oh, I’ve read about that. Why haven’t you – I mean before – now?”

They lay facing each other as he caressed her face and searched her eyes, “I’ve never trusted anyone as I trust you. I know if it doesn’t work you won’t laugh at me.”

Desai smiled, as she leaned in and kissed him and began to slowly explore his body and murmured, “I would never laugh at you, not in that way, love.” She reached around him and began massaging his back and shoulders, gentle at first but when he moaned and said, “Mmm, that feels good.” She told him to lie on his belly.

“I’ll be right back. Don’t move.” She went to the bathroom and gathered up the Sandalwood oil. “I’ll warm this between my hands. I’m going to massage you all over, is that alright?”

He looked at Desai over his shoulder smiled and whispered, “I cannot think of anything other than being inside you that would be better.”

She warmed the oil between her palms and began at his shoulders and ever so slowly worked her way down to his perfect buttocks and gave each muscled globe a good rub. His moans spurred her on, she massaged each leg and foot then requested for him to turn over. She massaged his arms, telling him to relax as she moved to his neck and collarbone area then to his shoulders, chest, and down to his hips. It was hard ignoring his erection as she did her best to focus on his hips, thighs, legs, and feet.

“My turn,” he murmured against her lips but didn’t kiss her. “I found this the other day and thought it might come in handy; he whipped out a long green feather from under the bed. “I know how ticklish you can be but thought that this might help relax you a bit.” He kissed her shoulders and then asked, “Would you roll onto your stomach?”

“Unfasten this cape, darling,” she requested as she showed him how to unsnap it. She then did as he asked and lay on the floor. She shivered a little as she felt his fingers deftly undo her bra and then he asked, “How did you get into this?”

She laughed at his frustration, “They had me put it on and then they laced it up there are hooks and eyes in the front, but you can unlace it.”

She laughed again as her bra went flying and then the corset followed, her panties were ruined and hung off the canopy of the bed. Soon she lay naked as he used the feather to stimulate her already overstimulated body. “You are so beautiful,” he sighed as he positioned his body over her and began to massage her shoulders and down her sides to which she giggled. He moved farther down and when he reached her buttocks he whispered against her neck, “I love this bottom. It’s absolutely perfect. There’s nothing whatsoever that I would change about it – or you.” He then gently nipped first one and then the other buttock as he massaged them as he moved lower to her thighs.

He moved to lay next to her leaning his head on one hand while the other traced a leisurely path down her body from her shoulder to the place she was dying for him to touch. He was looking at her with the intensity he saved for moments like this. She had seen him flirt with fans and admirers and had seen the effect his expressions had on women, but this was different. She had never felt more wanted, needed, or loved. His mouth began to follow his fingertips, her skin burning under the feel of his lips and tongue.

“C’mere,” he said as he helped her sit up and then onto his crossed legs.

She sat with her legs wrapped around his waist and felt his cock as it throbbed against her lower belly. They sat there holding, touching each other; looking into each other’s eyes, breathing in each other’s breaths.

“I really wanted this to work,” he whispered against her neck, “but all I can think about is being inside you; feeling you around me.” He smiled a devilish smile as he scooped her up and tossed her on the bed, making her squeal with laughter. He laughed as she clapped a hand over her mouth.

“Shhhhhh,” he grinned and said in a very posh English accent, “This establishment is a quiet family sort of place. So, my dear, shush! You just might frighten the horses or God forbid … my mum.”

She couldn’t help the giggles that exploded from her mouth, but she was soon silenced as his lips captured hers.

Growling in an animalistic manner, he captured her lips in another kiss and positioned himself between her legs. He could feel his tip pressing against her wet entrance, luring him to push in and thrust powerfully, and yet, he took his time. He wanted to relish this moment, enjoy how the one woman who always drove him crazy was now the one giving him pleasure.

He loved how she moaned it made him feel powerful, masculine, and in control. When she dug her heels into his back he got the message and quickened his pace while at the same time he reached down to where their bodies joined and without err found her bundle of nerves and caressed it.

As always, Thomas knew exactly what she needed. His name became a mantra on her lips as his skilled fingers and powerful thrusts brought her to the edge of paradise and into that wondrous world where all she could see was bright bursts of golden stars. Moaning loudly, she exploded into a million pieces as she began to spasm around Thomas’ cock, milking him for all he was worth until he moaned as well, his cock twitching causing her to climax again. Pumping until he was spent.

Panting heavily, Thomas rested his forehead against hers, lazily stroking her cheek and not bothering to pull out. Satisfied, he glanced down at Desai in a loving manner, a sly smirk spreading on his gorgeous lips as he said, “Happy Valentine’s Day, my love. My one and only.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had fun with this.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom gets drunk, rough drunk sex ensues, he bruises Desai. 
> 
> Tom's mother no longer likes Desai and believes that she will and is ruining Tom's life and career.

**March 17th**

**Atlanta**

The next holiday Thomas and Desai shared was St. Patrick's Day, they were at a fundraiser for one of the local charities that Desai helped fund. Thomas was having a great time dancing with Desai and some of the other ladies and was becoming a bit more than tipsy. No thanks to the _Everclear_ 190 proof that had been dyed green and made into cocktails for the event.

"Desai, can you sing a couple of songs?" Alexandria, one of the ladies that helped get the event going, asked.

"Sure, Alex.

Tom stopped in his tracks as Desai began singing _Sex is on Fire_ and playing the lead guitar. She looked so out of place in that evening dress playing an electric guitar, he got hard just watching her.

Then she began _Use Somebody_ and she was staring straight at him. Then she moved to the piano and began _1000000 Million_ then _Faded_.

_How could she be that talented?_ He wondered as he grabbed another drink, swearing to himself that he would keep Loki under wraps. He wouldn't hurt her but dammnit Loki wanted some time with Desai.

Desai smiled as she swayed and sang, _Downtown Train._ Then the band started _Crazy Little Thing Called Love_ and she went a little crazy with her moves on the guitar. Once the song was over, Thomas was standing by the steps and as she stepped down, he said in a commanding voice, "It's time we go home."

Desai had seen that look but it had never been directed at her. She smiled and nodded thinking, _perhaps he's right, but not for the reason he's thinking._ Thomas was drunk. He was now beyond tipsy, jingled, or buzzed. He was flat out drunk but she would never accuse him of that.

***

"You're jingled!" she laughed as she twirled around the living room.

"I am not drunk," Tom slurred as he tried to focus on Desai as she danced away from him.

"I did not say you were drunk! I said you were jingled! There's a difference," she grinned at him as he made to grab her but she twirled her dress away from his grasp. She wanted Thomas to make love to her.

"You're drunker than I am!" he pronounced loudly as he leaped over the couch caught her around her waist and pulled her to his chest.

"I am!" she giggled. "Today should be Loki day! I'm wearing green and you're wearing green – where's Loki?"

Thomas lightly gripped her chin and Desai smiled up at him, "I want you to make love to me like Loki would," she said boldly as she met his eyes.

"Oh, pet, I have wanted to do that very thing," he caressed her face, slowly, seductively, he ran a finger across her silky flesh. He lowered his voice until it was Loki asking, "Now answer my question, my pet, would you come up to my room and spend the night with me?"

"How could I say no?" Desai was frozen in place as she watched Thomas turn into Loki, it was absolutely amazing!

He spun her around holding her back to his front, twisting her arms behind her as he ground his cock against her beautiful ass in a way that made her tense up in his arms.

Moving her hair aside, he lowered his lips to her ear as he blew erotically and whispered, "Loki doesn't ask, he takes what he wants, pet."

Her lips parted as she moaned softly, arched her ass into his growing hardness, laying her head on his shoulder, "Do you really want me?" she asked.

"Oh, yes, sweetling." He roughly shoved her into one of the elevators in the house, not trusting himself to take the stairs, and up against the wall then when the door slid open he pushed her down the hallway like a hostage and into their shared bedroom.

When they entered Desai turned on him undressing as she flung the dress away, and shimmying out of her underwear. She watched as he stripped, then her eyes opened wide as he gripped her throat and pushed her back to the bed. "Oh, pet, we are going to have so much pleasure, but you must earn it my dear little mortal."

Desai gave him an unyielding look, "You don't scare me," she said bravely, then her eyes widened in fear as he knocked her off her feet and onto the bed. She let out a surprised shriek at his roughness. It scared her, she had not seen this up close and personal. His eyes looked different she noticed as she crabbed walked backward on the bed away from him.

He snatched her legs, straddling her. Gripping her by the throat, he shoved her down into the mattress. Then with both hands, he grabbed her breasts roughly jamming them together as he thrust his dick between them. Desai tongued the slit of his head each time he lunged forward.

He susurrated low and threatening, "Suck me, woman," in Loki's low voice, seizing her throat again and harder this time, he thrust his engorged cock into her mouth.

As he pulled out she licked her lips making sure to wet them then just to tease him she chose to barely blow on his head, disobeying his order.

He glared at her, "Do not test me, mortal woman!"

She dared him with her eyes to do something about her disobedience as she smiled at him then blew again, as he pressed harder on her neck she spat on his cock then twirling her tongue around his now purplish head she played with him.

He felt his cock twitch, intuitively beseeching her mouth to consume him. Pre-cum dripped then flowed and she began to flick her tongue enthusiastically, she played with his head as she stared up at him before she licked him clean. "Mmmm," she moaned as she closed her eyes then ran her tongue from his balls to his head, moaning loudly when she tasted him.

He slapped the curve of her hip causing her to cry out in surprise as the stinging sensation spread and burned and the sound reverberated in the room. He pulled her head up using her hair, "Open your eyes and look at me while you suck me whore!" he roared as his voice became that of an angry God of Mischief, in that moment he was a supreme being.

Desai opened her green-gold eyes staring up at him as she took all of him to his balls.

Desai's head bobbed as her fingers gently caressed and fondled his balls, and as she did, she sucked so hard that he had to fight his need to climax.

And he was losing!

She moaned and vibrated the sound in her throat as she devoured his dick breathing in his musky masculine arousal.

She released his cock from her mouth only to twist her head in a way that allowed her to take both his tight balls into her mouth and suck and lick them gently, then she took his cock so deep her nose was buried in his pubes, her hot breath on him as she exhaled, she sucked hard and he was done!

"Oh, fuck!" he hissed through his teeth as his ass clenched, his jaw went slack, his head tossed back in pure ecstasy and cum exploded from him into the back of her throat.

She smiled as he whimpered and she swallowed his hot seed.

He flopped backward sprawled out spread eagle passed out, with his dick slowly shrinking.

***

Standing beside the bed she beheld her mischief. He was wearing Loki's helmet while handcuffed to the headboard and propped up with pillows. She then crawled into bed snuggling up as she pulled the covers over them.

Her eyes flew open the second he awakened and she suppressed a smile as she said brightly, "Good morning!"

Tom moved to get up and found he couldn't, _oh, my head._ He answered her with a whisper, "Morning, love." He looked from one hand to the other. "What did I – what happened?" His eyes widened as he saw her while she was removing the cuffs. Bruises. He vowed to never unleash Loki on Desai again.

She shook her head but she looked as if she'd been battered. A bruise in the shape of a handprint circled her throat, bruised wrists, and her breasts ... more of the same. "Desai," he whispered. "I'm sorry." He began to cry, "My dark side comes out sometimes when I drink and sometimes when I don't. I don't know what to say. Sorry doesn't –"

"Thomas, I'll be alright, baby. Don't worry, earendel," she said as she removed the cuffs and gently wiped his tears away.

But he did, he shook his head and it hurt but he felt he deserved it. His hangover was nothing compared to what he had done to the woman he loved. Never again.

Desai handed him a glass of water and two extra-strength Tylenol. "Here, drink and take the Tylenol. It'll help. Then water. Lots of water."

*****I wanted to make a statement here and please don't misunderstand what I am saying. There are times when mothers become overly protective of their children no matter how old they are. This is what I'm writing about here. I personally do not believe that Tom's mother would act this way. However, the character here has read and believes that Desai is somehow going to ruin Tom's life and career. *****

**March 30th**

**London**

"Mum, what can we bring?" Tom asked his mother as they spoke just a few days before Easter.

"You can bring yourself," she said brightly.

"Okay," he laughed, "What would you like for Desai to bring?" he asked as he kissed Desai's forehead.

"Truthfully?" she took a deep breath, "I would rather she not come with you."

Desai's eyes flew open and Thomas was shocked. "Why? You don't believe all that shit that's been written do you?" He was disappointed in his mother. "Mum," he looked at Desai who had heard what his mother had said, "if she's not welcome then neither am I."

Desai moved to another room. _I'll be damned if I cry over another hurtful word that she has to say about me._ She had told Thomas about her last conversation with Diana and he just passed it off as her being emotional during her period. And she had too ... until today.

Desai had noticed slight changes in how Diana and some of her friends treated her and she wasn't sure what to do about it – or to do anything. _Am I trying too hard? Have I made a faux pas? Does she just not like me anymore?_

**April 4th**

**Easter Sunday**

"Hey, need some help with that, Dee?" Chris Hemsworth asked as he walked up behind her.

He laughed when she jumped. "If you don't mind. I have to warn you it's heavy Chris."

"How you been, Dee?" He gave her a brotherly hug then said as he picked it up, "Nah, I lift weights heavier than this with one arm." He breathed in the scent from the covered pan. "Smells, delicious!"

"I've been good and I hope it is." She held the door for him as he carried the huge ham inside and placed it on the counter.

"Desai, you did bring a platter for that didn't you? I will not have that pan on my table," Diana said in a way that made Desai feel like a child.

"Yes, ma'am right here." Desai produced her great-grandmother's platter that had always held the Easter ham.

"Where on Earth did you get that ugly thing?" Diana asked as she scrunched her nose while looking at it.

Thomas came in with James and his sisters as Desai said, "It has been passed down from my great-grandmother, my grandmother and mother always used it for the ham on Easter."

"Well, not this year. I will not have that _thing_ on my table either."

James and the others shared glances with one another as if to say, _"There goes another one!"_

Tom poured his first whiskey, feeling as if he were a coward for not having the balls to say something to his mother about the way she and her friends were talking to Desai hoping the whiskey would give him some courage.

Desai simply nodded moving to remove the platter when Diana started to hand it to her and let go before Desai had it in her hand. She watched in horror as an almost 150-year-old family heirloom shattered on the floor. She gasped as Diana criticized her for not grabbing it. "Why didn't you grab it?! What a mess!"

"Tom, is she always so clumsy?" One of Diana's friends asked as she laughed.

_If there ever was a double entendre,_ "Where's your broom?" Desai asked refusing to cry in front of Diana, her family, and her friends.

"A vacuum would do a better job. It's in the hall closet," Diana said in a dismissive tone.

"I'll get it, love," Thomas said as he started to retrieve the vacuum.

"Surely she's not helpless. Is she lazy, Tom? She made the mess let her clean it up." She eyed Desai. "Or have you always had someone else do your work for you?"

Desai turned beet red as she heard some of Diana's friends snicker. "No ma'am," she said as she retrieved the vacuum and cleaned up every minuscule particle of what was once her great-grandmother's Easter platter. And did so without a snide comment or tear. _Goody for me, I can get my heartbroken and not shed a tear._

Thomas looked at Desai from across and at the other end of the table. For whatever reason, his mother had seated him next to another woman who tittered and fawned all over each word he said. Desai sat quietly not speaking to anyone but listening as Diana and her friends made fun of how she talked, and how she cooked. And her grandmother's platter. _It was old, not ugly._

After dinner, while everyone sat in the large living room playing charades, Desai was asked if she would mind doing dishes.

"Of, course I don't mind," she answered, then under her breath, "The further I am away from you snobs the better off I am."

From the boisterous laughter, they were having a hell of a time. She listened to Thomas's voice, he was drunk. A shiver ran through her, she remembered St. Patrick's Day. Thomas or was it Loki, had been rough let's not talk about the bruises. He had apologized and she knew he had meant it but when he was drunk he was a different person.

She could hear Chris, Elsa, and their children playing with the other children. Elsa kept wandering in like Sarah and Emma asking if she needed any help, but Desai politely refused.

"Don't forget to change the water after you wash the glassware and dinnerware. Those pans need extra hot water."

Desai laughed, "Diana, I do know how to clean dishes."

"Well, if she doesn't I do," Thomas said as he came in carrying a highball glass with ice and what she guessed was either Jameson or Bowmore single malt Scotch whiskey.

Desai smiled at him and was taken aback at just how beautiful he was. His black hair hung in curls around his face and that grin he was sporting made her heart do a funny little two-step. "Thank you, darlin' but I got this. Go have fun with your family and friends."

He sauntered up behind her wrapping his long arms around her. "I want to have fun with you, my love, and I have to tell you your ham was deli –"

"I hope that you don't bring another it was so – I'm not sure how to describe it. Do all you Southerners cook like that?" Christina, one of Diana's friends commented.

"No, not at all, and I'm sorry you didn't like it. It's an English recipe not American or Southern. I actually talked to one of the chef's at Club Gascon and he assured me —"

"Oh, don't take it personal, Desiree, not everyone can cook."

"It's Desai, and I can cook just fine," she said fractiously. Everyone has a breaking point and Desai had gone beyond hers.

"Well, not today. Oh, that ham!" Diana said as she came in making a face and carrying more glasses. Desai was beginning to feel like Cinderella.

She could see she would get no help from Thomas as he was just hanging on to her listening to what the others were saying about her cooking and her. It hurt. In three days they would be back in Georgia – Thank God! _Maybe I need a relaxing trip to Montana. Alone._

Elsa came in and helped finish up the washing of the pots and pans. Then as they sat there at the counter quietly talking Diana stormed in and said, "Desai, don't you ever talk to Christina again like you did tonight!" Diana huffed, "She was devastated that a girlfriend of Tom's would talk to her in a manner such as that!"

"I said nothing untoward to her" she gritted out. "Thomas was –"

"And would you please stop calling him Thomas?! His name is Tom!" Diana's face was red with emotion and possibly alcohol.

"Yes, ma –"

"And stop with that yes ma'am shit! For fuck's sake you're a grown woman act like one!"

**Four hours later**

Desai nodded to Elsa as she had asked about visiting Australia. "I would love to visit." She smiled feeling as if she and Elsa were now real friends. "I'm gonna miss you."

Chris pulled Desai into another hug to which Thomas said drunkenly, "You trying to take my woman there Hemsworth?"

"Not at all, brother. Dee is a friend," he said jovially.

"Would I not have something to say about that, Thomas," Desai asked with a smile as she looked at him as she moved from Chris's embrace.

Thomas pulled her roughly against his side and she smiled up at him as she asked if he were ready to leave. Of course, the answer was no, but as he saw everyone else was leaving he decided it was time to go.

It was late, almost 3 am.

He was in a vulgar frame of mind by the time she helped him to the car. And she was shocked at the contempt that was thrown on her as he slurred, "You were fucking ill-mannered tonight," as Desai searched her purse for the car keys.

"What?! Me?!" she asked in shock as she unlocked the car and looked back at him. He looked pissed as he swayed slightly and his face was flushed from more than just the whiskey. Thomas barely looked at her, his scowl telling her he was in a temper.

"They're some of my mum's oldest friends and some of mine! I don't see why you could not have tried to be nice to them." Thomas had that bad-tempered edge to his voice now.

"So once again it's my fault! I have tried. I tried tonight! The only people who treated me decent were Emma, Sarah, Elsa, your dad, and Chris! You are so drunk you won't remember this tomorrow. Oh, and do not get me started on my great-grandmother's platter!"

"You and that fucking platter! Please! It was the ugliest thing I'd ever laid my eyes on!"

"Ugly or not it was around 150 years old, Thomas!"

"Don't call me that! My name is Tom! I'm not a kid."

She raised a brow, "You're sure about that?" she quipped.

"You're being an unreasonable bitch! I have never once complained about your mates, I even put up with that evil gossiper Donna! Who is always pawing at me!" Tom ran his hands through his hair, his shirt now stained down the front with only God knew what. Right now he looked like he had slept in his clothes, disheveled and drunker than she had ever seen him.

"Why do you always call me names when you're drunk?!" Desai snapped at him as she threw her purse and shoes into the back seat then just as she was about to get in the driver's seat she felt his hand grip her hard around her wrist. "Let me go!" she yelled as she tried to twist out of his hold.

"Fuck you! Don't start with me, Desai," he growled as he gave her that face that could only be described as an unadulterated Marvel villain.

Loki.

Again.

Desai couldn't stop the laughter from bursting out of her, it was from fear but maybe he wouldn't know that. "Oh. Do. Shut. Up. _Tom_ ," she said as she snatched her hand out of his grasp with a shake of her head.

He didn't like that. Her eyes widened because his speed surprised her with how drunk he was. He pulled her backward then shoved her over the hood of the car. He pushed her against the cold metal as her face hit the hood she let out an "Ooofff!" Tom was right behind her pulling her dress up over her ass.

"Stop it! No! What the fuck are you doing?!" she screamed as she felt him press his hard cock against her ass as his foot kicked her legs apart before she could kick him. "Thomas?!" _Surely he wouldn't? Not here of all places._

If anyone should get up and look through their window they'd see her bent over her car while he was busy unzipping himself. Thank heaven it was as late as it was and highly unlikely that anyone would see them.

She stopped fighting him and decided to just let him do what he wanted; why bother to struggle, it would just cause more bruises. And she had a feeling she would have plenty tomorrow.

Tom slapped her ass hard and Desai just laughed. "Horny are you? You always get horny when you're drunk or mad. You mad? I know you're drunk!"

"You're a nasty unreasonable bitch, but I do what I want!" Tom tugged her panties down and Desai simply stepped out of them. He threw them over his shoulder and earned himself a disapproving chuckle from Desai.

"Those were expensive, _Tom_. And is bitch the only name you know to call me? I mean you did go to Eton and Cambridge after all, surely they taught you more words than that. _College Boy!_ " She snorted as he slapped her ass again this time harder and she knew she would have another handprint in the morning.

"I'll buy you more, you stupid bitch. I would buy you the entire fucking factory just so I could rip them off you then fuck you. And at least I have an education!" he said matter-of-factly.

That last comment hurt and he would not remember it tomorrow, but she would never forget it.

"Promises," she teased as the sound of a belt buckle hitting the pavement made her wiggle her ass at him.

His long elegant fingers pulled at her hips as he sheathed himself inside her with a grunt and a rough thrust. Desai cried out then covered her mouth, a weak attempt at trying to be quiet considering he was balls deep inside her in the middle of the street.

Tom fucked her with drunk aggression as his hands pulled her back to meet his thrusts. There was no tenderness or mercy as he grunted with the effort of pulling her back onto him, the echo of the satisfying smack of flesh against flesh in the cold night air was bringing her close to the edge even though it hurt. She let out a deep moan and she heard his dark laugh.

"Come on slut, you can do better than that. Let me hear how much you fucking want it."

"Ohhh, another word!" she half yelled as she tried to steady herself against his merciless pounding as her thighs and pelvic bones hit the car with every thrust.

"Keep still, I'm using your cunt for what it was made for you fucking slag." Tom relentlessly thrust himself up into her and she could not stop the scream that came out of nowhere.

"And there's another one! I guess they did teach you some things at those schools!"

"Go on scream, fucking take all of it," he roared, the mixture of anger and lust swirled in his gut and made his balls tighten.

She had no chance of staying quiet now all she could do was surrender to the feel of his cock as she let him have his way. She wasn't complaining – hard and fast had its rewards and she was just about to get hers as she began to climax and so did he.

He slipped out of her with a deep moan. Desai turned but he staggered backward with his pants still around his ankles and fell flat on his ass in the street, his cock flopping around like a baby elephant's trunk. _Boy! Wouldn't the fangirls love a picture of that?! He should enter the drunk Olympics,_ she thought as she watched his fall to the pavement _that was actually graceful for a drunk guy._

"I'm sorry, love" he slurred as he was trying to pull on his pants. She leaned over to help him to his feet then helped him pull his trousers up.

"C'mon, _Tom_ ," she said as she helped him into his seat and fastened his seatbelt.

He smirked at her with his red eyes and gave her a lopsided grin.

She started the car and just to play it safe she made sure the window was down on his side just in case he needed to puke.

"They were all arseholes to you, love. I'm sorry, darling. You were right." He gently patted her leg as she drove away then rolled her eyes. She muttered lowly, "If your fans could see you now."

He looked at her and spoke loudly, "Did you know – that mum's friends were—" he belched loudly, "misquoting some of my movie lines to me – and Shakespeare of all peep..." he burped again as he smacked his chest – "pull."

"Oh, darlin'. How appalling for you," she said but he didn't hear her he was sound asleep with his hand down the front of his pants. _Oh, I am definitely getting a picture of that!_

She pulled the car over, got out, and walked around to the passenger side, she gave him a little push so that he wouldn't fall out and snapped a few pictures. With various poses. Tucked his hand back in his trousers and drove home.

As she got back in she muttered, "Well that was an Easter I'll never forget ..."

She flat out laughed once they were home; she glanced back as she walked into the house. He was sleeping soundly in the car parked outside.

With the top down.

_Wasn't it supposed to rain?_

*******

Tom awoke to cold water pelting down on him, had Desai put him in the shower? He opened his eyes and was surprised to find he was in her car and looking out the windscreen, when he looked up he saw gray as the rain hit him in the face. "What the fuck?" he muttered as he pulled his hand from his pants, then opened the door and walked to the house. _What did I do this time,_ he wondered, _as he saw blood on his fingers._ He fished around in his pockets then remembered he had not bothered to carry his keys with him last night.

Desai heard the doorbell and smiled, she was having her second cup of coffee. Smirking she walked to the door opened it then walked back to the table and sat down. No way in Hell was she going to make this easy for him. "Would you like some breakfast?" she called as he walked in.

"No, thank you," he said just above a whisper as he poured himself a cup of coffee. "What –" he stopped as Desai held up her hand. _How did she get that bruise on her face?_

"Coffee. Shower. Rest. Later, we'll talk."

He slowly nodded wishing that his head didn't feel as if it were going to explode with every slight movement. He wondered what had happened, her expression gave nothing away. No signs of anger but he knew he had done something very wrong.

She slid a glass of water over to him with two Panadol. "Here, Tom. You'll feel better."

He scrunched up his face. _Tom? She_ **never** _called him Tom. What the Hell did – had he done?_

"Drink your water, take the pills, and then finish your coffee. Shower and then rest. I'll go and put some towels on the racks to get warm for you."

"Desai, I—"

"Shhh," she murmured as she kissed his head and walked to their master bathroom. _Damnit! Why couldn't she stay mad at him for more than a minute? Those baby blues, that's why! And she loved him! He looked like a little boy and knew he had hurt her._ She knew it had been unintentional he would never hurt her deliberately. She knew that with all her heart.

She heard the shower turn on and began to lay out his clothes, just something to say I forgive you, she also wrote a note and left it on top of his underwear.

The warm water cascading over his body brought memories of the night before back into clear focus. It was like watching a movie. He had started drinking when his mother and her friends began talking down to and bullying Desai. _Why hadn't he said something?_ His dad had and got an earful for his trouble. So had Emma and Sarah.

His mother had told him that there were too many stories about Desai for her liking and that most of them, she believed, were spot on. She had also been in contact with Andrew's family and had heard what they had to say about Desai. She and Luke had also had a conversation and Luke had told her that he, Tom, had been turning down scripts. Which was true, but it wasn't because of Desai. Yes, he wanted to spend more time with her. He also wanted to play good parts. So far he had not found that many good ones.

The towel felt warm as he wrapped it around his waist and walked into the bedroom to find a pair of underwear, jeans, socks, and a shirt on the bed, with a note that read:

_**Earendel,** _

_**I've gone for a run at 9:15, be back soon. Breakfast is in the oven.** _

_**Desai.** _

He sat on the floor and cried. He didn't deserve her. And she had forgiven him. For whatever he had done. He wept – he had hurt her. More than hurt her, he remembered her saying no and to stop and he had forced himself on her as if she were no more than a thing to be used.

Meanwhile, Desai had taken her very wet car to a repair shop and retained a rental for the time being. Right now she was in the waiting room at her doctor's office. She knew what he was going to say and what he would think.

"You have a vaginal tear, it's not large but it is bleeding. No sex for six weeks let it heal on its own. I'll prescribe you some antibiotics and pain medication." He began to write and as he finished and handed her the paper he said, "Tell your boyfriend to take it a bit easier on you."

Tom ate the breakfast Desai had prepared and afterward felt better physically, mentally was another story.

He heard her drive into the garage, _she had said she was going for a run._ He gave her a small smile as he walked to her when she came through the door. "After my short run, I decided to take the car to a repair shop, and then – I -- I went to see my gynecologist."

"Did I – what did I –" He stopped when she placed a finger to his lips.

"I have a vaginal tear it's not very big he said, but it is bleeding and he also said no sex until it's completely healed." She hugged him to her as she whispered, "Earendel, it's alright. I'm going to be okay."

"No thanks to me," he murmured as he held her tightly allowing the tears to flow. "My saying I'm sorry doesn't make it disappear. It should never have happened. How did you get that bruise on your face?"

She leaned back to look at him, "The hood of the car."

"Desai, I'm – sorry doesn't cut it I'm a bas –"

"No, no, no, no, don't you dare call yourself a bad name!" She sighed, "Tom –"

"Call me Thomas," he said as he brushed a curl behind her ear. "Desai ...Can we start over? Let's take this time that you're healing to go out, to be a couple ... I promise I will not get drunk again."

"I don't mind you drinking, my love. I really don't." She smiled as she ran her fingers into his hair, "And yes, we can do whatever you would like to do. We can have dates if that's what you want." She leaned in and kissed him. "Thomas, I forgive you, stop worrying, you did not mean to hurt me. I know that."

She grasped his face, searching his eyes, "Was I mad last night? You damned right I was. I was mad at you, but mostly I was mad at myself for not saying something – for not standing up for myself. I didn't want to take the chance of having you get mad at me or worse for telling your mom and her friends off." He gathered her into his arms hugging her tightly. "It was like reliving my childhood. I detest bullies in every way." She sobbed into his shoulder.

"Oh, babe, I'm so sorry," Tom said as he held her.

"I was furious with your mom and her friends and hurt too. I have no idea what I've done to make her dislike me so much." She threw her hands in the air, "I can't help it because I am a Southerner. I'm – I'll just stay away from her until –hopefully – she changes her mind about me." She looked into Thomas's eyes as she asked, "What's the next Holiday you celebrate here?"

"When I'm able – Christmas," he said smiling. "Surely by then, all this negative crap about you will have blown over." He kissed her forehead and pulled her closer. "For now, would you like to see Paris before we are due back in Atlanta?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was hard to write. It brought back a lot of memories.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diana loses her temper again at Christmas.

****Christmas** **

“Thomas, just go. Neither of us will hear the end of it if you don’t. All the food is ready and wrapped up in the boot of the car, but for God’s sake don’t tell your mom I cooked any of it! She’ll rake it all out or even worse complain about all of it.”

“No! I’m not going without you!”

“They’re your family, Thomas!” Desai said as she stomped her foot in frustration.

“And they love you like you are! Da’ will be devastated if he doesn’t see his ‘other daughter’ the man loves you!” _As much or more than I do!_

“Your mom hates me. You know this.”

“I’ll deal with mum, now, please go get dressed.” He pleaded gently.

“Thomas …” Desai whined.

“No whining. Now, do I have to toss you over my shoulder – carry you to your closet – pick out a dress – undress you and then – be late because once you’re undressed I make love to you … Again. Desai.” He leaned in kissing her softly yet deeply.

She got the message. “I’m going, Thomas.” It wasn’t that she didn’t want to make love with him, they had made love three times during the night, and twice this morning, the man was insatiable!

Ten minutes later Desai came out wearing a red velvet knee-length dress with a flared skirt, long-sleeved with lace inserts at the shoulders and a sweetheart neckline that showed off her wonderful womanly assets. Of course, her three-inch heels matched her dress as did the wool coat with its faux (she hated real fur) fur white trim at the collar, and cuffs, the clutch she carried was white with a monogram of an A on it in Swarovski crystals.

“Wow.” Tom raised an appraising brow. “You – just – amazing.” He sauntered over to her. “Desai, you are so beautiful. How on Earth did I get so lucky?”

“You’re not. I’m the lucky one. Merry Christmas, Tom.”

“Don’t—”

Desai placed a finger to his soft lips, “I’m practicing, love. Inside you will always be Thomas to me.”

As they pulled up Tom looked over at her and said, “You are the most wonderful lady on this Earth, you are my one and only.” He kissed her knuckles made a wait sign as he got out, closed his door, and came around to open her door. “I don’t want you to ruin your shoes, so … mmm, c’mere.”

“Tom, it’ll –”

He gave her a mock scowl, “Woman, lift those arms and put them around my neck.”

She laughed. “Yes, sir. Or should I say, yes my king?” She laughed when he flushed red, she caressed his face. “Don’t be embarrassed, I loved the time I’ve spent with Loki – especially lately.”

“Oh, love.” He pulled her close and lifted her as he said, “I’ll never know what I did to deserve a woman like you, but I am so very blessed to have you in my life.” They kissed as he carried her to the door. Yakov, his sister Sarah’s husband opened the door. “Tom! Whose Christmas present do you have there?”

Tom smiled at him, “This one’s mine! I’m not sharing!”

“I’m telling Sarah on you!”

“Please no!” he laughed.

Tom set her down and called out, “Hey Jack would you mind helping me carry in all these goodies I have?”

Jack came bounding in as Emma and Sarah engulfed Desai in hugs and smiles.

The three men carried the food and gifts from the ‘boot’ and backseat and as the last gift was placed under the tree Tom heard his mother say, “You look like Mrs. Clause, Dee. Have you gained weight?”

“Probably,” Desai said with a small laugh. “I’m like a bear during the winter I tend to fatten up and hibernate.”

Tom wrapped his arms around her and murmured, “You look great no matter what, but you have not gained weight.” He kissed her neck, and smiled against her skin as she whispered, “Thank you, love.”

“What did you bring, Dee?” Diana asked as she made a frown at her and Thomas.

Desai shook her head as she lied, “Just myself as requested. I read the cookbook while Tom did all the cooking. And he did a wonderful job. He made a pie for us yesterday and that thing had the best crust I’ve ever had!” She squeezed his arms, smiled, and kissed his cheek. “He’s awesome!”

Diana turned around and Desai was sure the woman was rolling her eyes.

Thomas had made sure that the food was in the _Limoges_ dishes that belonged to Desai so it would not cause an episode from his mom. He was still on the lookout for a platter to replace the one that had been broken.

James came in and as another arm wrapped around her waist Desai turned and saw Thomas’s father. “Hello, James,” Desai said with a smile. “How are you?”

“Better now that I’ve seen my third daughter.” He hugged her tightly. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Why do you insist on calling her your _third_ daughter? Tom and D – they’re not married. And I doubt they’ll get married. I mean with Tom’s record. His career is his wife and there’ll not be another.”

“I think you’re wrong,” James said as Desai walked into the living room. She was taking pictures of the tree when she felt a small tug on the skirt of her dress. When she looked down she saw a toddler. She immediately moved so that she could be on the child’s level. “Hello,” she said with a smile.

“Heywo,” the little boy said shyly.

She sat down on the floor Indian style and was surprised when the child climbed into her lap. “What’s your name?”

“Joey,” he said as he tried to hide his face.

“I have a horse named Joey.”

“Really?!” he asked excitedly. “I wike horsies. What couro is he?”

“He’s black and white. I got a picture of him – you wanna see?” She smiled when he nodded furiously. “Okay, let’s take a look at the horsies.”

Tom stood propped against the doorframe watching as Desai and his best friend’s son Joey sat and looked at the pictures on Desai’s phone. He grinned when she said, “There’s Joey.”

“He’s big.” He looked up at her. “You ride him?”

“Ummhmm, he’s very gentle. Do you ride?”

“No, da’ say no.”

“How old are you, Joey?”

“Almos, tree.”

“Ahh, I was three when I started riding. I had my own pony and he looked like Joey but was a lot smaller.”

“Whe we wif we can’t have animas.”

She hugged him. “I’m so sorry, Joey.” Then she smiled, “If you could have an animal in your house what kind would it be?”

“Dog.”

“What kind of dog?”

“Ello with swirly hair.”

“Like this one?” She showed him a picture of a labradoodle.

“Yeh!”

“Would you like a stuffed one until you can get a real one?”

He nodded enthusiastically and took off, she got up, straightened her dress, and stood looking at the tree, completely unprepared for Diana’s tirade.

Tom had no idea what had set his mother off but she grabbed Desai by the arm and whirled her around, “That child now expects you to get him a dog!”

“And I will. It’s not a rea—”

“They cannot have animals where they live!”

“I know, Joey told me. And I asked him if he would like a –”

“You broke that child’s heart! Just the sight of you – I wish Larry had killed you!”

Everyone gasped, everyone except Desai. “If it would make you happy, I’d die right now.” Desai looked at Thomas. “I’ll pick you up later just give me a call, darlin’.” She shook her head at his expression. “Thomas, I can’t. I’m sorry. I love all of you, but I cannot stay knowing that – she hates me – and would rather I be dead – I’m so sorry, Thomas.” She turned before the tears started and sprinted out the door without her coat and shoes to the car.

Tom turned to his mother and ground out, “How could you? I’ll get a cab. You have no idea what you’ve done! Did it ever occur to you that I love that woman?! No?! Well, I do! And whether you like it or not – I am going to marry her!” He wiped his fingers through his hair. “I love you, mum. I do, but why? Why? Why do you treat her like this?! She’s the most kindhearted woman I have ever known and you treat her as if she’s a leper!”

“I – I’ve read what your fans have said and I also talked with her former in-laws. They had a lot to say about her and none of it was –”

Tom cut her off, “Of course they didn’t have anything good to say and never will. They tried to have the ventilator she was hooked up to after the accident shut off! They wanted her dead!” He stared at his mother, “I shouldn’t tell you this, but the theater you’ve been trying to get renovated – she’s the one that made that possible. She spent over a million pounds of her own money to have that ancient place made like new with the addendum that should it require more it will be given.” Tom was crying, he realized that was why Desai put some food back at the house.

She knew.

She knew that she would be spending, at least in part, her Christmas alone.

He slid down the wall with his head in his hands. “Somebody, anybody, take me home – please. I can’t do this. I need to be – I should be with Desai.”

“Come on, son,” James said to Tom as he headed outside.

***

Desai drove as carefully as she could with the tears streaming down her cheeks and blurring her vision. _Why?! Why did Diana – How could she hate me so? What have I done?_ Desai sobbed as she pulled into the garage and dragged herself into the house. Her head was pounding and all she wanted was to just be – be – alone.

She looked up when Thomas and James came in – “Desai,” Thomas said as he walked over to her and gathered her in his arms. “Oh, my love. I’m so sorry. I’m so –”

“Shhh, Thomas it’s okay, really. I should have just stayed here.”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” James said. “Everyone, well almost everyone considers you family. I really do look at you as another daughter. And you always will be.”

Emma, Sarah, and their husbands, along with Joey and little Joey carrying all the food that she had prepared. “What – you shouldn’t leave your mom alone – it’s Christmas.”

Desai looked down as little Joey tugged on her dress. “Di’ I get ‘ou in touble?”

She squatted down then picked him up, “No. You did not get me into trouble. Diana just didn’t understand, that I meant a stuffed doggie for you. Do you want to help me order it?”

He hugged her and smiled wiping the tears from his face.

Once the stuffed doggie was ordered they all sat and ate, but to Desai, it felt so different. “Your mom should be here, Thomas,” she whispered.

“You forgive her?” he asked surprised. He forgave his mother he told her that, but that didn’t mean he would allow his mother to hurt Desai again.

She nodded, “I do.” Smiling she said, “Why not invite her over?”

“No, I will not. She made her choice, Desai. If she cannot accept you being with me then that’s too bad for her. She’s the one missing out.” He caressed her face as he whispered, “I will not allow anyone to hurt you again, not mum, and not me … or Loki.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found writing this was hard as it brought back memories that I would rather forget.


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cat has been let out of the bag -- Tom couldn't keep Desai to himself any longer. He's outed her.  
> Then he gets frisky when Desai doesn't pay attention to him because she's engrossed in a book. 
> 
> Be prepared for sex and more sex.

**January – One Year Later**

“I just have one more question for you, Tom,” the female interviewer questioned with a big smile.

“Okay, sure, ask away!” He nodded and smiled back.

“There has been a bit of hubbub around this photo,” she pulled a photo out of Desai and Thomas having lunch together at a small, what he thought had been, a secluded café. They had been sitting at an outside table, Bobby begging as usual – and Thomas was kissing her cheek, smiling like a teenage boy on his first date. He felt his cheeks warm as he rubbed the back of his neck and smoothed his hair then licked his lips. _A sure sign he was nervous._

“We were wondering who the mystery woman is,” the interviewer asked.

“Uhhh … mmmm,” his signature ‘ehehehehehe’ coming out as he searched for the words he wanted to say. _Oh to hell with it! It was time everyone knew!_ “She is Desai Alexander, the single most gorgeous woman in the entire universe,” he responded with a magnificent smile.

“Aww, that’s so sweet! How long have you two been together?”

“A year this month, we met at my father’s birthday dinner last year in London. She actually saved his life. Desai has made this past year the most amazing year of my life! She’s supportive of me and my hectic schedule. She surprises me at work with homemade sweets and food for the entire crew! She’s kind, generous, and honest, loves animals, and has a heart of gold. **_And_** hands down is one of the best cooks ever!”

The interviewer was very nearly ready to keel over she was so captivated with listening to him talk. “She’s a ray of genuine sunshine. She’s deliciously funny and silly and loves to have fun as much as I do. Since she’s come into my life, I can’t imagine what I’d do without her. She’s my sunshine on my rainy days and I’m absolutely crazy about her!”

“Wow, so romantic!” She giggled girlishly making Tom laugh. “And you said her name is Desai Alexander?”

“Yes.” He chuckled. “I know she’s watching this right now so I’m probably in trouble.” _I love you, Desai! My one and only._

“Oh no!” She laughed. “We’ve ruined it for you!”

“I’m sure she’ll be fine! I’ll buy her some of our favorite sweets on the way home,” he said as he waved his hand trying to play it off but was actually very nervous about Desai’s reaction. As always, Thomas shook hands with the interviewer and thanked her before leaving.

His comment about buying sweets had been a bit of a joke but now, as he got closer to home, it did seem like a good idea. He had the driver stop in at their favorite bakery, they knew him here and when he asked for a selection, they knew what his and Desai’s favorites were. As they neared the house, he began to rehearse his apology over and over in his head.

Finally, they pulled up to the house Tom paused before he reached for the box of sweets. He grabbed the box and quickly made his way to the front door. “Darling, I’m home!” He immediately heard her footsteps running down the stairs and towards him from the living room and he prepared himself.

The moment she heard his voice she shouted, “Thomas!” then began to run to him. She jumped him, wrapping her arms and legs around him, causing him to “oomph” as she grabbed him in a hug smashing the box between them as her momentum pushed him back against the door.

 _Did she see the interview?_ “Ummm, love I stopped in at the bakery and got some of our favorites,” he said as he showed her the somewhat crumpled box.

Desai could see he was nervous and a bit more color than usual was in his cheeks.

_Should I drag it out and act as if I know nothing about the interview?_

_That would be mean … and your point is?_

_He needs to be – Loki’d!_

“Did you see – have you watched the Telly this evening?” he asked as he swiped a hand through his hair and rubbed the back of his neck then licked his lips.

She smiled at the sure sign he was nervous. “Off and on. Why?”

_I was not about to make this easy for him. The tabloids had not been nice to me. Calling me a Black Widow, printing that fans hated me … I mean after all he did out me without asking or talking to me first. I didn’t mind – I mean having Thomas declare how he felt was an amazing achievement. I just may need to send that reporter a thank you note, some flowers, and candy._

“Did you see the interview?” he asked warily.

“Why? What happened?” she asked as she took the box from his hands and headed for the kitchen, but not before she kissed him. “Would you like some tea? I have the kettle going. Or is it too late for you to have coffee?”

 _Desai,_ her conscience began, _you’ll surely go to Hell for this._

 _Well, it’s his fault,_ she argued. _He and Loki have taught me a lot, especially Loki. I’ve learned to create a bit of mischief on my own._

Thomas followed closely behind her trying to decipher her feelings. He had seen her angry and knew how well she could hide it when she wanted to. He also remembered the last time she had been left alone with fresh pastries – the little minx had mixed up a horrible concoction of ketchup, mustard and mayonnaise and inserted that into – what was supposed to be his custard-filled doughnuts. He didn’t trust her alone with pastries – now. “Nothing happened, not really. I was asked about a picture of us.”

“Oh? Which one?” she asked innocently as she placed the pastries onto a glass-covered cake plate.

Thomas raised an eyebrow and said, “The one where we were at that little café in Dublin, and Bobby was with us.” He shifted his stance and put his hands in his pockets. “You really didn’t see the interview?”

She couldn’t go on with the façade any longer. She turned and began to laugh. “Thomas, I swear sometimes you are so gullible! Did you honestly think that I could not or would not watch you give an interview? How could I be mad at you?!” She moved to wrap her arms around him, but he stopped her.

_Uh-oh. My mischief may have just backfired._

“I probably should be mad, but I’m not. You said the most wonderful and sweet things about me. Oh, you are my everlasting earendel.” She grinned broadly meeting his eyes, “And you’ve just been Loki’d!” She mimicked what he had done so many times.

“That’s not fair,” he said.

“Let’s not speak about fairness, shall we. You outed me without my consent, so _you_ brought on this little charade, but I’m not mad, and please –”

“I’m not upset with you,” he grinned and did one of his ehehehehehe laughs. He tucked a strand of curly errant hair behind her ear. “I just couldn’t keep us – you – basically a secret anymore. I got so tired of the papers calling you a mystery woman and all those other names. I want people to know we are together – that we are a couple. And I have for a very long time. I want everyone to know that I have a life and I want to share that life with you. I know I went about it the wrong way and I’m sorry.”

“I’m not mad, Thomas.” She laughed softly. “You’re such a sweet man.” She reached up to caress his face and he leaned into her touch.

“Desai, I meant what I said in the interview this evening.” Thomas looked straight through me; he knew her deepest thoughts and desires and her need to have him near and her need to have him hold her and for her to hold him. She looked down at her feet as her face became heated. She knew that look, and she wanted what he wanted, to be entwined like honeysuckle vines in the wild.

“Desai, darling, look at me,” he implored as his right hand tenderly touched her jawline as his other hand twined his fingers first around hers then moving up her arm then down to her waist, pulling her closer. When her head was resting on his shoulder, he ever so gently cupped her face in his large hands tilting it up so that she was looking into his eyes. “What I said this evening was not just a line, Desai. I meant what I said, you really are the single most gorgeous woman in the entire universe, and I am so very blessed to have you in my life.” His smile and earnestness made her start to cry. “Don’t cry, love. When you cry you ruin a beautiful face.”

She sniffled burying her face in his shirt clinging to his waist. “Oh, Thomas! You make me feel like I’m the only woman that’s ever been in your life. How do you do that?”

“Because you _are_ the only woman in my life. You’re my one and only, Desai. I want no one else,” he tipped her face up so that their eyes met. “Look at me, Desai. I need to see that smile – the one that can light up an entire room. I need to see those green-gold eyes as they sparkle like gemstones. I want to get lost in you. I want to look into those beautiful eyes and drown and then absorb every cell of your being.”

Thomas must have sensed her need as he lowered his head and kissed her gently at first grasping her face tenderly between his hands he began to devour her ever so slowly as he moved a hand around her waist pulling her closer then walking her backward to the wall. She moaned softly as he nipped at her neck moving so that he could position her hands above her head holding them there with his left hand as his right hand cupped her breast making her arch into him. She moaned into his mouth as their tongues danced together in a slow and steady rhythm. “Let’s go to the bedroom,” she whispered and immediately felt herself being lifted into his arms.

She barely felt or realized that she was being laid down on their bed until Thomas began to undress her. _Oh, how he knew where to touch me!_ He had a way of sending pure passion through her body and straight to her soul. Each gentle touch and motion sent her heart racing and her body arching into his.

She watched as he removed his jacket and then began on the buttons of his shirt. Without warning, she grabbed the opening and ripped it apart sending buttons flying. “You just ruined another of my shirts,” he said with mock anger.

“I’ll buy you all the damn shirts you will ever want or need. Right now, I need you – deep inside me – thrusting that magnificent cock into me as deep and as slowly as you can,” She said as she arched her hips and he pulled her pants and panties off with one smooth move. “Leave your pants on, I want to feel as if you’re so hungry for me you didn’t take the time to fully undress. Please, Thomas.”

He smiled as only he could and said, “Well since you put it that way. What my lady wants my lady gets.”

“Thomas, you’re an amazing man. An amazing actor. And an amazing lover,” she moaned the last as he entered her painfully slow.

He reached down and wrapped her legs around his waist. “Tonight is for my lady, my one, and only. The only one I’ll ever need or want. I’ve finally found what I was looking for.”

The lady that brought up the picture really sealed the deal for them so to speak. Desai had made sure the reporter knew how she felt. She sent her a bouquet of white and dark pink roses, a handmade card, and a huge box of _Godiva_ chocolates. Everyone now knew who Desai was and that Thomas and she were a couple. And had been for over a year.

If you read the rags depending on their expression, they were either head over heels in love or breaking up. Well, they got the head over heels part right at least for Desai. She was more in love with Thomas than she ever thought possible, and he cared for and treated her as if she were a queen.

Rumors had started about Thomas and Desai when they began to attend events together. Desai couldn’t always be with him but when she was she wanted to let him shine, he was, after all, the celebrity, but Thomas would often twine his fingers with hers as he answered questions from the various reporters. She stood back, usually talking with Luke as Thomas signed autographs for his adoring fans. She didn’t mind; without those fans, Thomas would not be where he was. _You have to have an audience and he certainly had an audience._

 _Loki_ had been renewed for yet another season so that meant they were back in Georgia. Desai loved winters in the South. They were usually short, not too cold, but often times wet.

They were both happy and things were going great for Thomas. He had been so, so busy but was so happy and it made her heart glad for him. They went everywhere together, and the interviewers were always asking him questions about their relationship. He would reply that they were happy and to please allow them privacy. If Desi was asked about them she repeated what Thomas had said with a huge smile.

She had stayed home the day they were going to be bouncing around on cables preferring to get some paperwork finished for the company rather than sit, frightened out of her wits as the man she loved went flying through the air or be bored out of her gourd.

He had texted her earlier saying that prep was going well but that he was probably going to be a little late getting home. She understood. The _Loki_ series was a huge deal for him and for his fans. He had brought the mythological god to life for so many, her included.

Desi took the time to take a long hot bath, using Thomas’ favorite perfume afterward. She made some of her and Thomas’ favorite Mexican Hot Chocolate and found a copy of _The Beach House_ by James Patterson. She had dressed in an older tee shirt of Thomas’s along with an older pair of gym shorts.

She checked on the pot-roast cooking in the crockpot, covered the Parker House rolls that had been baked earlier then made sure the bread pudding was covered so it wouldn’t dry out. Thomas loved his sweets. She would never understand how he could eat the way he did and stay trim and fit, but then he was never still. He was always moving unless he was reading a book. 

As she sat reading, she became so engrossed, which was nothing unusual for her, that she completely blocked everything out. She had not heard Thomas unlock the door or call for her.

Thomas came into the living room, his light jacket over his arm, his hair disheveled from the rehearsal, wearing a black tee-shirt and joggers; the comfortable clothes making it easier for him to train. It had been an exhausting day and he was happy to be home, to be with the woman he loved, but when Desai didn’t reply he wondered if she had gone out.

When he spotted her, curled up in the armchair, he couldn’t help but laugh quietly to himself knowing just how easily she found herself drawn into books. The woman loved to read and had almost five thousand books on her _Kindle_. She hadn’t realized he was home or just how close he was until she felt his hands on her shoulders and the kiss to the back of her head.

Her entire body was immobilized at the contact and she let out a squeal of surprise, which made him chuckle softly, as she glared at him playfully. When she saw the smirk on his face she slapped at his arm and shook her head. “Careful Thomas, Loki is showing,” she scolded as he moved round to pick her up and sit her on his lap wrapping his arms tenderly around her. “How was your day? Looks like they really did a number on you. I saw the video, how’s your arm?”

“Don’t deny it you know you love to have a little Loki in you,” he whispered into her ear playfully before leaning back a little. “It was exhausting, and I am very glad to be back home. And my arm is fine, love.”

He laughed softly as Desai moved so that she could kiss his cheek, “You missed,” he said as he cupped her chin so that she was looking into his eyes as he slightly lowered his head giving her a sweet soft kiss on her lips. “Ah, love you are a balm to my aching soul. Truly you are.” He lifted one of his arms, “Gads! I stink! I need a shower! Why didn’t you tell me I smelled so bad?!”

She giggled, “You just smell like a man to me.” She wiggled her brows, “A sexy, stinky man.”

He laughed and playfully pushed her off his lap both laughing at his antics. Thomas took the book away from her and tossed it on the large sofa knowing that she would be waiting for him when he came back in.

She curled into the corner of the sofa as once again her thoughts were focused on the words tuning out the world around her. She felt Thomas sit down and drape a long arm across her shoulders. He smelled good now, body wash and shampoo mingling with the clean scent of his skin. She snuggled in closer, although she partially kept her mind on the book, she could feel his long slender fingers rubbing her arm which made her smile. They sat like that for what seemed like hours, she reading and Thomas watching television.

After a while, though Thomas began to feel a bit frustrated at being ignored. _Was she not aware that he had missed her?_ He glanced over at Desai, _damn what a beauty!_ As always he let his imagination go and that guided his hands and soon, they began to roam along her body. Hands and fingers drifted down and up along her arms, then trailing along her collarbone, down her sides and even finding the edge of her top to put his hand underneath. He moved a little and began to gently kiss along her neck, his hands lightly rubbing along the top of her gym shorts, making her shift a little and take hold of his hand to move it to her thigh.

She was in a playful mood and she hoped Thomas was too, but she wondered just how far she could push him before he took control – which she wanted – needed – him to do. When his fingers grazed the sensitive skin at the juncture of her neck and shoulders, she gave him a playful scowl.

Tom watched her breathing as it hitched a little then picked up, and yet she still kept her focus on that damn book! _What has a man got to do?!_ Stepping up his attention he began to nip, lick, and kiss her neck in the most sensitive spots, even suckling her neck leaving tiny love bites, that’s when he heard her sigh softly trying to hold back her moans. He noticed her eyes were drifting from her book and he took the chance to take it and gave it a toss across the room.

Desai looked at Thomas, he was wearing a huge smirk, “Careful there Thomas Hiddleston, Loki is definitely showing. Again. He’s a bad influence and for sure he’s more than rubbed off on you.” She tapped the end of his nose, “I’d be careful if I were you.”

“Oh yes, he has rubbed off on me, but I doubt you dislike it,” he chuckled as he lifted her to sit on his lap letting his hands freely roam her body. “Now I’m not going to mention any names, but someone’s been naughty and has ignored me the whole time I’ve been here, Desai Alexander.” He pointed to the floor a few feet away, “That book has had more attention than me. I don’t like it when books get more attention than me. I believe that someone, namely me, should teach you not to ignore me. I think I will just show you what naughty girls get when they ignore me.”

“Don’t you dare tickle me, Thomas,” she warned. The last time he had he’d ended up getting slightly injured. “And I had better be the _only_ naughty girl you show _anything_ to.

“I won’t tickle you. The thought never entered my mind,” he lied. _Well, it had but he had more important things he wanted to do right now._ “You are the only naughty girl I know…or want to know.” He moved his hands so that they were laying on her stomach as he eased his old shirt up until her skin was exposed then he began to tease her skin with his thumbs before he moved his right hand slowly into those shorts to tease her sensitive flesh. He kept moving his hand lower slowly moving past her panties to tease her covered moist flesh, feeling the wetness gathered there he gently moved until his fingers were upon that wet and hot flesh. Ever so slowly he began to tease her clit in the way he knew she loved. Her soft moan was enough to spur him on. He loved how she responded to him, her soft moans of pleasure, her increased respirations, the way she jerked as he hit a sweet spot, how she arched into his hand, and tipped her head back as he moved his fingers and lips across her bare skin.

Tom slowly kept increasing the pressure against her clit, moving with her he watched the way she arched and moaned wanting more. He whispered into her ear, “I told you naughty girls get lessons.” He made sure to keep just enough pressure to keep her wound up but not enough for release wanting to drive her to the edge and keep her there.

Tom wanted to hear her plead for him to give her the release he knew she needed, he wanted her to beg. When she whimpered and clung to him to move his hand deeper, he removed his hand completely. When she groaned in frustration from the loss of contact, Tom said, “I told you, Desai, seems that you’re in need of being taught how not to ignore me. And being the _benevolent god_ – _man_ , I am … I am more than glad to teach you, my pet.” His voice rumbled low and sexily against her ear as he lifted her, “Tonight, Sweetling, you belong to me. You will be mine in every way I want, and I require your full attention.”

She almost whimpered at Thomas’s tone when his arms tightened around her pulling her close as he carried her.

Tom groaned as he heard Desai’s small whimper. It had been a couple of weeks since he had gotten dominant with her and they both knew they needed this. He looked down at her face her eyes on his; he loved how her green eyes sparkled with gold as if lit from within.

They were Loki’s colors and that pleased him to no end. He loved it when she was like this, when she was pliant to him, playful, yet obedient, but what he loved more was to hear her beg for her release.

He felt the way her hands roamed over his chest and back, and fake dropped her a couple of times to make her cling to him rather than let her hands wander down her body to her sex.

_Oh, no he was not going to allow her to obtain release yet and certainly not by her own hand._

“Stop, Desai,” he ordered. “Who is in charge here?” he asked.

“You are Thomas.”

“Who’s the man the _only_ man who will ever make you cum?”

“You are Thomas,” she murmured.

“That’s right my little pet. Me and me alone. I was the first man to ever make love to you and by god, I will be the only man to make you cum! Why do you choose to ignore me? It wounds me when you don’t greet me at the door. It makes me wonder what or who you’re doing,” he said almost angrily.

“Thomas! You are my one and only. I wouldn’t … I couldn’t …”

“Ignoring me from now on will not be an option, do you understand me, Desai?” he asked as he tossed her onto their bed, smirking at her, and then laughing as she bounced. He then slowly stripped out of his pajamas. He made sure that she watched each garment leave his body and watched as her beautiful eyes wandered over his body then chuckled deeply, “Strip, Desai, and do it slowly,” he commanded.

Thomas stalked over to Desai, his gaze unsmiling and he switched into his domineering façade then slowly snaked over the top of her like a big cat once Desai was naked.

“Thomas, I didn’t…I couldn’t …” Desai whimpered, and it sounded pitiful. He silenced her with a domineering kiss closing the space between them, grasping her hands, and holding them above her head as he ever so slowly deepened the kiss. Smiling against her lips as she moaned.

“Shhh, shhh, Desai. I don’t want to hear anything come out of that beautiful mouth of yours other than your begging. Your moans. And my name. Do you understand?” Thomas’ voice rumbled deeply against her lips as he moved to wrap her legs around his hips.

“Yes, Thomas.”

Grasping her hands, he held her down grinding his cock against her sensitive clit making them both groan at the sudden burst of pleasure that surged through them.

He smiled down at her as he aligned his cock against her wet entrance and thrust his full length into her stretching her perfectly. Smiling at her loud moan of pleasure. “Ummm, yes, just like that, love.”

Kissing and biting along her neck, he found the most sensitive parts of her skin and angled his thrusts to make sure he hit all those delicious sweet spots that made her moan. He felt, and watched, the way her body arched into him and heard the way her moans changed as he found all those hypersensitive areas making sure to build her pleasure up and hold her on the edge. His thrusts had been powerful, building Desai up but not allowing her to climax.

When he realized she was close, he deliberately slowed his movements holding her on that frustrating precipice. Thomas smiled at her as he saw the frustration building when she couldn’t find her release, she tried to grind her hips and thrust upward, “Oh, no you don’t, love,” he said as he grabbed her hips pinning her down stilling her movements making her whimper, “Thomas …”

“Desai, my precious pet,” he deepened his voice, “you know what I want to hear. Little one, you know what to do. If you want your release, my love,” he moaned deeply against her ear, “You’d better beg me for it,” he murmured as he bit her earlobe. “Just so you know, your safe word ‘beets’ will not be valid – not tonight,” he whispered and then smiled as she shivered beneath him.

“Thomas, I am so close! Please,” she begged, “Pleeeeaaaasssseeee, I promise I won’t ignore you again. I swear it! Please! I’m so close, baby!” she pleaded in a whimper softly below him leaning up to give him a kiss and he moving so that their lips would not meet.

“Naha, ahh. You know what I want to hear, Desai,” he growled.

Desai swallowed, _why was it so hard to give in to him at times?_ “Oh please, Thomas, please make me cum.” Tears of frustration built up in her eyes, “Please, Thomas, make me cum for you. I promise I will never ignore you again. Oh, please, Thomas, make me cum!”

He smirked at that and it spurred him on as he picked up speed and force as he once again hit all the right places for her. Desai arched into him meeting him thrust for thrust as he moved his right hand between them to fondle the swollen sensitive bundle of nerves to push her over the edge. Watching her face was a glorious sight as her head tipped back and her inner muscles tightened around him as she climaxed. She almost closed her eyes, but he knew she knew he liked her to look at him when she came. “Thomas, I’m cumming!” she moaned as she bucked wildly against him. The way her muscles tightened around him milking him always made him lose control of his thrusts as his own climax followed Desai’s.

They both moaned and he kissed her deeply as they rode out their orgasm, he allowing her the pleasure of him to stay inside her until he was flaccid. When he moved from her, he pulled her close so that she could lay her head on his chest; their breathing slowed back to normal after a few minutes as Desai traced patterns across his chest.

She laughed softly and said, “If this is what happens to me for ignoring you. I just may have to do it again.” She didn’t look at Thomas as she spoke, but she knew he was glowering at her as she heard his huff of air. “I’m joking, Thomas, but it was intense. And as always you were amazing.”

Thomas liked the way she snuggled against him as he gently rubbed her back letting his fingers mirror what hers were doing on his chest. He kissed her head as they lay together in the afterglow of passion until his stomach growled loudly making them laugh.

Desai moved closer and gave him a kiss on his cheek as she said softly, “I should get you some supper,” as she made to stand up, but was held back by his arm tightening around her and not letting her go.

Thomas smiled as he pulled her closer and lazily said, “Food can wait, my love. Right now, I just want to hold you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot take credit for this chapter -- my muse (thank you, Sharon, for telling me that yours pretty much does the same thing) woke me up -- kept tugging at my toe and yelling, "Get your ass up! You've got to write this! Right now!" So I did. This chapter is my four in the morning ramblings. 
> 
> By the way -- do any of you wake up horny?


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another Valentine's Day is shared

Filming for _Loki_ Season Two continued, and things were pretty much going as planned. Fans of all ages were there every day at every location watching for any sign of Tom. He smiled, waved, signed, and repeated those actions throughout the day.

Desai had been busy in New York with meetings for the past few days, she had turned everything over to the CEO, President, and Vice President. She still owned the company and was free to drive and train whenever she wanted, but she no longer ran Alexander Trucking. It had been a rough week lots of the employees, both men and women had been sick and she was now afraid she had caught the mess; she had been sick every day sometimes all day and she had also missed Thomas’s touch. She knew that if she could just hold him she would feel so much better.

They were known to be a couple, but she allowed him his space when he was dealing with fans or doing his required publicity interviews and photoshoots. She was more often than not, there, but always stayed in the background unless he was holding her hand then she gladly stood there as they interviewed him.

He was the celebrity.

She didn’t want to be in the spotlight unless absolutely necessary. She did not want to disturb his acting in any way and was given a special clearance badge from the studio after she had signed a shitload of papers. All the crew and other cast members knew who she was and that Thomas and she were together.

They also tended not to interrupt if his trailer was rocking.

Desai had spent the last four days in New York. She had not seen Thomas since his birthday on the ninth of February and it was now Valentine’s Day. She had spent the last three days sick as a dog, but determined to make him a special card, wrap his vintage silk ties, and even made some of his favorite treats; Hob Nobs, berry tarts, mini-pecan pies, and chocolate chip cookies before leaving New York.

She stood patiently just inside his trailer barely able to contain her excitement. She found herself to be as excited as one of his fangirls as she listened carefully for his footsteps then the door opened.

“Desai,” he whispered as his eyes widened and he gathered her into his arms. “God, I’ve missed you!” he exclaimed just before he kissed her tenderly but deeply. She moaned as she pulled him closer and her insides clenched with need.

It was always strange seeing him in his full Loki look, intimidating and sexy, and it left her breathless, “And I you, oh Thomas, I –” she almost blurted she loved him, swallowing it down she said, “I’ve missed you too!”

“You feel so good!” he said joyfully as he hugged her tightly, his hands wandering down over her sides to grasp her ass and pull her even closer. “I wish you never had to leave my side. I –” _Why can’t I tell you how I feel?_ “I want to take you out but it being Valentine’s Day you’ll have to settle for me cooking your dinner. I didn’t know you were going to be here.”

“I wanted to surprise you and you are right,” she said as he pulled back to face her. “No more meetings. And as far as a restaurant, I’ll take your cooking over that any day. You gonna wear this to do it? Damn, you’re sexy!” She giggled as he made a noncommittal shrug and his cheeks colored a bit, “I made you some treats.” She laughed as he sniffed the air and then spotted the box with all the goodies.

“I don’t care about those; I don’t want to let you go. I’ve missed you, truly I have,” he said as he caressed her cheek. “I am so glad that you will not have to be flying here and there and we can be together more. I love waking up with you at my side. That bed is just too damned big for only one.” _Should I tell her I’ve taken to sleeping on the couch?_ He lifted her and she wrapped her legs around his waist. “I’ve missed this,” he whispered against her neck smiling as he felt her shudder.

“Mmm, me too,” she purred as she lightly nibbled his ear lobe then slowly worked her way around to his lips, “I’ve missed these and this.” She ran her hands under his overcoat and squeezed his sides.

“Oh, this damned costume!” he complained. “It’s so hard to get into and out of!” He sighed, “I want to bury myself inside you, love,” he breathed against her ear.

“Then I will stop teasing you. Let’s have a seat, love,” she suggested as he lowered her so that she was once again standing. She passed him his gifts and the treat box, smiling at the boyish grins and noises he was making as he viewed the ties. “I’ll wear this one instead of the black one next time they put me in a suit.” It was dark green silk and had tiny dots of black making it shimmer. “When did you have time to make these?” he asked as he plopped a mini blackberry tart in his mouth. “Mmm.”

“I made them yesterday before I went to bed. I wanted them to be fresh.”

We both turned as there was a knock on the door. “Mr. Hiddleston, you’re needed back on set. Five minutes.”

“Loki has work to do,” she said with a smile.

“Yes, but no reason you cannot walk with me,” he said with a wink.

“You know what that’ll do, Thomas. Just more fodder for the tabs and paps.”

He whirled, booming, “I don’t care! I have a beautiful woman who has made me like hearing my name and makes me homemade Hob Nobs and berry tarts; I want the world to see her.” _And I don’t care what anyone thinks, I love you!_

“Okay,” she nodded as they walked back out to the set holding hands. She watched as phones were held up, they knew they were being filmed and pictures were being taken but neither cared. Desai was as surprised as everyone else when Thomas took her face in his hands and kissed her long and slowly. She didn’t mind the PDA but it was very unusual for Tom to do so. He was always so very private.

“My one and only,” he whispered against her lips. She stood there like a stupid fangirl with a silly-assed grin on her face bobbing back and forth on her boot heels.

Thomas never took his eyes off her as he was hooked into the safety harness and then lifted. She walked over to where Thomas’s chair was and sat down. Even though the chair was not that comfortable she was soon asleep. She had been doing a lot of that lately. No energy, just feeling blah all the time. And nauseated. A lot. _I hope it’s not the flu, some of the guys had had a bad bug of some sort. I hope I didn’t get it,_ she thought as she drifted into a dream where Tom and she were flying.

Tom smiled at the image of Desai asleep in his chair, he lifted her gently now noticing that she had lost weight and in this light, he could see she had not been sleeping well; she had never been overly heavy but on her five-foot-nine frame she had been curvy in all the right places.

She was still all woman, but she now felt at least a stone lighter and she had been gone less than a week. He turned so that he still held her as he sat fully aware that there were pictures being taken and he didn’t mind. He didn’t care who knew they were together he felt freer with her than with anyone else.

They had talked about life, about work, about the future and calmed each other down just by being together. He loved her more and more each day, he thought, as he tenderly placed a lock of her hair behind her ear.

One reporter rushed the barrier and ran toward them bursting out loudly with, “Are the two of –”

Desai came awake suddenly at the loud noise and as she did the nausea turned into projectile vomiting aimed straight at the intruder’s feet. Tom pushed her hair out of the way as she continued to heave. “Love, what’s the matter?” he asked worriedly.

“I don’t know,” she gasped as dry heaves took over. “Been like this almost all week,” she sagged against him, “Some of the guys were sick I probably caught something. I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

“Nothing to be sorry about. You got rid of that nasty reporter,” he murmured near her ear.

“Can someone take me home?” she asked weakly.

“I would rather you stay here, love. You can rest in my trailer,” he suggested as he gathered her once again in his arms and headed away. Once she was lying comfortably on her right side; _“It will help with the nausea,”_ she had reassured him as he placed a cool cloth on her forehead. He promised, “I’ll be back to check on you as soon as I can, love. Would you like someone to stay with you? I really wish you would.”

She nodded and snuggled deeper into the comforter, it smelled like Thomas and had a calming effect. _I love you_ , she thought as she drifted back into slumber. Her dreams had, more often than not, been turbulent, fractured, and nightmarish. This one was no different as she tossed about on the bed.

The young woman who was sitting with Desai sprinted off as soon as she started screaming. Desai knew what it was – she knew what caused it. The years with Andrew and the abuse plus the wreck. There were things in her dreams that she never knew if they were real memories resurfacing or just her mind playing tricks on her.

She awoke with a start knowing that once again the nausea had returned. She was able to make it to the bathroom and that’s where Thomas found her. Dry heaving her guts out.

_Happy Valentine’s Day!_

“You are going to the hospital and I want no arguments, darling. You’ve lost weight and have not been sleeping well, my love.”

“How do you know that?” she asked with tears streaming between heaves.

“Makeup will only cover so much, and I picked you up. My guess is that you’ve lost about fifteen to twenty pounds and you’ve been gone less than a week.” He tenderly stroked her arm. “Now, Desai, should I call an ambulance, or will you allow one of the crew to take you to a hospital?”

“Crew. No ambulance. Too much attention.”

**Five hours later**

“Doc, I’m on birth control pills, there’s no way I can be pregnant.” She stated with confidence as she gave the doctor a _‘are you sure you know what the hell you are doing’_ look. “There’s just no way. You need to take those tests again, because… and I repeat. I. Am. Not. Pregnant.”

“You said you take St. John’s Wort.”

“Yes, it helps with everyday anxiety,” she said in answer to his all-knowing smile as the confidence left her and trepidation took over.

_NO! NO! NO! No, no, no, no, no! A thousand times no! I am not pregnant! I cannot be pregnant!_

_…oh my God I’m pregnant!_

_Good, God!_

_How am I going to tell Thomas?!_

“Ms. Alexander, I understand you were a nurse.

“Yes, an R.N.”

“So, you understand the medical jargon. You have hyperemesis gravidarum and because of that you are going to be admitted and given fluids and will be staying at least for a couple of days maybe longer depending on how severe your electrolytes are off-balance from the vomiting. I’m also going to do some tests to make sure the little fella is where it’s supposed to be and not an ectopic pregnancy.”

Desai only nodded. She automatically looked to her flat stomach and placed her hands protectively over it.

To say she was in shock was the understatement of the decade. That one question kept going through her head: _How was I going to tell Thomas?_

He trusted her to tell him the truth and she knew he would ask her, and she knew she would have to tell him.

He had often said he didn’t care about perfection because no one was perfect; it was honesty he wanted, and honesty is what she had always given him.

_But how was I going to tell him?_

When Tom walked into the hospital room it was déjà vu although she wasn’t bruised or beaten, she was ill.

Desai felt as if someone were watching her and when she opened her eyes there was Thomas. “Hey, babe,” she whispered softly. “I’m sorry, I messed up your Valentine’s Day,” she said as she began to weep.

_And your life._

_Please you can hate me all you want but not the baby._

“Shh, love. You haven’t messed up anything. I spoke with the nurses and they said that whatever you would like to eat you can have it.” He paused as he gazed into her green eyes, he saw fear there among the tears and wondered why. “Desai, what’s the matter? Please tell me. I can see you’re frightened.”

“You know me too, too well, Thomas William Hiddleston.” She patted his hand in reassurance as she sniffled. “I’m dehydrated and it’s my own fault.”

_Well, I didn’t lie there!_

“There’s more to it than simple dehydration. I thought you were going to toss up a lung, or last week’s lunch.” he smiled at her, “Whatever is the matter we’ll see it through together.” He laughed, then said, “I was talking to Chris earlier and he asked me if you were pregnant. I laughed at him and said no you made sure to take your birth control. And besides, both of us have this old-fashioned notion that a couple should be married first.”

Just as she was about to speak the doctor walked in and with a smile asked, “So are you the father?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Valentine's Day!


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom's and his mum's reaction to Desai's pregnancy is very different.

His mouth dropped open as his knees became weak, and he looked from the doctor to Desai and back at the doctor and then back at her, almost like he was watching a tennis match. “But, you’re on birth control … Aren’t you?” he asked as he dropped into the bedside chair.

It was the tone of his voice with that one question that made her heart almost stop. Confusion, accusation, and anger. “You know I am!” she replied hurtfully as she began to cry.

Tom ran his hands through his already disheveled hair as he held his head in his hands. He hadn’t meant to sound so accusatory, but … _but what? You love her and you want children before you’re too old to enjoy them._ He whirled his head around as he realized the doctor was speaking to him.

“Sir, with all due respect, this is not Ms. Alexander’s fault. She has been taking St. John’s Wort and that often affects the effectiveness of oral contraceptives. Desai has been taking it along with her contraceptive the past few months to help with her stress and anxiety, and I’m not sure why she did not become pregnant before, but it is certain she is pregnant now.” The doctor patted Desai’s leg reassuringly, “Radiology, will be coming up shortly to take you down for those tests. Like I said, I just want to make sure the little fella is where it’s supposed to be.”

Tom looked at the doctor and asked fearfully, “Where else would it be?” _He couldn’t accept that they had come so far for something to happen to her now! If he had to choose, it would be her – always! They could always adopt!_

“Sometimes, especially with the symptoms she’s having, the egg, once fertilized, can attach itself inside the fallopian tube instead of traveling to the uterus as it should or in rare cases in the ovary itself. We call that an ectopic pregnancy. When that happens, it places the mother in a life or death situation.”

“What if that is the case?” Tom asked cautiously as he blindly searched for Desai’s hand.

_He wasn’t ready._

_They weren’t married._

_He hadn’t told her how he felt, and she hadn’t said she loved him, but he felt that she did. Did she?_

_Did she love him?_

“Then the pregnancy will require surgical termination of the pregnancy and possible removal of the fallopian tube or ovary. There would be no way around it. Desai would die unless the pregnancy was terminated. But we don’t need to be thinking negative. I’m keeping a positive attitude about this.” He looked at Tom then at Desai. “Unless you want to terminate the pregnancy.”

She shook her head causing her curls to fly wildly about her head. “No! I want this baby!” She began to weep her body shaking with every sob. She grabbed his hand and gave it a tight squeeze as she looked into his eyes, “Thomas, I know we didn’t plan on this and I know you’re not ready, but it has happened. I already love this baby just as much as I,” she lowered her voice to a whisper, “As much as I – I love you.”

The doctor smiled as he left the room and closed the door. It was clear these two loved each other, she was barely a month along. He felt that she would be fine with the Hartmann’s IV Solution to replace the fluids she was losing and so would the father once he got over the shock of an unplanned pregnancy.

“I would never want an abortion the thought never entered my mind. I’m just shocked. I thought we were protected …” _Did she just say she loves me?!_

“I’m so sorry. I understand, but it’s happened, Thomas. Even the best-laid plans can come undone.” _Does he love me? Why isn’t he saying something?_

Radiology chose that moment to come into the room, “Ms. Desai Alexander?”

“I’m right here.”

“I need to take you down to ultrasound.” Tom stood to follow, as the woman instructed, “It’s better if you stay here unless you just want to walk and then wait in the lobby.”

“No. I want him with me, and I know it’s my right to have one person with me. He’s the father and I don’t want anything hidden from him.”

“Then follow us, sir.”

Desai watched as Thomas kept running fingers through his hair a sure sign he was nervous and more than likely just as scared as she was. She took becoming a parent seriously and she knew Thomas would too. They had talked about it, he wanted children and so did she.

She began to argue with herself as she was wheeled down the long corridor.

_But this was not the right time!_

_Then again an unplanned pregnancy was rarely the right time!_

_Oh, but you will be loved!_ She rubbed her hands over her abdomen.

Tom looked at Desai, as she was wheeled down the corridor, she looked so frightened, fragile, pale, smaller, and more delicate than he had ever seen her. He knew how she felt now. He was just waiting for the right time to tell her. He smiled at her encouragingly when she glanced up at him. “I do love you, Thomas. Truly I do,” she said in affirmation. He nodded in response still too shocked to say anything. “I feel so stupid. I should have told you before now how I felt.”

Once inside the Ultrasound room, Desai moved from the wheelchair and onto the bed careful of her IV. The technician covered her legs with a warm blanket and Tom took a seat beside the bed. “This gel might feel cold to you. Just try to relax. If there is any pain at any time let me know immediately.”

“Okay,” she said reaching out automatically for Thomas’s hand.

“I’m right here, darling,” he whispered next to her ear still unable to tell her how he felt. The last time he had said those words he had been accused of using the woman for gain which wasn’t true, he had loved her and for the right reasons or so he had thought until all the small digs against him had started. He thought it had been a mutual breakup, but had found he had only been an excuse to get back at an ex. He knew that was not the case with Desai, but that one experience had changed him. He wasn’t as free with those three little words anymore.

Tom watched the expression on the technician’s face, if anything were wrong, he’d be the second one to know. When she smiled and then pointed to a small image on the screen and said, “There’s your baby. Safe and sound and where it should be.”

It was a small black spot sort of an oblong round, and he had helped put it there. He was going to be a father. A father! He would one day be called papa, dad, daddy, pops, father, or simply da’.

_Oh, God! Am I ready?_

_Is anyone ever really ready?_

_She was pregnant with his child she would or could possibly go through hours of labor to give him a son or daughter._

_How would she be after?_

_How would that change her?_

_Would it change her?_

_How would it change him?_

_His work?_

_His travel?_

There were so many questions running through his head and for once he didn’t have a good or complete answer to any of them.

Desai smiled and looked at Thomas who was rubbing his face then he suddenly let go of her hand and grabbed the trashcan and began to heave. Nervousness had caught up with Thomas William Hiddleston. “Thomas, are you alright?”

He nodded, then mumbled, “I’ll see you in your room.” He then left as if Lucifer himself were chasing him.

*******

Tom ran through the hospital as if he were being chased by demons and fairly dove into the backseat of the SUV. “Ron, I need for you to do me a huge favor, please,” he said breathlessly.

“What do you need, Tom? How is Desai?”

“She’s going to be in for a few days to get rehydrated. She just doesn’t think to take care of herself … always worried about everyone else.”

After Tom explained what he wanted, Ron nodded and set out to the very place he knew would have exactly what the man wanted.

*******

“I’d say that’s one scared man,” the technician drawled in her Southern accent. “He’s a handsome looking scoundrel, but scared,” the technician said with a smile at me.

“Can you tell how far along I am?”

“I can’t really divulge that even if I knew.” She shrugged, “Sorry.”

*******

Once back in Desai’s room, Tom began to pace. And think. He knew he loved her. He knew he wanted to marry her. Damn his mind was saying one thing and his heart another!

_Listen to your heart!_

_The last time I did that …_

_It’s too soon to get married!_

_You’ve been together a year!_

_She’s having your baby, you idiot!_

_People have babies every day and are not married._

_Not my babies!_

_Oh, to hell with this shit! I’m calling mum!_

Desai was wheeled in just in time to hear Thomas say, “Mum, it’s not like we met yesterday. I thought you would be excited to hear that I’m going to be a father!” He snorted, “Mum. She’s never once asked me for anything! She has always paid for everything. Which vexes me to no end. She’s a very independent woman – that’s one of the reasons I— reminds me a lot of you actually.” There was a pause. “We’ve been together a little over a year.” He paused a little longer this time. “Of course, I do, mum,” he said firmly and then gave a slight pause. “No. That’s not going to happen. NO!” He rubbed his face. “Mum, it’s my child. Mum, no,” he said the last very firmly. “She’s back. Okay, be nice.” He passed the phone to Desai.

“Hello, Diana,” Desai spoke quietly.

“Did you do this on purpose?!” Diana yelled angrily. “Because if you did, you dirty little _slag_ I will do everything in my power to ruin you!”

Desai was shocked, but she shouldn’t have been – she knew how Diana felt about her. “What?! No, ma’am, I’m on birth control!” She said as she burst into tears. _Damnit! These damn hormones!_ “I did not do this on purpose!”

“You’re lying! You’re doing this because you know once you’re married –”

“I am not, Diana! I did not get pregnant on purpose!” She was sobbing as she leaned over holding her stomach, as the nausea began to roil, “I wouldn’t do that and especially not to Thomas. I love him, Diana. There’s nothing I want from Thomas! I have all the comforts I need. I love him!”

“You dirty minge! You have no idea what love is! I don’t believe you! You’ve been using him just to get attention and to make him believe you’re the only woman he’ll ever need! You’re nothing but a whore! And that baby is nothing but a bastard!”

“I don’t care if you believe me or not! I love him! This is not how I wanted our relationship to progress. I would have liked to have been married first – but – I told you that day we went shopping how I felt, and I love him even more now and I love this tiny blip of a baby. Call me what you want but don’t you _dare_ call _our_ baby a bastard! I love Thomas!” Desai began to heave and vomit again, as she allowed the tears to flow. Diana was having none of it she was furious!

“Love?! You do not know the meaning of the word!” Tom could hear his mother as she continued to scream and he gently took the phone from Desai and heard his mother say, “Desai – I meant what I said. I’ll ruin you! He’s my only son I will not have him forced into a relationship just because some _slapper_ – wants to trap him with her dirty little bastard!” Diana screamed.

“She’s not that! My _child is no_ bastard!”

“She’s a whore!”

“Don’t call her that! Mum, I love you, but we are not children and she did _not_ do this on purpose, and she’s _not_ – you will apologize to her mum.”

“No, I will not!”

“ _Yes, you will_. If you ever want a relationship with me again, yes you will apologize! Whether you or anyone else likes it Desai is with me,” he said firmly as he ended the call.

“I won’t hurt him. I won’t shame him either. I’ll do what’s best for him,” she whispered to herself as the radiologist helped clean her up and into bed then pressed the call button. When the nurse answered she then immediately drew up the antiemetic the doctor had ordered.

The radiologist cautioned, “You shouldn’t get so upset. It’s not good for you or the baby.”

Desai smiled sadly, _he could tell his family and friends he loved them, why not me?_

_Had the wanton way I had acted caused Thomas to believe that I was no more than just a plaything?_

_The way he treated me._

_Talked to me._

_Told me no._

_His actions made me believe that he cared for me. And cared for me deeply._ She continued to sob uncontrollably as the dry heaves took over.

“Oh, darling, please don’t cry,” he pleaded gently. “It hurts me to see you cry.” And it did, her beautiful face contorted in pain hurt him to his core. This was not her fault.

“Thomas, I’ve made a mess of things. I’m so sorry. I didn’t do this on purpose! I didn’t know about the side effects. Had I known I would not have taken it. I love you, truly I do, but I won’t shame you or do anything to hurt your career in any way. I’ll leave we can keep in touch via Skype, Facetime, or Zoom. Your mom is furious at me. She called me a whore. Our baby a bastard.” Her body shook as she wept and took gasping breaths.

He moved as the nurse came in. “This will make you sleepy, Desai, but I think that’s what you need. If you keep vomiting your doctor has ordered a nasogastric feeding tube.” She sighed as she gently moved Desai’s arm so that she could inject the medication into the IV port. “Rest. You’ve been blessed. A child is a gift.” She turned to Tom, “Please do your best to keep her as calm as possible.”

He nodded to the nurse, “I will and I’m sorry she got so upset. My mum…”

“Shouldn’t be acting as if you’re a child, Mr. Hiddleston. If Desai should need anything, do not hesitate to use that call button.”

He nodded again and watched her leave and close the door, he then turned to Desai, propping his folded arms onto the bed. “Desai, you have got to calm down, darling. You are going to make yourself sick and you’re going to hyperventilate. And I heard mum, I also told her she owes you an apology.”

She went on as if she didn’t hear him. “You’re not ready for this. Not completely. I know you care for me and you know I love you. I’ll let you know how things are progressing, but I can’t – won’t do you or your career harm in any way. I’m sorry if this hurts you, but you know in your heart it’s for the best. I’ll go back to London or to Montana.” She blew her nose on the Kleenex he offered and again as he kept handing them to her.

 _Where were all these tears coming from?! Why can’t I stop crying?!_ She wondered as she continued pleading her case and added, “You are my best friend, Thomas. Your mom hates me. She. Hates. Me. I love you, Thomas. I’ve always been honest with you, but I need to go away. There’ll never be another for me. You’re my one and only.”

Thomas listened, then quietly let her finish, leaning in toward her so that his breath fanned her face, then he said calmly, “You are not going anywhere. You are _my one and only_. I want no other. Not now. Not ever. Please, forgive me my faults and answer me this; it’s a simple yes or no question, my darling, Desai. Will you marry me? To blazes of what anyone thinks! We are meant to be together!” He pulled the chair closer to the bed and sat down grabbing her hand then holding it tenderly, placing a kiss on her knuckles. “You will not go to London! Nor Montana! Not without me! You’re going to have my baby!” he spoke excitedly. He pointed his finger at her abdomen and said, “Listen, little man or girl, this is your father and you are making your mum quite sick. You need to stop, and I mean this instant.”

“Shh, don’t piss the little gal off.”

He gave a sideways look at Desai, “There’s no way you can know it’s a girl.”

She grinned, “No, but all embryos start out as female and so that makes me right, Mister.”

He threw his hands up in surrender, wearing a huge grin, “If you say so, love. I’m certainly not going to argue with the most beautiful woman in the entire universe who happens to be pregnant with my child.”

“Ask me again. I want to make sure I heard you correctly.” She searched his eyes for the truth. She needed to know that he meant it and in doing so she would also know that he loved her whether he said those exact words or not.

“Will you marry me, my one and only, Desai Olivia Alexander?” he smiled as he caressed her face.

That's when she knew. “I will. When and where?” She laughed at his expression. “We could just do a Justice of the Peace in a judge’s chambers. It would be a quiet thing, and no one would know.”

“You deserve better than that,” he said seriously. “We can have a small private ceremony at the house. Allow me to arrange it. You’re under enough stress right now.”

“Thomas, I want your family here.” She shook her head. “Your mom hates me. She thinks – believes that I’ve forced you into something that you –”

“I want this, Desai. I _know_ this was not done on purpose. And I am at just as much fault as you.” He grinned. “I was there too you know. And as for my family, I know that Da’, Sarah and Emma will be happy for me. For us.”

“Thomas, I have the means for travel. It’s private and would raise less suspicion.”

He shook his head, “My love you don’t seem to understand… I don’t _care_ who knows, Desai and you have spent enough of your money on me. I want the world to know who the woman is I’m going to marry.”

“I’ve got to find a dress,” she murmured just as a wave of nausea hit her so hard that she doubled over.

“Oh, sweetheart. I feel responsible for this,” Thomas said with so much tenderness that it caused them both to tear up.

“Not your fault, love,” she said as she began to heave again. “It’s all to do with my body chemistry,” she said as the nausea passed, and she lay on her right-side facing Thomas. “I already know this will happen with every child I give you.”

Thomas shook his head, rubbed the back of his neck then his face, and ran his fingers through his already disheveled hair as he whispered, “Oh, dear, Lord.”

About an hour later the largest box of Godiva chocolates, Desai had ever seen along with a beautiful spray of Fire and Ice Roses were delivered. Tom smiled broadly at Desai, “Happy Valentine’s Day, my love.” He dangled something small and yellow in front of her. Once her eyes focused she saw it was a onesie that stated, _‘I’m the favorite’_ and a pair of yellow booties to go with it.

She smiled and then cried, “Oh, Thomas. Are you truly happy about this?”

“Yes, my love I am.”

*******

Thomas called his father a couple of days later after Desai was released from the hospital intending on asking for something he never thought he would. “Hello, Da’, how are you?” he said jovially.

“That all depends,” James answered softly.

“On what, da’?”

“When are you getting married?” he laughed. “Your mother called me all in an uproar saying Desai was pregnant and that she’d trapped you. The two of you have been together for over a year now. I adore the girl and knowing her she’s probably feeling that she _has_ trapped you. I only have one question for you, son.”

“Yes, da’?”

“Do you love her?”

“More than anything, more than life itself.” Thomas paused then asked, “May I have great-grandmother’s ring?”

“If I had it, yes, son. Diana has it, she was going to give it to you a few years back when she thought you and ... Do you want me to see if I can get it back?”

“Please, but I doubt she will, but thanks Da’, Desai loves you and so do I, bye for now,” he said as he hung up and called Luke. “Luke, I wanted you to know I’m getting married.” The line was silent for so long he thought he had gotten disconnected. “Luke?”

“You’re what?” Luke asked in disbelief.

“I’m getting married to Desai.”

“Do you have any idea what that’s going to do? Your career. Your prospects. Your fans.” Luke asked seriously, “Why now? You’ve been together for a year – I mean why now all of a sudden. She’s pregnant, isn’t she? She got pregnant on purpose just so you would ask her, didn’t she?”

Tom ignored the last question and retorted, “Why? I love her, that’s why! And that’s all you or anyone else needs to know! I didn’t realize that I needed anyone’s fucking permission! I’ll talk to you later when everything is set.” Tom hung up and shook his head. _Why was no one happy for him? For them?_ He didn’t understand it. His mum was beyond furious, blaming it all on Desai and doubted that she and Desai would ever be friends again and he couldn’t blame Desai. He wished he’d never called his mum and told her about the pregnancy.

He knew that his mum would not give that ring back to his father, because she knew how his dad felt about Desai. And she wouldn’t hand it over to him either.

He went to several jewelry shops and then finally found a ring that very nearly matched his great-grandmother’s. He bought it on the spot. Vintage look with a large emerald cut diamond center stone and filigree, he knew she would love it.

He placed the small box in his pocket and then made reservations at one of his and Desai’s favorite restaurants. Things may have gotten a bit ahead of what it ought to be, but he was going to make it right and do it right for Desai. He loved her, he wouldn’t have asked her to marry him otherwise.

“Hey, handsome. Where you been?” Desai asked as she took the two cookie sheets from the oven. The expression he wore told her something was not right in his world. He had been crying and that was not good. “Thomas? What’s wrong, babe?” He opened his mouth, closed it, and then shook his head. Desai spoke first, “Please, don’t lie to me or try to save me from getting my feelings hurt. I can see that something is wrong. Just tell me, I’m a big girl I can take it.”

He smiled at her, she was really too perceptive when it came to his feelings. He puffed air out of his mouth. “I called dad.”

“Is he okay?” she asked cautiously.

“Yeah, he’s fine.” Same ol’ da’.”

“What else, Thomas?”

“He doesn’t have great-grandmother’s ring. Mum has it and she will never give it back to him or to me.”

“Ah. I see.” And she did, Diana had called and told him she was pregnant and that’s why he couldn’t give the ring to Thomas. She wasn’t, in Diana’s opinion, good enough for her son. “I’m sorry, Thomas. I’m sorry you got hurt because of me.” To her credit she didn’t cry, she refused to cry anymore, she had been crying almost all day and she wasn’t sure if there were any tears left. She loved Thomas with all her heart but it was broken because of how his mother was treating him. _How could his mother do this to him?_

Tom looked at her, she was blaming herself, _just as you did_ _at first_ , he thought. How can I possibly tell her that Luke was against them too? It seemed everyone was. “Desai, please don’t worry about it. Things will work out. Besides, it’s not them that’s getting married it’s us.”

“But they’re not happy about it, they think I’m trapping you. Do they not realize that’s the furthest thing from my mind?” She perched on his lap. _His mother didn’t believe the baby was his._ “Let’s just go to the judge and get married. No one need know. And maybe they’ll come to accept things when the baby comes.”

“I disagree with that. I want you – _I want_ us to have a _real_ wedding. _I want_ to see you in a wedding dress walking down the aisle to me. _I want_ to see my one and only as resplendent as a goddess.” He touched the side of her face. “You deserve no less, Desai. And I will give you no less than what you deserve.”

She hugged him, most men would have agreed with her and said okay let’s go to the judge, but not her Thomas. She sighed as she said, “Luke, doesn’t like it, he wants us to have a secret ceremony.” The look he gave her then – _Uh-oh, he’s mad._

“Luke called you.” It was a statement, not a question.

She swallowed hard but being honest with each other was what had gotten them through some difficult times. “Yes, he did, we talked for about five minutes. He feels as if a marriage will ruin – that _I’m_ ruining your career.” She shrugged. “I made an excuse so that I could hang up.” She sighed. “I might as well tell you – your, dad called me too.”

“What did he say?”

“He’s over the moon about being a grandfather! He was almost in tears about the ring and I told him not to worry about it, that I didn’t need a ring. I told him that he helped raise a fine son that has grown into a good man, an honorable man who is going to be a great father.” She kissed his forehead and smiled. “How are your fans going to take this?” she asked as she looked back at him. “Maybe we should test the waters.”

“We have been. Desai, we’ve been together for a little over a year now. My fans have accepted it – finally – and you, they love you, and you’ve seen the well wishes. I think they’ll be fine with it and even if they are not, then so be it. I love my fans, you know that, but …” _I love you more._ “They’ll just have to accept it.” He sighed heavily. “And so, will everyone else. Even if they don’t … I don’t care. You are my life, Desai. My one and only.” He kissed her softly and nuzzled her neck. “You want to go out tonight?” he asked quietly.

“Sure. Where’re we going?”

“Just wear something nice and could you find a tie that –”

“Matches? Sure, babe.”

When we pulled up in front of _Aria_ she smiled broadly at Thomas. “When did you make reservations?”

“I’m not telling,” he said with a grin. Her smile was enough to lift all his worries from his shoulders. She truly was his life and breath. His one and only.

Dinner was fabulous as always, and she noticed that there were quite a few discrete and not so discrete pictures being taken of the two of them. As they sat waiting on desert Thomas became fidgety, almost like a child who needed the bathroom. “What’s the matter?” she asked. “Are you alright?”

He reached across the table and lightly grasped her hand, “I know I asked you already to marry me, but I really wanted you to have great-grandmother’s ring. So, I found one of my own choosing. My darling, Desai,” he said as released her hand then dropped to one knee. She looked around and every eye was on them. “Will you marry me? Will you make me the happiest man in the universe?”

When he opened that small box and she saw that ring, she nearly fainted. She looked at him then the ring then him, “Yes! Yes!” she screamed.

The place exploded with cheers and as Desai rose to her feet to hug him he placed the ring on her finger, then the flashes started. “Well, in less than a minute everyone will know we’re engaged.”

“I don’t care,” he caressed her face and kissed her. “I’m marrying the most beautiful woman in the entire universe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still in love with my characters. This was weary to write in some ways.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas finally says those three little words!

The doctor determined that Desai was only five weeks along and the embryo was planted just where it should be. She was still having severe nausea and vomiting, but with the IV ports and the home healthcare nurse who made sure she received enough fluids and medication to counteract the vomiting, she was feeling better.

There were days, like today, when the nausea was tolerable and she even took a walk, with her nurse, Judi Roaman, in tow, to the stables. “Do you think it would be okay if I ride?”

“I don’t see why not. Your baby is right where it should be and since there’s only one … I don’t see a problem. You don’t plan on going full-on running or jumping do you?”

Desai shook her head.

Judi watched as a huge beautiful red horse approached Desai, she smiled as Desai hugged its neck and murmured, “Hey, Loki. I’ve missed you. Wanna go for a ride?”

The horse nodded, then wrapped a front leg around Desai as she continued to hug its neck. “I’ve never seen anything like that,” Judi said in awe.

“He’s just a huge cuddle bug,” she said as she patted his neck. “You know if you want to go for a ride you have to let me go, darlin’.”

Desai had one of the stable workers to saddle Loki Red, once the other horses saw that he was going for a ride they all wanted to join. That was how Tom saw her when he arrived home from work riding that huge magnificent horse with the rest of the horses following or surrounding them. And Desai wearing his old blue jumper and her jeans. She wouldn’t be wearing those for very much longer. A baby! His child! He would never be able to express how that made him feel.

“Hey! What the bloody hell are you doing?!” he called as she turned toward his voice.

“Riding!” She turned Loki toward Thomas as she trotted over. “Earendel! I love you. How was your day? You feel like riding with me?”

“Are you sure you should be riding at all?” he asked with concern.

“Judi said it would be fine as long as I didn’t go full out or do any jumping,” she said as she placed a hand over her abdomen. “The baby’s fine, Thomas.”

“My day was good,” he said as he stuck a shoe in the vacant stirrup with his hand on the horn he leaned in and kissed her before he mounted behind her. He was fascinated by how she glowed. As sick as she had been she had not once complained. “How about your day?” he asked as he hugged her watching as she slung her right leg over the horn and pommel then scooted up and to her right on the seat rise.

“My day has been good and so far it’s just getting better. I have to tell you something, Thomas.”

“What’s that?” he asked with a smile.

“It’s a new feeling, must be because of the pregnancy hormones.”

He quirked a brow at her.

“I’m horny. This motion – it ahh – well …”

“Then let’s go do something about it. Are you sure, love? You really feel like making love?”

“Yes, I’m sure. I’m so wet, just from seeing you and hearing you.”

He turned the horse back toward the house dismounted and helped her down. Hand-in-hand they walked through the small gate as Loki and the rest of the horses went back to the stables. Judi figured out that Desai and Tom needed some alone time. She smiled she knew firsthand about pregnancy hormones.

“I’ve missed this,” he murmured into her hair as he pulled her closer then began to deftly remove her clothes. Cupping her face in his hands he gave her a deep kiss, when she moaned he moved his tongue into her mouth and stroked her tongue gently with his.

Desai grinned at him, “Why are you home early?”

Tom pushed up his jumper from her stomach and laid his hand over her abdomen before responding. “Mmm, love, I just couldn’t wait to get home to you and our baby.” In reality, there had been problems with the equipment.

Moving his head down he nuzzled her stomach and placed little kisses all over her abdomen. “And how is our precious little one?”

Desai was becoming emotional hearing Thomas talk that way about the baby, she answered him shakily, “The baby is fine, Thomas. Developing normally.” She weaved her fingers through his hair. “Will you be able to join me for the next ultrasound?”

“You bet I will, darling.”

“Good.” She chuckled and made a happy sound because he would be joining her again.

He continued undressing until they were both naked giving her light touches, and deep kisses as he backed her up against the bed then lifted her into his arms and placed her in the center. “I’ve missed this. Us.” He nuzzled his way down and across her neck, whispering, “I need you, Desai. I need to taste you, touch you, and make love to you.” He licked her collar bone, “I need to bury myself so deep inside you I’ll always be under your skin. In your blood. In your thoughts, my love.”

“I’m here, bury yourself. And I think you already are. I’ll never not want you.”

He captured her lips again, “Oh, darling, my love,” he murmured as he trailed kisses down her body, flicking first one nipple then the other, smiling as she moaned in pleasure. “My one and only. The only woman I want or need,” he whispered the last as he came to the junction of her thighs. He flicked his tongue out just as he inhaled, “No one else has ever made me want them like you do.” He gave her slick folds a light lick and smiled as she raised her hips for more.

She was dripping already, she had told him that her sex-drive had increased because of all the hormones running through her blood now.

He moved back up to her breasts and started to lick and suck, when she started to moan he moved his mouth over to suck on her left nipple. He had a thigh up against her pussy and could feel that she was gushing just from his attention to her breasts. He reached up to give another deep kiss as he moved one hand down to prepare her for his cock. Thrusting two fingers into her entrance he felt that she was already soaking wet and ready for him.

“Please baby,” she moaned as her body began to shake as a climax rushed through her. Her mouth was moving but only incoherent words and sounds were heard.

Lifting her hips, he placed his cock at her entrance and slowly pushed into her soaking wet and hot cunt. Groaning as she clenched around him, he leaned down to kiss her deeply. Already so aroused he knew he would be cumming soon. She was still climaxing!

“Oh, Desai, I’m going to rub your hard little clit, and then when I tell you I want to feel your tight little pussy clenching up on me.”

Whining Desai nodded quickly. “Mmmm, Thomas please I’m not sure how long I can – I want to be a good girl for you, but I can’t – ohhhh, fuck! Thomas.” Smiling down at Desai, he gave her deep hard thrusts and started to rub her clit hard and fast.

Tom could feel her clenching hard, rubbing harder his thrusts were starting to get sloppy. “Cum for me again darling. Cum again now, Desai.”

Moaning, “Thomas,” loudly, Desai exploded around him at the same time she clenched down on his cock, her inner muscles milking him. Still thrusting Tom pressed his forehead against hers as he started to cum hard. “Darling! I’m cumming!” He kept cumming for a long time.

_That gave a whole new meaning to busting a nut. Good, God how much did I cum?! I didn’t think I was ever going to stop!_

When he was finished he carefully rolled over and lifted Desai, so she was laying on his stomach, he made sure he was still buried deeply inside her. “I am very happy my darlingest girl.”

Snuggling down against his chest Desai smiled, “I’m so happy my love. I love you.”

“Oh, my one and only.” He hugged her as they continued to touch one another as they relaxed and soon fell asleep and when Tom woke up he was still buried deep inside her.

As soon as Desai’s eyes opened she jerked away from the kiss Thomas had intended – as she bounded for the bathroom. He called Judi and told her and that she had made it to the bathroom but she would probably need her IV fluids. He picked up all their clothes and headed for the dressing room that was inside the very large walk-in closet. He needed a shower but he would just slip on some pajamas and a tee shirt for now as he thought that he and Desai might get a shower later – together.

Judi smiled as she set up the pump that delivered the fluids to Desai. “I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”

“I would rather it be this than losing the baby.” She lay her hand over her abdomen. “This one is a fighter. I know I’m not far enough along to know what it is, but something tells me it’s a boy.”

Ginger ale and saltine crackers were the only thing that seemed to settle her stomach, on her good days anyway, she was scheduled to see the doctor again in a month, and at that time they would be able to hear their baby’s heartbeat. Thomas and Desai were so excited.

Thomas’s sisters were coming to the wedding and had agreed to be Desai’s bridesmaids as had Dana, Desai’s best friend, and she was hoping Elsa. Thomas was over the moon about that and asked her if he could be the one to take them shopping for the dresses. She was surprised but understood the reasoning behind it; he loved them with all his heart and wanted to share this special time with them. “Darling, what color dresses should we be looking for?”

“Umm, nothing too bright, in fact, I believe a darker shade of ivory would go well with what I have in mind. Thomas, they should also be something they can wear again.”

He grinned at her, “So what color is your dress?”

“Oh, no, you are not going to get that information out of me. But the truth is love I haven’t been able to find one I like. They’re either too frou-frou or white. Having been married before I shouldn’t wear white.”

“So, should I wear ivory as well?”

She chewed her bottom lip, which Tom found adorable. “Well, I may not be in ivory. Let me show you the dress I really like. However, what you mentioned – Ya, know that’s something I need to check out.” She motioned for him to sit as she opened her laptop. “According to this article, it says the groom and the bride should match.” She looked at him. “I know you wanted white tie and tails, could you go ivory?” When she saw his expression she added, “Let me get the dress first, and then I’ll let you know. Personally, I want you in white tie and tails, with the gloves.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to clash with you.”

“Darling, you won’t. I promise.” _At least I hope not._

The next day Desai shopped in earnest for a dress that she could fall in love with… with no luck. She didn’t like the styles or the color of ivory, although she had found some bridesmaid's dresses that she adored. She took pics and sent them to Thomas and didn’t expect to hear back from him until he took lunch. They were very busy. She also sent a text reminding him about the cake testing set for that evening at the house. He would definitely show up on time for that!

After deciding on three different flavors for each layer, fresh strawberry, blackberry, and lemon, they sat and spoke about the guest list.

He had not yet been able to convince his mother to come. His dad was a different person altogether. She cried every day while he was at work. She didn’t dare do so in front of him, but in truth, she was devastated about his mother.

She called James and spoke with him and talked to him about Thomas. “I love you, James. I look forward to seeing you.”

“How’s my daughter and grandchild?”

“We’re fine, well the baby is… I have my good days and bad days with the nausea.”

“Are you getting enough rest? Are you able to eat anything?”

She smiled because he sounded just like a father. “I’m getting plenty of rest, Thomas makes sure of that. And as far as eating … well it all depends on the baby.”

“I love you, girl. Take care of yourself and that baby. I’ll see you soon.”

“Thank you, so much James.” She choked up and began to cry. “I wish Diana …”

“Oh, daughter, please don’t cry. It hurts me to hear you. Things will work out. Please believe that.”

She sniffed and said, “Okay, I believe you. I love you, too. Bye.”

Once she was able to clearly speak again she dialed Diana’s number as expected she got no answer, but she did leave a voicemail. “Please, don’t do this to your son. I don’t care about how you treat me, Diana, but please don’t do this to Thomas,” was all she said.

Desai’s best friend Dana Pharr was strolling through Dublin, Georgia a few days later and came upon _Two Dames Bridal & More_ she suddenly stopped staring opened mouthed.

“What are you looking at?” Desai asked as she gazed at the dress in the window. Her eyes followed her friend’s.

“Isn’t that the most beautiful dress?” Dana looked at her, “Desai, that dress would look beautiful on you.”

“It’s beautiful, Dana, it looks like a Victorian ball dress and not a traditional wedding gown. Which I love. Especially since I’ve been married before. And blue is one of Thomas’s favorite colors.” It was made of what appeared to be ombre baby blue silk, with iridescent beading of various blues and golds around the off-the-shoulder and low-cut back down to tips as it met the hem and around the edging on the bottom of the skirt.

Half an hour later Desai stood looking at herself astonished. She was transformed. She looked like a princess. “Do you have shoes to match but not too high-heeled?” She asked. “Size 7, please. And do you have gloves to match? Opera length?”

Dana asked, “What about a veil and tiara?”

*******

Desai waited to make sure it was a good time and then called Elsa in Australia and told her Tom and she was getting married. She wasn’t sure but she was pretty sure she heard Chris’s voice – and not on her phone, shout, “Yes! There is a God!”

She asked Elsa to be her Matron of Honor and she was delighted as she answered a yes. She also asked her to please get Chris in as soon as she could for a fitting. Desai paused as she told her it would be white tie, tails, and white gloves, she giggled as she said, “He’s going to look like a big _Barbie_ doll.”

“Elsa, tell Chris to act surprised when Tom calls him.”

“I will. I’m so happy for the two of you.”

“Thanks,” Desai sniffed.

“What’s wrong?” Elsa asked softly.

“His mom doesn’t agree. I’m pregnant Elsa. She thinks I did it on purpose to trap him. I didn’t I swear.” Then she just let it all out everything from the very start and when she was finished she felt as if a mountain had been lifted off her.

“Things have a way of working out,” she murmured.

“I know, I just hope it’s sooner rather than later. I’ll let you go I know you’re busy. Give that huge hunk a hug for me and have him give you a kiss for me. Bye for now.”

A couple of days later she asked Thomas, “So who is going to be your best man?”

“Oh, shit! I’ve got to call Joey! And Chris!”

“What time is it in Australia?”

“It’s around five am.” He sighed, “I’ll wait until around nine pm here and then call.”

“What about Ben and Sophie?” She really wanted them at the wedding, and she knew he and Ben were friends.

He grinned at her, “I’ll call him now. Joey won’t be home for a while so I will call him later.” He sounded like Thomas Sharpe a character she adored and at that moment she realized that in every character Thomas played there was a bit of himself in them. She wondered how many others realized the same thing.

“I love you,” she whispered as she gave him a tender kiss. Bobby chose that moment to join in on the kiss and got them both.

After the giggles, Thomas caressed her face and susurrated, “My one and only,” as he held her close and called his friend. Bobby curled up on her abdomen as he had been doing since just after mid-January. Did he – had he somehow known before any of them that she was pregnant? Animals picked up on different scents and changes in people.

Bobby’s warmth and Thomas’s voice had her lulled to sleep in minutes. She had one hand under her neck and the other draped over his legs.

Tom shifted so that her head was resting on his thigh as his conversation continued with Ben until his battery died.

Knowing Desai wouldn’t mind he borrowed her phone and called his ‘brother from another mother’ and talked until well past time for him to have been asleep. He knew he would pay for it in the morning, but he felt as if a huge weight had been taken from him. Chris understood him, they understood each other, and it was a plus that Elsa and Chris adored Desai. Chris said he would inform Liam and Luke, and knew they would accept the position of groomsmen.

He then called his best friend, Joey, and told him and asked him to be his best man. Joey had replied, “I’ll be there with bells on!”

Tom gazed at Desai’s sleeping form and the way Bobby protectively covered her abdomen. Somehow that furry little creature had known before any signs had shown up. He was so happy he could burst, and tears flowed freely down his face. He loved this woman with all his heart, and he had to find the courage to tell her. He knew she would never hurt him as others had although he had taken the blame so many times in his other relationships he had always said it was mutual when in reality it was he that had gotten hurt. There had been only one that he had felt he could have truly – that was in the past and better left there. She had been cruel and accused him of using her for gaining popularity. All the while …

_Leave it alone! She broke your heart and it’s been healed by the wonderful woman lying next to you. She takes you as you are with all your imperfections and calls you hers. She loves you with every fiber of her being._

“I know,” he whispered as he closed his eyes and fell asleep.

The sounds from the kitchen woke them up. Desai murmured, “Thomas, did you not have to work today?”

His eyes flew open and he groaned, “I was supposed to be there at five.” He glanced at his watch. “I’ll just give them a call and – I can’t both phones are dead.” He sighed as he ran irritated fingers through his hair. “I’ll just go on over to the studio and hope I don’t get chewed out. I probably cost the company a lot of money by not showing up.”

“Maybe not,” she said as she slowly raised up and Bobby reluctantly moved. “Get Ron to take you. Grab something to eat before you head out.”

When he returned home that evening he looked defeated. Desai had been very nauseous and had several bouts of vomiting which caused her to be on IV fluids all day. She wondered what had been said but she wasn’t one to pry into what happened while he was at work. He would talk to her when he got ready.

Desai ran into his arms and kissed him. “Hungry?”

“No, just tired. I need a shower, love.”

His tone told her that he didn’t want to talk at least not right now, but she knew he would. “I love you,” she whispered.

He hugged her tighter, kissed her forehead, and headed for their bedroom.

When he didn’t come back after a couple of hours she went to check on him. He was lying halfway on the bed with his feet on the floor wearing only his boxers… sound asleep. She was afraid his back would hurt if he didn’t move so she tried to wake him up. “Thomas? Thomas?”

“What?!” he said angrily never moving, he was fast asleep.

“Sweetheart, your back is going to hurt with you laying like that.”

“Goddamnit! Can I not fucking do what I want?! Is my life not my own?! I’m sick and tired of _all_ this shit. I can’t do this… can’t do that. You have to do the right thing all the fucking time!” His facial expression was one of pain and anger.

“Well, you’re going to have a backache, love,” she said tenderly as she stood in shock at his rage. She knew it wasn’t aimed at her although it did hurt, she did manage to get him turned and one of his legs on the bed. _What the hell had happened at the studio?_

So, without saying anything else Desai walked out and gently closed the door. She would sleep on the couch tonight. The tears began almost immediately as she sat down.

_What else is going to happen to my wonderful man? Someone had done something – or something had happened at work. Otherwise, he would have never spoken to me that way._

The alarm sounded and Tom groaned, then cussed, when his back caught in a spasm. “Fuck!” he muttered as he eased himself off the bed. He barely remembered his furious outburst, _who had he yelled at? Had he been dreaming?_ He reached over expecting Desai to be in the bed. When he found it empty and cold he checked the bathroom. _Not there either._ He exited the bedroom in a run and found her asleep on the couch with Bobby, her face tear-stained. _Did I cause that? Had I been so angry at everyone and what they were taunting me with that I had taken it out on her?_

_She had been right, and the tabloids had had a field day. Guessing that she was pregnant, and the crew, some of them anyway, joined in on that particular chorus. Of course, there had been teasing and jokes about the ‘old ball and chain’ and those he had taken in stride, but when the director had told him that he should never allow a relationship to interfere with his work he had almost exploded in the man’s face. He had tried to explain his relationship was not the reason behind his being late – the man had refused to listen and told him to get his ass to work that he had cost the company enough money already._

And, although he didn’t remember it, he had taken all that out on the woman he loved more than life itself. She had spent the night alone with a dog for comfort while he slept soundly in an emperor sized bed.

He knelt in front of the couch and brushed her hair out of her face. She took a shaky breath and slowly opened her eyes, “I’m sorry I bothered you, my love.” She smiled, “Are you okay?”

“Oh, Desai.” He pulled her to his chest. “I’m fine. I’m the one that’s sorry, darling.”

She felt his tears as they fell onto her cheek. “Shhh, shhh, it’s okay. I understand. Really I do. Do you have an early call?”

He nodded.

“I’ll cook you breakfast. How hungry are you?”

“Hungry,” he murmured against her ear.

“Go get dressed and I’ll get started.”

He nodded but didn’t let her go. “Desai,” he began as he looked into her eyes, “I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve a wonderful woman like you, but I want you to know – that explosion of anger will _never_ happen again.” He kissed her then so soft, gentle as if her lips could sustain him and that’s all he ever wanted.

“Ummm, I love your lips, my love, but Thomas, you can’t help what you dream, earendel,” she whispered as she smiled.

She knew that they would argue and that they would yell at each other and makeup it happened in relationships. It was just the way it was. “Thomas, go get dressed so I can get breakfast started. I love you. I understand. Really I do.”

*******

Surprisingly, it wasn’t Thomas who eventually got his mother to speak with them; his father had told Diana in no uncertain terms that she had better get off her high horse and apologize. James had called Desai, and she in turn had set up the flight and other transportation that was needed to get all of Tom’s family to the states. On the same day.

Their arrival was part of her wedding surprise for Thomas. She only hoped he wouldn’t be upset with her afterward for not letting him know. She understood how important family was she no longer had any and she wanted – needed his family to understand he loved them and needed them in his life.

Things were tense at first but after about an hour things began to smooth out as Thomas explained a few things. He expected apologies to be forthcoming for Desai. And they were.

James took Desai in his arms, “I love you, child and the child you carry. I mean that Desai. Truly I do.”

“Thank you, James.”

“I would like for you to call me da’ if you can.”

She burst into tears, “Yes, da’ and I love you.”

She held out zero hope that things between herself and Diana would be like it was, Desai knew that things would never be the same. Diana was bitter but civil, but Desai forgave her.

As they sat and talked it was clear that Diana was doing her best not to be upset with her son and soon-to-be daughter-in-law.

Diana spoke rather stiffly, “I’m sorry I said those things to you – about you – I just. It’s harder for me to lose him than I thought it would be.” She sighed, “It just seems that the two of you just met and now there’s going to be a babe and …”

“Diana, you haven’t lost him. He’s still the same man. He loves you he never stopped loving you. I told Thomas that had I known the supplement would have –” Desai was cut off as she sat holding onto the IV pump feeling another wave of nausea starting.

“That’s not the problem,” Diana admitted loudly.

“Then what is?” Desai asked as she tried to understand her future mother-in-law.

“He’s my baby boy. My only son.”

Parents sometimes see their children as just that – children. She saw Thomas as a little boy who was tenderhearted and easily hurt. She viewed Desai as a gold digger pure and simple.

“Well, your baby boy is going to be a father. I’m sorry you believe that I’m trapping him. I’m not I was willing to leave my home here and go to London on my own and deal with the pregnancy by myself. I blamed myself and I still do. I love Thomas, but to tell you the truth,” she sighed, “I’m not sure if not for the baby we would be getting married.”

“That’s not true!” Tom gave Desai a sideways glance. “I was planning on asking you in September on your birthday.” He grinned at her surprised look. “True story.”

Diana could see how much her son loved Desai, but she couldn’t accept it. She wanted him to be happy but not with – someone who – who had been married … and was now pregnant. True she hadn’t kept it secret but that meant … she’d been honest with Tom. She had told him right away and had offered to leave so that his career wouldn’t be harmed. It was Tom who had put a stop to that. She sighed, she’d have to learn to live with the fact that how she wanted things done – no how she wanted Tom to do things was past. He was his own man – whether she liked it or not.

His sisters were over the moon about it and were as excited as Thomas. Desai was surprised at how happy he was and the things he did for her and the baby. He talked to the baby every day. Saying things like: _‘I love you, baby.’ ‘Don’t make mummy sick today.’ ‘I can’t wait to meet you.’_

*******

Desai, breathed in and smelled bacon, and for once she was not nauseated, her stomach rumbled. “Oh, so you’re gonna let me eat today?” she asked her still flat abdomen. She padded downstairs and stood for a while just watching Thomas as he gazed out the kitchen window with a goofy smile on his face. “Thomas, are you actually cooking or just daydreaming as you stare into space?”  


Tom snapped his head around so fast that she was sure he would get whiplash as he came out of his daze and turned toward her voice.

She stood opposite the kitchen island dressed only in her panties and the white dress shirt he had worn last night, with just the two buttons between her breasts in use. “Jesus, Desai,” he whispered. “It should not even be legal that you look that damn good.”

“Umm, you like?” she asked with a sly smile, sauntering toward him, and leaning against the counter. “What ya making?”

“Hmm…I umm…bacon and eggs?”

Desai laughed. “That sounded like more of a question.”

“I think it was. I was going to surprise you with breakfast in bed,” Tom sighed, gulping down the lump forming in his throat. He couldn’t take his eyes off her. The nape of her neck, the way his shirt hung on her breasts, her still flat stomach peeking out from between the unbuttoned shirt panels, her long, tanned, and toned legs, extending from those damned white silk panties, he coughed, “You need to go into a different room, love. I can’t function or think with you looking like that.”

“I’m not sure Thomas, but I think your breakfast is now trashed…so to speak,” Desai declared, pointing to the now smoking pan.

“Dammit!” Tom screamed, grabbing the pan’s handle, which was hot, and immediately burned his hand. “Fuck!” he shouted as he dropped the pan into the sink. “Goddammit!”

“Oh, Thomas! Here, let me.” She grabbed his wrist placing his hand palm side up under the cold running water and with her other hand grabbed a kitchen towel from the counter and quickly ran it under the faucet before wrapping it around his reddened hand. “Are you okay?” she asked as she kept the towel wrapped around his hand under the cold running water.

“Aside from the blazing pain, yes,” Tom said with a chuckle. “You, my darling, are dangerous to have in the kitchen.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” she apologized, while both hands still softly held the towel in place. “Let me go get the first aid kit, there’s some Silvadene ointment in it. Or better yet I can put some aloe vera on it.”

He gazed at her so tenderly as he said, “Always taking care of someone else, always the nurse,” he touched her face with a reverence that caused her pause. “You’re going to be such a great mum to our child.”

“What is it, Thomas?” she asked as she searched his eyes.

He traced her delicate jawline. _God, I love you!_ “I’ve had worse, darling.”

She chuckled, “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“It’s alright, my sweet. It’s not your fault you distract me so,” Tom shifted, his eyes to roam her body. “In fact, I’m already starting to feel better.”

“Stop it.” She laughed as she gazed up into his eyes, then murmured, “Thomas, you’re insatiable.”

“If you weren’t the most gorgeous woman in the entire universe it might be a bit easier to control myself,” Tom responded, his voice transforming into a low growl. “You glow, radiate light, darling. Our baby,” he said as he placed a hand over her still flat abdomen, “has made you even more beautiful. I only wish the little one had not made you so very sick,” he said lowly as he leaned down and captured her lips and began walking her backward.

“Thomas, what are you doing?” she laughed between the playful kisses as he began walking her backward toward the counter.

“Making myself feel better,” he said as Desai bumped into the countertop behind her with a small oomph.

He put his hands on her waist and lifted her to sit on the cold countertop. Without giving her a second to question he forced his lips upon hers again their tongues engaging in a passionate skirmish to which neither would concede defeat, but both would claim victory.

Desai gasped as he pulled his lips from hers, moving to the nape of her neck, his hands roaming under the shirt, up the length of her torso until his skilled fingers found the two closed buttons. His hands then grasped the fabric tightly, practically yanking it from her body and tossing it carelessly to the floor below. “Oh! My God, Thomas…”

“Just Thomas is fine,” he grinned devilishly. “Scoot forward.”

“Thomas.”

“Do as I say,” he commanded.

Desai knew that tone, and although it was fun at times, she didn’t feel like a spanking this morning, so she obeyed, sliding her hips forward. He instantly grabbed her panties, looping his fingers around the sides, and tearing them from her body, exposing her.

His hands then moved to his own, sliding off his boxers and jeans, in one swift motion and kicking them to the floor. Without a second of hesitation, he threw an arm around her waist, pulled her closer, and onto his hardened member.

Desai gasped as he entered her completely, his hips driving in and out. “Thomas,” she moaned.

“I want you to scream for me, my sweet pet,” he said through a low, tense breath. “I want to feel you cum around me.” His lips crashed into hers once more as he continued the task at hand. He could feel her walls beginning to clench around him, a full-blown orgasm already beginning.

Pulling his lips from hers, he placed them by her ear, whispering. “You drive me utterly crazy. I want you every day, every night. You are mine.”

“I’m yours,” Desai whimpered, as her nails dragged across the skin on his back. “I’m all yours, Thomas.”

“Then scream for me, my pet. I want the entire state of Georgia to hear you.” He quickly pulled her from the counter, forcing her gently around and over, arms braced on the counter as he took her smoothly from behind. “God, Desai, you are exquisite from every angle, every inch of you.” He smiled as her climax made her shake as he drove into her through it and another.

She couldn’t form a word, let alone a sentence as his thick, hard member slid in and out of her slick opening, pushing her closer and closer to another climax. She stood up, reaching her arms back, pulling his head to her neck, he knew what she liked as his lips began to shower her neck, shoulders and jaw with open mouth kisses and love bites. She felt her knees go weak as his expert fingers found their way to her swollen clit, rubbing the smallest of circles, attempting to push her over the edge again. “Thomas …Thomas. You always know what I need.” Stars began popping behind her eyelids as she whimpered his name over and over.

“Cum, my darling. Cum, Desai, let yourself go,” he said softly before his lips met her earlobe.

As if on command, she felt the urgency of the orgasm fill every atom of her body. Letting go of his neck she leaned forward, arms on the counter, bracing herself as tremor after tremor coursed through her body. “Oh God, Thomas!” she screamed with all her might, then whimpered as Thomas thrust inside her all through her multiple orgasms finally joining her in release. She thanked God that Thomas’s family was out shopping, but they probably heard her anyway. Hell, people probably heard her in Savannah and Key West!

“My God,” he growled, as he remained hunched over her, his spent cock still inside her, his chest relaxing ever so gently and perfectly against her back. He planted a trail of kisses on every inch of skin his lips could reach, resting a moment before he stepped back, turning her around, and immediately throwing his lips onto hers. It was another few moments before he pulled back, resting his forehead against hers.

“Desai, you mean the world to me, I cannot imagine life without you. Dear, God, help me,” he cried as if in pain.

“Thomas, what is it, my love? Are you in pain?” Desai asked as she tried to look into his eyes.

He captured her face in his hands, “I have to tell you. I have to say it, or I fear I might die right here on this spot,” he said with bated breath as he searched her eyes. “I know you love me,” he paused then took a deep breath before he murmured, “Every time I look at you, I feel on the verge of breaking. Oh, Desai, if I loved you anymore, I would shatter into a million pieces and be ripped away by the wind.” He gulped for air, and whispered, “You have no idea how much I need you. I want you to know that I love you with all my heart.”

“Oh, Thomas! I love you; my heart knew you did! I love you!” She screamed as she threw her arms around his neck and began to weep, “I knew you did but it sounds so good to hear it and it makes my heart happy!”

Thomas smiled broadly, as he caressed her face and tangled his fingers in her hair, “I do, darling. I love you. And I have for a long time. Forgive me for not being able to say it until now.”

“There’s nothing to forgive, Thomas. We love each other – that’s all that matters.”

He kissed her again, sweetly. “Are you hungry?”

“Let’s go out,” she grinned.

“We could, love, but that involves clothing,” he pulled her close, “and judging by the last twenty-four hours we haven’t been very well acquainted with clothing.”

Desai giggled. “No one will ever forget our engagement dinner! I think we’ll be on every cover of the tabloids and magazines. You were very naughty, but I loved it. Now, go put on some pants and we’ll go get breakfast.”

“I’d rather stay here with you. We could order breakfast, and have it delivered since I ruined it,” he said with one of his signature smirks.

Desai began to trace patterns on his shoulder and upper chest, “Thomas, if you think about it, I’m the one who ruined breakfast.”

Desai squeaked as he gathered her up in his arms, “Oh shush, love. Let me ravish you and then we’ll get breakfast dammit. You need your strength. After all, you are eating for two now.”

Desai laughed as they headed toward the bedroom.

Two hours later they were awakened by the delicious scent of bacon, Southern biscuits baking, and coffee. Desai threw an arm over her eyes, “Oh my God, Rosita’s vacation ended yesterday. Thomas, our clothes … kitchen floor.”

He just grinned at her as he pulled her arm away, “I wonder if she’s forgotten how to make good coffee?”

They both exploded into giggles and decided breakfast could wait a little longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love my muse she's still yelling at me so I'm still writing and will be until the story is done.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Desai is abducted, beaten and tortured ... I'm sure there will be triggers for some of you please read with caution.

**Wednesday before the Saturday Wedding**

Desai was making last-minute stops at the bakery dropping off the personalized cake toppers for both the wedding cake and the groom’s cake. The pair for the wedding cake looked just like them, dress, tiara, and veil, with Thomas’s white tie and tails. For the Swiss chocolate groom’s cake, she had a Loki. She had also made some small changes to the bouquets, boutonnieres, and corsages then went in search of silk stockings and other lingerie to go with her dress.

She was unaware that she was being followed by someone who had their own agenda.

He followed her as she went from store to store with a smile as bright as the sun and it seemed to him, not a care in the world. He had bided his time watching her from a distance slowly mapping out her routine until … She was finally alone.

He, after a stint in jail for injuring her and getting fired to boot, had patiently waited and watched, and now was his chance. He parked his van two spaces up from her car.

The first time he had seen her was when she had walked into the office in Atlanta two and a half years ago. He couldn’t keep his eyes off her. It was love at first sight and he knew that if he could somehow get her attention she would fall for him too. So, he had begun to make sure he would be in the same area as she was as often as possible. Elevator. Break room. Copy room. She had always smiled and been nice to him.

Then she had gone to England.

And came back with that man!

Clearly she was in love and so was that actor. How does a person know if an actor is just acting or if their emotions are real, he wondered as he absently rubbed his wrists.

Travis was jolted back to reality as she walked past his van. He could tell she was preoccupied with her tasks and would pay no attention as he quietly opened his door. He knew Desai and that man were to be married on Saturday and that they had been together for over a year – he didn’t care as far as he was concerned he would simply get her alone and she would fall for him – that was his plan.

He would keep her with him until she did.

Besides, he liked his women a little feisty – at first anyway. But Desai was different. He would have to approach her a little differently than he had the other women in his life. He knew just the place to keep her until she saw reason.

“Desai?”

The sun was shining, she was smiling, she had had three full days of no nausea, and the sky was a beautiful blue that reminded her of Thomas’s eyes. She had everything she needed for the wedding and was standing up from placing them on the back floorboard of her car when a man said her name.

“Yes?” he looked familiar and she knew she should know him, but she couldn’t place him.

“I wanted to congratulate you on your upcoming wedding. Glad to see you happy.” The words tasted bitter in his mouth, but he had to say them, and he had to get her alone to have his plan work.

“Thank you!” she said with a huge smile. “I know I’ve seen you and –”

“I’m Travis Seahorn and I want to apologize for that stupid stunt with the rig. Could we sit and have a coffee or a soda at the café over there?” She followed the direction he was pointing and nodded. _What could it hurt? It was a public place after all._ Desai thought as she closed the door to her car. “Sure, let me lock this up.”

Travis smiled at Desai as they walked to the café and asked, “How’s things been at the company?”

“Good. I’ve turned it all over to David and Donald.” She smiled at him. “I’m still the owner but they and the CEO run things and are doing a great job. I now have the time to do the things I want to do and have been making great headway with the animal shelters.” She glanced up at him, “Do you like animals, Travis?”

It was the first time he could remember her ever saying his name, all the other times it was just ‘Hello’.

“Travis?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I was thinking about a dog I had once. And yes, I love animals.” _They were so easy to manipulate and then get rid of._

“Do you have pets?”

“Not right now. I live in a place that doesn’t allow pets.” He looked down at her, “I bet you have several though.”

“I have several fosters but the only ownership I can claim is half of the affection of Thomas’s spaniel, Bobby.” She sighed, “I do have two wolf-dogs that live in Wyoming at the lodge there.”

He looked at her askance, “Wolf-dogs?”

She nodded, “Yes, their father is a grey wolf and their mother is a Tibetan Mastiff and they are huge! Both of them stand well over six foot when on their hind legs but they are so loving. None of the natural timidity of a wolf and all the love of a dog. I adore them, but they have to stay there. Not many of the states will allow them and none of the countries I travel to will. So, they stay there, and I know they’re happy and taken care of.”

“I’m not sure I would want a dog that big.” _Big animals fought harder._

She grinned. “Oh, they’re just like big puppies.” She sat at the table he motioned her to, and the urge hit her. “Excuse me, Travis, but I need the ladies room. Order me a Raspberry or a Wild-berry iced tea please and thank you.”

Travis smiled broadly at her, “Nothing to thank me for, it’s my pleasure.”

She smiled as a text from Thomas came through.

_‘What’s up, darling? I love you.’_

_‘Oh, just having some tea and enjoying the weather. The sky reminds me of your eyes. I love you too.’_

_‘We’re running late with things today, love. Good news is … I’ll have tomorrow off.’_

_‘Sounds great! We can lay abed and have a Tomfoolery good time.’_

_‘You just gave me a hard-on. :D’_

_‘I’m not apologizing. Not to worry I’ll put it to good use once you’re home. ;)’_

_‘Sorry, darling I have to go. I love you! <3’_

_‘I love you too, Thomas. <3’_

She walked through the café and out to the sidewalk and sat and just realized she had not mentioned who she was with.

Travis had carefully put the Rohypnol powder in Desai’s tea and made sure to use a couple of extra sweeteners in it to cover the taste just in case.

“Do you have family here, Travis?” she asked as she sat down and took a long drink from her tea. It was sweet a little too sweet for her taste but then every café and coffee shop had their own version of Southern sweet tea.

“No. My dad was killed in a crash almost five years ago and my mom, well she was just not the mothering type. She left us when I was just a kid.” She might as well know the truth. “My dad was a truck driver. He and my mom never married so I got her last name.” He was watching her closely. “I think we need to get you to your car, don’t you, Desai?”

“Travis,” she slurred. Something was wrong. She felt out of it as if she were drunk, and she nodded because she couldn’t form anymore words. “What did you do?!” she slurred. _He had put something in my drink!_

To anyone who was watching it looked as if he was helping a lady to her car. But he opened the side door on his van and placed her inside, she was already out. He also not-so-gently removed her engagement ring. He put the ring in her purse, unlocked her car, placed her purse on the front seat, locked the car, and tossed the keys inside then shut the door.

He took a rag that had been soaked in Ether and placed it over Desai’s face he would be driving for a few hours and he wanted no distractions.

_Was it wrong of him to be in love with the woman who had killed his father? Yeah, sure she’d had the green light but surely she saw the rig before she made that turn?_

***

When Desai had not answered any of his calls and not shown up by eight pm. Tom called the police and reported her missing. He was told that as an adult she wouldn’t be considered missing for seventy-two hours. He went to the local police station and told them that something was definitely wrong. Desai wouldn’t just up and leave like that.

“I found her car! For God’s sake! She had gone to the bakery and the florist! There’s a bag on the back floor of her car! I could see her stockings and other intimates in that bag! Her purse is in the passenger seat! She wouldn’t leave without her purse and phone!” He ran his fingers through his hair. “She’s been taken by someone, please you have to find her!”

“Did you touch anything?” Officer Stafford asked sitting upright.

Tom shook his head as he watched the officer organize a group of other officers and called for a forensic team to meet him in the parking lot.

“Mr. Hiddleston I am about to ask you to do something that I know from experience is the hardest thing to do in a situation like this and that is to go home and calm –”

“Calm down?! What the hell do you mean?! This is the woman I love more than life itself! I would die for her don’t you understand that?!” Tom pleaded, “Wouldn’t you feel the same way? What if it were your wife, or child, or fiancée? Would you not want something done?”

“Sir, we are doing what we can right now. Please, go home. I am sending Officer Ortiz with you. He will set up a listening device on your phone in case a ransom call comes in.” Stafford looked at Tom, “I know you and Desai are getting married and I’m not sure what she’s told you about her life here, but she’s had death –”

“Threats. Yes, she told me about that and warned me that it’s usually someone who needed attention or wanted her to do something for them. I believe this is different. She wouldn’t have left her phone or purse. She’s not that kind of woman. We love each other. She would not just up and leave me.” Tom’s voice became almost a whisper, “She’s pregnant but no one but family knows about it.”

“Tom, please go with Officer Ortiz and allow him access to your phone. And let him monitor your calls, he’ll be staying with you until this is dealt with.” He wished he could give the man some other sort of advice and comfort but what could he tell him that he probably didn’t already know.

Stranger abduction usually didn’t end well. If that is what this was. He knew Desai and admired her. It was because of her that the entire force had bulletproof vests, body-cams, and three new K-9 officers. The fire department had brand new trucks, new uniforms, and dress out gear. She was a great person and cared for the community she lived in.

Once home Tom paced like a caged animal, worried sick about Desai, and giving anyone who dared speak to him a glare fit to kill. He didn’t want to hear words of comfort. False or otherwise. He wanted Desai. Once he had her back he would be fine.

The Chief of Police Lurie Cochran walked in and looked around. Everyone looked scared.

“Tom?”

“Yes? Is there any news?”

“No, not yet. We have determined that is an abduction. The fingerprints that were found on her car and purse traced back to a Travis Seahorn.”

The second Tom heard that name he came undone, “That’s the bastard that hurt her! He oiled up the truck so that she would fall, and he got fired for it!” _What was she going through? Desai! I love you, darling!_

“Because it is we brought in the F.B.I... Now what I want you to do is have a seat with the rest of your family and friends and wait until they arrive. Please, Mr. Hiddleston. Desai would not want you to be this upset. As she would say, ‘It does no good to get upset. That only blocks your brain.’ Okay? She will be found.” He pulled the small plastic bag from his pocket, Tom saw it was marked as Evidence. “Do you recognize this?”

Tom wanted to take it out of the bag but knew he couldn’t. “It’s her ring. She wouldn’t have given this up without a fight,” his voice broke, and he sat heavily onto the couch.

“Is this her phone?”

Tom nodded. He felt like a child who had lost their favorite toy, he cried, and he didn’t care who saw him do so. He never knew how losing someone he loved like he loved her could hurt so badly. He’d never believed in God, but Desai did. He began to silently pray to a deity that if it truly existed would keep Desai safe, just let her come home alive.

The atmosphere changed as the F.B.I. arrived and questioned everyone including those that worked for Desai. It was noted that she went out by herself and had not had a driver like usual. It wasn’t unusual for her to want and need some alone time. That was one thing Thomas loved about her, she never complained about his long hours, but then again he knew she loved him heart and soul. She was a lot like him he enjoyed his solitude, although he loved spending time with her too.

Several of the agents spread out, calling and then meeting with the owners of the shops Desai had visited that day. 

The shop owner next door to the café that she had visited with Travis; one of the women remembering a man lounging around next door at the small café and saw him escort her away. He had been driving a beige van that had no windows.

Since people came and went so much she had not thought about getting the license plate number, but she had noticed it was a Florida tag. She offered the video and so had the other shops. At least now they had a description of the van and the man who had abducted her.

***

News stations picked up the police chatter and the news spread like a wildfire. Reporters were clamoring over each other to get Tom’s attention.

“Is it true?!” They screamed from the gated driveway.

“Has Desai been kidnapped?”

“Is this a publicity stunt?”

“Is this her way of backing out of the wedding?”

“Has she left you to have an abortion?”

Tom and Luke decided that he should hold a press conference, with the local police in attendance.

The police made their statement first. Chief Cochran made his way to the microphones. “I want to make things very clear. Desai Alexander did not leave of her own accord. She was abducted by a man whom we believe to be Travis Seahorn. This is not a publicity stunt of any kind, this is not a ‘cold-feet’ situation in which she left her fiancé. I take personal offense to the remarks some of you have been making about Ms. Alexander. She is and will remain a contributing citizen of this community. Do not think for a second that I take the comments you’ve said about her and her fiancé Mr. Hiddleston lightly. They are hurtful, slanderous, and malicious. And _ALL_ of you should be deeply ashamed.”

As the Chief moved away from the microphones, Tom took his place and he raised his arms for quiet. “Thank you, Chief. I will not answer your questions, the chief went over all of those pernicious comments. I will however say this, and this is directly to Desai.” He looked directly into the camera that was in front of him. “Desai, I love you, I always will. We will find you. Don’t give up, my one and only. Travis, if you have her I beg you – please do not harm her. She’s done nothing to warrant harm. She’s a wonderful and loving person … you must know that. Please, I beg you, release her and send her back to me – to us. We all love her.” He turned away before he broke down and Luke helped him inside.

***

Where she was she had no idea, nor did she know how long she had been there. She knew that her head pounded, and her throat and mouth felt terribly dry as if she had not had water in ages. Her arms ached and were bound with some sort of wide, what she presumed to be, leather bracelets. She was hanging from her wrists, her feet barely touching the floor a blindfold covering her eyes.

“Help! Is anyone there?!” She tried yelling, however, the sound that came out was a barely audible screech. She blew air through her nose in long hard puffs and was trying so hard to keep her composure, but the tears came anyway. She kept thinking of Thomas, _what was he going through?_ She continued to move her fingers and that’s when she noticed that her engagement ring was gone.

_He didn’t have to kidnap me to get it! I would have given it to him! I loved Thomas, not the damn ring!_ She sobbed, **_her Thomas_**. _Will I ever see him again? Was he wondering where I was? Did he think I had left him?_

“Are you finally awake? Took you long enough. I thought I had killed you.”

“Who – Travis,” She scratched out.

“Oh, my dearest Desai. If only you had allowed me to take care of you when you got hurt falling off that rig. Things wouldn’t be the way they are now.”

_Travis?! Make him see reason._ Desai rasped out, “Travis? Oh, Travis. May I please have some water?” She hated to beg, but she knew that if she didn’t play nice, there was no telling what would happen.

“I suppose after almost two days of being out you do need a drink.” He said as he walked away. He spoke as if it were a casual conversation over dinner.

He was, she realized, more deranged than anyone had thought. He was a sociopath pure and simple.

“Desai, here and take it easy … I don’t want you getting sick.”

As soon as the sip coated her throat her morning sickness arose with a vengeance,and she tossed the contents of her stomach onto Travis. “You bitch!” he screamed as he backhanded her.

She felt her nose start to bleed. “I’m sorry, Travis.”

Travis grabbed her lower jaw in his hand and growled, “Desai, if I didn’t love you I’d beat the fuck outta you!” She heard him as he cussed under his breath. Then she felt a punch in her gut so hard she pissed herself.

“No!” She kicked and dodged but in the end, all she could do was cry through the pain as he hit her again and again, sides, back, front, using her like a punching bag. She must have passed out because when she awoke the blindfold was gone.

The agony was almost unbearable as waves of pain surged through her. She sobbed, until she was dry and then just silently wept. _Am I still pregnant?_ There was no way she was letting Travis-the-demented know she was.

“Thomas!” She croaked almost silently, but it was useless. No one save Travis knew where she was. She listened intently and heard water lapping at something. There was a smell of old cottonseed oil and fish; the beam above was old and weathered grey but sturdy and so was the chains that held the leather bracelets. The rest of the building was made of thick wooden planks and looked to be very old. She was thinking that it was probably used as a cotton storage house – at one time anyway. They had to be close to a dock, the smell of fish, the sound of water lapping, then she heard a boat, it sounded like a shrimp boat. _Are we in Savannah? Florida? Mobile?_

She licked her lips and tasted blood and was pretty sure that Travis had hit her in the head from the way she felt. Her vision was a bit blurry, so she figured she probably had at least a slight concussion.

From somewhere behind she heard Travis talking but wasn’t sure if he was talking to himself or another person. “Travis?” she murmured. “Please I need water.” If she could stay hydrated she’d be ok, but if he decided to keep punishing her and not give her any...

She swallowed back nausea, but it was no use she vomited from the pain.

Travis threw the water in her face. “Bitch! You fucking bitch! You’re still puking!”

“It’s from the pain, Travis.” She tried another approach. “Travis? Do you really want me dead? I’m sorry. I didn’t know you cared about me. I really didn’t know.”

Travis asked her, thoughtfully, “So what should I do?” He sighed wishing he hadn’t beat her so badly, but he had to punish her.

“I need a doctor, Travis. And I need water.”

“You need?! Is it always about you?!” He raged as he backhanded her. “It’s your fault! My dad died because of you! If you had just looked and saw his rig! You got everything! I should have at least got something! You killed my dad!” At that he began beating and slapping her again. She gave a kick and got him the nuts. Surprisingly, she had enough energy to laugh at him. She hated him and she was tired of being a victim. If she were to die here in this place, then she would at least try and put up a fight.

After Travis gained his footing he disappeared to his van that was parked somewhere behind her. She knew that because that’s where he went to sleep every night. She could hear him rummaging around in that toolbox of his. As he came around the side she could see through the slits in her eyes, the scissors and clippers in his hand, and became frightened. “What are you going to do with those?” she whispered raggedly.

“I’m cutting your hair.” He spoke so calmly as if what was happening was an everyday occurrence. “That was how they used to mark a woman as being a whore! Then I’m going to tie it around your neck in a pretty bow.”

“Travis, I need to see a doctor.” She implored. Damnit she hated to beg, but he ignored her as he put her hair up into a high ponytail then began plaiting it, put another hair tie on the end then cut it off at the top. And then he took the clippers and shaved her head. The look in his eyes as he tied the long braid around her neck was wild. She knew he was going to beat her again.

“You shouldn’t have let that man touch you!” he screamed in Desai’s ear then began to punch her in the face and head. “You should have fallen in love with me! I should have been the one to get you pregnant!”

“I was in love with Thomas before –”

“Shut up! Don’t you dare say his name!” he boomed as he slapped her so hard she saw stars before blackness took her away. When she came to she was alone, it was pitch black. She heard scurrying and knew it was rats. They smelled the blood. She screamed as one began nibbling on her foot. She kicked at them putting more of a strain on her arms and she felt a snap and pull knowing that her left shoulder was now dislocated as well as her right.

Travis opened the door of his van and climbed out watching as Desai kicked at the rats, he knew that if he didn’t get rid of her – one way or another, he would be found. He vowed to himself he would not go to jail. “Never again,” he muttered.

_I’m dying,_ Desai thought as she felt the air against her naked body and the blood as it trickled down her thighs. _The baby is gone, my precious little fighter. Oh, how you would have been loved little one._ She wept with the grief for a child she would never see. Never know. Their child.

She was silent, too weak to talk anymore; hanging limp as a wet washcloth, never moving as he slapped her face trying to wake her up. She never knew when he undid the chains that held her and let her drop to the floor, or when he gathered her into the back of his van and drove her to the nearest hospital, threw her out on the ground, and drove off.

***

There was suddenly excited talk on the policeman’s radio, _“A woman matching the description was dropped off at UAB Hospital – Birmingham, Alabama.”_

“What’s her condition?” the policeman asked lowly.

A crackle came back, _“She’s in surgery.”_

Tom went white and very nearly passed out when he heard that. “Ron! Get the plane ready! I have to be there when she wakes up!”

Once at the hospital Tom bounded out of the vehicle not waiting for it to completely stop and ran full speed into the building through a throng of reporters. “I’m Tom Hiddleston, where’s Desai Alexander?” he asked breathlessly to the Information Receptionist.

“Are you fam –”

“She’s my fiancée. I have to know where she is. Please, I have to see her.”

“Sir, she’s still in surgery. You are welcome to go into the waiting room,” she pointed down the hall. She shook her head as he took off she said a quick prayer.

Tom sat silently with his elbows on his knees, hands clasped together, his nervous energy making it hard for him to sit still. His mind going in a million directions as he thought about Desai. _She’d been gone a week! What had she gone through during those seven days?_

Three long hours later the surgeon came in looking tired but relieved. “Is there family here for Desai Alexander?”

Tom nearly leaped to the ceiling as he approached the doctor. “I’m her fiancé, Tom Hiddleston. How is she?”

“Alive.” The doctor motioned for all of them to sit down as he closed the door to the surgery waiting room. “Are all of you family?” When everyone gave the affirmative, he continued, “She’s in critical condition. I know she’s been missing for a week now, it’s apparent that she was deprived of fluids and she’s been severely beaten. She’s very dehydrated, which we are still working on. She also has a concussion along with a skull fracture. Some broken ribs. One that punctured her lung. Her shoulders were dislocated. She’s also lost a lot of blood.” He looked Tom in his eyes.

Tom began crying, “Yes, I love her she’s my fiancée and is pregnant –” He stopped as the doctor shook his head.

The tears flowed as the doctor continued. “Her abductor beat her until she lost the baby and damned near killed her. I am so sorry. Her bladder was ruptured as was her right ovary. Keep in mind she’s a fighter, Mr. Hiddleston. The other surgeon and I repaired the damage to her bladder and removed her right ovary and fallopian tube and also performed what is called a D&C to make sure the uterus was cleaned.” He gently patted Tom on his shoulder as he said, “There should be no reason why she will not be able to have other children, although it could be difficult for her to get pregnant with only one ovary.”

“Thank you, doctor. Thank you. When may I see her?” Tom asked nervously.

“Give the nurses in the unit about half an hour to get her properly in bed and situated. She’s on a ventilator right now due to her fractured ribs, blood loss, and weakened state.” He sighed, “I’ll have her nurse come and get you.”

Tom nodded as the doctor walked away then promptly lost it. He sat on the floor against one of the upholstered chairs gulping air tears streaming down his face. He cried for Desai and the loss of the baby, his baby. Their baby was gone, and he was bitter.

“Well,” he sniffed, “no need to worry about a scandal now,” he sneered. “No, bastards to worry about!” He gave Diana and Luke a pointed look that said more than his words ever could.

Diana opened her mouth, but James silenced her, “Not now, Diana,” he said in a whisper.

“Don’t tell me what to do!” She said jerking away from James. “Tom, I’m so –”

“Save it, mum. I’m not in the mood. My heart is broken. You didn’t like her anyway and wished she was dead, you do realize that she could die … don’t you? The baby – our baby – the one you called a bastard – is dead. Does she know? Is her mind on getting well?” He threw his hands in the air. “I mean she knows how you feel about us being together. I can only hope that she knows how much I love her.”

Desai’s nurse came in, “Mr. Tom Hiddleston?”

“Right here,” he said jumping up from the floor.

“You can come in now, sir,” she said softly as she looked around the room. “Are all of you family?”

Everyone said a ‘yes’ the nurse nodded and decided to fill all of them in on Desai’s condition. “Desai is in critical condition. When you see her please do not allow your emotions to get the better of you. If you do you will be asked to leave her room.” She looked back to Tom as she opened the waiting room door, “Follow me please.” As they stepped into the hallway she stopped him and said, “Tom, I know Desai, she visits the hospital when she can and comes in sometimes and volunteers to rock the babies. She came in a couple of weeks ago and gave us all invitations and sat in the nursery talking about the baby, the wedding, and you. All of us were so happy for her – now we are all praying for her. She loves you never doubt that, Tom.”

All Tom could do was nod and swipe at his eyes. 

“Tom, Desai is a strong woman. She’s been through a lot. I am so very sorry for the loss of your baby. She has several tubes that you will see connected to her; two subclavian ports for her IV fluids, they began to give her blood in the emergency room, she’s on another unit now and is scheduled for three more. She has fractured ribs, one of which punctured her lung, and a chest tube to drain the fluid, and her shoulders were dislocated. I’m sure the doctor filled you in on her other injuries and those repairs.”

Tom nodded as he took a deep breath, “I – I’m ready.”

“Tom, I do not think you are. She’s on a ventilator. She also has a feeding tube and a catheter. She’s going to need for you to be strong and not to show or let on how bad it is. She needs you to tell her everything is going to be fine. And I believe it will be, but she has a long recovery in front of her.”

Tom nodded. “I understand.”

He hit the floor in front of her room when he saw her covering his mouth with his fist as the tears once again flowed from his eyes. “Oh my God, what did he do to her?” He murmured. “What happened to her hair,” he whispered raggedly as he stared at her shaved head.

Desai’s nurse came over to him and helped him stand as she said quietly, “It was tied around her neck when she was left at the E.R.” She leaned up to murmur, “You have to be strong, Tom, for her, if not for yourself.”

He nodded, stood up straight and entered her room. The continuous beeping of the machines was enough to drive anyone insane. Her heart monitor showed a steady rhythm of 64 BPM, her blood pressure was a bit low but after what she had gone through he was thankful she was alive. “Hello, darling. I love you, Desai.” He kissed her temple. “We are going to get through this, my one and only. I’ve put everything on hold. Once you are better we will get everything going again.” He gently placed her hand in his as he leaned down and kissed it. “And you will get better my love.” He noticed that her heart rate increased a bit. _Could she hear him?_ “I will bring a book tomorrow and read to you. I know you’ve been hurt, and I know about the baby. I love you, darling, never ever doubt that.” He paused for only a moment then he began to walk the room and recite what they both loved,

“ _I love the piece of earth you are,_

_Because in all the planetary prairies_

_I do not have another star. You repeat_

_the multiplication of the universe._

_Your wide eyes are the light I have_

_of the vanquished constellations,_

_your skin pulses like the roads_

_the meteor follows in the rain._

_Of so much moon were your hips to me,_

_of all the sun your deep mouth and its delight,_

_of so much burning light like honey in the shade_

_you heart burnt by long red rays,_

_and this is how I follow your fire – kissing you,_

_small and planetary, dove and geography_.”

He continued to quote poetry and Shakespeare until the nurse asked him to leave so that Desai could rest. Desai’s nurse gave him the address to a nice hotel that was close and told him that she appreciated what he was doing for Desai.

“She and I love poetry and we quote it to each other a lot. I’m giving you my phone number, if anything changes – please either you or one of the other wonderful nurses – please, please call me.”

“I will Tom. I promise. By the way, my name is Connie Johnson, we work 12-hour shifts and I will be back tomorrow evening.”

He wrapped her in a hug, “Thank you, Connie. Thank you.”

“I tell you what,” she whispered conspiratorially. “I’m here until 7 am, why not come back after you get a room and just sit and hold her hand?”

“You are an angel, Connie. Truly you are.”

He came in through the Emergency Room entrance ignoring the screaming reporters and made his way to the Critical Care Unit. He had a large bouquet of red roses for the nurses and a huge box of chocolates. “How is she?” he asked as he placed the vase on the nurse’s desk. “She appears to be asleep, but we cannot be sure. Tom, she cannot have flowers in her room,” Connie said sadly.

“Oh, I know. These are for you and your crew.” He passed her the box of chocolates, “And so are these.” He moved away and stood by Desai’s bed and leaned down to whisper, “I’m here darling and I love you.”

Tom sat quietly in the chair next to her bed, leaning his head back but still watching Desai. This was the third time – the third time he had sat in a hospital at her side and this time was the worst.

He loved her now, oh he had loved her almost from the beginning but now he was heart and soul-deep in love with her. He felt as if her heart were to stop then his would also. What would be the point in going on without her? However, he reminded himself she was strong and young – and beautiful. He held back a sob as he allowed the tears to flow down his face unchecked but silent. Because the thought of going on without her was something that he couldn’t face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was beaten and thrown down a flight of stairs and was left there -- I lost a baby because of it I rely a lot on my past life experiences when writing -- it helps retain my sanity.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Travis Seahorn gets surprised, Tom shows his fighting side. Desai gives details of her abduction. Tom and Desai slowly begin to heal and grieve. 
> 
> Could be triggers here, please read cautiously.

Two weeks after Desai was placed in the Critical Care Unit Tom was about to enter the hospital when a man dressed as an orderly called to him wearing a broad smile on his face, “How’s Desai?” he asked in an overly cocky manner.

Tom glared at the man, recognizing him immediately, then ran at the man drawing back quickly he punched him. All of his anger at everything he had ever endured was taken out on the man as he screamed, “You son of a bitch! How could you?! She didn’t deserve any of it!” Tom kept beating the man about the face and body as the F.B.I. rushed in pulling Tom off Travis Seahorn. Travis looked like he was in shock. He couldn’t believe that man had bested him. There was so much blood he couldn’t see where he was going as he was dragged away in handcuffs.

Tom had taken a few licks and was a little bruised but Travis clearly had a broken nose and soon-to-be-black-eyes. “Did you really think that by dressing as an orderly you could gain access to her?!” Tom screamed as he tried to pull from the agent’s arms.

Once in custody Travis spilled his guts and told them everything, then promptly tried to find the homemade cyanide pill that to his dismay had been knocked out during the fight. He began to cry like a child. He knew what would happen to him once he was behind bars. _I can’t let that happen! I’m a man – not a whore! I – I – no!_ He looked around frantically searching for something to use as a weapon, even if they killed him – it would be better than what would happen to him in prison.

Travis had a trick that his father had taught him; dislocating his thumbs he could easily slip out of handcuffs. No way in Hell was he going to prison.

As he was being led out to the awaiting van, he slipped his cuffs, and made his move, he didn’t stand a chance but anything was better than …

Travis Seahorn was shot dead with more holes in him than Bonnie and Clyde put together. It was for the best really, no costly jail time, no court costs, and no more horror for Desai to have to live through.

Better all around.

***

A month later Desai was off the ventilator and in a regular room, but not talking, she just stared into space. Tom felt as if she was just a shell of the woman she had been and was no longer his Desai.

“Darling, I have some good news. The man who kidnapped you was taken into custody,” he said as he leaned down and gave her a kiss on her cheek, he wasn’t exactly lying to her. Should she know the truth? He would ask her nurse what she thought about it. He was surprised when she turned her head toward him and said, “Don’t lie to me, my love,” in a raspy voice.

“Desai! Oh, my love!”

“I know he’s dead. He kept saying he was never going back to jail. Do the police know where the other women are?” her voice still raspy. _It sounded awful to her ears. Had she screamed that much that it had strained her vocal cords? Or was it from the ventilator and nasogastric tubing?_

Tom was shocked. “Darling?”

“I need out of here, Thomas. I have got to help the police. Please, my love.”

“Desai,” he began but at her expression, he added, “I’ll get the nurse.”

The doctor would not release her simply because she was still too weak. Desai didn’t like it, but she agreed. Tom noticed slight but noticeable changes, he supposed that was to be expected after everything she had been through; she was startled more easily, some of the light was gone from her eyes, he vowed he would bring it back, and she was constantly washing her hands or using hand sanitizer.

He smiled at her when she turned to look at him. “I love you, Thomas. Are you sure you still want to marry me? Our baby is gone,” she whispered softly, “and there may not be another. Can you live with that?”

He leaned down close with his hands on either side of her and said, “Can you live with a man who loves you more than life itself? I did not want to marry you because you were pregnant, Desai. I wanted and still want to marry you because I love you. I always will. I am devastated that – that monster – caused you to miscarry, I loved that little imp and was looking forward to meeting our baby. I love you, darling, and if in the future if you cannot have a child then we will adopt – if that’s alright with you.”

His eyes said more than his words and she reached for him with a, “Hold me, Thomas.” They both wept then for their loss.

An agent from the F.B.I. chose that moment to come in. “Sorry to interrupt. Ms. Alexander, I’m Agent Josef Guren and I have a few things I need to talk to you about.”

“I’ll be back, darling,” Tom said as he released his hold on Desai.

“No, please stay with me,” she pleaded looking frightened. Desai looked to the agent, “He stays, or I don’t talk.”

The agent nodded and took a seat. “Travis told us many things, many of which I cannot divulge as this is an ongoing investigation. I want to know what you can tell me, Ms. Alexander about where you were and what you saw. And as much about what Travis did to you as possible,” he said as he turned on a recorder.

She nodded and grabbed Thomas’s hand as she looked away and began shakily in her rasping voice, “Well, when I woke up I was blindfolded, and he had me strung up by my wrists with leather bracelets and chains, my feet just barely touched the floor. I also realized that I was not alone. Anna was already there. Unlike me he had her tied up with rope …so tightly that her wrists bled.”

Tom tried to keep the anger and shock off his face but feared he was doing a poor job of it. _What had she gone through? He knew she had been beaten and beaten severely, but to be strung up by the wrists?_ _I should have really let loose on the bastard, let all of them know just what kind of anger ‘Mr. Nice-all-the-time Hiddleston’ was capable of!_

“How do you know it was leather if you were blindfolded?”

She looked at him incredulously, “Sir, I know leather, I know how it feels against skin. I have horses, I know how leather smells. Once he took the blindfold off I could see that he had chains looped over a huge wooden beam that ran the width of the building and they were linked to the bracelets with padlocks on both.” She looked at him, “You already know that because I came in with those damned things on my wrists.” She shook her head and looked back out the window.

“The place smelled faintly like rancid cottonseed oil.” She made a point of looking at him as she further explained. “I know how cottonseed oil smells because when I was growing up I picked cotton and when the oil gets old or goes bad it smells, almost like rancid olive oil.” She balled her left hand into a fist as she continued, “The floor was hard-packed dirt, except for the graves across from me. Some were old, some not so old. He made a point to tell me that some of them were _not_ animals.” She could feel the tears as they began but could no more hold them back than she could stop her heart from beating. “I suppose that he intended for the new one to be mine, or as it turned out, Anna’s,” she said raggedly. “Anna – I – he made me watch what he did to her.”

Tom could not hold back the gasp or the sob as he kissed her hand and murmured against her fingers, “I love you.”

“Can you describe the woman?” the agent asked.

“She was about my height maybe a bit taller, it was hard to tell. She had light brown hair short and curly. Her eyes were light-colored I would have to guess blue or green. We weren’t that close together. He had her strung up like me, but her feet were not touching the floor. I tried talking to her but that just made him mad. I got a beating –” she sobbed, “And – he – she – she – he cut her tongue out. He did that because I asked her what her name was!” She looked up and cried, “I’m so sorry Anna! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

A nurse came in and said firmly, “If you’re only going to upset her, sir, you need to leave.”

“No!” Desai exclaimed. “He needs to know everything that that monster did to us. I know he’s dead. And I sincerely hope he is roasting very slowly in Hell. No one has the right to do what he did to those women. I got off light. Anna and the others weren’t so lucky.”

Tom was more than shocked. _She felt as if she got off light? She damned near died! She’d lost their baby! Almost bled to death … he wouldn’t call anything that happened to her as getting off light._

She looked at the nurse and gave her a small smile. “I’ll be alright, the doctors have told me so and so did the psychologist. It’s better to talk about it or write it down which I intend to do. Who knows maybe in the future it’ll be a best seller.”

“Darling, please, this is stressing you more than you realize,” Thomas said softly as he kissed her hand. His fingers were red from lack of circulation, but he was not about to tell her that.

“Thomas, I have to do this. I have to, for all those women. Earendel, there were ten large graves and several others that were smaller. I counted them and that includes Anna’s. He dumped her in it like she was trash. As if she were nothing,” she whispered. "After he finished with her. What if some of those were …children?" She looked away then added, “He had a small ditch digger he used to dig the holes. After he disposed of Anna – he dug another – I thought it was for me.”

With that revelation, Tom climbed onto the bed with her and gathered her in his arms. “Okay, now, I know you believe that you need to do this, but as you told Da’ ‘We’ll do it together.’ Okay?”

“Okay.” She looked at the agent, “I’m ready to continue.” He nodded and she began, “I cried and sobbed for him to stop torturing Anna, but he wouldn’t. He raped her – over and over. I will not – I cannot un-see what he did to her or un-hear what he said.” She shook her head, “I can’t – I.” 

Tom, rubbed her arms and tried to soothe her but after all that – would she ever be the same? He guessed not but who could blame her? “It’s alright – I’m here and it would be better for you if you would go on and tell this man what was said and done. Get it out so you won’t have to talk about it again. I’m here with you, my love.”

_How could I go on?_ She loved this man more than life itself, but _should he know what had been planned for her? For him?_ “I love you, Thomas.”

“I know and I love you too.”

She took a deep and cleansing, although a bit shaky, breath. “When I first woke up —he said I had been out for two days; he said he thought he had killed me because I was out for so long. I asked for a drink of water, and when he gave it to me I vomited, and he got really mad and began beating me and calling me a bitch.” Keeping Thomas’s hand in hers she folded their joined hands in her lap and asked, “Why do you need to know all of this? He’s dead and you said he told you everything.”

“In case there are any other survivors who might be too scared to come forward otherwise. How did you get through to him? Did you promise him something? How was it that you were only beaten?”

Desai looked at the agent askance. “Only beaten?” She shook her head. “Have you ever been eaten to the point that you pissed blood? That an ovary was destroyed? That a baby was lost? Threatened with sodomy and rape?” She shook her head again, “Oh, no, agent, I wasn’t only beaten. My life wasn’t taken but that in no way means – and I hear it in your voice and tone – in any way shape or form that I was in on what that monster did to those women and if you think I am you should tell me right now … and I will retain a lawyer. And you dear sir can roast in Hell with Travis Seahorn.”

“Guren! What the – you’re supposed to be questioning Ms. Alexander not interrogating her like a suspect!” The man motioned for the one called Guren to move out of the way, “Go stand over there and keep your mouth shut!” The man that had just came in offered his hand to Desai, as she took his he noticed how small her hands were and how bruised they remained. “I am so very sorry for his rudeness and for everything you went through and the loss of you and your fiancé’s unborn child.” He gave her a smile which she did not return and said, “I’m Agent Rollins and I would like to know as much as you can tell me about the sociopath that tortured you and killed those other women. I will be recording this if that’s alright.” He picked up the recorder ready to turn it off.

“Yeah, it’s okay. Do I need an attorney present?”

“Only if you want to, you have not and are not being charged with anything. Nor will you be in regards to this case.”

“What can you tell me about where you were held?” he asked quietly.

“There was a fishy smell, and I could hear water lapping against what I thought was concrete or maybe a wooden dock. I also heard boats. Shrimp boats to be exact. I felt he had me either in Savannah, Florida, or Mobile.”

“It was Mobile, Ms. Alexander he told us about the graves. Did he touch you in any –”

Anger flared inside her and her green eyes blazed. “Hell, yes, he touched me he beat me until I pissed myself and then kept on until the baby I was carrying was dead! Did he rape me?! Not with his ... he used his fingers and sex toys, he threatened me with sadistic looking sex toys and he cut my clothes off.”

Tom closed his eyes as tears of anger ran down his face. He should have killed him! What had she endured at the hands of that monster?! Threats, rape, it didn’t matter that he didn’t use his dick! He raped her. How would she …? Would she want …? He would have to get her over her fear. He would, he vowed, he would teach her again how lovemaking should be.

She shook her head, “When he was groping me the first time – that was when he discovered I was pregnant and after he tortured then murdered Anna – it was a day or two before he brought me to the hospital. I think. I was so in and out of it – I really don’t know.” She looked out the window, “Did you know he planned on skinning me alive like he did Anna, but he was also planning on filming it and then sending it to Thomas? He wanted him to suffer as he watched him kill me slowly.” She shivered and Thomas drew her closer. “He did things to Anna that was beyond torture and he made sure that I saw it – if I closed my eyes for more than just a blink he beat me. He mutilated her and did it slowly so that she felt it all. He –” Desai began to shake as if she were in a seizure as she almost shouted, “I hope that every torture he put on those other women and animals is given right back to him a hundredfold!”

She leaned into Thomas’s strong arms and sighed as he enveloped her in his embrace. She sighed again as she finished her account, “His father is the man who caused the wreck that killed my brother, and Andrew Alexander, my late husband. Travis blamed me and at the same time was telling me he loved me and that as soon as I got used to the idea things would work out.” She made a noise that was between a choke and a growl. “He was a sociopath, he could blend in when he had to and make nice to those he had to, but when he was alone he was constantly planning. He had several notebooks he kept in that van. They were his journals of sorts, I guess. He had a chair he would sit in across from me as I dangled like a side of beef and he sketched me! The sick bastard sketched me! He sketched Anna – at the last he did it in her blood. I’m pretty sure he sketched me in blood too. He collected it and added something to it to keep it from clotting.”

“Did he mention other places?”

“His mother’s … ah, although he never mentioned her name, he never said anything good about her. Only that she wasn’t the mothering type. He mentioned Tennessee – Elkmont. He was always talking about mountains and I don’t think it was the Smokies. He mentioned Colorado and Oregon.” 

“Ms. Alexander. Can you think of or remember any other places he mentioned?” At Desai’s expression, he added, “We believe that Mobile was a new area for him. We know he had Florida plates on his van, and he had several …”

“More victims,” she finished for him and he nodded. “I know he hates anyone who is not American or white.” She looked at the man. “He also had a camera. He never used his phone camera, too public he had said, but he had a handheld video camera that he would set up making sure he captured everything.” Desai shrugged, “That’s all I can help you with. I’m sorry.”

“No, Ms. Alexander. Thank you, and I am truly sorry for your loss.” He got up and left the room with the first agent on his heels.

Tom gave Desai a gentle hug, “Oh, my love! You are so very strong to have gone through all of that. I love you, my darling I do, and I always will.” He took her hands in his and began kissing them tenderly.

“I just want to go home, Thomas,” she murmured as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “I love you,” she said as she began to sob as she climbed into his lap. Tom cried with her mourning the baby they would never see. Mourning their happiness that for the time being was put on hold.

He held her softly being aware of her still-healing ribs, her bruises, and her sutures. He made gentle circles on her back as he wept. “I was so scared, Desai. I was so afraid that I would never see you again. I prayed for you to come back. I’m still not sure about God but I—”

“It’s – I’m going to be fine, Thomas. I was scared for _you_ , earendel. I was so afraid that I would never see _you_ again. I prayed that you wouldn’t think I had left you.” She gathered his face between her hands. “I’ll never leave you, not unless you want me to.”

“Then you are stuck with me forever, my love. I never want you to leave. Never. I need you – I love you – and I want you in my life forever.”

There was a light knock on the door as Tom and Desai looked they were met with a smiling James Hiddleston. “Hello, daughter.”

“Da’!” Desai exclaimed as she reached out her arms.

Tom stood and allowed his father to give her a gentle hug. “I missed you, girl. How are you?”

“Da’, I will be fine. It’ll take some time, but Thomas and I will get there together.”

“I would love for the two of you to come and stay with me for a while. I think the Scottish air might do you some good, lass.”

She looked at Thomas and he gave a small nod. “Sounds wonderful Da’ just as soon as I’m released, and Thomas finishes up with filming we’ll be on our way.”

***

After another week Desai was discharged from the hospital and back home, she glanced over at the man who was sleeping beside her his arm protectively but tenderly laying across her stomach. He looked so beautiful while sleeping… or doing anything really, he was without a doubt the most beautiful man she had ever laid eyes on. Like an angel. He was the perfect man. Just ask any of his fans and they would say the same.

Tom felt he was being watched and opened his eyes, and smiled as he looked into Desai’s, “Hello, love. Is everything alright?”

“As long as I’m with you things are fine, darling.” Her stomach rumbled and she laughed.

“Sounds like something needs to be fed.” He sat up and gave her a kiss. “What would you like?”

“Ummm,” She looked at him. “I would like some of your porridge.” She tilted her head at his expression. “I guess I never told you that I love your porridge.” For reasons unknown, she burst into tears. “Thomas?” She began to shake. “I’m –”

He gathered her into his arms. “Shhh, love, I’m right here. It will be alright.” He rocked her gently as she sobbed. “I’m here. I’m here for you, love.”

“I know and I love you all the more for it. You are so very special to me. I have no idea – well yes I do know why I’m like this, and I’m sorry I can’t help it.” She knew to expect this behavior, it was normal, but she wanted no part of it. She felt as if it made her look feeble and that was something she was not. She also knew that Thomas was doing his level best to be there for her mini-breakdowns, and she loved him for it … but that didn’t make them any easier to deal with.

She had started a journal and had begun to write in it on a daily basis. She wrote about how Travis had tortured her in ways that would pale even Andrew’s; How she felt that she would never see Thomas again and how she knew she was going to die at the hands of that murderous sociopath.

She wrote about the loss of the baby and the things that Thomas and she would have done together with that child. She dared not place a name to the child, except to call the baby their Little Hiddleston, afraid that she would jinx any chance of another.

“Thomas, I love you, I’m so sorry. I should have never accepted his invitation for that drink.” She bowed her head and cried, “What happened to me is all my fault!”

“Shhh, no it’s not your fault, had you not, darling, he would have taken you by force.” Tom knew that had she said no … he heard the officer again in his head, _‘Seahorn said, ‘If she had not said yes, ‘I would have broken her arm and made her come with me. I would have gotten so mad I probably would have killed her right off.’_

“He would have tried.” Leaning into Thomas’s embrace she kissed him, and a slow heat began to spread throughout her body, something she never thought she would feel again. “I need you,” she murmured against his mouth.

“Mmmhmm, oh my love, I need you too and I want you,” he sighed, “but the doctor said no sex for another two weeks.”

“I know.” She stared into his blue eyes. “Can we dance and kiss?”

“Now that I can and happily will do. Anytime you feel like dancing I shall.” He smiled at her and tenderly rubbed his nose against hers. “What would you like to dance to?”

Tears filled her eyes as she said, “ _A Thousand Years.”_

Tom helped her out of bed and as the song played they slow danced around the room appreciating the love they had for each other even more than before and making sure that no ‘I love you’ would ever be left unsaid.

Thomas softly murmured, “All your worries, anxieties, troubles are banished from this place. I have naught but contempt for anything that would rob your lips of that captivating smile. Now come closer; bring me your beautiful lips once more…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again this was hard, having lost children to miscarriage plus one stillborn, it's hard and yet cathartic for me to write about events in my life.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of love, sex, some Tom dom. Did I mention sex? Well yeah, sex.

**Scotland**

Once she was able to travel they had left Atlanta and headed for Scotland to see his dad and spend some time just being with each other without all the crazy shit that came along with his life – their life.

They were together in life now.

He had finally found someone who loved him more than herself, he wished she would put herself first but she wouldn’t do that. She wasn’t that kind of woman. He sometimes cried because he didn’t know how to deal with love like hers. She was stronger than steel and as soft as velvet.

“What would you like to do today – well with the rest of the day, love?” Tom asked as he unlocked the cottage door.

She didn’t answer him immediately but as soon as they walked into the cottage she turned to him. “Thomas,” she said as she gazed into his eyes weaving her fingers in his hair.

“Yes, love?” he asked as he caressed her face.

“I need you, Thomas. Make love to me,” she said intently as she stared into his eyes.

Thomas blinked a few times in astonishment, not certain of what he’d just heard. They had made love before leaving Atlanta, and again on the flight. However, the look in her eyes indicated that she was dead serious.

“I’m serious, earendel. Right here…right now…in this room…up against the wall,” she pleaded. “Please, Thomas, I need you.”

Those three words always got him, more than the other three. When she said she needed him it made him feel like he could do anything, just because she had asked him to. With a loving grin and renewed energy, Thomas kissed his wonderful woman and deepened their intimate embrace. He didn’t bother trying to surmise what inspired her to want sex as soon as they walked in. If making love to her was what she wanted then he was more than willing and happy to make it happen for her.

Their lips met and their tongues entwined as their hands began to eagerly roam, Thomas pushed her up against the wall just next to the door. It didn’t matter that the drapes were open and anyone could see them. They were in love.

She jumped up into his arms, threw her legs around his waist, and began pulling at his jumper as she nipped and licked his neck and shoulders then whispered, “I can feel the Hiddlesconda unfurling. I want it deep inside me, earendel.”

Thomas nearly laughed at the term she had used for his dick, however, his mind quickly caught up with her idea and gladly obliged, shifting his torso so that she could pull his jumper up off over his head. He returned the favor by taking her shirt off too and tossing it across the room, aiming for a nearby chair but both landing on the floor. 

Desai commented upon feeling his bare chest, “I love how you feel under my fingers.”

“I love how you feel, love,” he said as he thumbed her hardened nipples through her bra.

Desai grinned as she slid her bra-straps to the side of her shoulders before slipping it off with ease. While Thomas quickly refocused his attention on her exposed breasts, she released her grip on him with her legs so that she could remove her pants. Before he knew it, she was down to a pair of white panties.

“Your turn,” she whispered into his ear seductively.

Before he had a chance to really enjoy her breasts, Desai dropped to her knees and undid his belt buckle. As soon as he was revealed, she pulled his pants and boxers down his legs, freeing his rapidly-growing manhood from its confines. Before he even stepped out of his shoes, she grasped his hardened member with both hands.

She looked up at him, “Do you remember the first time I ever went down on you?” she asked him while stroking his shaft.

“I remember. Oh, God, I remember so well,” Thomas said, already breathless.

“I’ll make sure you remember this time too.”

Always a woman of her word, Desai put her oral sex skills to good use.

With a perfect blend of passion and lust, she sucked along his hardening cock, her soft lips and slithering tongue stimulating every nerve. Thomas had to lean against the wall just to stay upright, moaning intently as she, drew him into a state of complete arousal.

“Oh, fuck, that feels good, love!” he gasped.

Still flexing her intimate skills, Desai gave his shaft one last lick before rising back up to her feet. From there, Thomas took charge. “Up against the wall,” he commanded in a deep, manly tone.

She looked at him with a captivated glance, as though he’d just triggered the most intense arousal she’d ever experienced, and murmured, “Yes, sir.”

Grabbing her waist, he turned her around so that she was face-up against the wall. From there, he grasped the sides of her panties and ripped them off, rendering her fully naked and giving him a perfect view of her heart-shaped ass.

She was very wet, he already knew that before he even touched her. He could feel the heat radiating from her inner thighs, longing for his loving touch. Never one to deny her, he positioned himself behind her and aligned his body with hers. He reached around her and unerringly found her clit, “So wet and ready for me? Oh, love, I have missed this!”

With a single thrust, he entered her, his rigid member penetrating her moist depths. They each let out a passionate gasp as her inner muscles tightened around his engorged cock, entwining their bodies and evoking a surge of intimate sensations.

After a moment to allow her to adjust to his girth and length he began to move his hips rhythmically. They were like two pieces of one soul finally finding each other.

He bit her shoulder where her neck joined and suckled, she was his! And he didn’t care who knew it!

Gasps both intimate and obscene filled the atmosphere as Thomas filled her body and mind with delicious sensations. She moaned and grunted as she pushed her ass backward. Arching her back and neck she murmured, “I’ve missed this, earendel. You feel so good!”

“I love you, Desai … I need you like I need air… you are my drug, love, truly I am addicted to you,” he murmured as he kept thrusting.

Desai let out an especially vocal gasp, turning her head and kissing his lips as their naked bodies moved in heated vigor. The sounds of their flesh banging together filled the area with a unique ambiance as if the room was cheering them on.

Never one to disappoint a cheering crowd, Thomas stepped up his passionate efforts. He made love to Desai with greater fervor and focus, pressing her body against the wall, even more, her breasts mashing up against the hard surface. As the sensations flowed through them, escalating with each successive motion of passion, it affirmed the memories they’d shared in other places. It also reminded Thomas why he fell in love with her.

“Desai…so much,” he gasped, “love you…so much.”

“Oohhh, Thomas! I love you!” she exclaimed. “Please…make me…cum.”

Once again heeding her amorous cries, Thomas used his leverage over her to reorient their bodies. In perfect coordination of passion, he briefly withdrew from her depths, which elicited a loud moan from her turned her around, and pinned her up against the wall. Just like before, “Jump up darling.” She obliged, throwing her legs around his waist. His hands now firmly on her hips, he lowered her back onto his cock and resumed their heated lovemaking.

Now facing her he could see love, affection, and ecstasy in her eyes, he caressed her face while she clung to his shoulders. With their bodies still moving at a fervent pace, grinding up and down the wall, he kissed her as he made a concerted push for greater ecstasy. The loud moans, combined with so many memories, helped raise the stakes. It wasn’t just about having a good fuck with her. It was a celebration of how far they’d come.

“Desai…I’m close,” he moaned into her ear.

“Me too, Thomas. Me too!” she gasped.

Having come to know his lover’s intimate proclivities, he did what he needed to do to carry her to the brink. When she was close, she liked it slow and thorough so that his manhood penetrated extra deep into her depths. All the lovemaking they’d done had made him adept at bringing Desai to orgasm. Taking her to that special threshold in such a special place was extra satisfying.

“Oohhh yes!” Desai cried out.

At that moment, he used the leverage afforded by the wall to fully support her, watching in awe as her expression contorted to the ecstasy that followed. It was a beautiful sight, seeing the woman he loved consumed with such bliss, feeling her body shudder under the weight of the pleasure.

As he admired her beauty, he let that same weight overtake him as well. With a few more targeted thrusts, he crossed that special threshold as well, achieving a powerful release that sent hot ripples of pleasure coursing through his body. The noises of their bodies slapping together along with their moans and grunts sounded obscene and it all seemed to converge around them.

“I love you,” he said breathlessly.

“Oh, Thomas, I love you too,” she said through her orgasmic daze.

As their naked bodies radiated in the afterglow of shared euphoria, he withdrew from her and captured her lips in another loving kiss. She remained against the wall, their naked bodies glistening with sweat in the midday sun.

Tom carried her to the bedroom and lay them both down, all the while murmuring his love for the woman in his arms. They had come so far gone through so much and yet … they still had the rest of their lives to explore each other … and to love.

The two weeks in Scotland seemed to bring Desai out of any gloom or fear that still lingered in her mind. He watched as his father fell in love with the woman he loved. He knew his dad already loved her but he was now getting to know her and learning about her. His father had never taken the time before, it was as if he knew Desai was the one from the moment they had met.

“I love you, Da’,” Desai said as they were about to board the plane that would take them to London. “You come see us, okay? We can come get you any time. You know that, right?”

“I do and I will, Dee and I love you too. I’m so glad you’re with us.”

Tom said his goodbye as he hugged his father then boarded the plane sitting next to Desai it was a short hour and a half flight. He could see that Desai was tired but then she had a right to be, she was still healing.

**London, Desai’s house**

“I’m coming for you, my pet!” Tom yelled as he searched for Desai. She nearly giggled as he moved past her hiding place behind the small palms in the darkened sunroom. As soon as he had passed she took off for the dining room. Tom heard her and whirled but wasn’t fast enough to see where she’d gone. “When I catch you, darling, I’m going to do sinful things to that glorious body of yours!” He boomed with a chuckle as he entered the living room.

Desai put her hand over her mouth as she giggled. She had been so naughty since she had healed. Thomas had helped her overcome most of the fear that Travis had put in her. She was now once again strong and healthy four months past their ordeal.

And two months away from their wedding.

However, now that she had healed completely and was able to really be her womanly self she had begun to play pranks. And games. Once more.

Today’s game was strip hide and seek, each time one of them was found before reaching home base a piece of clothing had to come off. She had only lost her shirt Tom was down to his boxers.

“Little girl, when I find you … oh the things I will do to that body of yours – I may just keep you in bed until I am so satiated that I can’t move, and neither can you. I am going to taste you from head to toe and back again until you are begging – no screaming for me to fuck you.”

Desai couldn’t help the shiver that ran over her body or the moan that escaped her lips and that was all that Tom needed to pinpoint her location.

Or so he thought.

She opened the china hutch door to see him across the large dining room facing away from her. She began to climb out when Tom whirled around. “Gotcha!” he yelled.

Desai screamed, “Not yet, you don’t,” she laughed as she headed for the kitchen. Tom somehow reached her just before she reached the table.

“I told you … I got you,” he murmured as he wrapped his arms around her drawing her into his embrace and kissing her deeply. “I say we count me as the victor and end this. I have so many things I want to do to you, pet,” he whispered against her shoulder as he reached around her tracing slow circles on her back as he nipped her neck as he suckled it gently.

Desai smiled and nibbled at his neck at the junction where his ear joined, she knew he loved it and she left a love bite so that everyone would know. “I know what you want to do to me, Thomas,” she whispered as she tugged gently on his earlobe with her teeth. “However, you caught me fair and square, so I lose another piece of clothing.” She wiggled out of her jeans and placed them with their other clothes piled on the table.

“You’re just begging for it aren’t you, love,” Tom said as he shook his head. Desai grinned at him showing off her white lacy panties and bra. He closed his hands into fists and said lowly, “I suggest you get to running love. Because I’m coming after you.” He turned those blue eyes shining with mischief on her and a dark smile crept across his face as he added, “Once I find you...well you’ll see what I’m really capable of,” he said with that jaunty tip upward of his chin. “This house and you are my oyster. I suggest you run … Now.”

She didn’t even think twice before dashing off. The adrenaline of being the hunted, again, the ‘prey’ to this, gorgeous, yet devious, six foot two man had her soaked and ready for him, but she wanted this game to go on.

She called out over her shoulder, taunting, “I’m not scared of you.” The maniacal laughter coming from the kitchen was enough to make her rethink that. Oh, she knew he wouldn’t hurt her – not really. He knew what she could take and what drove her to tears, he was careful with her now. And so was Loki. She loved both of them even more for that. 

She bolted towards the back but decided to take off in another direction to possibly throw him off. It was her best bet.

She neared her craft room and slid in behind the door, taking a chance and locking it as she willed herself to be silent and still. He slowly entered the room and went straight for the center island; she laughed and pulled the door closed behind her. She could hear him swearing as he tried to quickly unlock the door and as he did she made a beeline for the library.

“BOOP!” A loud sound came over the house intercom before she heard his smooth yet dark voice echo though the house. “Desai? Do I have your attention, love? I sincerely hope so. If you come out – right now – I’ll forego this wonderful contraption I hold in my hands.”

She heard a jingling and wondered what it could be, then it dawned on her – handcuffs!

“Alright, you asked for it. Ready or not darling here I come.”

An instant chill ran through her body. “Shit. Shit. Shit,” she mouthed as she ducked under her huge desk. Shit just got real. What would he do? What would the conclusion to this suddenly demented but fun and sexy game of hide and seek be? She jumped and covered her mouth when she heard his voice from the doorway.

“I wonder just what I could do to you while you have them on… utterly helpless, under my control.”

She took off. Looking from side to side, making sure not to crash into him, before dashing out the door. Something in his laughter made her stop and turn and she froze watching him spin those damn padded cuffs on his long index finger and whistling.

He stopped momentarily to give her a heated look and a smile as he said, “So, just how long are we going to go at this darling? It’s fun and all, but I just want you to know, that soon, whatever control you have over your body right now, it will shortly be passé. For every inch of you will belong to me.”

_Dear God. Did he know what that did to her?_ Of course, he did. Instantly she flushed over with heat. She fanned herself slightly before focusing back at the task at hand.

Tom grinned as she blushed from head to toe. “There’s only one other shade of pink I like better than the one you’re wearing right now … and I intend to fill myself with its delicious nectar as I make you scream for mercy –” he shrugged, “or more … but guaranteed little one, you’ll not get release until I tell or want you to.” He murmured, “You can give up now … or not, but either way it really doesn’t matter …” he sniffed the air like an animal, “I already know you are dripping wet for me, pet. That tight little quim of yours is quivering – throbbing in desire for me to fill you up.” He grinned again as she took off and susurrated, “Oh, how I do love your tenacity and spunk!”

She listened and looked at the grandfather clock in the living room it was almost ten p.m., then she decided to take a peek to see if he was still in the library, a breath she had held in seeped out slowly as she prepared to make her dash for it. She was ready to bolt to the kitchen when she felt a tap on her shoulder.

“Found you,” he growled in her ear.

“SHIT!” She screamed and ran.

His laughter broke out from behind her as she heard his bare feet hitting the tiled floor not far behind her. Her mind was in a frenzy, _where do I go? What do I do?_

“You are only wearing yourself out!” He calls from behind her, “What’s the use in that darling? I’m still going to catch you.”

A squeal and a giggle escaped her lips as she turned to see him, still on her tail. “AHHH! NOT if I can help it!”

“Big mistake darling.” Tom laughs.

“I’m still ahead, so that’s all that matters!” 

“Oh, not if I can help it.”

She quickly did a sharp turn around the center island of the kitchen losing some leeway. “No, No, no, no, no!”

“Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!” He taunted behind her, “I think it’s time for one little girl to be put in her place.”

“Wrong again Hiddles!” She laughed, “I’m not a little girl.”

“Oh, that’s what you think.”

She watched in amazement as he made a flatfooted jump and was on the island with a loud roar, as she turned, a little too late, she saw him lunge toward her, the first thing he grabbed was her waist and then her ankle instantly tackling her to the ground, both of them rolling, crashing onto the floor with her knocking the marshmallows, _Oreos_ , and chocolate syrup from the counter, her ankle clutched securely in his palm. His long fingers wrapped tightly around it.

Out of instinct, she began kicking at him, struggling against him as he shifted his weight onto her, pushing her down to the floor with all his might. Her head hitting the floor. “Owww!” she wailed as she grabbed her head hoping it would be enough for him to release her.

He did a quick once over and stated with a smile, “You’re fine. You didn’t hit that hard but let me tell you what I know.” Tom now had her at his mercy, and he and she both knew it. “What I know, is that you…my pet.” He leans in his voice in a lowly whisper. “Are mine... Now submit.”

Her breath hitched as her eyes widened.

With a less than gentle turn he flipped her over, her face nearly kissing the floor below her. “I didn’t grab these just for you for no reason at all, pet.” He quickly puts the cuffs on clicking them into place. He then dangles the keys in front of her face. “Let’s see how long you last shall we?”

Without warning, Tom pulled her up from her captured spot and begins slowly walking her toward the backyard.

“What are you doing – where are –”

“Nahah!” He pulls her tight against his chest, “Not a word my dear, girl. The only sounds I want to hear from you, is you moaning, begging for more, and my name. Nothing more. Nothing less….Understand?”

She let out a small whimper.

His eyebrow raises, “What was that, Desai? You know how we do things. Now, what do you say?”

“Yes, sir.” She said calmly before he led her toward the middle of the yard.

“Good girl. Now sit.”

He slowly pushed her to the grass underneath the huge oak tree. “Do not move or else.” He then walked off. She looked up at the bright night moon that hung in the sky above and jumped as all the lights instantly went out. Except for one. The one that he had on her.

_How the hell does he know how to use a hunting spotlight?_

A few moments later she heard him then saw what he had in his arms and her eyes nearly popped out of her head. She opened her mouth, saw his expression, and immediately shut it. No way in hell was she going to make things worse by getting her ass blistered any more than it would more than likely already be.

He was carrying a huge sleeping bag, climbing rope, clips, and what looked to be a small wooden switch, sort of like the one's grandmother used to whip our asses with, and most intriguingly, the chocolate syrup.

Oh, shit… she was in for it.

He smirked upon seeing the look on her face. “What’s the matter? I did say I would use anything at my disposal and to my liking, did I not, little girl?”

She nodded.

He rolled out the sleeping bag and then looked up toward the large lower limbs. “Yes, perfect.” He started to unravel the rope but then saw her observing what he was doing quite attentively waiting for whatever he had up his sleeve. “Well not quite.”

He then walked toward her, crouching down, then pulled her to him once more, and onto her feet. Her body began shaking in anticipation, as he pulled her up into a soft kiss. “No worries darling, all will come to you as needed. For now, though…..” He pulled a long dark green silk scarf from around his neck, “I need to surprise you a bit more. This should help. Now. Stand still, love.”

He then wrapped the scarf around her eyes and the back of her head. “There. Now….” Thinking he was going to walk off again, she was very mistaken. Tom pulled her taut against his chest once more, slowly placing butterfly kisses across her face and down her neck along with small nips here and there then licking the tops of her breasts. Smiling as she moaned.

She moaned, blistered ass or not, she couldn’t help it. She felt his smile against her neck as he whispered, “Tell me, how do you feel right now? How does it feel to know little one that you’ll be at my mercy soon? Begging me to do oh such dirty things to you? The pain that will turn into pleasure...you begging me….for more?”

“Now let it work. Mischief thou art afoot. Take thou what course thou wilt,” she said haughtily.

“Oh, so eager are we? Well then. Let’s not wait.”

Before she knew it, he pulled her closer, once more, now that she was blindfolded it made things even worse. “Thomas?”

“Shhh, did I say you could speak?”

She shook her head.

She felt and heard him as he chunked the rope over the limb, right before she heard him clip it. He then moved around to her back and uncuffed her only to bring her arms to her front to cuff her again then lift her arms above her head, tying off the rope to the cuffs before she felt herself being lifted up.

She started fighting him in earnest as flashbacks unwillingly entered her mind. “No! Oh, God, no! Please, no! Don’t hurt me please! Please! Travis, no!” She cried as flashbacks of what Travis had done to her rushed through her mind and she panicked.

“Shhh, love,” he said reassuringly as he placed an arm around her then placed a hand over her mouth. “It’s me, Desai. I will not hurt you, darling. Relax and enjoy this,” he soothed. “Calm down, please.”

And there it was; the gentle passion, the knowledge that although he was playing rough, he still loved her enough to break character to ensure she wasn’t in any real pain.

She calmed her breathing and nodded, knowing this was the last fear she had to overcome and no one else could help her do it but Thomas.

Tom checked to see how tight the rope was, testing it by tugging on it, making sure it wouldn't break. Her body was vertical, her feet in the grass. “How’re your wrists?” he asked softly. “Your shoulders okay?”

“I’m okay.” She smiled and said, “I love you, Thomas.”

“Good. I know and I love you too.” He kissed her nose then said, “First things first.”

She heard him circling her then she heard him stop, as a package of some kind was being torn open. She suddenly heard the sound of metal blades rub together with a click. “I don’t think you need this anymore.”

“No, no, no, no, wait don’t – please,” _Is he really about to cut my remaining clothes off? No doubt that was hot, but these were good clothes._

“Naaauhhh!” She felt him tug at her jawline, instantly she shut up, “What did I tell you? Do it again, and I will find something to put in that pretty little mouth of yours to shut you up. Do I make myself clear?”

She nodded frantically as he gripped her jaw tighter, leaning forward, his voice now in a growl, “Do. I. Make. Myself. Clear?”

“Yes, sir. Perfectly clear.”

“Good. I love you, my sweet.” She smiled at him but then gasped as he pressed the scissors against her skin putting a bit of pressure behind them, dragging them down to the base of her bra and pushing them under, the cold metal against her skin made her flinch.

“Did I nick you?” he asked fearfully.

“No, sir. The metal was cold,” she whispered, as he proceeded to cut it off. Three snips and the bra was gone. The cold metal now dragging down her side to her hip. The little scraps of fabric hitting the ground around her bare feet which she felt more than heard as he kicked them off to the side.

The cool night air caused goosebumps to form on her skin as she hung there clad only in her white lace panties, hands over her head, and the blindfold still over her eyes leaving only her sense of smell, sound, taste, and touch. And she knew for sure that he would play them to his will.

“Mmmm… Beautiful. Gorgeous.” She felt his long fingers caress her side as he made another round; those long fingers touching her breasts and pinching her nipples lightly.

She felt the moan as it escaped her chest just as she could feel his gaze, his lustful stare upon her as she heard him swish the switch through the air before he brought it hard against her ass. “I warned you.”

The sharpness striking her made the slight pain seem worse than it actually was as she arched away from him.

Drawing the stick across her ass again, she moaned slightly before jumping as he swiped it across her thigh.

“Ahhh.” She cried out. A deep chuckle filling her ears as he rounded her again.

“Focus darling.” He swiped it again causing her to flinch, “Don’t forget with me pet, that pain is pleasure. Remember.”

“Mmmhmm.”

He grasped her chin again, pulling her into a deep kiss, then leading his kiss from her mouth to her neck, to her chest, breasts, navel, and right to the edge of her panties before stopping. She could feel it again, his gaze looking up at her, as she heard him dragging the small stick around her again, swiping it in small areas here and there on the lower half of her body, and she jerking against each one. Her mind was in a bit of a blur, trying to figure what was what. And what he would do next.

She then heard him chuck the switch off to the side. “Enough of that.” He nipped at her neck again, his hands sliding down to the elastic band on her panties hooking with his finger-twisting the strap taut, pulling it into her skin. “You don’t need these.” With a swift tug, the elastic snapped. “You soaked these through, love.” She heard him inhale deeply. “Ummm, so sweet. I can’t wait to taste you.”

He pulled her close to his bare chest, she wanted to moan as she felt his length and thickness through his boxers, pressing against her abdomen. “Feel that?” he growled, as his lips nipped and sucked at her neck. His hands clasped around her hips, “That’s what you do to me, darling. My one and only. Just imagine what I could do with it...Think...how much you want it…need it. Your quim is throbbing right now to feel it slide inside. Isn’t it?”

“Ummmhmmm.”

Thomas slowly dragged his fingers from her taut nipples to her wet folds, as they tenderly teased her. “Hmm… It seems you are already thinking quite hard about it.” He then thrust two digits inside her, a loud moan escaped her lips as he moved them so intricately sending pulsing vibes through her body, as she felt her muscles involuntarily contract around his long fingers. “Oh, God! Thomas!”

“Mmm, darling, so wet, I wonder why?” He teased, she felt him grinning, wallowing in the emotions radiating off her, “Not quite wet enough though.”

She shivered then gasped as his fingers left her, suddenly his warm talented tongue took over where his fingers left and slowly moved down her neck, licking, tasting, then further down between her breasts and suddenly lifted off, then began to flick against her clit.

“Oh, God! Thomas!” She jerked as she moved against the restraints swinging a bit as his hands steadied her, one each on one of her thighs before in one quick movement parting her slick folds with his fingers pushing two in before moving his tongue instantly hitting her sweet spot.

“Aaahhh...Thom…Thomas.” Her whole body twitched under his control, as his tongue hit her sweet spot over and over, warm and gentle, yet ravishing.

She was so close, so close, and he knew it, his fingers began pumping into her as he pulled his mouth away gently blowing air onto her clit.

“Cum for me my pet. Give your release to me.” She felt him pull away the scarf and looked down to see him in a half-kneeling position as he grinned up darkly, “I want to see your face, your expression, Desai. Keep eye contact with me, and don’t you dare look away.”

All she could do was nod as her mouth slowly gaped open. She didn’t know how much more she could take, staring down at his devilish but beautiful half-lidded blue eyes that appeared almost green in the light. Did he know that they pierced her soul along with that somewhat twisted smirk he was wearing?

“Thomas...I don’t think...I...I can’t….” She couldn’t think straight, let alone speak as her climax began with a hard rush and the words she was trying to say became a jumble of incoherent moans.

He never let up, only staring, until finally, she couldn’t take anymore, crying out his name she felt the white-hot blinding climax spread until her entire body was shaking, she whimpered and cried as he pulled his fingers out, still grinning.

“I love you, darling,” he said as he slowly stood and unhooked her arms from the clip and the ropes that held her body up. “Are you, alright?”

“Oh, Thomas,” She gazed into his eyes as tears flowed down her face, “I love you, you devilish man. Only you could have gotten me through my fear of being …”

“Shhh, I’ll never hurt you, darling. Remember you can always use your safe word, and I’ll stop – no matter what.” He kissed her deeply as he draped her arms around his neck and she kissed him back.

As he pulled her arms over his head he murmured, “Don’t think we are done yet love. Take a breather, then it’s your turn.” He raised an eyebrow as he gently placed her on the sleeping bag, the cold material feeling wonderful to her heated body as he undid the cuffs and threw them over to the side. She watched as he crawled over to her then reached for the bottle of chocolate syrup, as he flipped open the top he grinned and placed it by her head within easy reach.

“Are you going to cover me with that?” she asked with a little smile.

“As wonderful as that sounds …” He smiled as he shook his head. “No. You get creative. You need this as much as I do.” He rolled over onto the large sleeping bag as once more his eyes met hers, “Take it as a free pass.” He sat back up again as she slowly lifted her shaking body up, “Though I’d like to force you to. You know how I love to be the dominant one.”

“Especially after the couple of weeks you’ve had. I understand, more than you know, Thomas. I love you, earendel.” They kissed again taking their time languid and slow as they broke the kiss she susurrated against his neck, “No need to force me to do anything. You already know that whatever you want I will do my best to please you,” she asserted.

There wasn’t anything holding her back, since the cuffs were gone. She wanted him, and everything under those boxers. She grinned at him just before she rolled over and pinned him beneath her. As she reached for the chocolate syrup he raised his head to suckle at her breast.

“No!” she ordered, “Not yet,” as she playfully slapped him and pointed a finger. “Little Tommy, has to wait for feeding time, but first Naughty Nanny, is going to get her fill of him.” She felt him chuckle beneath her then she began to grind against him. “I want – no I need – you planted so deep inside me you’ll never want to leave.”

“That’s already happened, love,” he murmured with a smile.

Leaning forward she kissed him deeply, then dragged an open mouth kiss over his cheekbone and down under his sharp jawline, his breath releasing hot against her ear in a moan. Pushing herself forward she nipped at his earlobe, then using her tongue she outlined the shell of his ear as his fingers pressed harder on the sides of her back, another deep breath escaping him in a moan.

“Oh, how I love you,” she whispered. Grabbing the chocolate, she squeezed and let a huge glob land on his collarbone. She stared into his eyes, dove down, and began to lick and slurp the chocolate, her fingers tangled and busy with the glorious curls his hair offered.

She moved to the side of him trailing another trickle of the syrup down from each of his nipples to his navel filling it to overflowing smiling at him as she began to drink, suck, and lick it from his belly button up and all the way to his neck and ears; the mixture of chocolate and the saltiness of his skin was more than exciting, her body fairly vibrated with the want to pleasure him. “May I have what I really want, sir?” she asked in her most seductive voice.

Only a smirk curved across his face and a small ‘ehehehe’ sounded as her eyes met his leaning forward again she began to rub his engorged member before ever so slowly rolling the band of fabric out of the way allowing his hardened cock to spring from its confinement.

“I’m all yours pet,” he stated with a low voice kicking his underwear off, “Do your worst.”

Desai arched a brow. “Challenge accepted.”

She took the chocolate and dribbled it down his treasure trail, around his pubic area and erect cock making sure it was covered like a chocolate sundae, she maneuvered herself between his legs. Grasping the base of his cock she shot forward smearing the chocolate over his tight sac then leaning down she licked them, sucking gently then licking his perineum, smiling as he raised his hips and expressed a moan. She made sure to lick each of his balls tenderly feeling them move and tighten against him and her tongue. She licked him from the base to the tip making sure to lick the slit swirling her tongue around it and in it. She then placed a hand at his base as she began to take him in her mouth as deep as she could, cleaning the chocolate away as she kept sucking him deep inching downward with every little suck.

“Ahhh, ah, ahhh, ahh,” his spluttering breath hit her ears.

She grinned like a maniac on the inside as she speeded up her motions she sucked him hard and fast glancing up to see him looking at her before his eyes shut then reopened again.

“Oh...God …Darling…..You...you are amazing.” She could feel him involuntarily thrusting his own hips slightly to her rhythm as she began to hum sending vibrations through him. “I... Desai, you have to stop…. Oh, love, please,” he begged as he gently caressed her cheek, she pulled herself off of him with a satisfying wet ‘plop’. “If you don’t...I won’t last darling, I need you. To take you fully…..All fours, ass in the air. Now.” He demanded.

Desai smiled seductively at him and said, “Yes, sir.” She was still dripping from earlier which was even more apparent as she did what he told her. Her breasts touched the cold fabric just as she felt him rub his hardened cock against her slick opening.

“You drive me mad,” Tom murmured lowly before leaning over her, “Brace yourself pet,” as he guided himself to slowly enter her. She gasped for air as he slowly started to move holding his hands on top of hers before he began pounding into her, harder and harder as he gripped her hips slamming himself into her and at the same time pulling her back against him.

“Thomas….Oh God Thomas,” she cried out as he overwhelmed her as her body begged and loved every moment of it.

Still thrusting he leaned forward pulling backward, pushing her deeper onto his hard member, “I love it...when you cry out my name….Makes me want to tear your pussy up even more.” He then made a circling motion and raised her up with her back against his chest as he bit down onto her shoulder, making her cry out even louder. “You are so wet, and oh, so tight, love. I wouldn’t...mmm...have you any other way.” Thomas gently yanked her head back by her short curly hair exposing her neck, “So amazing.” She felt his words as he licked the nape of her neck then up to behind her earlobe. Then he bit down.

“Thomas!” She cried out as her body twitched and shivered. “No!” she cried as he pulled out, but before she could say anything else he twisted her around and not so gently placed her on her back, thrusting hard back into her once more, slowing his thrusts he took his time to make sure he hit all the sweet spots.

“Oh, Desai you feel so good,” he said as he took another long slow thrust. “You are so tight. God, you feel amazing, my love.” He wove his fingers into her hair. “I love you. Please, never leave me.”

“Earendel, I love you, I’ll never leave you,” she breathed as she met his thrusts. “Don’t stop. Thomas, oh please I’m so close again,” she moaned his name, “Thomas, yes, oh God yes!”

Sweat began rolling off of his brow trickling onto her and down his toned chest getting lost in the little bit of chest hair he had as he picked up speed. The once cool night air made her wish it were a bit cooler with the heat, sweat, and sticky chocolate accumulating between them. His pupils were dilated, and she was certain hers were too, and his blue eye color was barely visible.

“Thomas...I can’t last any longer…” She cried out as he began thrusting so hard that his pubic bone hit her clit with every thrust causing her to quite literally see stars behind her eyelids, as her body was thrown into an ecstatic muddle.

She felt his cock begin to twitch as she heard him begin to whimper, “I’m...I’m nearly there...darling… please...Oh, God. Ahhh, oohhhh, fuuuucccckkkk … ummmmmmm.”

After his stream of incoherent words, she felt him lift her up and thrust hard hitting her clit and sending them both onto and over the edge as they came together crying out for each other. Desai wept with unabashed fulfillment as Thomas slowly collapsed on top of her careful not to crush her under his body weight.

“Desai? Did I hurt you?” he asked as he wiped errant strands of hair from her face.

She shook her head as the tears continued to flow down her face, she was so sated that she couldn’t speak.

“You’re sure?” he asked.

She nodded, smiled, and sighed as the night air sent chills across her heated body. She smiled again as Thomas rolled toward her to give her a gentle and tender kiss. “I love you, Desai Olivia Alexander and I cannot wait until we are married.” He grinned mischievously as he said, “Darling, I must say. That. Was. Mind. Blowing. Thank you, love.”

She nodded in agreement, “Very much so, Thomas and you’re welcome. So how did you find out or figure out how to do all of this?”

“Eheheheh,” Tom chuckled, “I have connections.” He looked around at the slight mess in the yard. “I should probably get this cleaned up, it will be morning before we know it.”

“But it’s not even near that time,” she whimpered rubbing her hand slowly over his biceps and down his torso, “Do you really want to clean up now?”

“I see,” he growled lowly as he rolled over in the sleeping bag, encasing both of them in complete darkness, “I see exactly what you want… and I think….” His hand reached from under the cover finding the syrup bottle, “I’ll be needing this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the most part, this was fun, however, it is necessary to get Desai over her traumatic abduction, she and Tom worked together to get her over another fear.


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sex, wedding, honeymoon.

**September**

Six months after Desai's kidnapping their wedding day was upon them. And they were back in Georgia. True to his word Thomas had arranged everything. There were yellow roses of all shades entwined with white orchids and ivy on the arch, end chairs, and the candelabras. The ballroom had never looked so beautiful. The chandeliers sparkled like diamonds in the evening light.

Thomas had spent the night with Chris and his family in the big guest house. It was torture for the both of them, to be so close and yet so far from each other. Thomas had been so sweet when he kissed her goodbye that night just before midnight in their bedroom. Standing he looked down at her with eyes shining, and whispered, "I love you, Desai. I cannot wait until you are my wife. And take naps tomorrow. Please." He hugged her as if she were leaving.

"I love you, Thomas, and I cannot wait until you are my husband. I will see you tomorrow evening. Rest well, my love."

Thomas had begun texting her that morning and had not stopped since, he wanted to make sure she was alright and for their wedding to be as traditional as possible (bride and groom not seeing each other before the ceremony). Thomas had asked his best friend Joey to be his best man, while Luke, Chris, and Liam Hemsworth, and Benedict Cumberbatch were the groomsmen; all dressed in white tie and tails.

Sarah and Emma being the bridesmaids dressed in a shade of blue that was almost white. Dana was the Maid of honor, Elsa was the Matron of Honor, and Diana, well ...was Diana, she looked regal in her pale-yellow gown with her white orchid corsage. James looked wonderful in his matching tails and his white orchid boutonniere. The boutonnieres for the groomsmen were three small yellow tea rose buds with sprigs of ivy, with Thomas's being a single yellow rose with a sprig of ivy. The bridesmaid's bouquets were of the palest yellow roses, cascading orchids, and ivy.

Desai stood looking out the bedroom window thinking back to the night she had met Thomas and his family.

_I think I knew then that he was the one for me and I the one for him._

She smiled because of how they had connected immediately and over the eight and a half days she was in the hospital they had become friends. She loved him with every cell in her body and had no doubts about their marriage she only wanted the ceremony to be over and them on their way to Italy. They were going to spend a glorious two weeks at the property, he now owned (but didn't know it yet) in Italy. His wedding gift from Desai was the deed and title to the estate in Milan.

Dana's soft knock on the door took her from those images and back to reality. "Dana, I'm so glad you're here to help me."

"You're not going to cry, are you? Because if you start I will, and we'll never get out of here."

"No, I'm not going to cry. I think I'm too nervous to cry. Or too happy. I love him so much, Dana. He's more than I ever hoped for and all I'll ever want or need." She sighed, "I hope you find someone that loves you the way he loves me." She hugged her friend, "She's out there. I believe that."

"I hope so, I could use some true love in my life," Dana said as she helped her into the dress, and jewelry as the hairdresser came in and did Desai's hair.

The makeup artist smiled as she told her, "I wish everyone was as easy to do as you."

She smiled at both of them as they left to go to their seats. Desai looked at herself in the full-length mirror and still couldn't believe it was her.

Her hair wasn't near long enough to cover the scars on her back, but she wasn't really worried. Her hair grew so fast that it was already a little over six inches long, the piece of metal in her head was at least good for that.

She had a good tan and besides, Thomas had told her that scars were badges of courage. _"My love, scars are the proof you're stronger than what tried to hurt you, darling. Don't be ashamed of them."_

The veil sparkled, and the tiara went well with the color of the dress. Turning she picked up then pulled on the gloves and picked up her bouquet of yellow and pale yellow roses, white orchids, stephanotis, ivy, and willow.

She wondered what Thomas would think about the poetry she was going to recite; she had spoken to the pastor and told him that before he started she had something she wanted to say to Thomas. She nibbled on her lip in the hopes that he liked it.

As Desai exited the bedroom, Dana smiled and said, "Tom, is a very lucky man, Desai. You look like a goddess."

Desai blushed, "Thank you, but I feel as if I am the lucky one I am marrying a god," she said with a giggle.

Dana walked with her as she made her way down the stairs, just before they entered the ballroom she took the time to straighten her veil and gave Desai a light kiss. "You look like a goddess, Desai, really you do."

Sarah and Emma couldn't stop smiling and gave her kisses as well.

The photographers had been busy all day with behind-the-scenes pictures and now with all the ladies dressed and ready, there were pictures on the stairs and other poses.

"You guys go on. I'm right behind you." Desai smiled broadly at them as the doors were opened and they stepped through. When the wedding march began she took a deep and steadying breath and began to step forward.

Her eyes met Thomas's and never left his as she walked down the aisle.

_I couldn't tell you if there was anyone else in the room. All I saw was my beloved, my one, and only._

"I have a few words to say to my one and only before our vows are spoken, please bear with me." She began as she gazed into Thomas's eyes steadily;

_"'I Carry Your Heart With Me' by e.e. cummings_

_"'I carry your heart with me (I carry it in  
my heart) I am never without it (anywhere  
I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done  
by only me is your doing, my darling)   
I fear  
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) I want  
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)   
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant  
and whatever a sun will always sing is you_

_here is the deepest secret nobody knows  
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud  
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows  
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)   
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart_

_I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)'"_

Everyone heard Diana's snort as Desai finished. Thomas's gaze never wavered as he smiled at her.

"It would appear we had the same idea, my love," Thomas said as he smiled and began to recite, "This poem is by an unknown author." His eyes shone with unshed tears as he began,

_"'I can't promise you  
that dark clouds  
will never hover  
over our lives  
or that the future  
will bring us any rainbows.  
I can't promise you  
that tomorrow  
will be perfect  
or that life will be easy.  
I can promise you  
my everlasting devotion,   
my loyalty, my respect,   
and my unconditional love for a lifetime.  
I can promise that  
I'll always be here for you,   
to listen and to hold your hand,   
and I'll always do my best to make you happy,   
and make you feel loved.  
I can promise that  
I'll see you through any crisis,   
and pray with you,   
dream with you,   
build with you,   
and always cheer you on.  
I can promise that  
I'll willingly be your protector,   
your advisor, your counselor,   
your friend, your family,   
your everything.  
I promise you.'"_

Tears flowed freely from Desai's eyes and from Thomas's as well as they joined hands, eyes still locked on each other as the pastor started, "Dearly beloved we are gathered here today to celebrate the marriage of Thomas and Desai as they publicly announce to friends, and family, their love for each other." He first looked at Thomas, but Thomas's gaze never wavered from Desai's as the pastor said, lowly, to Thomas, "Have you memorized your vows?"

Without looking away from Desai there was a barely perceptible nod as Thomas began, " _I, Thomas William Hiddleston, in the name of the spirit of God that resides within us all, by the life that courses within my blood and the love that resides within my heart, take thee Desai Olivia Alexander to my hand, my heart, and my spirit, to be my chosen one. **My only one**. To desire thee and be desired by thee, to possess thee, and be possessed by thee, without sin or shame, for naught can exist in the purity of my love for thee. I promise to love thee wholly and completely without restraint, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in poverty, in life and beyond, where we shall meet, remember, and love again. I shall not seek to change thee in any way. I shall respect thee, thy beliefs, thy people, and thy ways as I respect myself."_

The pastor looked at Desai she nodded, and began, " _I, Desai Olivia Alexander, in the name of the spirit of God that resides within us all, by the life that courses within my blood, and the love that resides within my heart, take thee, Thomas William Hiddleston, to my hand, my heart, and my spirit to be my chosen one. **My only one**. To desire and be desired by thee, to possess thee, and be possessed by thee, without sin or shame, for naught can exist in the purity of my love for thee. I promise to love thee wholly and completely without restraint, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in poverty, in life and beyond, where we shall meet, remember, and love again. I shall not seek to change thee in any way. I shall respect thee, thy beliefs, thy people, and thy ways as I respect myself."_

"The rings please," the pastor announced.

Dana came into Desai's peripheral vision and she took the ring from her hand. Joey gave Thomas the ring he had chosen. As they had practiced the night before they held the rings out to the pastor for blessing and then held them in front of their chests.

Thomas began, his voice thick with emotion, as he spoke.

_"'I take you my heart  
At the rising of the moon  
And the setting of the stars.  
To love and to honor  
Through all that may come.  
Through all our lives together  
In all our lives,  
May we be reborn  
That we may meet and know  
And love again,  
And remember'. With this ring I thee wed."_ She held her hand out as he slid the intricate ring onto her finger and she smiled at him and mouthed 'I love you' before she spoke,

"' _I take you my heart  
At the rising of the moon  
And the setting of the stars.  
To love and to honor  
Through all that may come.  
Through all our lives together  
In all our lives,  
May we be reborn  
That we may meet and know  
And love again,  
And remember' With this ring, I thee wed."_

The pastor smiled broadly and stated, "If there be any objections as to why this man and this woman should not be lawfully joined in Holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace."

Desai was so terrified at that moment she shivered – she just knew Diana would stand up and scream, _'Tom! Don't marry that minge!'_ but there was only silence as the ceremony continued.

"By the power invested in me and the honorable state of Georgia and God; I now pronounce you husband and..." Before he could get the word wife out Thomas had her in his arms and was kissing her as if he were a starving man and she was the feast.

Suddenly there were cheers and whoops from the crowd and she heard Joey laugh and Chris say, "Good God, brother you're going to suffocate her!"

Then Benedict spoke up, "Save some of that for the honeymoon, you rogue."

They parted with breathless smiles that quickly turned into laughter as the pastor said, "Well you have already kissed the bride, may I announce you to the guests?" They smiled at him and nodded. "Honored guests, I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Thomas William Hiddleston."

There was a glitch, as sometimes happens, with the caterer so they decided to get some photographs and dancing in before the reception.

Their first dance was to the song _My One and Only Love_ written by Guy B. Wood and Robert Mellin:

_The very thought of you makes My heart sing Like an April breeze On the wings of spring And you appear in all your splendor My one and only love The shadows fall And spread their mystic charms In the hush of night While you're in my arms I feel your lips so warm and tender My one and only love The touch of your hand is like heaven A heaven that I've never known The blush on your cheek Whenever I speak Tells me that you are my own You fill my eager heart with Such desire Every kiss you give Sets my soul on fire I give myself in sweet surrender My one and only love The blush on your cheek Whenever I speak Tells me that you are my own You fill my eager heart with Such desire Every kiss you give Sets my soul on fire I give myself in sweet surrender My one and only love My one and only love._

Tom held her close his forehead against hers as they danced, looking into his eyes she saw forever. "I love you," he whispered as he kissed her earlobe.

She smiled at him, "I love you more than life itself, my one and only love." When the song ended they were still holding each other and swaying.

Joey was next, "I've never seen Pid this happy. Thank you."

"My pleasure. I love him, Joe." She wondered if all of Thomas's friends knew how to dance as well. Was it something that was taught at Eton or at Cambridge?

Chris invaded their space, "May I have this dance?" he asked with a huge grin.

Thomas came up, kissed her then gave Chris the order, "Don't step on her toes," he warned.

"You do realize brother that I was on _Dancing with the Stars_?"

"That in no way means you know how," Thomas quipped back.

Desai's giggle brought them out of their barbs against each other and the dance began. They waltzed to, Friends _are Quiet Angels – The Friendship Song_ written by G. Sklerov.

"I wish to thank you, Desai, for making my brother the happiest man on this Earth. And for giving me another sister to cherish, love, and protect."

Until that moment she had not realized that Chris was almost the same height as Thomas, just a bit taller, as she looked up into his eyes, and said, "I've gained my family back because of Thomas and I love you, Elsa and the children as well as those two other brothers whom are now mine. I am truly the happiest woman in the entire universe. Thank you, Chris, for loving Thomas and for standing beside him during his time of ... well when I was ...gone and his mum ..." she swallowed as tears gathered in her eyes.

"Hey now, none of that." He leaned in closer and whispered, "If she cannot see that the two of you love each other then it's on her, Dee."

Then it was her and Liam's turn as they danced and talked as _All These Things I've Done_ by The Killers played,

"Daughter, may I have this dance?" James asked as the song finished bringing her out of her thoughts.

Desai couldn't help but weep when he called her his daughter. "Yes, Da'," she said thickly as _Thank You_ , Written by Josh Rob Gwilliam, Sherry Crawford, Dana Blayone began.

She noticed that Thomas was dancing with his mother, she was still being cross toward Desai. _I loved her dearly, but what can I do?_ She wondered.

"I do thank you, Desai you've made me so very happy for my son, and I believe in time Diana will be as well. I only hope she doesn't let her pride get in the way."

"I love you, James and thank you for helping to raise a wonderful child who has grown into a wonderful, kind and loving man. And thank you also for allowing us to stay with you for those couple of weeks as I healed up. That was so very kind of you to open your home to us." He only nodded as tears streamed down his face. "He's my son and I have another daughter, you're family, Desai, and I love you like my own."

After the song finished she danced with Luke to _Everything Happens for a Reason_. Then Benedict whispered close to her ear, "Do you have enough energy to dance with me?"

She smiled at him, "I do my friend. What song have you chosen?" She laughed as _Don't You (Forget About Me)_ began and they got the party started.Desai hiked up her dress and let go. Thomas had showed her some dance moves and she was enjoying herself.

The band was wonderful and played many requests most of the songs were from the 80s and 90s. Thomas walked up behind her and she felt him before he touched her. She turned stepping into his arms. "I love you, Thomas."

"I love you, Desai." He leaned in close, "when can we get out of here and onto the plane?"

"We still have to cut the cake and have supper, love."

He gave her a smirk that looked just like Loki, "I only want to eat you my pet."

_Damn, he's hot! And he is mine!_

When the caterer stepped over and told them that the food was ready they nodded. "Announce it please." She gazed back at Thomas, "C'mon, it's time for us to cut the cake."

***

"I can carry my own bag, Thomas!"

"But—"

"I can carry my own fricking bag, ok? It's not even that heavy."

"But the doctor said—"

"I know what the doctor said, it's not over fifteen pounds and it's my bag, and I am more than capable of carrying it." Desai groaned and shook her head as she walked on, lifting the bag from the backseat of the car and marching forward. She didn't turn back or wait for Thomas. She strode on, it being a matter of pride now, letting the bag swing from side to side on her shoulder.

After a moment, he caught up with her. "Darling, I'm sorry," he began, taking Desai's hand and lifting it up to his lips, planting a small kiss on it. "I'm just worried."

She sighed, then turning she looked at him. "I know," she said, rolling her eyes. "But there's no need to worry," she assured him.

"I know, but... I still worry."

"Would it make you feel better if I let you carry my oh-so-heavy handbag? I do have the incredibly big water bottle and the camera, wow, I can barely lift it..." she teased him, grinning. He was excellent at worrying when there was no need.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, it would!" he said, giving her a fake glare.

"Don't make fun of me."

"I'm not darling. I know you're all healed up, but the doctor said no heavy lifting."

With that, she shrugged the bag off her shoulder and handed it to him, then started walking again.

He watched as a small breeze blew her curly hair into a mess, and lifted the hem of her skirt a bit, showing off her long tanned, and toned legs, but she didn't seem to care now. They were happier than they had probably ever been.

She turned to look at Thomas, smiling brightly. "Happy honeymoon, earendel," she said, standing on her toes to reach his lips and giving him a loving kiss.

"Happy honeymoon, darling. Hope it'll be as memorable as our flight here," he replied, giving Desai a wink as they made their way into the villa.

She blushed to the roots of her hair as his words made her feel the heat she had earlier ... she supposed they could now officially join the Mile-High-Club. 

Again. 

She sighed as she relived their flight.

Good thing it was on a private plane.

**Five hours earlier**

_"Restroom?" His voice was low and raspy, dripping with desire._

_"Quickie?" My voice was barely a whisper and shaking with excitement._

_"Who said it's going to be quick?"_

_My eyes widened at him and I could only nod and smile nervously in agreement. There was no time to question the decision, a fire already burned in my core. The thrill was too much._

_Carefully so I wouldn't wake up the attendant, we got up and Thomas pulled the blanket off, folding it neatly before placing it back on his seat. Then he took the lead, taking my hand in his as he guided me past the row of seats and into the restroom._

_Our combined heartbeats and hot breaths filled up the space._

_My eyes didn't even have the chance to adjust to the sudden bright light because the moment the door shut, Thomas had me pinned to the wall beside the sink. He wasted no time trailing wet kisses from my mouth to my jaw then to my neck, his body pressed up against me leaving me no room to move. I swallowed hard when I felt the growing hardness in his jeans._

_With a squeeze on my thigh, he whispered, lips almost brushing my ear. "If you make a sound, I'll stop." The suddenly gentle but firm tone of his voice didn't match his words. "Understood?"_

_Thomas's fiery gaze and teasing smirk met mine, and I bit my lip and gave him the best nod I could muster when I was already trembling with want._

_Within seconds he reminded me again that shutting up is the hardest thing I will ever have to do._

_The way Thomas's hands skimmed the skin of my thighs as he slid down my underwear making me forever grateful that I was a woman and that I was wearing a skirt. He kissed me deep and slow as if all we had was time. He made me bite the hem of my top while he played with both of my nipples. There was no way I could keep my hands to myself anymore when his mouth moved down to my neck and breasts. He pulled my top off and gently placed it by the sink. I grabbed his belt loops, making him look up at me and grin while he suckled._

_"Easy, pet, I'm not done with you," he chuckled softly. His hand pushed my skirt out of the way then made its way between my legs. I clapped a hand over my mouth to stifle the groan that almost made its way out. I was slicker than an oil spill which made Thomas grin that devilish evil way he does when he knows that it's him that makes me so hot and wet._

_Painstakingly slow, he rubbed my clit in small circles, making simply standing up a challenge. I threw my head back in pleasure allowing him to attack my neck again. Once again I bit back a moan. One finger in, then two, then he upped the rhythm._

_His mouth continued moving down, leaving a line of love bites all the way to my mons. Driving me crazy was Thomas's expertise and he knew it._

_The bastard._

_He made it harder for me to breathe – his tongue replaced those wonderful fingers. There was a moment when I forget where I was and then it was only me and the electricity pulsing through my veins that mattered._

_He knew all my weak spots, every slope and curve of my body, which buttons to push to drive me over the edge. And that he did, with a few more flicks of his tongue. I shuddered against the wall and tried to hold myself steady as I gripped his shoulders._

_I lost control over my reactions and I let out a soft whimper. Thomas abruptly stopped. "What did I just hear?" Suddenly he was towering over me, pressing me against the wall, licking his lips and staring at me with lust-filled eyes. "What did I tell you?" I closed my eyes, looked down, and shook my head._

_"Look at me," his voice was oddly calm. He tilted my chin up and kissed me again._

_"You've been a bad girl." My insides stirred instantly with anticipation, and I couldn't help but bite back a grin even though I knew I should be begging Thomas to continue what he was doing._

_"On your knees," He breathes in my ear, but the only sound I heard was the pounding of my heart and the sound of a belt being undone. I did as I was told, dropping to my knees in a heartbeat. From tip to sides to shaft, he let me lick at my own pace, guiding my mouth where to go. I heard his breathing hitch as my tongue hit his shaft. Then I moved up again, concentrating on his leaking tip._

_"Fuck, you're so good," He uttered between heavy breaths, fingers tangled in my hair. I flashed him a teasing smile. Unable to take it any longer, he slid into my mouth until the tip of his cock hit the back of my throat._

_"Let me know if it's too much, ok?" I squeezed his thigh in response. He started thrusting, holding on to my shoulders for balance. It seemed like he was trying really hard not to make too much noise. I looked up to see him all caught up in ecstasy, jaw slightly hanging open with a hazy look in his eyes. Hungry for contact, I found my fingers making their way between my legs trying to rekindle the fire Thomas started earlier._

_Only for my hand to be pushed away._

_"Not until I tell you to, my pet," he chuckled, looked down at me then helped me up. He supported himself with a hand against the wall, he lifted up my left leg with the other, "Jump up," he requested lowly. I did as he requested as I wrapped my legs around his waist. "So wet for me, darling," he murmured then pushed his rigid cock in me moving deliberately slow. Thomas loved making sure I felt every single glorious inch of him. Every thrust, every roll of his hips, a taste of heaven._

_He continued kissing me to silence my moans, but I didn't know how long it would be effective. Even he couldn't take it any longer. He pulled away from my kiss and inhaled sharply, the hand he was using to hold on to the wall moving to grip the back of my neck. His pace picked up little by little, and I had to steady myself on his shoulders, because his chest was not enough to hold on to anymore. Pushing me against the wall, using it as leverage I thrust my hips to meet his._

_Thomas's thrusts became more intense, the rotation of his hips made me blackout. He went increasingly harder, faster, then suddenly, nothing._

_I hung there confused, barely breathing, frowning, and blinking in response._

_Without warning, he took me again, so hard he knocked me out of my senses; I forgot I was in a tiny bathroom thousands of feet above the ground. I groaned, but the sound came out strangled because one of Thomas's large hand is pressed over my mouth. This time, he doesn't care about the sounds I'm making. He's too lost in his own bliss to tease me any longer with being dominant, his thrusts grow more and more frantic as he chased his own release. My soft, restrained moans send him to his limit._

_With a shudder and a moan too loud for a secret getaway, Thomas spills his seed, almost collapsing on top of me._

_Neither of us could speak, we were all labored breathing, trembling bodies, unable to move from our spot. Thomas tucked his face in the crook of my neck, and I found it fascinating how soft and helpless he looked now despite being the demanding dom just a few minutes earlier._

_"So, when are you planning to pull out?" I whispered into his shoulder. He burst into quiet laughter, his warm breath sent shivers down my spine. I stifled another moan when he does._

_"Thomas, that was -" He didn't let me finish, as he caught my lips in a kiss._

_"It was," Thomas whispered and smiled in between kisses. I felt a warmth wash over me, and I didn't want the moment to be over. "I think we were a bit too loud."_

_"Well, you make it hard to stay silent."_

_"That's part of my job as a husband, wife of mine."_

**Last Night in Milan**

When Thomas had disappeared around four pm saying that he wanted to do some shopping and told her to rest, she knew he was up to something but truth was she was a bit tired so she decided to take a Siesta on the large sofa. She had heard him come in and go into the master bedroom on the main floor.

She heard faint music and followed it; _Can't Take My Eyes Off You_ by Frankie Vali and The Four Seasons was playing softly. And she began to hum along.

He'd outdone himself this time. She walked into the hallway to tea lights and fire and ice rose petals strewn across the floor.

"Thomas?" Her summons didn't get a response so she tried to make him laugh, knowing she could zero in on his location that way. "Did you know sometimes rose petals will stain if they get stepped on?"

There.

"Eheheheh." The laughter had echoed out of the bathroom. "Then don't step on them."

The path of rose petals didn't lead to the bed, or she would have added a comment about that too. The path led her in the direction she had already started walking – the bathroom. _What did he have up his sleeve?_

She stopped in the doorway and found Tom in a white robe standing next to a rose rimmed bubble bath. She giggled, "I'm surprised I didn't find you in there..." as she began to sing,

"' _Trust in me when I say  
Oh, pretty baby  
Don't bring me down, I pray  
Oh, pretty baby  
Now that I've found you, stay  
And let me love you, baby  
Let me love you_

_You're just too good to be true  
Can't take my eyes off of you  
You'd be like Heaven to touch  
I wanna hold you so much,'_"

Tom's eyebrows rose, "Oh, love I'll be in there soon enough. Didn't want to turn into a prune while I waited for you, though. Wife."

"Husband, if you were one-hundred and eighty you wouldn't look like a prune," she said as he helped her into the tub, and she sank into the warm sandalwood scented water.

"Wife," he said as he slipped off the robe and slid in behind her. "I'll never get tired of calling you that." He took the large sponge and began to wash her back and arms then around to her front kissing her scars as he did.

She took the smaller sponge and washed her legs and feet. "Would you like for me to wash your feet?" she asked looking over her shoulder.

"If you'd like," he said as he began massaging her neck and shoulders. "I'm going to miss this place. I really like it here. I would love to come back next year for our anniversary," he murmured as he nuzzled her neck.

She laughed, "Which reminds me, darling ... I have yet to give you your wedding present."

"You've already given me more than I deserve, my love," he said while kissing her neck and shoulders.

"Maybe so, but there's something else I want to give you," she said as she gently massaged his muscled thighs and legs.

"You mean besides your heart, body, and soul?" he asked as he hugged her.

"Yes, besides all of those."

Thomas helped her out of the tub and began drying her off then slipped a fluffy robe around her as he kissed her tenderly. "I love you, my beautiful wife."

"I love you, my handsome husband."

As they sat next to each other on the bed Desai reached into her bag and withdrew a large stuffed manila envelope and passed it to Thomas smiling, "Here," as he looked at her questioningly. "What's this?" he asked as he took into his hand.

"Why don't you ... open it and find out for yourself," she said smiling again.

When he saw the legal documents, he frowned at her at first, "Just keep reading," she motioned with her fingers. She smiled as she watched his frown changed into a broad smile and then into pure unadulterated happiness as he leaped off the bed screaming, "Oh my god! Oh my god! OH. MY. GOD!" He jumped on the bed and then off then back on the bed making her feel as if she were on a trampoline. She began laughing as she watched the man she loved behave like a little boy with a new toy and it pleased her to no end.

Thomas ran his fingers through his hair as he gazed at Desai, "I had no idea you owned this place!"

"I don't." She pointed at him laughing. "You do!"

He flopped down on the bed on his stomach. "I can't believe you did this!" he exclaimed as he placed the papers on the bedside table then gathered Desai in his arms as he began to cry. "You have to be – no _you are_ the absolute sweetest woman in the entire universe! You give and give and give. I am so lucky!" he said as he began to kiss her leisurely. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love weddings!


	20. Chapter Twenty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some of this was difficult, you might want to get tissues. It made me cry.

**London**

Christmas was just around the corner, even though it was mid-November, Desai was out shopping and she knew exactly what she wanted – but had she waited too long to get one? How did one go about buying a _Steinway & Sons_ piano? She set her GPS for 44 Marylebone Lane and hoped they had what she had in mind.

Tom stretched and groaned then realized Desai was not in bed. Pulling on his boxers he padded quickly into the kitchen where he found a full pot of coffee and a note.

**_Earendel,_ **

**_You were sleeping so soundly I couldn’t wake you, my love. I know the rehearsals are kicking your glorious arse. I’ve gone out shopping._ **

**_I’ve already had my run, call me when you read this. I love you more than life itself._ **

**_XOXO_ **

**_Forever yours, Love always,_ **

**_Mrs. Tom Hiddleston (Desai Hiddleston)_ **

Tom grinned and grabbed his phone, as soon as she answered he said, “Hey you, I woke up to a cold bed.”

Desai laughed, “Liar, Bobby was in bed with you.”

“Not the same.”

“Oh, how well I know,” she paused, then they said in unison: “Where do you want to meet for breakfast?”

Desai laughed and said, “You tell me and I’ll meet you there.”

When she stepped inside her first destination her eyes went immediately to the baby grand at center stage and knew that was the one. It was the perfect size and almost matched his guitar. She instantly felt a presence beside her and was startled slightly.

“I didn’t mean to startle you, miss. Is there something I might help you with?”

Desai turned with a bright smile as she said, “Yes, as a matter of fact, you may. I want to buy this piano if possible. And I need discretion because I want this to be a surprise.”

The young man smiled and slightly bowed then said, “We can do that, miss …”

“Mrs. Hiddleston.” She looked back at the piano, “I do have a question …” she said as she looked back at the assistant, smiling as he raised a brow in question, “Does the guitar come with the piano?”

“If you would like for it to, then yes, of course, madam.”

She shook her head, “Please just call me Desai, I’m not quite ready to be called madam just yet.” She tapped her chin while she pictured which room for it to go into. “Would there be a way for someone to come to the house and designate the best room or place?” Before the assistant could answer she added, “Preferably when my husband is not at home and how close to Christmas can this be delivered and set up?”

“Madam, sorry, Mrs. Hiddleston, you have yet to ask about the price. A piano such as this … well, Mrs. Hiddleston, are you sure it’s … within your price range?” He looked at her as if she had walked in with dog shit on her shoes, and she didn’t like it. Not to mention his tone and her expression let him know it. “I know I might not look like I can afford something like this, but rest assured, sir, I have more than the means to purchase this. Don’t take that condescending tone with me. Now are you going to sell me this or not?” When he stood there mouth agape she moved around him and straight to the office in the back. “Oh, please, I have not got all damn day! And for your information, I didn’t have to come in, I could have had it shipped … from New York! I’m taking a wild guess but I think if I figured it up right that this,” she pointed to the piano, “costs between €122,000 and €150,000.”

She quickly made the arrangements for the delivery and the date, Christmas Eve. She called Luke and let him know so that while she and Thomas were at the theater, he could oversee the setup. Thomas trusted him, and so did she and since the wedding, Luke and she had become friends.

Satisfied with her purchase she tucked the bill of sale into the bottom of her handbag and off she went to meet with Thomas for breakfast at _The English Rose Café & Tea Shop._

He was seated when she first saw him but sensing her he stood and wrapped her in his arms. “I love you,” she said as she planted a swoon-worthy kiss on those wonderful lips of his.

“You’re happy and it’s not even ten o’clock yet.” He eyed her warily. “What have you been up to?”

“Thomas! I am always happy when I’m with you and I told you, shopping!” she said with a laugh.

“Did you get anything for me?” he asked as he kissed behind her ear and pulled her chair out for her to sit.

“Yes, and no I’m not telling you what it is.” Changing the subject she picked up the menu, “What can we get your mum?”

“You really want to go through the Christmas drama again with mum?” he asked as the waiter came over to get their order.

Desai smiled up at the waiter, “I would like a full English breakfast, eggs over medium, potatoes with a crunch to them and a double order of bacon, toast, butter, breakfast tea with cream and a scone with jam of any flavor. And a Pain au chocolat.”

Tom looked at her and gave his order. “I’ll have the same as my lovely wife. You are hungry. Is there something going on I should know about?” He gave a look to her abdomen.

She shook her head, “No, not yet.”

He grinned mischievously. “No reason why we can’t keep trying.”

Desai blushed and felt the flush of heat all over and the puddle of wetness in her panties. 

Tom laughed and then she asked again, “What are we getting your mum?”

“I had thought about setting her up for a trip to the villa in Milan … with your help of course.”

“Of course, earendel. How long do you think she can stand to be pampered? A month? Do you think she would rather go to Tuscany or both?”

“Oh, both, definitely. Now that’s out of the way,” he began as their tea, scones, and Pain au chocolat arrived, “we need a small gift for her.”

“Something unique, and I think I know just the thing.” She took out her phone and found a picture of a handmade clock that was small enough to sit on her mantel. “Husband, what about this?”

Just as Tom was about to answer some women rushed over and surrounded him, literally pushing Desai out of the way and almost out of her chair as they began taking pictures and begging for autographs. She quietly went over to the manager and asked for a more discreet table. The manager apologized and did as she asked and had the waiter gather her things and moved them.

Once Tom was finished with his fans he looked around for Desai then spotted her standing close to a table that was out of the way and barely visible. “Oh, love are you alright?”

“Yes, sweetheart I’m fine. It's okay, I understand. I know how some of your fans can get.”

He drew her to him and kissed her. “I love you, you wonderful woman!”

“And I am glad you do because I love you with all my heart.”

After breakfast, Tom drove them to _Harrods_ ’s as Desai had requested. As they held hands he watched Desai hoping that she would give him a clue as to what she would want for Christmas. “Surprise me, earendel. Whatever you get me I will adore,” she said looking over her shoulder at him. “Please do keep in mind that I have a boot fetish, nothing too outlandish, but I do love thigh-highs.”

“You are much too perceptive for your own good you know that don’t you?”

She chuckled, “It comes in handy around you.” She bumped his shoulder with hers with a slight laugh, “Because you a sneaky boy…and I pray you never lose that. I love you, but I really like that little boy that is full of mischief and fun. Don’t let him grow up, keep him under wraps. Please.”

He felt the tears behind his eyelids, “You get me. You got me. And I will never be a complete adult. Count on that. I want our children to know what having fun is like.” He touched her cheek, “And I want a little girl who looks just like you.”

“I think we can work on that as soon as we get finished here.” She looked at _Louis Vuitton_ luggage. “Since we’re sending your mom on a retreat of sorts, why not get her new luggage? And a few outfits to go in it?”

“Woman you are too much!” The way his mother treated Desai was enough to almost make him never want to be around her especially if Desai was with him.

“We’ll go halfers on it that way she can’t say she doesn’t like it because it came from you too,” she said as she ran her fingers over the large rolling suitcase.

By the time they left Tom felt as if he should own a partnership in Harrods Department Store. He never knew how serious Desai could get when it came to shopping! She was a shopping goddess! And this was only about half of what she had bought! The rest would be delivered tomorrow.

There were so many bags that there wasn’t enough room in the car for them all so he hailed a cab and made home with the rest while she followed in her car. Before she pulled out into traffic she called and placed an order with _J Pizzeria e Cucina Italiana_ , she was too tired to cook and she knew Thomas was too. This way no worries no fuss, and quality time with the love of her life.

She called Thomas.

“Hey, babe,” he answered.

“I ordered supper from J’s. It should get there just after you do. I love you.”

“You and I had the same idea, love. I hope I didn’t order the same thing!” he laughed. “I love you too, darling!”

“I ordered lasagne al forno, a calzone three, olives, I love their olives, and Milanese di pollo with linguine pomodoro.”

“No, we didn’t order the same thing. There’s enough for a party! Should I invite Emma and Sarah over?”

“Sure! We can keep it all warm in the oven right?”

“I’ve done it before, love. See you soon, I love you, wife of mine!”

“I love you, husband true!” She clicked out, rather than say goodbye. It was a word she hated now.

She stopped in at the local market and got lots of tape and several rolls of wrapping paper. “Oh, why the hell not?” she muttered as she gathered the entire box and put it in the cart, along with bags and tissue paper.

When she got home, the food had just arrived as well as her new sisters. Desai nodded as she thought, _good, the guys can unload the car. I’m pooped._ She gathered Emma and Sarah into her arms and got a group hug, “I’ve missed you guys!” She looked down as she felt a tug on her tee-shirt, “Aunt Deeeeeeeee!”

“Well, hello there,” she said as she squatted down so that she was on the child’s level. “How have you been?” she asked with a grin.

“I’ve been good.” Then she became serious and said, “Why does Nana Di say you’re a whore?”

Gasps were sounded and as Sarah was about to scold the child Desai stayed her with a slight shake of her head as she did her best to keep her tears at bay as she answered, “I don’t know precious.” She hugged the child and stood. “Excuse me for a minute, baby girl.”

Tom made a grab for her, and she dodged him, but he followed her into their bedroom and quietly shut the door. “Desai,” he began but then saw she was on the phone.

“Diana, I know you hate me, I cannot help how you feel about me. But to allow a child to hear what you say about me!? Did you tell her I was a whore!? Because _she_ asked me why you call me a whore. How could I possibly answer that?! I don’t understand. I want to talk with you. I need to talk with you. Just me and you … in public…anywhere. Please, Diana, I’ve had enough of this.” She sat heavily on the bed as silent tears began streaming.

Tom knelt in front of her wedging himself between her knees so that he could hug her tightly. “I’m so sorry, love. I have no idea why mum is so cruel to you.”

“Invite her over, Thomas. This shit has got to end. I cannot stand it anymore,” she muttered through her tears. “I just can’t handle it anymore.” They both looked up when there was a knock on the door.

Tom got up and opened the door and there stood his mother. “Mum,” he said tightly.

“That was fast,” Desai muttered as she watched Diana.

She pushed past him and sat down on the bed beside Desai, they stared at each other for a moment and Tom wondered what was going to happen next. Then his mother began to speak. “You were right about Andrew’s family, Desai. I’m sorry I’ve treated you like you were trash and all you have ever done is love my son and my family. Please, Desai, forgive me. I was wrong, and I can do nothing to take what I’ve said back, but be guaranteed I will never say them again.” She hung her head and whispered, “I’m so sorry.”

Desai sat in shock for a moment. _Was this for real?_ She blurted, “Who the hell are you and what have you done with Diana?”

Diana smiled, “It’s a shock – I know. It was for me too. I have been enlightened, Loves.” She shrugged with a laugh. “I hired a private detective to investigate you.”

“You what?!” Tom screamed angrily from the door.

Diana glared at him, “Don’t go there, Tom. You have hired guards to make sure no one hurts her.” She raised a brow at his shocked expression, “What you didn’t think I knew?” She nodded toward Desai. “Bet she didn’t. Did you, love?”

She slowly raised herself from her seated position as she began shakily, “Do they report to you on what I do? Where I go? Who I’m with?” Desai asked lowly aiming it at her husband. _Why? Why now? Did he not trust her?_ “Do you not trust me?!” she asked in a hurt tone as unbidden tears began in a rush.

“Desai, it’s not like that. Please understand, darling,” he said as he moved closer to his wife who was now standing staring at him like she didn’t know who he was. “When Travis took you … I thought I would never see you again,” he gulped as he cried. “Please, they are there only for your protection, darling. They are not spying on you, love.” He shook his head as his tears flowed, “I trust you, Desai with everything I have … everything I am … with my heart … darling I am yours and you are mine, but I never intended for you to think that you were being spied upon.” He opened his arms in surrender, “Please Desai, I love you. I need you.”

“He does you know, Desai. Tom loves you,” Diana said. “And I know you love him. He was only thinking about your safety, not who you talked to or where you were going.”

Desai looked from one to the other then asked, “Why, Thomas! … Why didn’t you just tell me!?”

“I wanted you to feel like you did before Travis fucked it all up! I wanted you to feel free! Unworried! But I needed to know that you were safe and that nothing – no – _no one_ would ever do to you what he did again,” he said as he knelt before her and wrapped his arms around her waist, murmuring, “I love you and I am sorry I hurt you. I never meant to do that, oh love please believe me! Forgive me! Please!” he said as he looked up at her.

Her green eyes met blue and she saw more than love, it was as if she could see the future, their future; children running, children’s laughter, golden curls flying in the wind as they ran with their father. “Stand up,” she commanded softly. When he was face-to-face with her she said, “I love you, Thomas William Hiddleston. I always have and I always will. I forgive you, earendel.” She caressed his face as she said, “Thank you for so many things but mostly for loving me enough to always _want and need_ to take care of me. I’ve been many things,” she caressed his face, “But until you … loved was never one of them.” She hugged him as she whispered, “Se agapó sto fengári kai píso, earendel.” (Greek for I love you to the moon and back)

As they turned around Desai eyed Diana and asked, “What did you find out that changed your mind about me?”

“I have four huge binders lying out there on the table. How did you survive all of everything you’ve been through?” Diana asked tenderly.

“Let’s discuss it all after supper, shall we?” Desai suggested as she made her way out of the bedroom and back to the kitchen.

As Desai entered the living room she gave everyone a smile as she said, “Are you guys ready to eat?” She looked at Sarah’s little girl, “Hey, precious, are you okay?”

She nodded as she wrapped her arms around Desai’s neck and began crying, “I’m sorry. I didn’t …”

“Shhh, it’s okay, baby girl. I love you, precious. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Desai hugged her gently. “I think Uncle Yay Monster got a pizza and I know he got spaghetti. Are you ready to eat?”

“Yes!” she said with a smile as she ran to Tom and jumped up in his open arms. “Yay!”

He laughed and motioned for everyone to head to the kitchen putting one arm around Desai’s waist as they walked. Desai smiled up at him her heart so full of love she felt it would burst. She looked around and made eye contact with Diana and motioned for her to join in. She smiled and kissed Diana on her cheek as she wrapped an arm around Desai’s waist too. “I love you, Desai. Can you ever forgive me?”

Desai smiled as she said, “I already have, Diana. I love you too, I always have.” She hugged her closer as she added, “And I always will.”

Desai touched the binders with reverence knowing that her entire life, everything was in them.

“Desai, are you okay?” Emma asked.

Desai nodded. “There’s just so much in these.” She looked at Thomas. “The good, bad, and the oh-so-very ugly. There’s probably stuff in there that I’ve forgotten. Or didn’t know. It’s kind of scary.” Her hand shook as she drew it back to her. “Earendel, should I look?” Her hands gesticulated wildly as she motioned to the black binders. “I want you to know everything… I’m just not sure I can. I don’t think I want to … I’m afraid it … what if I do and it changes me?” She sat heavily in one of the chairs. “What if you find out everything … everything that I’ve forgotten … or didn’t know … and – and it changes you?”

Thomas wrapped his arms around her. “Whatever is in those binders will only make me love you more for the things you have endured. I love you, nothing is ever going to change that.”

They ate dinner and everyone talked and teased Desai about her being a shopping goddess as Tom had nicknamed her. “I’m not kidding,” he protested. “She has an eye for unique and one of a kind items,” he said as he looked into her eyes. “And I am making a request right now! Because I already know what I want for Christmas next year,” Thomas said with a wicked grin. “I want a little girl of my very own for next Christmas! Right, darling?!”

Desai blushed beet red but smiled and nodded. “I’ll talk to Santa.”

Everyone laughed at that. Desai hoped she could do just that – give Thomas a baby girl.

The binders came after Thomas’s sisters and families left it was now just the three of them, Desai, Thomas, and Diana.

“Desai, come here, love, and sit between us. Everything will be fine. We’re right here, right, mum?”

“That’s right, Desai. Please?” Diana asked softly.

Desai nodded and sat between them. “Where do we start?” she asked as Diana opened one and then another.

“Of, course it would be the last one! Always is.” She gazed over at Desai who met her gaze. “I don’t know how the investigator found all of this out. Some of it might shock you, love, but know that you are loved. I mean that.” Diana slid the large three-ringed over to Desai.

She took a deep breath and opened it. The first thing she saw was a birth certificate, but the name on it for her parents was wrong. “I – I – don’t understand. Marianne Lockland was my aunt, not my mother. Father unknown.” She sniffled, “So when they called me a bastard it was the truth.”

“She wasn’t your aunt, Desai, she was born to the people you believed were your parents who were really your grandparents and yes, love, you do have a father,” Diana explained as she pointed to another document.

Desai slipped the paper out of the plastic and began to read the report that the investigator had provided. Suddenly she dropped the paper as if it had burned her. “My mother’s brother, Uncle Dean Manchester is my father? He raped Marianne the first time when she was ten! And kept on abusing her until she got pregnant then he flew the coop to leave a thirteen-year-old to deal with her pregnancy?” She hung her head and wept for the young girl who had bore her burden almost entirely alone. “Is she still alive?” Desai whispered through her tears.

“No, she passed away about three months ago, but she did leave you letters, pictures, and some things she made just for you. I have it all in a box. It’s in the boot of my car.” She looked over Desai’s head to Tom and he nodded and got up. Desai looked at him and he said, “I’ll be right back.” Kissing her on the top of her head he went to retrieve what her true mother had left her.

“Your father …” Diana began but was stopped.

“Died in a house fire, screaming for forgiveness and that he was sorry. No one ever knew why he was saying that. But Marianne, she was always kind to me and made sure that I had encouragement, I understand why now. Diana, I don’t know what to say…I admit I was angry at first. I mean when you said you had hired an investigator, but I’m not angry at you now.” Tears glistened in her eyes as she hugged Diana.

That’s how Tom found them as he came in with the big box. “That’s a sight for sore eyes. I’m so glad the two of you have – well, mum, you finally decided that Desai is not going to ruin my life or career.” He sat the box down on the table, “Because I intend to live the rest of my life with this beautiful woman and our children… whether they be born to us or adopted.”

Desai went through the report and learned many things that helped to explain why she had been treated the way she had. She had been sold to Andrew to cover debts. “Andrew had known all along about Marianne he knew everything about me. He never loved me. He just used me for his torturous pleasure.”

“Marianne, loved you and she tried to contact you but every letter that was sent was returned to her unopened. After a while she began writing to you in journals, putting her feelings and thoughts into words that she hoped someday you would read.” Diana encircled Desai’s shoulders and soothingly murmured, “Her husband Jack Lockland made sure everything was saved and complied with every question he was asked. He’s a good man and wants to meet his step-daughter.”

Desai looked up shocked, “Why now?”

“He always wanted to know you. Marianne was afraid that Andrew would hurt you. Little did she know that he abused you almost daily.”

Desai looked at her shocked, Thomas looked at Desai with the same expression. “I really don’t remember a lot of that. I know he and I argued almost daily especially just before the wreck. Mostly about my brother. James had dementia and it was becoming a day-to-day strain to make sure he was up and about, eating, personal hygiene was a big problem and Andrew hated it. So I hired a nurse to help. We argued a lot about that.” She looked up at Thomas. “I told you it was hellacious there at the end. I just didn’t get into specifics. I’m sorry, Thomas, I should have told you …”

“Babe, it’s okay. That’s all in the past. We have our entire future to look forward to. Now, let’s open a bottle or four of wine and wrap some of those presents. All of this can wait until tomorrow. Nothing in all of this is going to change. Mum, stay the night.”

“Yes, Diana, please stay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this sheds a little light on Desai's life -- there is more to come.


	21. Chapter Twenty-one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of Christmas Love and sex. A huge surprise for Thomas!

Desai called her step-father Jack Lockland the next day, after tending to her hangover, a bit too much wine was had the night before. But almost all of the presents were wrapped and the rest were being delivered if not today then from now until Christmas Eve. Three weeks away.

Her conversation with Jack was long and heart-filled, she learned that she had three half-brothers and two half-sisters and that they and their spouses all wanted to meet her and Tom.

Tom smiled and kept her in tea and snacks as she talked on the phone. He was so very happy for her. She had thought that everyone was gone and that she had no true family. Was she ever wrong! He was looking forward to meeting everyone, after all, that’s what family was all about and since there were going to be so many they would need to have the gathering at Desai’s house.

“Would you like to – I mean do you have passports?”

“We do,” he said with a laugh.

“Then let me know when all of you can come over! I have the means for travel, I just need to know how many there are of you.”

Arrangements were made and they said their, “I’ll see you soon’s.” Desai also made a few more calls to make arrangements for her house to be cleaned and readied for her family.

Family.

Finally.

She would need to get all the decorations at her house and get started there after she finished here at home.

Tom, Desai, and Diana set up the big tree in front of the living room window then they watched as Desai began decorating it. He had only seen her this happy on the day they were married. She was a happy person a joyous soul and when he looked at her he could see something that he had never seen in any other’s eyes.

Forever.

They had been through so much and yet together they had overcome not only her fears but his as well. However, that didn’t mean he was putting a stop to the bodyguards.

She walked around and around the tree placing an ornament there and here another tuck of the ribbon until she was satisfied that it was perfect. “There, this one’s finished. I just need the tree skirt.”

Tom watched as she unpacked the plush faux fur skirt then carefully placed it under the tree.

“That’s the most beautiful tree I’ve ever seen,” Diana said as she gazed at the tree.

Desai smiled and said, “Oh, this is just the first one. I’ve been picking out spots for a while now for various trees and not just here. I have plans to place them in my house too which is where Jack and the rest of my family are going to stay.” She looked at Tom and said, “We need to get Da’ here. He can stay here with us and so can you Diana as well as Sarah and Emma and the guys.”

Tears of happiness overcame her as she said, “I have family! I never thought I would have that. Ever! Tom, you gave that back to me! I have a mum, da’, two das! Sisters, brothers, nieces all because of you! I have so much because you love me! I love you!” she said as she opened her arms and not disappointing her he pulled her into his arms.

“I love you, Desai. You will never know how much!”

Diana sat her heart bursting with love, wondering how she could have ever been so cruel and hateful to Desai.

“Mum?” Desai asked. “What’s wrong?”

Tears marred her face, “Desai, I’m overwhelmed and I’m so, so, sorry.” Her hands waved about as she added, “I cannot believe that I was that jealous of you. You told me how you felt and I could see it in your eyes that what you said was true, that you loved Tom. I should have given you the family ring.”

Desai rushed to her kneeling she softly said, “Shhh, Shhh, it’s all forgotten, Diana. Don’t do this to yourself, mum. Please. I forgive you, but you are going to have to forgive yourself. You have to do that and I know how hard that is.”

Just then Diana’s stomach growled and Desai laughed. “Thomas, we should eat, mum sounds as if she’s starving.” Desai caressed her face. “I love you. I always have and I always will.” She sighed, “Please, stop worrying. I could never hate you. You gave me, Thomas.”

After brunch, Tom called and made plans for his father to come the next day and to stay for Christmas. He then stood and watched his house, well their house, no their home, slowly turn into a Christmas wonderland. There were trees of all sizes and decorations galore as Desai seemingly worked magic to create winter scenes everywhere. There were wreaths, swags, and garlands that she had created. He was amazed at her talent. The woman could do anything she wanted it seemed and she chose to be with him. He was one lucky man. _Where the Hell had she stored all of this?_

His father arrived the next day right on time and in good spirits. After hugs and ‘I love yous’ they all settled down with James being as astounded as Thomas with all the Christmas decorations. “Where did you learn to do all of this?” James asked Desai as she was making a long and low live arrangement for the counter.

“Everywhere! I watched shows, YouTube, took a couple of classes at a craft shop.” She shrugged, “You just pick up things here and there and keep the ideas. I also save a lot of pictures from various sites just to get ideas.”

“I see you keep checking the clock, love,” Tom said with a grin.

“I can’t help it!” she exclaimed as she placed another rose into the wet florist foam. “I never knew I had family. I knew I had you and Da’, mum, Emma and Sarah, and the munchkin, but to know that I have blood brothers and sisters. It’s almost overwhelming.” She looked at Thomas and asked, “Do multiples run in your family?”

“What do you mean, love?”

“Like twins or triplets?”

Thomas looked at his mother and father. They both shook their heads.

“I was just wondering, Jack had asked me if we had children and I told him no. I didn’t go into the miscarriage … anyway he said that Alicia and Carol are twins, although not identical. Jackson, Jason, and Justin are triplets, but not identical.”

Tom’s eyebrow rose at that. “So that means that your mum …”

“Dropped more than a single egg at the time of fertilization.” Desai kept working with her flower arrangement.

Tom sat down and looked up at the clock then at Desai as his mother and father hid their smiles behind their teacups.

The arrival of Desai’s step-father and family was a joyous occasion. She had arranged for cars to pick them up at the airport feeling that she and Thomas should show a united front so to speak as they greeted them at Desai’s house.

There were tears, hugs galore, and words of love spoken as they all made their way into the living room.

“I hope it was alright that I brought my furbaby,” Alicia, said as she hugged her Snoodle. “He goes everywhere with me.”

“It's fine, Alicia. Thomas and I have, well, Bobby belongs to him but I love him too. Does Niki, get along with other dogs?”

“Yeah, he’s never had a problem with dogs or cats.”

Desai smiled as a little girl of around three, toddled over to her, she nearly cried when she called out, “Nana! Nana!”

Desai picked her up with a, “Hello, precious!” She looked at Jack who said, “That’s Rebecca. She probably thinks you’re Marianne. You look just like your mother and you have the same personality. It’s a blessing, Desai. Truly. Your mom loved you so very much but she wasn’t allowed …”

“Shhh, Jack, I know. I know,” she murmured as Thomas lay a hand on her shoulder, then suddenly the little girl wanted up and in his arms. “Charmer,” Desai said with a laugh as Thomas lifted her up and tucked her into his chest wearing a mile-wide smile.

He talked to her quietly as he carried her around to the large tree in the living room walking around it slowly so that her little eyes could focus on the different things Desai had tucked into almost every bow. _OH, he’s going to be such a good daddy!_

Desai looked around at everyone and said, “I really wanted you to stay with us at our home but there’s not enough room, Thomas has two sisters, they have husbands, and a niece. Diana and James, Thomas’s parents are staying with us too.” She looked around again and saw Thomas still talking to the toddler. “I don’t want you to feel you’re being put out of sight and mind. I just felt that here would be better, there’s lots more space. I’ve set up the Christmas party to be held here in the ballroom. I’ve made sure the pantry is stocked, if there is something that you like and it’s not here, let me know I’ll do my best to get it for you.”

Thomas laughed, “Darling, you sound as if you’re running a bed and breakfast. Which is what her home in Georgia has been turned into. She’s so organized another reason I love her.”

Carol, her other sister and mother to the toddler, Rebecca, asked, “Who decorated?”

Thomas proudly said, “Your sister. She had help putting up the trees, but every decoration, ornament, ribbon tuck, and twist was placed by Desai. My wonderful wife.”

“Mama was the same way. She could have made Charlie Brown’s tree pretty,” Alicia said.

“I didn’t use glass ornaments because since Thomas has Bobby I was afraid that someone might get hurt,” she said as she petted Niki. “And had I known about you I would have sent you home with bunches of presents!”

“I have been trying for hours to get her asleep and would you look?! She’s out,” Carol stated, as her husband John retrieved the child from Tom’s arms.

“I told you he’s a charmer. Children love him. And he loves them,” Desai said proudly. “I am going to go and let y’all get some rest. I’m so excited I will probably not sleep much at all and I have a feeling all of you feel the same way, but I also know how tiring it is to travel for that long on a plane.” She hugged Jack and the rest then she and Thomas said goodnights and told them to plan on a huge breakfast in the morning at Tom’s house. “You’ll get to meet all of Thomas’s family!”

The house was packed the next morning and there was so many talking at once Desai had a problem keeping up with everyone. With Christmas only a week away, Tom and Desai decided to take her family on a tour of London.

Harrods was on the list of go-to places and Desai ended up buying more gifts which caused Thomas to tease her, “Am I going to have to hail another cab home, my shopping goddess?”

Jack laughed and put an arm around her shoulder. “It’s so good to finally get to meet you and get to know you and Tom. Your sister Alicia has a fascination with your husband,” he said the last lowly.

“I’ll make sure to get her a personalized photograph or one of the two of us,” Tom said as he wrapped one of his arms around Desai’s waist. “No, need to move, Jack. I’m willing to share her love with her family.”

Desai moved her arms and hugged both men around their waists as she wore the brightest and widest of smiles.

For lunch, they visited _Bill's Baker Street_ , leaving a smiling waiter behind with a huge tip, after all, they were a group of twelve not counting the toddler!

_Madame Tussauds_ was a big hit for Desai as well as her family as she had never been there. Thomas used the shadows to steal feels and kisses. He loved how her eyes sparkled so brightly. He had never noticed how her eyes really expressed her love. He learned more about her with every day they spent together.

Then later they toured the theater Thomas was performing in and was granted tickets for the entire front row for the family on Christmas Eve. Desai couldn’t wait she had the perfect dress picked out already. 

The next evening Tom could hear all the women, including his mother, giggling and squealing as they assisted each other in getting ready. Desai let her sisters (all seven of them) pick out dresses from her closet in the room next door to the master bedroom. When they came out each one looked as if they were about to walk the red carpet.

“Wow, Carol, you didn’t look that good on our wedding day!” John commented as he looked at his wife.

She grinned and said, “Yeah well you clean up pretty good yourself.”

The rest of the ladies sidled up to their husbands while Tom stood waiting for Desai to make her appearance, when she did he was not disappointed. “Oh, love. You are gorgeous. That color suits you.”

***

Christmas Eve, Thomas and Desai along with her and his entire family went to the theater, she was there to watch him perform. She fit in nicely with all the other patrons who were dressed for the occasion. Red velvet dress, slit up the right side, asymmetrical top with a long split sleeve on the right arm, red wedged heeled shoes to match, and a gold clutch.

She couldn’t remember when she had been so enthralled with a performance. She knew he was a good actor but to see him transform into a character and be someone completely different was amazing!

They all left before Tom, as was arranged so that he could sign autographs for fans. Desai wanted to stay but he assured her he would be late coming home and no need for her to just sit backstage and wait on him. “I assure you, darling, I will be fine.” There were cameras going off as he kissed her, but that was alright, she could share him with his fans. After the kiss, he assisted her into the car with Da’, Diana, Sarah, and Emma’s guys.

They met Luke on his way out of the house, he proudly showed them the piano and then closed the door. They all knew Tom would love it! And with Thomas still, at the theater, she had time to put his ‘little presents’ on the tree.

Desai was asleep when he got home, or so he thought. He sat at the end of the bed taking his shoes and socks off. He was tired to be sure but that didn’t stop the want he had for his wife.

“Hey, babe,” she said softly as she sat up. He turned and stared at her bare breasts with their erect nipples moaning lowly.

“You are beautiful, wife. I see you and I want you,” he said as he stood dropping his pants, and boxers, his erection twitching with need.

“C’mere, husband,” she said quietly even though Diana and the rest were at the other end of the house she didn’t particularly want them to hear them making love. “I need you too, every minute of every day. I love you, Thomas.”

He slowly crawled over her kissing his way up her legs, abdomen, and breasts until he reached her mouth where he lingered kissing her thoroughly and leisurely as his hands kneaded her breasts tenderly. He caught her moans in his mouth as her legs fell open and his hips settled between them as he pressed his erection into her abdomen. One of his hands slowly snaked its way down between their bodies and found her wet with need.

“Already so wet for me, love,” he murmured against her lips and felt her smile as she whispered, “Always, earendel.”

His lips trailed down to her chest, sucking each nipple with care and passion. He pumped a finger inside, slowly curling against that sweet spot that only he had ever touched.

Desai hissed through her teeth as the coil inside of her twisted tight, threatening to snap at any moment. “Thomas, I…” she pleaded, desperate to come. His lips giving an extra hard suck on her nipple. He slipped a second inside of her and she came undone, silently screaming.

Thomas pressed up on his hands and then his knees. He took his cock into his hand and pumped it a few times before teasing the tip along her folds. He pushed into her with a groan. Desai writhed to accommodate him as he filled her to the hilt.

“Yes, wife,” he moaned as he snapped his hips against hers. “You are…mmmm.” His words cut off as her walls squeezed around his shaft.

Thomas’s pace was brutal, and she was certain there would be bruises on her hips by the end of the night. He grunted as they each chased their own release.

“Darling, I’m close, but I want you to come. Again.” His fingers found her clit, and he pressed gently in tight circles.

“I…” The rest of the words were lost as another orgasm washed over her. She arched up and Thomas thrust three more times before spilling inside of her.

He collapsed against her his chest heaving before rolling to the side. Thomas’s eyes raked over her with a tenderness that warmed her from the inside out.

“What?” she asked as she noticed his gaze.

He smiled. “I was thinking it is beginning to look a lot like Christmas.” He kissed her forehead.

Desai turned on her side to face him as she snuggled into his arms then kissed his lips. “You are the best Christmas gift a girl could ask for. Merry Christmas, earendel.”

“Merry Christmas, love.”

***

Desai stretched and knew Thomas was already up and cooking pancakes from the smell of it then she heard voices and knew that Diana was up and there were others too. She headed to the shower and then quickly got ready for Christmas morning. Her most comfortable pair of jeans and a festive red velvet blouse with her gray bunny house shoes. She was brushing out her hair when Thomas came in.

Seeing her bent over gave him all kinds of ideas but there were just too many people waiting for them nevertheless that didn’t mean he couldn’t cop a feel. “What do you think you’re doing, Thomas?” Desai asked as she felt him push his crotch against her ass and grab her hips.

“I’m making sure my wife is ready,” he smirked with a laugh.

She raised up and looked over her shoulder at him with a smile. “I’m always ready when you’re around, my love.”

He groaned and released her. She smiled and asked, “What are you going to do when you have to travel without me?” The expression on his face was like that of a little boy who had lost his favorite toy.

“What do you mean? There is absolutely no reason why you can’t travel with me, darling.”

“Thomas, I meant during late pregnancy. There’ll be a point when I won’t be able to get on a plane it’ll not be safe for the baby or me. Oh, sweetheart, I’m not going to leave you. I love you. It’s Christmas! C’mon! Let’s go eat and then open presents!” She jumped a little. “I wanna see what you got me!” He brightened immediately and nodded. He had not thought about how a pregnancy could keep her from being with him.

After breakfast, Desai and Thomas sat together watching everyone else open presents. “This is the best Christmas I’ve ever had, Thomas. Thank you, earendel,” she whispered as she leaned her head onto his as he snuggled her closer.

“Next year will be even better.”

“Yes, it will,” she said as she smiled at him.

“What are you up to?” he asked.

“Nothing. I’m not up to anything. However, we need to get our presents out of the formal living room. Please, love.”

Diana had made her way into the room and was waiting for Thomas to enter, she wanted to get his expression. As Thomas went around the corner and down the hall Desai motioned for everyone to follow.

When he opened the door, for a moment he just stood there as if in shock. He blinked a few times then finally entered the room. He sat on the padded bench and then ever so slowly began to touch the keys. “Oh, my goodness,” he finally said quietly as if speaking too loudly would cause it to suddenly disappear.

Desai knew he was overwhelmed; it was something he had not expected, but she knew he had wanted. Just as she knew he had wanted a Jaeger –LeCoultre, which she had also gotten him. All of her gifts for him were either on or under the tree in this room as were her gifts from him. “Thomas?” she asked quietly as she moved to stand behind him. “Are you okay?”

When he looked up at her tears shone in his eyes. “You’re unbelievable, Desai.” He reached around and pulled her onto his lap and hugged her tightly as he buried his face in her neck.

“Oh, babe, this is just your biggest gift, you have so many more things to open.” She looked at him and asked softly, “Do you want to wait a bit?”

He sniffed and nodded. “You are an incredible woman and I love you more than life itself. More than anything.”

“And I you, earendel.” She smiled as she whispered, “It one of those fancy ones that can be programmed to play anything that’s downloaded into this.” She showed him the pad that worked the piano automatically.

“Desai,” he began as he tilted his head. “You are spending way too much on me.”

She snorted to keep from barking a laugh, “Darling, you really have no idea how wrong you are. You just wait. Your birthday is coming up.”

His eyes widened, but he kept silent.

***

Christmas dinner went wonderfully, everyone was dressed to the nines and stuffed themselves to the gills. Jack and Desai danced together as Thomas watched. Her green dress flowed around her. He was happy for Desai, and was glad that his mum had hired a private investigator. He knew that Jack and the rest of Desai’s brothers and sisters were good people and that eased the fear in his heart. He didn’t want to see her ever hurt again, he wasn’t naïve enough to believe that she would never again have pain but he never wanted to see the fear and emptiness he had seen in her eyes after being abducted.

After the dance was finished Desai walked over to the bar and requested a whiskey on ice. She had outdone herself with this Christmas celebration, she had made sure that the caterer knew to include vegetarian dishes along with the prime rib and Cornish game hens with all the wonderful side dishes.

Thomas, sauntered up to her, “You don’t usually have whiskey this early. Is there something I should know about?”

She gazed into his eyes and said, “Is it normal to be jealous of a sister?” She looked over his shoulder and added, “Alicia has the biggest crush on you and she is single.”

“I saw Emma and Sarah have their little jealousies, but nothing serious. It’s normal love, but rest assured you have nothing to worry about.” He caressed her face and removed the drink from her hand, “Bartender, give the lady a glass of her favorite Rose.” He wove his fingers into her hair pulling her closer then kissed her, tenderly yet deeply. “I’m going to dance with Alicia and I’m going to tell her how much I’m in love with you. There’s no one else, you are my one and only.” He gave her a little smirk and murmured, “I thought it would have been Miranda, Sandra, or Amanda. Alicia? Really? Well, should I show her my wild side?”

“Thomas?” she quirked a brow at him as she grasped her wine glass and watched as he asked Alicia to dance with him. Desai smiled to herself, she knew what he was going to do because he had done it to her several times. _He’s literally going to sweep her off her feet._

Alicia smiled up at Thomas as they began dancing then Alicia was off the ground and being twirled as she was held in Thomas’s arms then feet back on the ground he twirled her again until she was breathless.

***

With Jack, and her brothers having to get back to work on the second of January they left the day after Christmas. There were many tears but she knew they would be getting back together before long. “I love you, Desai, like my own.”

“I love you too, Dad.” Jack hissed in a breath and pulled her closer.

“Thank you, daughter. This is something that your mama …”

“She knows, trust me she knows. I love you. Be safe when you get home and I’ll be calling.” She grabbed the lapels of his coat and tugged. “If you, any of you, need anything and I do mean anything. Please, dad, just ask. I don’t know unless you talk to me and let me know. Please? Promise me, daddy. Please?”

Tom watched the interaction between Desai and Jack and could feel the love radiating off them. He smiled and brushed a tear away from his eye.

“I will I promise,” Jack said solemnly.

“Lass, pardon the interruption, but we need to go,” Donal said as he lightly touched her shoulder.

“Safe travels,” she said and backed away reluctantly.

When they got home it was to find Diana, Da’, and the girls packed up and ready to leave. “Tired of us already?” Desai asked with a laugh knowing that Sarah and family had plans to visit her husband’s family for Boxing Day. Emma and her husband were planning on Paris for the New Year. She wasn’t sure about Diana and Da’ but she figured it would be a quiet night for Da’ and a festive one for Diana.

Desai and Thomas were planning on attending a small party that Ben and Sophie were having, but other than that nothing outlandish. Desai was glad that they once again had their home back, although she would never tell Thomas that.

She squealed when the last car went out the gate because he had run his cold hands under her blouse and bra grabbing her breasts. “Thank, God! We can now run around naked and fuck anytime we want! I love my family, but it’s good to be back to just us again.”

She giggled as he turned her around. “You know we still have gifts to open.”

“The only thing I want to open is your legs and have my fill of you.” He nuzzled her neck, “The sooner the better,” he said as he tossed her over his shoulder giving her ass a slap as he made his way into the house.

“Thomas! That hurt!” All she got for her trouble was another slap. She decided that since her husband was in a demanding mood she would be better off being quiet. At least for now.

He hauled her into the music room and ordered, “Undress.”

Desai complied as she placed her clothes into a pile beside the Steinway. She stood stock-still not saying anything only gazing at her husband as he then said, “Sit and play. Something soft and romantic.”

She nodded and murmured, “Yes, sir.” Desai sat on the padded bench, the feeling of the leather on her bottom and upper thighs feeling funny. She thought for a moment then her fingers began moving across the keys as she played, _Clair de Lune_ by Claude Debussy.

“Don’t stop,” Thomas whispered as he caressed Desai’s curves, breasts, her thighs, and more. Thomas’s caresses quickly grew more heated, as his lips descended from Desai’s hair, to the side of her right cheek, to just behind her ear… down below her ear. He lingered just at the junction that connected Desai’s neck and shoulder, sucking and licking and kissing until a nice red mark remained – evidence that Desai had been claimed. His fingers had found her wetness and they moved softly through the slickness pooling there. “Ummm, so wet. Scoot forward just a bit, love.” He sighed then slowly pressed a finger inside. “So tight and quivering with need.” His fingers danced over her clit, applying enough pressure to cause her to falter in her playing, to gasp and to whimper, pushing back into the body that stood hovering over her from behind. After enough torture, he moved lower.

With his hips, Thomas pushed Desai forward, closer to the edge, giving him the room he needed. “Keep playing,” he muttered into her ear, before turning his lips back to the skin of her shoulder and neck. Desai continued to play, faltering onto a misplaced dissonant chord when another of Thomas’s fingers entered her.

As Thomas continued to play her like she was playing the piano, he noticed something. One—she was no longer in the right mind to play the piano as she neared orgasm; and two—Desai was moaning, and whimpering louder and louder into the music-filled air of the room. “You’re delightful, dearest. I love those noises.” He licked and nipped her neck, “Come for me, Desai. Come. Now.” He continued to finger her through her orgasm and after she had calmed a bit he said, “Stand up love.”

He moved the bench and then bent her forward murmuring, “Keep your hands on the keys … move your legs and hips back a bit. That’s it. Perfect.” He kissed her from her tailbone up to her hairline as he undressed, whispering, “You are perfection, Desai. I love you,” he said as with one long and steady push he entered her as he slowly began to circle her clitoris. Desai’s eyes were closed as she felt her orgasm rising then cresting and she came hard with a shudder and a scream of his name. It took every ounce of Tom’s willpower not to come with her as he slowly withdrew until only the head of his cock remained inside her. “Thomas?” she asked with a quivering voice.

“Shhhh,” he sounded against her skin as his hand once again found her clit and began to toy with her still swollen nub. “I want you to let go. Make all the noise you want, because I certainly will be. We’ve had to be much too quiet these past weeks,” he said with a grunt as he pushed into her hard smiling as she gasped and groaned. “Feel good love?”

“Yes!” she screamed as she pushed back into him. “Don’t stop! Please, Thomas, don’t stop!” She moaned loudly as he pulled out, “Nooo!”

He just laughed as he turned her around and sat them both on the padded bench. “I want to see your face when you come and when I come inside you. If we come together even better.” He grasped one of her hands placing a kiss on the palm as he ever so slowly entered her again. “Never, ever has there been a woman who made me feel this way. I love you and you are truly a gift.”

Her voice shuddered as she begged, “Please just fuck me.”

“That’s what I mean, a gift,” he murmured as he helped her ride him. Soon the room was filled with sounds of sex, wet and hot as their bodies moved with and against each other. He could feel her climax as it began and he was chasing his own. “I’m close, love, so close. Fuck me, baby.”

As soon as he uttered those words Desai came with a loud groan and gush and so did he. They sat there holding each other as their bodies slowly regained normalcy. She placed her head on his shoulder as tears of emotion fell from her eyes. “I love you,” she whispered.

Smiling into her hair he murmured, “I love you too.” As he moved her face so that he could look at her he said, “So when can we open the rest of the gifts?”

Desai threw her head back and laughed as she shook her head. “Shower and then we open gifts!”

Dressed in identical pajamas with Bobby between them they opened the remaining gifts. Tom gushed over his new watch. “You have a small box on there,” Desai said with a slight smile. “It’s the only bright red box on the tree.”

She watched as like a little boy he shook the box. “Now, what if that were breakable?”

He smirked, “You’d buy another one?”

“Not so sure about that, you rat.” She laughed again as he scrunched up his face to imitate a mouse.

As he opened the box, “Thanks, I needed some picks …” He stopped talking as he pulled out a folded note. As he unfolded the note he looked at Desai then began reading, “My dearest love, you are the reason I get up each day. The reason I smile. You are my everything. And I want to and intend to give you as much back as you’ve given me. Please, forgive me for my possible overindulgence … look behind the tree. Forever yours, Love Always, Desai Hiddleston.” Tears began and he couldn’t stop them as he asked, “Oh, love. What have you done?”

“Just look and be careful.”

He pulled out a Gibson electric guitar that matched the piano. “How did you manage all of this?”

“Oh, I had help, Luke, mum and a few others were in on it. The amp is right there,” she said pointing to a box that had treble clefts all over the paper. “Just pull up on the bow.”

“And here I thought you were just decorating in here. You wonderful little minx!” His expression was one of wonder and love.

“There’s one more gift, Thomas. I hope I saved the best for last,” she said as she hugged him. “I love you, earendel. You are my angel. My miracle.” She reached up and closed his eyes as she reached over and plucked the final gift off the tree and held it in her hands. “Now you can look,” she said softly.

He looked at the long box in her hand and wondered what it could be. He gazed into her eyes and asked, “Is it fragile?”

She smiled as she said, “Yes, it is.” She sat on the loveseat and patted the cushion beside her. “Have a seat.”

Thomas sat down and began to gently open the package, when it was opened he found another note and read aloud, “Thomas, my everlasting love. I guess Santa was listening when you said you wanted a baby girl. Although I can’t promise it will be a girl. I can promise it will be loved. And if you don’t know by now … I’m pregnant.”

He stared at her open-mouthed then looked at the pregnancy test that clearly showed a positive reading.

“Thomas?” she asked warily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope all of you enjoyed this! I had fun.


	22. Chapter Twenty-two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Desai's pregnant Thomas is shocked, and shocked again. Sex and sex ensues

He sat staring at the test then he looked at Desai as he asked shakily, “For real? You’re – not a joke?”

She touched his face and smiled as she softly said, “This is something that I would never joke about, earendel. I am pregnant. We are going to be parents. You are going to be a father.”

He dropped the test and grabbed her pulling her close as he sobbed. “Oh, love! I love you!” He rocked her whispering his love for her over and over. Suddenly he pulled back and asked, “How far along?”

“About three weeks according to my doctor.”

“When did you --?”

“On the twenty-third with the doctor. I did the test and hid it. I wanted to tell you yesterday but you were so overwhelmed with the piano and everyone was here. Last night you were worn out from playing with the kids and I knew you needed your rest.”

“It’s okay, love. I understand why you waited. Has the drinking you’ve done --?”

“I haven’t drank anything since the day you and I went shopping at Harrods.”

“You drank at the Christmas party. I saw you order a whiskey.”

“And you drank it. You ordered me a rosé which I told the bartender to change to a cranberry spritz while you were dancing with Alicia. I had a feeling something had changed when I was getting kinda nauseated at odd times. So I called and made an appointment with my doctor a couple of days after you and I went shopping. She verified that I am pregnant.”

“This is the best present I’ve ever gotten.” He looked at her abdomen then up to her eyes smiling as she grasped his hand and placed it over her abdomen. “You haven’t been as sick as you were before.”

“That’s thanks to the Zofran. I can just dissolve one under my tongue when I need it. She wrote me a prescription for them the day I called for an appointment and I am scheduled to see her in another week. She wants to get the baby’s heartbeat as soon as she can. Will you be able to go with me?”

“I’ll be with you no matter what.”

As they sat in the waiting room of Desai’s ob/gyn she could tell Thomas was nervous. He was always the sort of person that could never be still but he was acting like he needed the bathroom.

“Thomas,” Desai asked quietly, “are you okay?”

“Does it show that much?” He swiped fingers through his hair. “I’m just anxious, I guess.”

“Hey, it’s alright. I’m a bit nervous myself. I’m bigger this time.”

“What do you mean?” he asked suddenly serious.

“I mean that clothes that fit me Christmas, don’t fit me now,” she whispered. “I actually have a bump and I’m only four weeks. So something is different this time.”

They both looked up when the nurse called, “Desai.” They followed her into a hallway and of course, Desai knew she would have to weigh her. “Thomas, please hold my coat and bag.”

“Shoes too,” the nurse informed. “We have foot coverings.”

Thomas assisted Desai, even though he didn’t have to, in removing her boots and placing the foot coverings on. The nurse smiled at the two of them as Desai stepped onto the scale. The nurse hid her grin as Tom placed a foot on the scale causing it to rise to 68kg (150 lbs.).

“No effing way!” Desai wailed. Then she noticed Thomas’s grey boot. “Thomas William Hiddleston! That’s no way to treat a pregnant lady. Especially when she’s your wife!” she giggled as he laughed then he removed his foot. “That’s better,” said Desai as the numbers went down to 54.43 kg (120 lbs.).

As the doctor entered she was all smiles as she introduced herself to Thomas. “I’m Dr. Sarah Sigh, nice to meet you, Mr. Hiddleston.”

“Please call me Tom, everyone does.”

“Tom it is then.” She looked to Desai as she said, “I want you to undress,” she pointed to a screen, “behind there. Everything because I will be doing a breast exam as well. I will be asking questions while you’re undressing. Will that be alright?”

“Of course, doctor. Not the first time I’ve gone through this,” Desai said as she slipped behind the screen and began undressing.

“Have you had any unusual vaginal discharge?” Dr. Sigh asked.

“No, and none from my breasts either,” Desai said as she slipped her dress over her head then lay it on the chair. Tom sat nervously, he had not expected all of this when he said he wanted to know about everything that was going on.

“Any pain during sex? Are you climaxing?” the doctor asked.

Tom’s face went beet red, he could feel it.

“None at all and yes I am,” Desai answered happily as he could see her slip her panties off, then her bra.

“What about your bladder?”

“I haven’t noticed any pain or unusual odor to my urine.”

“Excuse me,” Tom interrupted. “Are these questions …?”

“I asked them at every visit, Tom. It just lets me know if something is going on out of the ordinary. Of course, if anything happens between visits I am always available.” She smiled reassuringly. “How about your sleep?”

“Not as well as I would like. My PTSD has been acting up, I attribute that to the hormones. It happens during my periods that’s why I think it’s hormonal.”

“You could be right, Desai. I’ll do some checking but if you can do without a sleep aid …”

“No. I don’t want anything that’s going to interfere with the baby.”

Tom heard the tinge of fear in her voice and understood it. They had lost one at no fault of their own and they both would be extra careful with this one.

“You’ve gained almost 2kg (4 lbs.). Have you changed your eating habits?”

“No,” she said as she stepped around the panel and hopped up on the bed. “I’ve been exercising as I always have. I still run every day.”

“You’ve been running?!” Tom exclaimed.

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” Dr. Sigh inserted quickly. “The more she walks the better off she’ll be in the long run. I don’t expect or want her to be running during her third trimester unless I give her the okay. I’ll be checking every month, more if I deem it’s needed.” She smiled at both of them. “I understand your fear, losing a child especially the way you lost yours can often place fear where there shouldn’t be.” She draped a warm blanket over Desai’s legs. “Pull up your gown.” As Desai did Dr. Sigh, exclaimed, “You’re already showing. I bet you have more than one in there.”

“I just recently found out that multiples run in my family,” she said as she grabbed Thomas’s hand.

“Well, we’re about to find out,” she said as she sat in front of the machine to the left of Desai and added, “This gel is probably going to feel cold.” As she smoothed it over Desai’s abdomen. As she turned the machine on they could all hear the whooshing sound and she smiled. “There it is.”

“That’s our baby’s heartbeat!” Thomas said excitedly. “That's our baby,” he gushed excitedly. “That’s our baby’s heartbeat!”

“Wait,” the doctor said, suddenly concerned, “I hear something else.” She moved the monitor and another noise came into focus. Her eyebrows knit as she looked at the screen it was attached to. “Yes,” she finally said. “I thought so.”

Desai cast a worried glance at Thomas. “What's wrong?” she asked the doctor, the threat of another loss causing tears to haunt her voice. Her mind was screaming as her heart dropped, ready to hear that there was something not right. “Please tell me. Is there something wrong?”

The doctor looked first at Desai's worried face and then to Thomas's equally concerned one. She smiled and let out a little chuckle. “Oh, sweetie, there’s nothing wrong,” she answered with a smile. Turning her gaze solely to Desai, she continued, “My dear, you are carrying twins. The noise I heard was a second heartbeat.”

Desai let out a deep breath and looked over at Thomas. He was sitting stunned, with a wide grin on his face. “Thomas?” she said, trying to get his attention.

His eyes caught hers. _“Two, twins,”_ he whispered as his mouth fell open and he felt dizzy. “Oh, Sweet Lord,” he mumbled as he rubbed his face and ran his fingers through his hair then promptly fainted.

***

Desai would be calling London home at least until the twins were born; her ob/gyn and the primary doctor had both informed them that there would be no travel until after she delivered; the problem being she could develop deep vein thrombosis because of a fall and then her calf and thigh being stepped on by a fan of Tom’s while at one of his theater performances (some of his fans were a little pushy). It didn’t matter that she was only eight weeks along.

To Tom that meant feet up and allowing others to do what was necessary. Except when she would sneak out.

Like she did today.

Tom wanted to get mad at her, but he couldn’t, the truth was he understood. How many times had he wanted to get out from under Luke and go out by himself? Too many to count. And walking was good for her, her doctors had told her that.

_I needed out of that house! Out from under everyone! I needed to breathe!_

It was one of the rare good days. So… she went shopping! She bought some decorations for the nursery, and the other baby in her life, _yeah, the six-foot-two, blue-eyed British puppy with the gorgeous body and that damned errant eyebrow that had a mind of its own. Yes, that one!_ He received a huge box of _Godiva_ chocolates! The rest of it was in the boot of the car. She was getting better with the British version of things.

She also seemed to be outgrowing clothes (especially pants) faster than a toddler on Miracle-Grow, seriously. She was huge! (As big as a four-month pregnancy and getting bigger).

And cranky. ALL. THE. TIME.

She had no idea how Thomas stood it. She swore that he must’ve been blessed by angels and the patience of Job.

When she walked in she immediately began explaining, although she had text and told him what she was doing and why. He had said he understood meeting her at the door with an, “I love you, darling.” A loving, warm, welcoming hug and a kiss that sent fire to her core.

Oh, and by the way, cranky wasn’t the _only_ thing she was all the time either.

She smiled and ruffled his now light brown curly-all-over hair as he kissed her tummy and took the box of chocolates from her hand. “Those are for you, earendel.”

He smiled down at her, “Would you like some tea, Desai?”

Something was up. “Ummhmm sounds great,” she said as she slipped off her shoes and padded barefoot into the kitchen with her arms wrapped around him. “How was your day, love?” she asked.

He sighed, and she knew something was wrong. It had everything to do with the sound and his body language that made her wary. “What’s wrong? Just tell me, babe. I already told you I can handle it. Where do you have to go?”

He turned giving her a smile over his shoulder, “You have to be the most perceptive being on the planet. So _sui generis_.”

“The same could be said about you.” She grinned as she took a seat and grabbed the warm mug he slid into her hands. “So where are you going?”

“To Vietnam first, but that might change, Australia and Nevada,” he said as he looked at her through his lashes. “No matter what I’ll be back by the end of May. Sooner if you need me to be.”

“Well, while you’re in Nevada, if it’s close to Las Vegas, you can stay in the condo. I really like it there, a great place to get a tan.” She was sad and knew it showed. “I’m gonna miss you.”

He moved to gently hold her in his arms. “Desai, I’m going to miss you, all of you,” he said as he gently moved his hands over their belly bump. “I made sure that if you should need me – it was written into my contract that I could leave the shoot immediately. This is something –” he began his voice thick with emotion. “It’s hard for me to leave you and if I –”

She grasped his face between her hands and said, “Stop. You. Stop. Right. There. You are one of the finest actors the industry has to offer, and this is part of your job. I understand that Thomas, I always have and always will. I do not expect you to sit here and twiddle,” she giggled a little, “your thumbs. You would go stark raving crazy.” She rolled her eyes, “Trust me. I know.” She raised a hand.

He grinned, “That’s something you’ve never called me, is Pid.”

“And I won’t. And – I don’t like it when your friends from school do either.” She waved a hand. “No matter what you say, I know how that must have hurt. Especially with everything that you were going through at that time. My nickname was Bulldog. I hated it. I loved school, did great, and managed to graduate early with honors, although I was already married when I did. I began nursing school at eighteen and achieved my nursing degree. I’m proud of that.” She sighed heavily. “But, you, Thomas. You changed my life. You made me believe in love, trust, and hope. You have always shown me kindness, gentleness, tenderness, and taught me how to give of myself and to do so freely without any fear of you ever hurting me.”

He hugged her closer. “I have no idea what I’ve done to ever deserve a woman like you in my life let alone as my wife and mother of my children, but I thank you for giving me what I’ve always wanted and needed. I love you, darling more than life itself I love you.”

“And I love you. So, when do you leave?”

“Monday.” He moved around and stood behind her rubbing her shoulders. “I’ll call you every day. Skype and text. And send pictures.”

“I know and don’t worry about the time difference. I’ve not been sleeping very well lately, and I know I’ve been keeping you awake, you’re just too much of a sweetheart to say anything.”

She smiled as she felt his hands move down and caress her belly. “I’ve not even packed yet, it's five days until I leave, and I already miss the four of you.”

“Bobby will be fine, we will be fine,” she said as she covered his hands with hers. “I’m going to catch up on some reading, and crafting, call your mom, see if she wants to go out, or maybe just talk. I’ll call da’ and basically throw parties every night until you get back. I’ll invite all the pregnant ladies of London over and we’ll have a show of breast pumps and breastfeeding bras.”

He chuckled low, leaned down, and placed a kiss under her ear. “I love you. You’re crazy and I really like that. Make sure you get pictures.” He smacked his lips and whistled. “I love me some preggers,” he said in his slow drawl of a Southern accent.

She began laughing so hard she thought she was going to wet herself, she bounded out of his arms and raced to the hallway bathroom.

“Did you make it?”

“Yes, barely but yeah. Thanks, babe.”

“What would you like for dinner?” he asked quietly not wanting her to have to fuss or cook for him.

“Something that we don’t have to fuss over,” she said as she padded by him, smiling as he wrapped those deliciously long arms around her middle and they waddle-walked to the kitchen. “I marinated some chicken, thought I would make you Cajun Sticky Chicken, along with the green beans I bought, and some brown rice with saffron.”

“What about dessert?” Tom asked.

She laughed. “You and your sweet tooth. Darling, I made that yesterday while you were in the shower. It’s a trifle and it’s in the fridge.”

He fairly ran to the refrigerator. “You minx! You put it in a regular bowl! I knew I smelled chocolate!” He was as excited as Christmas morning with his family.

_She wondered how this Christmas would go and suddenly she was in tears. Damn these pregnancy hormones!_ _Two Little Hiddles to add to the bunch!_

“Love? Desai?”

“Hormones, darlin’. I was just thinking about Christmas.”

“Darling, Christmas is months away,” he said soothingly as he once again wrapped his arms around her. “This coming Christmas is going to be the best so far!” He squeezed her against him. “Two baby Hiddles!”

Dinner was prepared with a joint effort fun was had by both as they danced around the kitchen and sang. Then one of their favorite love songs came on Tom gathered Desai into his arms as they danced to _The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face_ by Roberta Flack.

“ _The first time ever I saw your face,”_ Thomas began to sing, _“I thought the sun rose in your eyes, And the moon and the stars, Were the gifts you gave…”_

Desai smiled and sang, “ _To the dark, and the endless skies, My Love…”_

Tom, caressed her face, still singing, “ _And the first time, ever I kissed your mouth, I felt the earth move in my hands, Like the trembling heart, Of a captive bird, That was there, at my command, My Love…”_

Desai smiled as Tom joined her, _“And the first time, ever I lay with you, I felt your heart so close to mine, And I knew our joy, Would fill the earth, And last, ‘til the end of time, My Love,  
And last, 'til the end of time, My love…”_

Tom kissed her like he wanted it to last forever, pullingher closer he could feel the baby bump between them as he led her around the kitchen and into the living room. “You glow, love. Have I told you today that I love you?”

She smiled at him, “Yes, and I love you with all my heart.” She was just about to give him another kiss when there was a beep from the gate. She moved to the couch after she grabbed her mug of tea. Smiling mischievously.

Tom answered, “Yes?”

“Delivery for Mr. Thomas W. Hiddleston. I have several packages for you, sir.”

She grinned at him and sipped her tea as she sat on the couch with Bobby, an innocent smile gracing her face.

“Come through.” Tom pressed the button for the gate.

“What did you order?” he asked suspiciously.

She tilted her head slightly as she asked, “Husband, did you really think I spent all my time on Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest, and Deviant Art, looking for new pics or fan art of you, while you were in interviews, photoshoots, and rehearsals?”

“You didn’t answer my question.” He chuckled as he walked to the door.

“Well,” she began as she looked at him, “you can see for yourself.”

“Allow me to help you with that,” Tom said to the deliveryman. He was laughing and asking, “Desai, what on Earth did you order?”

She heard him but was once again in the bathroom laughing and peeing.

Tom began opening the largest boxes first, two of which were heavy. “Desai! What did you do?!” he exclaimed as one of the Viking ship cradles came into view.

He whirled just as she entered the living room, “Where – how – it’s beautiful! Oh, Desai, I knew the moment I kissed you that first time I was in love with you. I’m so happy that you stuck it out with me. Through my jealousy, my anger, my stupidity, Luke, and my mum’s insults. Most women would have said, ‘forget this, I’m out of here’. And all of this! I love you!” He pulled her close to him lifting her gently as he gave her a kiss that was soul-deep.

She gave him small kisses all over his face and neck, whispering, “I love you,” over and over. “Those big boxes will need to go into the nursery. The other ones you need to open in here.”

“Why?” he asked warily.

She laughed at him. “What do you think I did? Ordered a pop up of some sort?” She shook her head and smirked, “Why are you so suspicious of me?”

Tom laughed, as he began using his fingers to name off the dirty little deeds she had pulled on him. “Where should I start? The glitter bomb in my dressing room. Itching powder in my costume. The God-awful concoction you made up and put into my crème filled donuts – Again. The fart bomb that cleared the theater! The slime in my shoes –”

“Okay, okay. There were a few times I took things too far.”

“A few?!”

“I’m sorry,” she shrugged, “But you haven’t played any pranks lately so no reason for me to get you back.” She got down on the floor and crawled over to him then sat in front of him on the floor. “I promise that this is something you will love.”

“I’m trusting you.”

“I’m sitting right here, earendel.”

When he opened the first package, his eyes widened, there was two of everything and he pulled the first one out and began laughing, then immediately started crying. Chuckling he began to read the baby-sized tees and onesies, laughing as he placed each one beside him, “Every dog needs a baby, I heart Loki, My heart belongs to Loki, Loki made me do it, In a world full of superheroes be a Loki, Farting does not make you the God of Thunder, I still live with my parents, Burdened with glorious purpose, I do what I want, If music be the food of love, play on. Loki’d!” Thomas laughed hard when he saw the ones with his face that had Surprise! Another one, “I love boobs – just like my dad.” Little hoodies that had a picture of Fenrir on it, another with a picture of Loki in his horns, various colors with Loki and those signature horns, bibs with matching sayings on them. “Oh, goodness!” He held up a onesie with a miniature Loki costume printed on it. Another one had a cartoon Loki riding an eight-legged Corgi.

Leaning over he gave her a kiss and asked, “How – where did you find all of these?”

“Oh, I looked around at many different sites and found them. Do you like them?” She asked as she gazed up at him from her seated position on the floor.

“No. I don’t like them at all,” he said very convincingly.

She laughed because she knew he was lying.

He paused his eyes twinkling. “I love them!” He moved from the couch to the floor and gathered Desai into his arms. “I love you. I cannot say it enough. I spent almost a year building up my courage to tell you how I felt and now – I have everything that any man could ever want.” He kissed her leisurely as if time were coming to a stop and all the time in the world was theirs to spend there in that moment.

He slowed his movements as he caressed her face and raveled his fingers in her hair; he wanted to touch her everywhere all at once and she wanted the same. “Make love to me, Thomas,” she begged between kisses and sighs.

“I am, trust me, darling, I know what you need and want,” he whispered against the nape of her neck as he placed a light bite then licked it. He smiled as she moaned. “I love you, Desai. You have made me the happiest man in the universe. You are a goddess, allow me to worship you.” His right hand moved down and over the small baby bump, that she believed was huge, and into the waistband of her pants and further still, until he reached her soft wet folds. “So wet for me,” he murmured.

“Thomas,” she sighed then moaned as he tenderly stroked her bringing her to climax. He smiled as she shuddered in pleasure then began to cry.

“Shhh, my love,” he murmured as he gazed into her eyes. “I’ve only just started, we’ve got all night.”

Desai only sighed as she looked at her husband and he _was_ hers and she _was_ his. He kissed languidly down her throat, licking, sucking, and biting gently lazily as he tenderly helped her remove her blouse and then her pants. He lowered his head swiftly but gently taking one of her rosy buds into his mouth, immediately tonguing it so that he could feel how hard it was against the yielding muscle of his tongue.

“Thomas! Thomas, please,” She moaned.

His lips attached themselves to her neck and her hand disappeared in his hair. "So wet, so tight," he groaned as he slipped a finger inside her slick wetness and felt her body shudder again as she came around his finger.

She looked up, but before she could do anything Thomas stood up and lifted her into his arms and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He carried her into the bedroom where he gently lay her down kissing her lips as he pushed her back into the pillows.

Thomas cupped a breast and smiled as she arched into him, but he knew that it was not enough, not nearly enough for either of them.

Thomas stripped slowly watching as Desai licked her lips in anticipation. “Tell me what you want me to do, Desai. Tonight, is for you, my love.” He smiled at her as a delicious blush quickly appeared over her body.

“I want you to make love to me as slowly as possible. I want all of you.”

“Just relax, love, and enjoy what only I can provide. I have exactly what you need,” Thomas said in his Loki voice and what followed was nothing short of pure ecstasy. His finger traced up her slick folds and his tongue flicked her clit, Thomas inserted one finger while his mouth never left her throbbing swollen gem.

When a second finger was added she could feel a dizzying spell wash over her as her internal walls clamped around his fingers. He let out a raspy chuckle, amazed by the effect he was having on her.

Thomas brought his head back down between her legs and licked. She arched from the contact and let out a moan. He started tracing his tongue lightly over her dripping sex as he worked his two fingers inside, massaging her aching clit with his thumb. He groaned into her, causing vibrations that were driving her crazy.

She worked her hands into his hair, pushing him down deeper as he licked harder. She ground against his fingers as they plunged deeper. He added another finger and moved a little faster, making her moan. His tongue began circling her clit as she felt her orgasm begin.

“Come for me, darling,” he growled as wave after wave of pleasure crashed over her, she screamed his name as her walls clenched tightly around his fingers.

“You are so beautiful,” he murmured, running his hands down her sides and over her breasts. “So beautiful and so perfect.” She wanted to respond in some way, but all her words had left her. His hands were everywhere, running through her hair, caressing her back, and pressing over her hips to the curve of her backside. When one of his hands traveled slowly up over their baby bump and brushed over her breast, she moaned into his mouth and nearly screamed as he slowly entered her wetness, this time with his engorged cock.

“Thomas,” she whispered. “Oh, Thomas.”

***

They said, “I love you,” and kissed until the Captain let them know it was time to go.

“I’m, sorry, Ms. Alex – Mrs. Hiddleston and Mr. Hiddleston, but we need to leave there is some foul weather heading this way.”

She touched the Captain’s arm, “You be extra careful, and thank you for everything, Donal.”

“You’re very welcome, lass. You take care of yourself and those babes,” he said in his thick Scottish brogue then turned and entered the plane.

“I’ll call you tonight, Desai. Get some rest. I love you!” Tom waved and entered the plane, she turned as the door was closed because she didn’t want him to see her cry. She pulled out her phone and looked at the text she knew was from Thomas. His picture came on the screen with the words, _‘Please don’t cry. You mess up a beautiful face when you cry like that.’_

She texted back, _‘So says you. Not all of us can cry and still be pretty like you Hiddleston!’_ She swore she could hear his laughter as she turned to watch the aircraft move out and onto the tarmac. She was waving like an idiot and could see Thomas waving back.

****Long Distance** **

She turned her computer on. It was almost eleven pm, the time when she usually had her little Skype rendezvous with Thomas. He made her promise to Facetime or Skype him every day and he had looked at her so intensely, with his adorable puppy eyes, that she hadn’t been able to resist him, and she had promised she would be there no matter what time.

At first, he would just tell her how much he missed her, her company, her jokes, and he would blow kisses at her. They would have the sweetest conversations ever. She would ask him about his day, and he would do the same with her and there were days when he knew the babies had made her very sick. He often cried because he felt he was to blame. She would do her best to reassure him that it was all to do with her chemistry. Not his.

“I can’t live without you,” he had told her.

“I can’t live without you either. I miss your smile and your laughter. Your touch,” she had answered, and it had sealed it.

So, their sweet chats had slowly developed into something more... well, slightly more erotic. It had all started when he asked her to kiss him.

“Kiss you? I’d love to, but how? I can blow a kiss at you,” she said, laughing.

“Bend down to the computer and kiss the screen. I’ll do the same.”

She raised a brow as she laughed, “Why is it I think you’ve had experience with this before?” She laughed again as his face turned red. “Okay, let’s do this.” She leaned in close to the screen and their lips virtually met.

She felt like a complete fool at first, but strangely, it aroused her. She missed him. His kisses, his large knowledgeable hands, his breath in her ear, the way she would often rest her head on his shoulder after they made love. She missed his scent. Most of all, she missed his presence, especially in their bed, it was so cold without him, no one to cuddle during the night (well, Bobby was there), no one to wake her up with soft silent kisses on her neck or breasts in the morning.

She missed all those little moments that they shared, and knew he missed them too. That’s why she had accepted to kiss the screen. It couldn’t replace his lips, but as she had returned to her normal position in front of the computer, she had seen his eyes and they had been filled with lust. Unfortunately, he had had to leave, but not before making her swear to do anything he asked the next day.

So, she had connected the next night, expectant and nervous. _What will he ask of me,_ she wondered. When he had connected, she had seen the look on his face, and it had been positively mischievous. After he had greeted her and they had exchanged boring facts about their day, he had suddenly asked her to take off her top. A bit surprised, Desai had stared at the screen blankly and he had reminded her that she had sworn to do anything he asked. So, biting her lip, she removed her top.

“Slowly...” he said, and she did her best to comply in the most graceful method possible.

Sitting in her bra, she met his eyes and they had sparkled, more green than blue, as he had stared at her breasts.

“Remove your bra.”

“Thomas, can I ask you something?”

“Yes, darling, anything.”

“If I take off my bra, will you do the same for me?”

He laughed, throwing his head back, his tongue just barely sticking out of his mouth, and she felt impossibly turned on. “I don’t have any bra to remove, my darling girl!”

“You know what I mean, Thomas...”

He had stopped laughing and had looked into her eyes, dead serious. “I swear, if you take off your bra, you can ask me to take off anything you want...”

His voice, his eyes... At that instant, she wanted so much to touch him. Fuck the distance, she thought. _Why does he have to be so far away from me?_

“Darling? Will you remove your bra, now?”

She slowly unhooked it letting it slide down to the floor. He sighed at the sight of her tanned skin heaving with her accelerated breath.

“Our babies have made them bigger. Fuck! I want to touch you so bad!” he said, his eyes never leaving her breasts, his hand trailing down to his crotch.

“That’s not the only thing that’s bigger. I look as if I’m five months! Thomas?” she asked softly.

Her question startled him. His eyes met hers, questioningly. “My turn now, earendel ... Unbutton your shirt. Slowly.”

He was wearing that red plaid shirt, the one that even had a story of its own and it must have been very hot in Nevada, she noticed that he was a bit sweaty and the shirt was sexily sticking to his chest, outlining his fit body. As always, the first two buttons had been undone, revealing the skin and hair on his chest. He had started to undo the rest of them, button by button, and when he had finished, he had asked, “Now what, darling?”

“Take it off,” she answered, her voice suddenly hoarse with desire.

He pushed it off his shoulders as she stared at him, his chest rising and falling with his breath, his skin not quite as tanned as hers, but looking so delicious she wanted to lick him all over. Just at that moment, her phone rang, and the magic of the moment was lost forever. But every day after that, they played the same game, sometimes adding to it by touching and caressing themselves.

However, so far they kept it safe by not removing the lower part of their clothes. She told him she was uneasy with being completely naked in front of the camera. She knew he wanted more, but he respected her feelings and never asked her to do it. But today, she felt different. A little elated. A little euphoric. Probably because it had been a good day. No nausea or vomiting.

Sometimes they only talked but last night Thomas had told her that the next time they spoke it would be special and he was right, Thomas was waiting for her, with a huge bouquet of yellow roses, her favorites. “These are for you, my love.”

“Oh, Thomas, you really shouldn’t have...”

“To thank you, darling. I feel this evening will be something to remember,” he said, putting the flowers away.

He was wearing his grey see-through T-shirt and her throat suddenly became very dry as she envisioned his perfect chest through the thin material, his nipples erect. She licked her lips already imagining what he was going to ask her to do, and planning what she was going to ask of him.

“Let’s skip the niceties, shall we?” he suggested.

He was already looking at her cleavage, lust lingering in his eyes, making them even greener than normal. She thought it funny how his eyes, even though they were blue, always appeared greener when he was aroused or excited.

“You have dressed for the occasion, I see.”

Desai glanced at herself and, although she hadn’t really chosen the dress for that purpose, she had to admit that it was somewhat revealing. Her breasts bulged against the fabric as she took a deep slightly steadying breath. “Tell me what you want, Thomas.”

“Oh, you know very well what I want. You’ve been denying me for too long, now... Take off that dress.”

His tone was unmistakably commanding. She lifted her arms and gracefully removed the red dress, pulling it over her head. Then she shook her hair back into place, but a strand remained stuck on her forehead and she could see Thomas’s reaction through it, his chest suddenly rising and falling faster as his heartbeat quickened.

“You are so beautiful,” he whispered as he leaned close to the screen. Her pregnancy had made her abdomen larger over the past two months.

She could see his chest hair as he bent down through the V-neck of his T-shirt and she suddenly wanted to rip it off and fuck him hard on the floor of the bedroom he was in. She closed her eyes to shake the feeling, but her mind was filled with visions of his naked body and that did nothing to restrain her desire for him.

“What goes on in that pretty head of yours?” he asked, startling her.

She opened her eyes gasping in surprise. He removed his T-shirt and she involuntarily reached out to the screen as if to touch him and he chuckled.

“Already frustrated, love?”

“I miss you so much, Thomas...”

“I can help you release all your frustrations,” he said as his hand unfastened his belt buckle.

“Thomas, what are you doing? I didn’t ask you to do anything.”

He didn’t answer but looked at her while he unzipped his jeans then slide his hand in and over the fabric of his gray Calvin Klein’s. She stared at him as he pulled them off along with his jeans and began to rub himself, his mouth slightly open as Desai barely repressed a moan while he stroked harder and harder. She could feel the tension in her body coiling, needing release as she tried to breathe calmly but her heartbeat was pumping wildly as she shifted on the bed.

“Get rid of everything,” he ordered in a husky voice, still rubbing himself.

She knew it would eventually come to this, but still, it made her slightly uneasy, she shifted the computer around so that he could see her undress. She had no intention of disappointing him, so she unfastened her bra like a stripper then let it fall to the floor. She removed her panties in the same manner.

“Desai, darling get back on the bed.”

She shifted the computer then settled back down as she sat there with her legs closed. She could see that he was now completely naked his hard cock resting on his belly. She gasped, all her self-consciousness gone as her hand fairly flew to her wet cunt.

“Yes, darling. Go for it...” he said as he took his cock in his hand and started stroking it, using the pre-cum that was already glistening on the tip for lubrication.

“I miss you, Thomas!” she whispered as she opened her legs so that he had a perfect line of sight of her wet folds, her fingers, and the way those fingers found her clit and rubbed it fiercely. She bit her lip to suppress her moans as she watched his long elegant fingers going up and down on his glorious shaft.

“Don’t inhibit anything, baby. Just let go,” he said, leaning towards the screen, his eyes darkened with his lust.

“Fuck, Thomas, I want you inside my mouth.”

“Oh, yes, oh, God!” His rhythm quickened, he groaned, unable to contain his pleasure any more. She lay shaking on the bed, her walls clenching as she came. Then with a last stroke, he moaned, “Desai, take it … please take it,” as his seed began spurting in short thick ropes as his body spasmed with his release. At that moment his face revealed the most beautiful expression she had ever seen, his eyes half-closed, that beautiful mouth half-open sounding out a long moan.

He stayed like that for a while, then he looked at her as she lay shivering on the bed, and said, “We should do that more often, darling.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I remember how I felt when I was pregnant -- even though I lost the baby -- but those feelings will stay with me forever!


	23. Chapter Twenty-three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Desai finds a new companion. And finds out something that knocks Thomas off his feet.

The next three weeks the weather in London was off and on hot, then rain. Desai had just come from Diana’s and having dinner; they were becoming good friends again. Bobby was spending the weekend with nana so that Desai could hopefully catch up on some of her crafting and making sure the new editions to the house and yard were going well. She smiled as she looked out the window at the people walking about trying to stay dry from the spring rain then screamed, “Stop! Pull over!”

Her driver was about to ask her what was wrong when she bounded out of the car and ran over to a barely recognizable little animal and without a single thought about getting cold or wet she removed her scarf and wrapped the poor little imp in it then calmly returned to the car.

“Shhh, love. It’s okay now,” she softly spoke as she scratched lightly behind the little ball of thoroughly-sodden and muddy fluff’s ears, as she held it close to her. One look at those tiny adorable baby blues and she knew her heart was lost.

The puppy was sitting quietly on what was left of her lap, bundled up in her oversized scarf while they rode in the back seat toward home. Every once in a while a cold wet nose would nudge her wrist reminding her to continue to pay attention to her new-found companion. "Who would leave you out like that, love?"

Upon getting home Desai thanked her driver then headed straight for the bathroom. It was rainy and the little bundle of muddy fur was shaking. "A warm bath for you sweetheart is in order..."

There was no collar, no tattoo ID that she could see. She would definitely take him to the vet to see if he was chipped, but that would have to wait until tomorrow.

She contemplated the small dirty furry face staring back at her, "What shall we call you? There’s already a Bobby …"

“He'll be easier to name once he's clean,” she muttered to herself as she placed the small dirty bundle in the bath. The moment she turned the water on the puppy became a wiggling, yipping mass of excitement.

“That's two votes in favor of bath time. Excellent." Desai chuckled, "Sorry love, I don't have any puppy shampoo. We'll just add that to the list." Her shampoo would just have to do to get the dirt washed from her new friend's fur, "At least you'll smell nice... ‘cause you a stinky little boy." As she cleaned the perpetually-wriggling body the fur color continued to lighten ending up a mix of light to medium blond once bath time was over.

Desai scooped the puppy up in a towel and placed him on the floor so she could snap a quick picture before drying him off. When the puppy tried to bounce off the towel toward her she scooted him back again. "Hold on there kiddo," she laughed, "Staaaaay." After sending the photo to Thomas with an accompanying message of ‘ _Look what I found today!_ ’ she turned her attention back to rubbing the puppy's fur dry. Oakley or Magnus seemed a fitting name.

She scrolled, single-handed, through an internet search trying to match the body type to a breed of dog before giving up and searching for the closest vet. _They'll certainly be able to tell me what type of dog it is — and tell me why Oakley or Magnus is limping slightly._

Thomas's call came in just as Oakley or was it, Magnus, decided the towel was a chew toy. Desai tried to pull the towel from his mouth, which soon turned into a mini tug-of-war.

"No, Desai. Just no,” he said firmly as he listened to her giggles.

"But...why?"

The puppy abandoned the tug-of-war to yip at Desai's distracted playing.

"Desai, you can't be serious."

Desai laughed and scooped the puppy up into one arm to carry the little wiggle-worm into the other room. “Thomas, he was just out wandering the street. I had to do something."

Tom sighed, knowing this was a battle he had probably already lost. “You named him already, didn't you?"

“Yes, I did! His name is Oakley or Magnus!”

He chuckled at that. “What about, Bobby?”

“Bobby needs a buddy.”

“I have to go, darling. I’ll see you in another month. I love you, Desai.”

“I love you, earendel.”

The puppy turned out to be a cockapoo and it needed surgery to fix an umbilical hernia and a dislocated hip. Which Desai was told was probably the reason it was out on the street. She was sitting doing some crocheting when Thomas called her again the next day. “How’s my wife and babies?”

“We’re fine. Started having some cravings today.”

“Like what kind of cravings?”

“Cheeseburgers. Bacon cheeseburgers, to be exact with baked sweet potatoes. Which I can have. I need the extra protein and calories.”

Tom heard some unusual background noise. “What’s that racket?”

“I’m at the Emergency Vet Clinic.”

“Is Bobby –”

“Bobby is fine and with his grand mum this week. I’m here with Oakley. Bless his heart the poor little thing …”

“Desai love we don’t need another dog. I appreciate what you are doing, sweetheart, but we don’t need another baby right now.”

She heard him but chose to ignore him and kept on as if he’d not spoken, “The vet said they probably left him on the street because he wasn’t ideal for making a profit. Can you imagine? They just tossed him out like garbage and expected a two-month-old puppy to fend for itself! I can’t believe someone could be so vile and thoughtless! And he’s so sweet, Thomas.”

Thomas rubbed his face, as he shook his head not believing he was saying, “Okay, we’ll keep him.”

“I already knew that,” he could see her smirk and he laughed. “I love you, my crazy, beautiful wife.” He leaned back in his chair, “It seems like forever since I’ve seen you. I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too and more than a little. I have an appointment on Monday for an ultrasound, they want to make sure the babies are growing as they should and the doctor said the last one came out blurred or something. It’s like they don’t want us knowing what they are.” She giggled a little.

“But the Little Hiddles are fine, right?” he asked worriedly.

“She said they were, and I have been sticking to the diet and eating lots of fresh fruit and veggies and lots of protein but no fish. They said no fish until after I deliver. And of course, I’ve been sick a lot but we both know that’s part of this.” I looked up at the doctor as he came into the waiting room. “Thomas? Can you hold on for a minute?”

“Sure, love,” he said as he listened to the conversation.

“Oakley came through the surgery fine, while he was out we put his hip back in place, once he heals up he’s going to be a healthy growing puppy. I would like to keep him here until at least Monday and make sure he gets rehydrated.”

“That’s fine, doctor, and thank you.” She smiled and turned her attention back to her husband, “Did you hear that, love?”

“I did. Sounds as if you found the little guy just in time.”

“Yep.” She smiled and Tom could see her in his mind. “Would you like for me to wait until you get home to have the ultrasound?” She had an idea of what was going on, but she wanted to hear it from the doctor first. She only smiled to herself.

“No, sweetheart. As long as everything is fine like you’ve told me then there’s no need. You can email me the results, okay?”

“Okay. Did you get the other emails? Or should I send them to your phone?”

“Either one, love, sorry I have to go. I love you, Desai Hiddleston.”

“And I love you, Thomas Hiddleston.”

***

“Thomas,” Desai spoke nervously as she sat on the couch petting, Bobby and Oakley. _How was I going to tell him? How was he going to take the news?_

“What’s wrong?” he asked fearfully. “Desai, are you alright?” His voice had risen in volume and as it did she heard the background noise go completely silent.

“I’m fine, Thomas, – but – are you sitting down?” She twisted her hair around her finger as she fidgeted trying to get comfortable.

“Yes,” he lied. _Whatever she had to tell him he would take it like a man._

Standing.

“Darling, my earendel, we’re not having twins,” she said as she stood and began to pace. Which was really more like a waddle-walk at her sixteen-week stage of the pregnancy.

“No?” he was confused. “The doctor assured us that you were carrying twins.” He swiped his forehead with a shaky hand as he asked, “Desai, what happened? Are you in trouble, have you miscarried the babies?”

“No, Thomas, I’m still very pregnant, but ummm, the –” she began as she stopped and turned to go to Thomas’s piano.

“I’m putting you on speaker, love,” he said.

“— ultrasound shows we’re having quadruplets. Four babies.”

“What?!” he screamed sounding like a very frightened young woman. His legs disappeared as did his thoughts as a dizzy feeling came over him and a grayness encompassed him.

“Two separate sets of twins!” she exclaimed just as she heard a thump then a commotion and a stranger’s voice, “He’s fainted. Get the doctor.”

“Oh! Oh, no!” She began to cry. “I’m sorry! Darling, I’m so sorry!”

A familiar voice came on, with a thick Australian accent, “Hey, Dee! What are you trying to do – get all the kids out of the way at once?” Chris was laughing. “I’m going to have a talk with this British brother of mine once he comes to and ask him what he did.” He laughed again. “I love you, sister of mine. Is there anything I can do for you?”

“I need two more Viking cradles and two more of everything I bought!” she wailed as she swiped at the tears streaming down her face.

“Oh, sis. It’ll be alright,” he soothed.

“That’s easy for you to say, you big blond goofy-head!” She was crying so hard now that she had to sit down. “Is Thomas okay?” she sniffled.

“He’s coming to. The doctor is having a look at him right now.”

“Tell him I love him and that I’m so, so, sorry.” She hung up before he could say anything else. She looked down and saw their two beautiful fur-babies looking up at her then both of them sitting pretty, front paws on her knees with their noses on her thighs. “What am I gonna do kids?” she asked as much to the dogs as she did to the babies she was carrying.

She answered her phone, knowing it was Thomas. “I want to see them!” he said excitedly. “Send me –”

“I sent them to your phone and email,” she sniffed. “Along with pictures of me and my progress.” 

“Why are you crying?” he asked quietly. “I love you.”

“I love you too, but you fainted. And you told me the other day we didn’t need any more babies – and –”

Tom rubbed his face, it had been two months since he had seen his wife in the flesh, Skype was good but he felt that it distorted her image. Surely she was not as big as she looked on Skype. No matter she was the absolute love of his life. “Desai, my love, I was shocked and scared something had happened to you and our babies. But don’t you ever think that I would not want you and those precious souls you carry.”

She sniffled again, “I know. I know. It’s the hormones. With me carrying four it’s – everything is quadrupled. I know that, but I feel like all I do is cry all the time now. I mean I burst out at the grocery over a picture! A fucking picture, Thomas!”

“A picture of what?” he asked tenderly.

“You as _The Night Manager_ on the front of a DVD. Then the insensitive cow next to me asked me what was wrong and all I could do was point.” Then she imitated how the woman talked as she continued, “She said, _‘I know, and the bastard had enough gall to get married. I would love to be his wife if you catch my drift.’_ I almost slapped her as she went on with, _‘If I was that man’s wife I’d never let him out of the bedroom. No matter how much he screamed to get out. I would chain him down.’_ ” I sniffled again and said, “Had she stuck around I was going to tell her I was your wife!”

Tom wanted to laugh, and coughed to cover it up, he was not about to hurt her feelings if he could help it. “Love, I’ll be home before long. Now, Could you help me with figuring out this ultrasound?”

She heard someone in the background, then, “Hey sis! I want to know what you got in there! And to give support to this brother of mine!”

“I love you too, Chris,” she said as she heard the phone go on speaker. “The top image is of the identical twins … boys. You can see their little pee-pees. The bottom image is of the girls and they are probably not identical but we aren’t sure.”

She could hear Chris laughing hysterically because he and Elsa had twin boys. “Little pee-pees.”

She smiled as she heard Thomas trying to get Chris to shut up. “Does that mean …”

“It means that when I got pregnant your fantastic swimmers fertilized at least two eggs the doctor thinks three because she’s not entirely sure that the girls are identical. Don’t ask me why my body released two or three and don’t ask me why one egg split in two to become identical twins because I have no idea, Thomas. All I know is that we are having a set of identical boys and twin girls. It’s crazy and I love you.”

Chris was still laughing, “God, bro! Four?!” He was cackling as Desai heard him get on his phone and tell Elsa.

“Love, what did the doctor say?” Tom was motioning for Chris to be quiet to no avail. He really was like a very large rambunctious puppy at times. “Chris! Shut up! I can’t hear her!”

“I have to take it easy because this is putting quite a bit of strain on my body and bladder. I have to wear compression stockings and I’m not allowed to pick up much of anything now, and I’ve begun wearing adult diapers to save my dignity and clothes. I have no idea which one it is, but one of the boys, I ****_know_**** is going to be really good at Rugby or Soccer because he has perfect aim on my bladder.” She sighed deeply, “But it’s all worth it. The crazy morning sickness, the bladder spasms, the not being able to do what I used to. I’d go through it a thousand times over to give you children. You are such a good man, Thomas, and I love you with all my heart earendel.”

“Where are you? Are you alone?”

“Right now, yeah, just me and all our babies. They walk with me –”

“You’ve been walking?! Alone?!”

“No. Bobby and Oakley –”

“I mean with a human!”

“Don’t yell at me!” She sobbed as she hung up on him and text him, _‘I will not take being talked to like I’m an idiot, not from you, not from anyone – and especially not now!’_ She was once again a blubbering mess as she answered the phone.

“Don’t you hang up on me, Desai. You know I hate it.”

“Aww, poor thing, hates being hung up on. What’re you gonna do? Give me a spanking?”

“That’s a damn good idea!”

“Don’t know how you plan on doing that! I’m too big to lay over your knees!” She stuck her tongue out.

“What?” he asked in surprise. Surely Skype …

“I thought you would have noticed when we Skype! Oh, I guess my belly wasn’t what you were focused on, huh? You haven’t been checking the pics I sent have you?” She waited for a few seconds. “You’re checking them now, aren’t you?” She sighed, “Thomas, I know you’ve been busy and it’s not your fault. Mine probably got mixed up with something that looked like trash or spam. I know you wouldn’t just throw them away. Would you?”

“NO!” he bellowed again.

“Geesh, sorry I asked,” She was blubbering again.

“OH. MY. GOD! Desai? That’s not –”

“— me in all my glory. Changed a bit since you saw me last, huh?”

“Darling, had I known – I would have stayed with you. We’ve got about three more weeks and I’m doing my damnedest to get everything I can get done, done.”

She heard Chris in the background again laughing and then boomed, “You look like a whale!”

“Thanks so very much, Chris, now if I wear black and white to the beach I can be mistaken for an Orca!” She hung up when she heard him and someone else who sounded a lot like Thomas laughing.

_And I didn’t answer the phone when Thomas called back, nor did I answer Chris. And no … I did not answer back when they both text me._

***

“Brother, you’re in a shitload of trouble,” Chris said as he looked at Tom after they had gone over their lines for the next day.

“No thanks to you.” Tom sighed, "Just don't say things like that, not to her. She's been hurt so much."

“I wasn’t the only one laughing. Your stunt guy sounds just like you! He thought it was funny. My God I’ve never seen anything like that! She’s huge! She looks like she’s about ready to deliver!” He was still laughing when he walked out.

“I saw that, but Chris, she’s only four months along. I’m worried.”

“She’ll be alright, bro, women are built for having babies. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Tom locked his door and turned out the lights. He was about to call his mum when she called him, “Hello, mum.”

“What _the hell_ is wrong with you?! You _never_ laugh at a pregnant woman! Especially not your wife! She’s carrying four little ones! What the _fuck_ were you thinking?!”

“It wasn’t me laughing at her. I wouldn’t do that! I was just about to tell her it wasn’t me when she hung up and she will not answer her phone or her texts.”

“Can you blame her?!” She paused a moment and then started up again, “And for you not to check your emails or the pictures she’s sent you, what’s with that? Thomas William Hiddleston, you were raised better. Desai is in there right now hooked up to two different kinds of IV drips and crying herself to sleep because she thinks you think she’s fat and ugly! A whale! Who the hell calls a pregnant woman a whale?!”

He groaned, “Oh, God. Mum, I nev –” He did a facepalm as his mum kept ranting.

“I don’t give a damn what you didn’t do, Thomas! You hurt that girl whether you meant to or not and God knows I’ve hurt her more than enough. I love her as another daughter, and I am staying here with her until you get home. I have no idea what I would have done had I ever been through what she’s been through. I hate myself for how I’ve acted toward her and she didn’t do anything but love you. And she’s forgiven me – without any questions, I’ve never met anyone like her. She told me she loved you when she and I went out shopping that first time. All I can say that it must have been a temporary lapse in my sanity.”

“Is she asleep?” he asked finally able to get a word in.

“I’ll check and see.” She opened the door a crack to hear Desai sobbing. “No, she’s still crying.”

“Give her your phone, please.”

“Desai, honey, it’s Tom. He wants to talk to you.”

“He’s just saying that.” He could hear her sob as she took a shaky breath. It made him feel like dirt. “He made fun of me. Him and Chris. I know I’m fat! I know I’m a whale!”

“Mum, place the phone by her ear, please.” All he could hear at first were her gasps for air, sobs, and sniffling. “I love you. Please, my one and only. I’m so stup –”

“You are not stupid, don’t say that,” she said to him. “Let me call you on my phone, mum’s phone is almost dead.”

“K.”

She handed the phone back to Diana and told her about her battery, then called Thomas. She smiled as she heard his voice, “Hello, love. I miss you, and I am truly sorry that you got your feelings hurt.”

“No need to be, I am as big as a whale.”

“You’re pregnant, with Little Hiddles!” he laughed. “And you have no idea how proud I am of that. Or how much I love you for it.”

“Who make their mama go piddles all the livelong day.” She giggled.

He sniffled, as he felt his eyes burn, “I wanted to explain – and please let me finish … it wasn’t me who was laughing at you. I want you to know that I would never do that. It was one of my stunt doubles and he can sound just like me, it was maddening to hear him and Chris laughing, and I told them so. I lost my temper.”

“You lost your temper?” She was in awe, he never, well rarely lost his temper.

“Yes, I did. I will not tolerate anyone talking about my wife like that. Did the doctor say anything else to you?” Tom was more than a little concerned about his wife. He worried about her.

“She said that I won't be able to have them naturally, which means a C-section, but I already knew that. I thought that when she was talking about a shadow that it was just one more, not two. I was expecting to hear triplets, but not quadruplets. I was just as shocked as you.”

“Did you faint?”

“No.”

“Then you were not as shocked as me,” he said with a light laugh.

“Thomas, I feel as if I’m on a rollercoaster of emotion. It’s worse this time than before. I cry and get mad and cry and I feel like I’ve ruined your life –”

“Stop it. Stop it. You haven’t ruined anything. You have made me so very happy and I will tell you this. This is the last time I’ll be gone while you’re pregnant.”

“Well, it’s gonna be a while my love before we think about having more children.”

“I agree, love. Four at a time … wow. We outdid ourselves, darling.”

She giggled, “It’s all your fault you horn dog. You and those handcuffs, and chocolate syrup.”

“You really think that’s when I got you pregnant?” he asked excitedly.

“I would like to think so… but I would be farther along, but no matter I’d do it all again. How was your day today … I mean besides me shocking you?”

“I’ve thought about you all day to the point of distraction. I knew I should have called you so I could have been with you at least on facetime during our ultrasound. I could feel your anxiety.”

“That’s so sweet, Thomas. I love you, but I need to let you go, it’s 1 pm here and if I’m right it’s 4 am there. You need your sleep, earendel.”

“I’ll get my sleep. Desai,” he began seriously, “are you going to be okay? I mean really? Honey, you’ve got five –”

“— more months to go. And I’ll be fine. Please do not let me interrupt your schedule. If you were here all you’d be doing is listening to me fart and groan because I pissed myself, every time I or the babies move. I’d rather you not be witness to that. Especially me farting.” She laughed as he laughed. “I’m not kidding. I scared Bobby and Oakley a couple days ago. I think they thought it was an invasion or something. They didn’t realize it was me though because they ran right back to me, but I’m pretty sure they figured it out after they got a whiff that it was me.”

She smiled when she heard him, it started out as an “Ehehehehe.” And ended up as a full-blown out and out guffaw.

“I needed to hear that. I love you, Thomas, I know where you are, and I’ll be calling you, or I suppose it would be better for you to call me. I sleep a lot now and I’m taking more prenatal vitamins per doctor’s orders.” She laughed, “By the time you see me again … you won’t be able to reach around me.” She sniffled. “I doubt you could reach around me now.”

“What is it love?” he asked tenderly, wanting to somehow be able to reach through the phone and touch her. “Please, don’t cry, you just mess up a beautiful face when you cry.”

“When I send you emails, and pictures promise you’ll open them.”

She sounded like a little girl who had lost a favorite toy and he felt so guilty about thinking they were spam. “I promise you I will check my emails daily and I’ll send you pictures too.” He yawned, “I love you, Desai, never forget that. Send me a picture of you right now. To my phone, I want to see you.”

“Okay,” She raised up a little on the pillows and took a selfie, checked it then sent it. “How’s that?”

“My God, but you are beautiful! I love you, Desai!”

“I love you, Thomas, my earendel, goodnight sweetheart, from all of us.” She took another picture, sent it, and was able to hold it together until she hung up, and then the sobbing began again. She placed her phone on the charger and lay on her left side on Thomas’s side of the bed. Bobby curled up around the curve of her belly and Oakley lay at her back with one of his legs resting on her extended belly. Between the two of them and their warmth, she was asleep within minutes.

Diana opened the door to ask if Desai wanted anything to eat, she knew Desai was still having morning sickness; quite severe even though her doctors had agreed to place her on a Zofran drip for her nausea and a Magnesium IV. They had said at this stage in her pregnancy it would help her not go into premature labor although it made her sick and weak. It helped but Diana didn’t think it helped enough. She smiled as she saw Desai asleep with her ‘fur-babies’. “I love you, Desai,” she said tenderly as she softly closed the door.

***

Thomas came home a week early, to surprise Desai and his mum, he was the one surprised. Oakley, the ‘little puppy’ was bigger than Bobby, and his wife looked miserable. And everything in the house had been rearranged. He was about to say something about the newly redesigned kitchen but thought better of it. His mind was solely on his wife. “Desai, oh my love,” he said wrapping his arms around her then kissing her deeply as he rocked side-to-side with her in his arms. He reveled in the way she felt, oh how he had missed her!

“I’ve missed you so very much, earendel. I love you,” she replied breathlessly. She hugged him as tightly as she could. “I told you that you wouldn’t be able to reach around me.”

He smiled as he murmured into her hair, “You’re pregnant, darling and you are the most beautiful woman in the entire universe, and I love you no matter what.” He joined his hands around her middle, “I can so reach around you with room to spare,” he said as proved he could do so as he lay his head on top of hers then kissed it. “I’ve missed you, love, so much.”

“Tom! You’re home early!” Diana exclaimed as she looked at her son and daughter-in-law. “Desai, Tom, do you want me to make supper?” Diana asked with a smile as Tom reluctantly released his wife then gathered his mother into his arms.

“I love you, mum, and thank you for staying with Desai.”

“She’s my daughter. I love her, Tom.” She then whispered, “She’s been really tired, those babies are taking so much of her energy. Please, keep a watch on her.”

“Are you leaving?” they asked in unison.

“Unless you want me to make dinner. You two need to be alone. I’ll be back tomorrow with the things on the list for you sweetheart. I love you, daughter of mine.”

“I love you too, mum,” Desai said as she hugged her mother-in-law. “Be careful going home.”

“I will, lovey.” Smiling she waved at them as she left.

“I’ve wanted to do this for so very long,” she said softly as she traced his face with her fingertip. “I’ve never seen you with a full beard. It’s so soft! I like it, don’t shave until you have to.”

“You really like all this fur?” he asked smiling from ear to ear.

“I do, husband mine. And I can’t wait to feel it against my skin.” She stood on her tiptoes and rubbed her face against his like a cat. “I need you, Thomas, inside me,” she begged.

He placed his hands on her shoulders, looking into her eyes he asked, “What did the doctor say about sex at this stage of pregnancy?”

She smirked, “Well definitely not missionary.”

“I’m being serious, darling,” he spoke softly as he moved a strand of hair around her ear. “I’ve read about pregnancy sex with multiples, and Chris filled me in too. It could be dangerous for the babies.”

She nodded, “I am being serious and I know you are, but the doctor told me that as long as we take it easy and she suggested some different positions, even gave me a booklet… positions that I don’t think we’ve tried before; I’m sure we’ll be okay.” She poked him in the chest, “You just let Loki know no rough stuff, these are his kids too.”

He gave one of his ehehehehehe laughs and hugged her to him. “Loki will be on his very best behavior, love.” He looked around, “Where’s your nurse?”

“She’s gone out to get some supplies from the pharmacy,” she sighed. “More fluids and antiemetic medication for my drip. They were supposed to be delivered but something happened with the order.”

“Oh, love. You’ve gone through so much, but we’ll make it through this together.” He kissed her forehead. “How about we go lie down and lock the bedroom door. We can put out a do not disturb sign.”

“Sounds like a plan to me.” She grinned as she looked up at him, “Want to race?”

When he started laughing she took off and the race was over she made it to their bedroom first. He stood there watching her run-waddle knowing full well he could overtake her, but just seeing her happy made his eyes water. She was so beautiful like a goddess really. Full of life, the life he had helped put inside her.

As he walked into the bedroom she shouted with her arms out wide, “I win! So take those clothes off! I want to see my husband naked!”

He began to pull his red jumper off as she walked toward him when she reached him she placed her hands against his chest and felt his sharp intake of breath at her touch. “I’ve missed you… this… us.” She leaned into him and began nibbling at his neck then going lower with her lips enjoying the goosebumps she was putting across his body.

“I need you, Desai. I’m so hard it hurts.”

“I’m so wet… I’m dripping,” she murmured as she licked from one of his nipples to the other and then down the middle of his chest across his stomach and lower then she looked at him as she unfastened his belt and pants letting them drop to the floor. She smiled, “You’re not wearing underwear. That eager?”

“Can I pick you up?” he asked. “Bridal style.”

“I suppose so. I’ve gained about twenty pounds which is – whoop!” she squealed as he lifted her carefully but quickly and walked with her to the bed. “I love it when you go all caveman on me,” she said as she caressed his beard and gazed into his eyes.

He couldn’t take his eyes off hers as he lay her gently on the bed, “Comfortable?” he asked as he braced himself over her breasts with the rest of his body on the bed.

“Ummmhmmm,” she was still caressing his beard when he began to kiss her neck and across her collar bones. She could feel his smile as she moaned his name but he didn’t stop until he reached her extended abdomen. She looked questioningly at him, “Something wrong?”

“Where are the girls?” he asked softly.

She grasped his hand and moved it to her right side, “The boys are here on the left.”

She began crying when he started talking, “I know you haven’t heard my voice in a while, but this is your dad and I’ll be talking to you every day now that I’m home and with mummy. I cannot wait to see all of you, but I want you to stay put for a while longer. We both want you healthy and happy. I love all of you… I’ve missed you so very much,” he placed kisses all over her belly, stopping as he saw a small object attached to the right side of her belly. “What’s this?” he asked as he looked at her.

“It’s my Zofran drip, it’s continuous so it helps keep me from being so sick,” she said as she ran her fingers through his hair feeling his tears fall onto her skin. “Thomas, shhh, we’re all fine. My nausea is not your fault, earendel. It’s my chemistry, not yours.”

“I’m just so full of emotion,” he cried as he made his way back up to her face. “I love you, and those words cannot begin to convey how I feel. You. Are. My. Life. There will never be another. Please, believe that.”

“Oh, darling I do. I do. There’ll never be anyone else for me. You are it.” She smiled and kissed him. “Look I know you’re tired from the flight, the work, and the worry … why don’t we just cover up, cuddle up, and then when we wake up,” she wiggled her brows, “we make love?”

He nodded still crying and curled himself around her as they faced each other. He wasn’t sure how long they slept but it was dark outside when his eyes flew open then he grinned as he heard Desai say, “Oh, you little shit. Is it really necessary to kick that fucking hard?”

Tom moved his hand to where the baby was kicking and it immediately stopped. “What did I do?” he asked concerned.

“I think they already know that when daddy is around they had better listen to you.”

He barely moved his hand and the baby kicked again, he giggled. “Stop it, you.” He placed his hand back on the spot and got kicked for his trouble. “Oohhh, so it’s like that is it?” He looked at Desai, “This one is trouble already. I’m in for it.”

“Maybe payback for things you did in your childhood?”

“Oh, God,” he said as he placed his face by where the baby was moving. “This is your dad. Do you know what you’re doing?” Just then all four of them decided to wake up. He could see her belly moving, as he lay there he felt another kick from a different angle. He was fascinated.

Desai smiled as she watched the wonder on his face. He was like a child seeing fireworks for the first time or getting a present. Well, these children were a gift … for the both of them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had fun with this chapter. I remembered when my husband found out we were having triplets, he passed out. That's where I got the storyline about Thomas.


	24. Chapter Twenty-four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pregnant sex. Hospital. Tears and kindness.

Thomas looked at her in the early morning light that was streaming through the curtains then moved to kiss her, "You, my dearest girl, are the most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on," he confessed to her in a murmur, brushing his lips against hers softly. "You could wear a hessian bag and I still wouldn't be able to keep my hands off you."

She hummed into his next kiss, leaning into him and cupping a hand around his neck. "Thank you," she said, and then reached out to caress his face.

"You are so perfect and I'm really trying not to fuck you senseless right now," he said gently caressing her belly.

She raised an eyebrow, the image of nerves vanishing for an instant as she realized how much he was affected by the sight of her and her by him. The flash of her familiar smile made him swallow a groan, and she leaned back into the bed hands supporting her as she pushed her chest slightly forward, an offering and tease at once.

"Well maybe you should _stop_ trying," Desai suggested, beckoning him closer and who was he to refuse such an offer?

He kissed her hungrily then began to place open-mouthed kisses across her breasts and down to her navel, making her squirm impatiently as his beard scratched against the sides of her breasts the skin tender from growth. They both moaned as he caught one of her nipples in his mouth.

He fell into her touch, gripping her hips and shifting her higher up in the bed; lifting her up as gently as he could while his hands roamed her sides. She was warm and soft and absolutely perfect, and he couldn't get enough of her. He watched her back arch as she pressed herself up further towards him in an offering and a plea. His fingers found their place at her opposite breast; pinching tight enough against her nub to make her gasp and twist underneath him.

"Oh, fuck, Thomas," she breathed curling her hands into his hair.

"You've gotten even more sensitive, haven't you?" he asked in a murmur as he pressed a parting kiss between the valley of her breasts before he trailed down, hands bracing on either thigh as he coaxed her legs apart. "Fuck, but you _are_ stunning, aren't you?"

Desai spread her legs wide for him, letting him slide between them, and was jolted at the first kiss to her inner thigh. The skin was sensitive his beard scratching in a way that was not unpleasant, moaning as his lips did wonderful and erotic things to her.

"There we are," he hummed, glancing up to meet her eyes with a flicker of mischief. "Look at how wet you are for me, darling."

"I told you," she inhaled sharply as one of his fingers dove between her lips, gathering the evidence of her arousal and bringing it to his mouth. Desai couldn't tear her eyes away as he tasted her, and he chuckled at the sight of the furious blush spreading across her cheeks and body.

"Forgive my _greed_ , my dear. But it's been too long," he murmured, before delving back down to get a proper taste of her.

She arched with a gasp as he teased her, his tongue flickering around the base of her clit in slow but firm circles, the feeling of his beard coarse yet soft against her. One of his fingers slid inside her, and she groaned it wasn't enough, and Thomas knew it.

"Thomas, please," Desai sighed, hand tugging at his hair. He groaned at the pull, relenting and sliding another finger inside her. The stretch made her gasp, eyes falling shut to savor the feeling. "Oh, it's been so long!"

"You're _perfect,_ " he murmured, withdrawing his fingers from her and rising to swallow her protesting groan with a kiss. His hands pulled at her hips, twisting them until they were on their sides; her back pressed firmly to him as he aligned himself at her entrance. Tom's lips trailed down the side of her neck, whispering Je t'aime pour toujours (I love you forever) into her ear as he pushed inside her.

Her head tilted back with a gasp as she rested against him feeling him fill her, she was so sensitive that she could feel every nuance of his hardened member, every vein, and the head – that delicious and glorious head of his cock. There was perhaps some guilty pleasure with how she relished the feeling of his cock inside her, how it anchored her and the warmth of him was enough to make her melt and sink into his touch and crave more. It had been too long since he was with her like this.

" _Fuck_ ," she muttered, one hand reaching back to clutch at his hip; a primal part of her wanting him closer and deeper.

His fingers tightened on her hip as he began to move; rocking into her slowly. The pull of him made her instinctively clench down, wanting to keep him inside her but also loving the brush of him against the sensitive sides of her walls.

He found a rhythm quickly Desai's body familiar to him, yet unfamiliar too. He had been gone too long away from her. His fingers mapped out the places to tease and stroke to make her unravel. She leaned into him matching his thrusts and trying to meet his pace in turn, giving him such sweet little gasps, moans, and whines.

"Listen at you," he hissed sexily into her ear, fingers tight enough to leave a mark on her hip as he pulled her back and tightly against him forgetting everything except finding release. "That's it love, fuck me," he whispered as he began snapping his hips into her in a sudden shallow but fast pace. His cock twitched at the startled pants she gave, making him groan and bury his head into the crook of her neck. "You make such pretty sounds for me, darling. Are you going to cum for me, my love? My, darling girl, I've been so lost without you. I dreamt of you. You made me have wet dreams, my darlingest girl. Oh, please cum with me, baby."

His pace became rough as he gripped her bare skin feeling her warmth against him just as irresistible as she always was. Desai bowed slightly and pushed back into his thrusts, building into a moan as she felt herself tightening with every rock into her.

"Yes, Thomas," she answered him in a rush of a breath, dangerously close to gasping. "Yes, I want to cum. I want you to make me cum, Thomas, _please, baby, oh please, baby._ "

He groaned into her ear, pressing kisses to the side of her neck and nipping gently with a hint of teeth to make her squirm. "There's my good girl," he said his hand roaming across her breasts and belly.

She moaned loudly as his fingers briefly tugged at her nipple again, sensitive enough to make her twist in his grasp unsure if she wanted to pull away or push forward. "I want you to cum on my cock, pet. I want you to show me how fucking _perfect_ you are. And you are perfect."

He was faster now, and it was harder for her to focus on matching him each of his thrusts making her head a little foggier and the ache between her thighs burn just a little hotter. His wandering hand fell to her leg, pulling her back slightly to help push him deeper.

She couldn't help her surprised squeal as his fingers circled her clit, trailing the path his tongue had taken earlier and teasing her onto the brink as his touch felt like a line of white-hot fire. His rhythm was faltering, losing his pace, and control as he approached his own end, and his hand moved quickly against her nub.

"Fuck, I love you," he whispered, coaxing her to turn her head so he could catch her lips in a hungry kiss. "Cum for me, darling."

Her legs twitched against him as she did exactly that letting out a strangled gasping cry of his name as she unraveled around him. The clenching of her walls pushed him over the edge and he buried himself deep with a groan as she milked his release with her aftershocks. Desai's legs were twitching, and she had to bat his hand away from her clit, too sensitive to handle more touch even while the last waves of her release still rolled through her.

They lay together in a golden sort of haze for a few minutes, Desai enjoying his warmth and the safety that rolled over her as she curled back into his chest. His arm was tight and possessive around her midsection holding her to him and brushing against the bulge of her abdomen.

"Thomas, I love you."

He hummed and rested his chin on the top of her head content with his wife, satisfied and safe in his arms. "I love you too," he murmured.

***

Two months later Desai was seeing her doctor for a regular visit when she was told that she would need to be admitted just as a precaution. "But I feel fine!" Desai complained. "I've been wearing these compression hose and ..."

"You're at the edge of viability at 24 weeks and this is not an unusual thing for multiples. We will be hooking you up to another Magnesium IV drip that as you already know can or will make you really nauseated but will stop the contractions. That's what you've been feeling – light contractions. If needed I will prescribe you Indocin that will stop them. But you, my dear, are going into a room. Today. No arguments."

Desai nodded, "Thomas needs to know."

"Where is he?" her doctor asked.

"At rehearsal." She glanced at her watch, "He should be finished by now."

The doctor called Thomas and as soon as he saw the number he became nervous. "Hello? What's wrong?"

The doctor explained to him what was going on and he asked, "How long will she be in the hospital?"

"Until she delivers, which is something I am trying to prolong. Tom, if she gives birth now, it's very unlikely that any of the babies would survive."

"Wow, I had no idea. She's not complained – not even with the sickness she's had."

"I know she's a trooper and that's one reason I want her here where we can observe her and the babies."

"Of course, doctor, I understand." He disconnected then sat heavily in his makeup chair. His phone chimed it was Desai. "Darling? Are you alright?"

"Thomas, I'm so sorry. I had no idea that I was having light contractions. I'm fine and so are the Little Hiddles. Please, please, don't worry."

"Have you forgotten I took a vow and so did you and I know you meant them just as I did and still do. I love you, Desai Olivia Hiddleston and I always will." He sighed as she began to cry, "Oh, please, love, please, don't cry. You've done nothing wrong. Those Little Hiddles just need to stay put for a while longer. That means you will stay in bed."

"I'm always in the hospital! I hate it!" she groaned. "And right now I feel like an astronaut! I've got so much stuff hooked up," she let out a frustrated puff of air. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be thinking about myself. I should be worried about you and the Little Hiddles." She laughed a little. "I'm blessed to have a husband who loves me no matter what and I am blessed to have not one but four lives growing inside me. I'll endure whatever I have to for these little souls and for their father." She sighed heavily.

"God, I love you. Does mum, Da', and Jack know?" he asked lovingly.

"No. I haven't called anyone but you, earendel."

"I'll take care of it. You. Rest. I'll be there as soon as I grab a bag from home and get a shower. Okay?"

"Take your time, sweetheart. I'm not going anywhere. Give the fur-babes a hug and kiss for me, please. And tell them mummy loves them very much!"

He smiled, "I will, love."

When he walked into her room he was shocked at all the equipment, IV pump, and the contraption they had hooked up to Desai. "What's that?" he asked as he stared at the four adjustable belts that surrounded her very pregnant abdomen. 

"Oh, this? This is my newest 'torture device' I will be doing this daily until the Little Hiddles get here. It monitors their individual heart rates at the same time and I have to keep it on for about 30 to 45 minutes a day. And these --" she waved to her legs "—are my sexy new   
die Strumpfwaren (hose). Isn't the blue pretty?"

Tom laughed, “They monitor the heartbeats all at the same time?”

“Yep, babe. Have a seat and sit a spell. But first, you better give me a kiss. I have not had a kiss since this morning when you left for rehearsal.”

“Gladly, my darling, I love you,” he said just before gave her a long but tender kiss. “So tell me how this all works,” he said as he placed his overnight bag on the large sofa that was in her private room then took a seat by her bed so that he could hold her hand. He began watching the machine that was hooked up to her abdomen and noticed that there were four numbers. “Are those the babies’ heartbeats?” he asked excitedly.

She grinned, “Yes, the top two are the boys and the bottom ones are the girls.” She smiled softly at him, “Say something to them and see what happens.”

“Hey, this is daddy.” The smile on his face could not have gotten any bigger as the heart rates increased a little.

“They love your voice, Tom. Do you usually talk to them?” the doctor asked as she came in.

“I do. Every chance I get throughout the day, every day,” he said as he gave Desai’s hand a light kiss. “Desai was explaining how all of this has to be set up.”

“Yes, she’s a trooper. Not one complaint while we located each of the heartbeats and one of the little ones was being difficult but we finally got the last monitor on. I know it’s uncomfortable for Desai but it really gives us a good view so to speak of their heart stability and that there are no blips or other potential issues.” She sat on the bed and patted Desai’s leg as she smiled at her then Tom.

“I know that Desai hasn’t had any complications but she is carrying quite a lot and it is taking a toll on her. Her body is doing its very best to get not only nutrients but oxygen to four other beings besides herself. I want her and you to have the best chance at having four healthy babies. And as I said and told Desai delivering now – if they did survive they would be in hospital for months and be very premature,” she said softly. “The percentage of survival for the quads drastically increases between 24 and 25 weeks and again at 26 weeks. It continues to rise after that, but most assuredly our next HUGE goal will be 26 weeks. In the meantime, every day we get past 24 is a blessing.” She patted Tom on the shoulder and asked, “Will you be spending the night here with Desai?”

He smiled at the doctor. “I would really like to if that’s possible.”

“Oh, it’s not a problem at all. But that couch isn’t very comfortable. Would you like a bed brought in?”

“I don’t want anyone to go to any trouble. Really this will be fine.”

Tom awoke to a loud beeping and wondered at first what it was then remembered he was staying with Desai in her hospital room. He heard her say, “My IV pump is beeping.”

“Someone will be right there.”

“Okay. Thank you.” She looked over and saw blue eyes gazing at her. “Hey handsome, how are you?”

“I’m good,” he said as he sat up giving her a grin as he stretched then stood and moved to kiss her. He kissed her deeply as he smiled against her mouth breaking the kiss. “I love you, babe.” He brushed her hair from her face as he asked, “How are you feeling?”

She smiled sadly, “I think this pregnancy is finally catching up with me physically. I know that sounds weird, but up until the last couple of weeks, walking around, sitting down in chairs, and picking things up off the floor or whatever didn't really pose a huge issue.” She fiddled with her hands, “Now, I struggle to get in and out of bed and I get short of breath from the smallest exertion. My back hurts and there’s a lot of uncomfortable, sometimes painful, pressure _you know where_.”

“Is that normal?” he asked as the nurse came in.

“Is what normal?” the nurse asked as she changed the almost empty bag with a new one.

Desai repeated what she had told Thomas and the nurse answered, “Yes, with multiples it is but it’s good you haven’t had any signs of your water breaking. Did they tell you that the Magnesium Sulfate will make you weak because it relaxes smooth muscles and has been described as making a person feel like a wet noodle?” The nurse set the pump and asked if there was anything else that Desai needed.

Desai shook her head but said, “Thank you, Nicole. I appreciate you and the crew.”

“We are not a crew,” she said with a smile. “We are the Quad Squad!”

Thomas and Desai laughed at that, then he asked the nurse, “Would it be alright if I used the shower?”

“Yes.” She looked to Desai, “Are you hungry?”

Desai shook her head violently just before she reached for one of the emesis bags and began heaving. The nurse checked the Zofran drip and realized it needed to be changed and called for one of the other nurses to bring it to her. Once attached it worked like an insulin pump administering the medication in a small but continuous dosage.

Desai smiled as the nausea began to abate and said, “I think these babes are taking their toll. I'm 40 plus weeks in term of size and girth for my pregnancy, even though I'm barely 24.”

The nurse nodded as Thomas stood by and listened as she said, “You’ve gained about 22 pounds of weight in your stomach between the babies, placentas, fluids, and etcetera. You’ve had some light contractions for the first time and slight pains in your stomach, but the good thing is they aren't showing up on the contraction monitor, so we're assuming it's growing pains. Which makes sense, this is the time the babies really start zooming up the growth chart.” She patted Desai’s arm, “That’s why we need to keep the nausea at zero and you eating,” she scrunched her face, “Love, you really don’t want a nasogastric tube.”

Desai shook her head, “Been there done that. Nope.”

Tom was fascinated but scared too as he asked, “What if that’s the case – I mean if she doesn’t eat enough?”

“The babies will be really small or …”

“They could die,” Desai finished as she tried but failed to keep her tears at bay. She smiled as Thomas caressed her face. “Go take your shower, earendel,” she said softly. “I don’t want you to be late for rehearsal.” She gazed into his eyes, “I understand how important your work is for you. You need it like you need air.” She smiled again as he twined her fingers with his then brought his hand to her lips. “I love you, now go, you handsome man before I embarrass myself in front of you and Nicole.”

When Tom left he placed a kiss on his sleeping wife’s forehead and one on her belly as he softly said, “Please, please, stay put a while longer and be good to mummy. I love all of you.”

As he was about to enter the hospital that evening after his performance he was once again bombarded by reporters who were clamoring for his attention. He turned and said, “Desai, is doing well and so are the quads. She was admitted as a precaution but is doing fine.” He turned and left them screaming for more as he made his way into the Emergency entrance.

Once on Desai’s floor, he quickly learned that she had been moved to a larger room that gave everyone a bit more space and lots of sunshine during the day unless of course it was raining as it had off and on today. He had great news for her though, he could be with her all day and would only be away during the time he was performing.

He had made an announcement after the show stating that due to Desai’s condition he would not be doing stage door pictures or autographs, ending with, “I am truly sorry for any disappointment this has caused any of you, but the love of my life is my wife Desai and she is – if some of you did not know – carrying quadruplets! She is in hospital and I ask all of you to send positive energy and of course Desai would ask for prayer. Please, just keep her and the,” he grinned, “Little Hiddles in your thoughts.” He bowed, stood, waved, and said, “Goodnight and blessings to you all!”

He was smiling brightly as he entered the larger room and then his mouth dropped open when he saw all of the flowers and cards. “They’ve been arriving all evening!” She grinned at him, “What did you do?”

“Nothing! Honest. I talked with Chris earlier and told him how you were progressing as well as Ben and Sophie. And Joey, of course, Little Joey was asking about you and wants to see his,” he made quotation marks, “Favorite Auntie.” He gave her a kiss and placed a palm on her belly and immediately felt movement. “How are you love?”

“It’s been a pretty good day, even with moving rooms and having to have a new IV site. They put it on the back of my left hand and it hurts but it’s for a good reason. I really shouldn’t complain about anything at this point.” She sighed as she hugged him, “I missed you, how did the first night go?” she asked with a smile.

He smiled broadly, “Shakespeare is still loved it seems. We had a full house and then a standing ovation.” He took a seat as he held her hand. “I love you, darling. I talked to the director and asked if I could possibly get someone to film it so that you could see it. He told me that he would think about it and ask the rest of the cast and crew. Expect visits from them, love,” he said as he placed his head by hers on the pillow. “I want to crawl in bed with you and hug you close.”

“I know … I miss waking up with your arms wrapped around me in some fashion or other or being awakened by those wonderfully soft lips.” She couldn’t stop the emotion as it rolled through her and she started crying.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry,” he said as he grasped her hands with one of his and began wiping tears away with the fingers of his other. “I’m sorry, darling.”

“Hormones, honey. It’s the hormones,” she sighed as she snuggled into the wonderful arms that surrounded her. “I love you, Thomas.”

***

“Hello, dad. How are you?” Desai asked Jack a few days later.

“Well that all depends on how you are, kiddo.”

Desai laughed a little then said, “I wanted you to know that just days past my 24-week mark, I got admitted to the hospital. They want the babes to grow a bit more. In here, I wear four bracelets on my right wrist announcing everything from my drug allergies to my last blood panel. But really I'm just convinced it's so they don't lose me. They put a yellow bracelet on me that reads "fall risk" in case I should decide to go gallivanting by the nurse's station. As if. I’m as big as the broadside of a barn. Where the Hell do they think I’m gonna go?”

He laughed a little as he pictured her. “I talked to Tom he’s kept me informed about your progress.” He became serious, “Desai, honey, do you need me? I can take off work.”

“I would say yes, dad, but there’s nothing to do except wait. Really, I sleep a lot, I’ve taken up the habits of a cat. I eat whatever I want. The nurses have all of the local deliveries on speed dial. Did Thomas send you any pictures?”

“Yes he did and you are as beautiful as ever. I’ve already talked to everyone at work and they know I will be taking off as soon as those babies arrive. I know how hard it is to take care of twins and triplets, but four? Thomas is going to need two more hands. And I am going to be there for my daughter and son-in-law and those babies.”

“I know, dad.” She groaned in pain as she switched hands.

“What’s wrong?” Jack asked concerned.

“They had to relocate my IV site again from the back of my left hand to the other and it hurts so bad. I can barely flex my hand as it is, and now I have two IVs pumping through my veins, which feel like they're about to explode. I just have to endure it until the end of tomorrow, which is when my weekly two-day sentence of Magnesium Sulfate ends. Which I’ve been taking since I was 16 weeks. To be such an awful medicine, it's really great for the babies and at calming contractions.”

“I remember Marianne having to take that with the boys. You’ll be rid of the terrible side effects that make you feel like you have the flu complete with full body aches soon and I know it leaves you feeling off-balance and very woozy or it did your mom.”

“Thank you, dad. I really appreciate it. You have no idea what a blessing finding you and everyone has been. I love you, dad. I’m sorry but the nurses are here – take care – I love you – talk to you later.”

As soon as the nurses were finished with her she burst into tears and then Da’ and Diana walked in. “Love?” Diana asked at the same time James asked, “Daughter?”

“Hormones, mum, Da’. Just these damn hormones.” Desai sniffled.

“I see they have your torture device back on and the beautiful blue boots,” Diana said with a smile.

“Yep, they got me harnessed up like a prime racehorse.”

James looked at the display of the babies heartbeats. “I’ve never seen anything like that.”

Desai smiled. “Sometimes they synchronize.”

“That’s amazing,” Diana said as she took a seat next to James on the sofa.

“How are the two of you? Everything going okay at home? How about the boys? Are they okay,” Desai asked then suddenly grabbed her abdomen and groaned in pain. “I’m okay they’re growing and sometimes it just hurts.” She smiled at them reassuringly. “Really I’m fine.”

“Darling? What’s wrong?” Tom asked as he entered the room carrying two bags of takeout.

“Growing pains, earendel. The Little Hiddles are growing and I swear the second they hear their father they get rambunctious. We are going to have our hands full with these babies.”

“My love we will be fine. In fact, I’ve rearranged the master bedroom and placed a crib in the room so that the Little Hiddles will be close to us at least for a month or so … then they can go to the nursery and sleep in their own cribs. I have the cradles set up in the living room.” He raised a finger after he set the bags and drinks down. “And I finished decorating the nursery.”

“I love you,” she blubbered. “What did you bring us?”

One of the nurses came in and checked Desai’s IV sites. “Desai, I’m sorry but I have to change sites again. This time we’re bringing in a specialist to put in a special IV in each arm.”

“A pick line? That’s what it’s called in the States.”

“Yes. That’s what we’ll be doing.”

“May I eat first?” Desai asked as she began to plunder one of the bags.

The nurse smiled warmly and nodded as she left the room.

Tom sat on the edge of her bed then pulled the bedside table closer. “Mum, Da’ if I had known you were going to be here I would have picked up something for you,” he said as he watched Desai take a bite from her cheeseburger roll her eyes in satisfaction and moan a bit.

“We ate before we left your place,” Diana informed him as one of the IV pumps started beeping.

Desai gave it a look that should have melted the machine as she took a drink then said, “Isn’t it bad enough that I’m so dizzy headed that I can’t even read a book? My left hand looks like a pufferfish and my right hand is almost completely numb thanks to all these extra fluids that are more than likely placing weight on nerves.”

“Love? Who are you talking to?” Tom asked her tenderly.

“Cp3o’s brother who doles out fluids to me all day,” she said as she waved a hand in the direction of the IV pump that was on her left. “Did Thomas tell you what happened yesterday?”

James and Diana looked at their son as he shook his head and said, “No. If you want to tell them what happened then go ahead, but I’m not…and I do not think it was funny at all.”

Desai waved her hand across her extended abdomen as she began, “As you can see my belly is getting really huge and even though I’m five-foot-nine it has become a struggle to get out of bed … much less turn over.” She looked at Thomas. “Yesterday, I got stuck on my back. It must’ve been like seeing a turtle overturned and flopping around trying to right itself. Thank goodness, Thomas came in when he did.” Then deadpan she added, “Some shit just ain’t pretty.”

“So, now if she wants up she has to ask for help,” Tom said as he smiled at her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank all of you who have left kudos or comments, they mean so very much to me!


	25. Chapter Twenty-five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hospital, journal entry about Thomas's birthday and birthday present, the Little Hiddles arrive!

Tom came in the next day to find Desai asleep and that a catheter had been inserted. He also found her latest journal lying open by her side he couldn't help but read her latest writing.

_My life doesn't seem real. Truly it doesn't. I'm married to the most wonderful man who treats me like a goddess. Who tells me I'm beautiful even when I know I'm not. A man who loves me without reservation or conditions. I cannot do enough for him, not because I feel I have to, oh, no, but because I want to. I want to spoil him as much as I can before he or I wake up and realize this isn't real._

_I haven't asked how he liked his birthday present although I know he loves to play pool. I love to hear him say, 'Eightball corner pocket.'_

_"What is it love?" he asked just after breakfast two weeks before his birthday._

_"Let's play pool," I said finally._

_Thomas looked at me playfully. "I didn't know you knew how to play pool."_

_I grinned at him. "_ _Well, really,_ _all it is is basically knocking around small hard balls on felt. So how hard could it be?"_

_He laughed at me as he said, "Love, it's a bit more than that. There are rules and you have to align things just right for those small hard balls to end up where they're supposed to go."_

_"So teach me," I said._

_"Okay, just, Ummm allow me to get dressed, and then we'll head out."_

_"Okay." I grinned holding back a laugh. He had no clue._

_A few minutes later he came strutting out of the bedroom dressed in those black jeans and a white button-down with a black vest. Did the man have to be so fucking sexy all the goddamn time?! He smiled and I swear my lady bits melted right into my silk underwear._

_As he pulled the keys from his pocket I smiled at him. "You're not going to need those, earendel."_

_"I thought you wanted to go play pool?"_

_I walked up to him and traced a finger around his neck then down the front of his slightly opened shirt. "Oh, I do want to play pool ahh, just not anywhere public."_

_I watched his Adam's apple bob a couple of times then he said, "Darling, what are you up to?" He was suspicious._

_"A game of eightball. Follow me please, sir." I smiled as I backed away from him. "Oh, and love?"_

_"Yes?" he asked with a smirk._

_"Happy Birthday!" I swung open the door and watched as he gave the same look he had the day that he found out I was pregnant. "I know it's a little early but I couldn't wait."_

_He nodded in admiration as he walked around the table. "This is twice you've sneaked a gift in on me." He looked at me. "How do you manage that?"_

_"I'm good."_

_"Oh, love, I know just how good you are, but let's make this interesting shall we?"_

_"Okay. What do you have in mind?"_

_"Strip pool," he said as he picked out a cue._

_I picked up another cue. "Okay, I'm game."_

_He walked around to the other side of the table and quickly racked up. "Specifically," he said, lifting the triangle with a spin, "eightball, as you said. I assume you are familiar?"_

_"Of course I am. I have watched the game being played."_

_"Watching and playing is very different, darling. Especially with this particular game."_

_"How so?"_

_"Well," he said as he sauntered around the table and brushed his front against my ass as he murmured in my ear, "Articles of clothing. Each ball you sink, I remove one piece of clothing. For each ball I sink, you remove something. Sound appealing?"_

_"Ohhh, love," I said as I gently rubbed my hand over his bulge. "That does sound appealing."_

_I smiled as he moaned and said, "Good. Would you like to break, or shall I?"_

_"You can break." I continued to smile at him knowing he had no clue about my pool playing. There were times in Georgia that I had played for hours while waiting for him or just to spend time doing something besides worrying about the drivers on the road. I loved the game... and I felt it... unsporting, to break first. Couldn't have Thomas naked after the first shot, where was the fun in that?_

_"As you wish."_

_Moving with an easy grace, I watched as Thomas bent forward over the table and lined up his shot. "Watch and learn, darling."_

_"Oh, I am," I said nonchalantly_ _as I gazed at that perfect ass._

_CRACK!_

_The neat triangle split with a sharp hit, scattering the pool balls across the table. I followed a few around with my eyes as they hit the bumpers and scattered once again, waiting to see if Thomas managed to sink any..._

_Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the bright orange five slip into the top corner pocket. Thomas straightened up and peered at me. "I am solids. Now please remove...."_

_"Of course ... would it bother you if I start with my boots?"_

_"Not at all, darling. You'll be out of those clothes soon enough."_

_Not if I can help it, I thought as I smiled at him, and said, "Fair shot, a fair shot. But just you wait until it's my turn."_

_Thomas's eyes flashed into light green and a shiver of anticipation ran down my spine. "We will see," he said simply as I watched him turn and walk confidently around the table for a moment before he located a prime shot: bottom right corner pocket, the blue ball was barely clinging to the edge of the felted table._

_Thomas barely had to bend to line up his shot. With the smallest, lightest push of the cue, the ball fell into the pocket. He straightened up, gave me a smoldering look, and ordered, "Socks, please."_

_I removed the requested clothing and placed them on the table behind us. Even though I was only shy the boots and socks, I already felt far more naked than Thomas, still fully clothed. At this rate, it was going to be a quick game...oh, what the hell? I still get what I want._

_Nodding his thanks, he bent over the table and lined up his shot. The cue ball started towards the green six, then lost momentum and stopped just short of hitting the other ball. Thomas stood up and frowned. "That should not have happened." His voice filled with confusion and slight irritation._

_I grinned as I said, "Doesn't matter, my turn now." Finally, I had a chance to make up some ground and maybe take this whole thing home. I was only down by two, I could do this, Thomas didn't know it, but I had never lost a game to a man, and I wasn't about to start now. (For the moment, I forgot that it was supposed to be fun and sexy, my competitive side was just too strong.)_

_I took a minute to examine the table. There weren't any truly safe shots, only one I knew I could definitely make, and two more that would send me stripping again. I did one more circle around the table (just to be sure) before taking aim at the violet striped twelve. It was a little too close to the eight for comfort, but I had to risk it._

_I held my breath as I took the shot and watched the twelve roll... roll... roll... into the pocket. I released a sigh of relief and smiled._

_The movement of the twelve put me in a little better position and I quickly spotted a red striped eleven just begging to go in a pocket. I bent over and aimed. "Oh, one more thing." I straightened up and raked my eyes up and down Thomas before lightly commanding, "Vest, please. I like the shoes for now."_

_"As you wish." Thomas removed his vest, laying it on the table with my socks. "Are you going to take a shot?"_

_"Of course."_

_Returning my attention to the game, I lined up the eleven and hit._

_My cue glanced off the side, sending the ball rolling at an angle, away from the pocket. "Shit," I cursed, resting my head on the table in defeat._

_"It is my turn now, please make way." Thomas's voice was completely devoid of sarcasm, but there was that fucking little shit-eating grin he was sporting._

_"Fine." I sighed and stepped away from the table. I wanted to turn and pout for a moment but I knew I had to keep an eye on the game. One more mistake, that's all I needed to get back on top. If I could get just one more shot, I was sure I wouldn't miss again._

_I never got another shot._

_Someone had been practicing! Damn him!_

_I sighed in resignation as I took off each piece of clothing. I only had one chance to knock Thomas off his game, and I blew it. Part of me thought about bumping him as he leaned over for the final shot, "Eightball, corner pocket," but the view of Thomas's wonderful ass distracted me._

_The eight slid easily into the pocket. I was down to my underwear. I set the cue aside and began to unhook my bra._

_Thomas held out a hand to stop me. "No, allow me."_

_Thomas took a moment to return their cues to the rack. The disparity was striking, I stood nearly naked, while Thomas was almost fully clothed. It made my nakedness stand out. My hairs stood on end and a frisson ran down my spine. The sight of them, the feeling, it made my insides clench and ache. Maybe losing wasn't so bad after all. I mean I still would get to fuck this gorgeous man, who could lose?_

_Without another word, Thomas made eye contact as he reached around me unhooking my bra, but before he let it fall he cupped my breasts, slowly rubbing his thumbs over the erect nipples through the fabric smiling slightly as he allowed the garment to fall to the floor. He kept his eyes open as he kissed me, and as he nipped and licked my neck he said, "My love, you are glorious and perfect, and I love you." I arched into him as he began to slowly kiss his way down my body, laving my breasts lingering on each one as he worshipped them. I couldn't help the soft moans that escaped me and they seemed to spur him on. As he fell to his knees and reached up, he gently tugged down on my panties, removing my last shred of clothing._

_Instead of opening his mouth and launching right in (so eager to get to the fun part of our evenings together), Thomas took a moment to place tender kisses over my already swollen labia and I moaned as he delved in between them with the tip of his tongue making me moan, "Thomas, Not that I'm c-complaining, but you won." I added, "We get to do whatever you want." It wasn't spelled out in the rules of the game but they'd been at this long enough to read the subtext: one item of clothing per ball (or whatever the game might be), winner gets to call the shots (no pun intended)._

_"I am well aware of that fact, darling," Thomas said, the tip of his nose barely touching my clit as his tongue slowly ran back and forth against my lips. A shiver ran through me and, suddenly, I had trouble listening to Thomas's words. "For a moment, darling, I would like to do this."_

_Thomas's lips parted ever so slightly and his tongue poked out a little more as he used it to begin circling my clit over, and over, and over..._

_I braced myself against the side of the table as Thomas made a slow show of taking his winnings. Kneeling he placed his large and wonderful hands on my hips as his thumbs caressed my slightly protruding abdomen._

_My knees started to shake from the mind-melting attention Thomas was paying to my clit, he suddenly pulled away. Still kneeling in front of me, Thomas whispered, "Lay back on the table."_

_Ah yes, on to the main event. Thomas assisted me as he sat me on the edge of the sturdy wooden table. I was trying to see what Thomas was doing but at this angle, I didn't have a good view. Then suddenly his tongue was back in motion and so were those lovely long and elegant fingers that knew exactly how to make me do things I had never thought to do before. His actions caused me to moan loud and long as I melted into the felt of the pool table._

_Thomas took his sweet time licking me, my lips, my perineum and nipping at the sensitive insides of my quivering thighs. "They were quivering, darling, so nicely," Thomas muttered between kisses and licks. "You expected me to ignore them?"_

_"Mmm," I moaned again, "it's what-whatever you want, Thomas. You won."_

_"Yes," Thomas said and I knew he was wearing that damnable smirk. "I did." His tongue retreated and finally, "Desai, my love. I wanted to wait about this but we've never ... I have something that I bought for my birthday for you actually. If you don't like it we can stop. You know that."_

_"Yes," I murmured as my body trembled._

_"Then I'll be right back."_

_I heard him leave the room and from the sound of his steps, he was in a hurry. Then I heard him come back and lock the door. "I'm back, love. As I said this is something that we've both wanted ..."_

_I smiled up at him as I asked, "Are we going to finally try anal sex?"_

_"Yes," he said as a wonderful flush covered his now naked chest. "Tell me if it's too much."_

_I nodded in acquiesce. I then heard a cap click open and my body fairly shuddered in suspense. I did my best to relax as I felt Thomas's thumb gently probe my anus stretching it. "That's it love, relax," he whispered as he used the lubrication to ease the discomfort._

_While I enjoyed all the attention Thomas paid to my other erogenous zones, I wanted Thomas's cock more with each passing second. I knew the stamina of this man and no one could ever match him; not by endurance, not creativity, not strength, and most definitely, not when it came to coordination. Thomas was special he could fuck me and play with my clit without ever missing a single thrust. That was magical! And his rhythm ... was literally – fucking beautiful! Thomas was an artist at making love. He knew just when to prolong the pleasure and when to push that pleasure over the edge. His constant, even tempo of hand and hips moving together, it was enchanted, and so very Thomas._

_Two slick fingers pressed inside and I gasped, trying not to push back. "Oh yeah, baby, give me more of that."_

_"Certainly, love," he said as he pushed a small vibrator into my ass with one hand while the other slowly fingered me. "I'm setting this on low. Are you feeling alright, darling?"_

_"Ummmhmmm," I uttered as I wiggled. "Please, Thomas, c'mon, baby. I need you to fuck me." I heard that damn 'ehehehehehe' of his and at that moment wanted to have the power to make him fuck me. "I know you love to make me beg ... it turns you on. C'mon, baby, give me that cock. Shove that dick of yours in – my – hot – wet – tight – pussy. C'mon, love. I know you want to." I met his gaze and saw that his pupils were blown as were mine. "Fuck me, baby." I raised my hips and moved as if he were thrusting inside me._

_"Good, Lord, Desai. You're going to make me cum before I even get started."_

_I grinned at him as I licked my lips and said, "I know better than that, even if you did, you'd be up and at 'em in ten minutes."_

_"Darling, shut up."_

_I laughed which caused Thomas to start laughing, but that didn't make him stop what he was doing with his fingers, and damn him he turned up that damn vibrator that was shoved up my ass! I screamed his name as an orgasm washed over me like a tsunami and I knew I had soaked his fingers from the squelching noises he was making as he kept up his pace._

_After what felt like ages, Thomas's fingers finally left and the engorged head of his cock took their place. "Mmm, yeah." I pushed back, urging him on. "C'mon, c'mon." But again, Thomas took his sweet time. He pushed slowly into me, waiting until his hips fully touched my dripping cunt before he started thrusting._

_As soon as he started to pull back, his thumb began those wonderful circles around my clit with his hand moving in perfect time with his thrusts, making me moan louder and louder as my fingers scratching the blue felt, looking for anything to hold onto. I finally landed on a pocket and managed to brace myself enough to thrust back. With this new change in timing, Thomas altered his rhythm, his hand sliding over my clit faster, but still in perfect sync with our fucking._

_I closed my eyes and concentrated on the feel of Thomas's cock inside me. With Thomas's stamina I knew I couldn't outlast him so what could I do but enjoy every thick and hard inch of him as he did his very best to fuck me senseless. Oh, and what a good job of it he was doing!_

_I knew he had lasted through three of my orgasms and as he removed his fingers from my clit he began thrusting so that every stroke of his cock and pubic bone hit my clit and I was seeing stars and moaning like a lunatic, but I wanted more, so much more..._

_Thomas seemed to understand as he pulled out then pulled the vibrator out of my ass. "Darling, I love you," he said as he pushed his cock into my ass slowly stretching me, I moaned half from pain and half from the pleasure of it. "Yes!" I screamed as his fingers began thrusting into my cunt again. Oh, this ... was unlike anything I had ever felt before!_

_My hips bucked, despite Thomas's strong grip, and I came, squirting all over Thomas's fingers, his chest, and the floor. Hot sparks of pleasure shook my whole body, the repeated clitoral stimulation producing more cum than usual._

_My climax was so strong that it caused Thomas to fall over that precipice and he began to cum as well the feeling of him swelling and twitching inside my ass caused another orgasm in me. He pulled out and I watched as cum dripped from the tip of his cock in strong pulses, and for a moment, I thought he'd never stop cumming._

_That pool table has special memories for me, even though we've had to have the felt redone three times since it was installed, as does the piano. Everywhere we've made love does. And I feel as if I'm living in a dream._

_Even being in the hospital and being pregnant doesn't seem real sometimes. Like I'm here, but this isn't me. It's weird. And I'm constantly wearing a contraction monitor that shows the activity level of my uterus and when it starts going up, I worry that my time may be limited._

_I anxiously await each of my weekly ultrasounds to see the babies and know they are okay, and to be sure my cervix is still holding on and not trying to prepare for delivery. Yesterday I had a bit of spotting (light blood), but it stopped quickly and was very minimal. Doc said it was normal but it still gave me a scare. And when the nurse checked the babies' heart rates (they do this daily now using a small handheld doppler device), one of the boy's heart rate plummeted three times while we listened, slowed down, and finally picked back up but still sounded irregular. It made my own heart drop. What if something was wrong with him? They checked it twice since and he's been just fine. The doctor says it's completely normal, sometimes the baby will manage to sit or even squeeze its own umbilical cord in its hand. When the blood flow slows down, they release it. Like an awful game to give the mom cardiac arrest if she happens to hear it. C'mon, Little Hiddles, I know you're bored but let's not get that bored, okay!? At the end of the day, a nurse came by to ask if I was okay and I started crying. It just happened—the stress of those two events was enough to trigger the waterworks again, and if I were growing flowers on my bedsheet I'd have a garden._

_So you see? It's not all daisies and roses in here and this pregnancy really has been a challenge. But it's amazing what our bodies are capable of taking on and persevering through. I pray every day for God's strength that I can do what it takes to keep these babies growing, and I pray for each of them that they will fight for themselves and each other as we near the final weeks, however many they may be. I am at present 31 weeks and I am also so grateful for all the people who have selflessly spent hours praying for me, the babies, and Thomas — especially him. I know he will love me no matter what may come our way. He's going to be such a good father!_

_Truly, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger..._

Thomas looked at his wife who was now awake and smiling at him. "Did you enjoy my journal log, earendel?"

He had the grace to blush as he stood and said, "Very much so. You have a great memory – and a talent for writing. You could write a book, love."

"Maybe I will," I said as our lips met for a tender yet deep kiss. "We are going to be okay? Aren't we, Thomas?"

He looked at her confused. "What do you mean, love?"

"Are you and I – is the – are we going to get through this intact?"

"I'll love you with and after my last breath. Yes, our lives are going to change, but we knew this when we decided to have children. No, I was not expecting four, but be that as it may, I love you, Desai Hiddleston and I am so very proud that you decided to keep all these precious babies." He smiled at her expression. "I know all about the choice you were given, they asked you to give up one or both of the girls and you told them a definite no."

Tears flowed from her eyes as she shook her head. "Thomas, I couldn't. I couldn't do it. I love you and knowing that they are a part of you ... it would be like killing you. I was willing to take the chance and hopefully make it to almost full term." She sniffed. "I would do it again and again, as many times as I had to, to give you children. I love you so very much."

He felt movement under the palm of his hand as the babies began to move hard and fast and then Desai cringed and moaned loudly in pain. Suddenly he smelled the fluid that was slowly dripping from the bed and he screamed for the nurse. _No! NO! NO! NO! NO! She was just 31 weeks! They wanted her to get to 32!_

He watched and followed as she was taken into the surgical theater for the cesarean section. Desai followed the directions for the epidural the doctor gave her even through the contractions. 

Thomas was suited up and placed at Desai's side he smiled at her as she looked up at him. "I love you," she said softly.

The doctor became concerned when the nerve block didn't work. "These babies are coming and ..."

Those were the last words she remembered hearing until ...

_All I knew was darkness. Darkness and pain. A dull, aching pain somewhere in my body. I wasn't sure where. But I knew it was there._

_That, and the constant beeping noise that was surely coming from miles away. It was so quiet and blurred, and still so... fucking annoying. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep yourself, dammit. Can't you just shut the fuck up?!_

_My body felt strange, even in the half-consciousness, I was swimming in. Relaxed and strained at the same time. And weird, just weird. As if something was missing._

_Definitely, something was. My mind began to search for sensations from everywhere in my body, one part at a time. Left leg? Check. Right leg? Check. Left-arm? Check. Right-arm? Check. Head? Obviously, check. Torso? Check._

_Everything seemed to be fine._

_And still, it wasn't. The pain wasn't just physical, it was emotional, too. I felt the tears as they spilled from my eyes._

_But what was it? I struggled to know, to remember, but it was too much of an effort, and I could feel my grip on consciousness slipping, and the darkness was getting even darker again._

_No..._

**_*_ **

_"Beep." That's what I heard, when I regained consciousness again, finally. Sweet, lovely beep, beep, beep, so welcome now. But I heard something else, too, this time. I heard voices._

_"How is she doing?" I heard a male voice ask and I heard the concern that voice had. It was so familiar, and comforting yet I couldn't bring myself to remember just who it belonged to. But I knew I loved that voice and the man who owned it. I loved him, and I wanted him closer to me, I wanted him there. I wanted him to hold my hand, to tell me it was all going to be okay. I wanted him, and yet I didn't quite remember._

_"She's good, she's recovering brilliantly. It shouldn't be too long until she wakes up," I heard a female voice reply. That one was kind of familiar to me, it was soft and quiet and I liked it, too. She sounded nice._

_But she was wrong. I was already awake! Could they not see, not notice? I wanted to scream, but all that came out of my mouth was a labored breath. Giving up I slipped back into sweet, dreamless sleep._

**_*_ **

_Third time, was better. This time, I could even open my eyes. Slowly, awkwardly, but still, they were opening, and I could see again. See the white ceiling above me, the lamp that shone too bright. I tried to lift my hand to cover them from the light, but I was too weak, too tired. My hand didn't move from the bed._

_But another one did._

Thomas reached out his hand touching Desai's and he smiled when she turned her head slightly to the left, using her last bit of strength to see the face she knew she'd see. The familiar features. The worried eyes, the relieved smile. The most beautiful and perfect man. Thomas.

"Hey," she whispered, her voice a croaky mess, almost inaudible.

But he smiled, oh how he smiled as he greeted her with a kiss to her fingertips. "Hey yourself. How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Like I've been drugged."

"That'll pass, don't worry. You're going to be fine. The doctors said your body just needs a bit of time, there's nothing really wrong. They've given you some pretty strong meds, though."

His words should have calmed her, reassured her, but instead, she felt panic rising inside her. It clutched her chest and made her heart pump faster, gripping her lungs into its cold grip.

"Thomas..." she said, eyes wide with terror. "What about... the babies?"

She had finally remembered. She knew why she was there. In the hospital. She now knew what was missing. It was the other lives, the lives that had been inside her for seven months now, growing and becoming a part of her. They were gone. And she felt... empty. And scared. Scared more than ever before.

To Desai's surprise, his smile widened. Yet, she couldn't calm her beating heart until he spoke. "They're fine. Healthy. All is good. They're perfect," he said, choking a bit with the last word, "just like their mother." A proud father, Thomas seemed to be.

"It all went well. The birth, I mean. Just one minor complication, that's all. And then you blacked out... I was so worried," he said, squeezing her hand tighter. "But they said you'd be fine, that you'd only need a bit of time to recover from the physical effort and the shock the second epidural gave to your body. So I was there when they came out, each of them screaming because they were leaving their mother." He kissed her fingertips. "Desai, you outdid yourself, love. They are beautiful just like their mother."

"Their beauty has nothing to do with me. Have you looked in the mirror, Thomas?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Although none of my children made it I can imagine that my husband would have been this way, he is such a good man just like Thomas.


	26. Chapter Twenty-six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Desai comes home, some talk of depression and not feeling good about how she looks now. 
> 
> The Little Hiddles come home! 
> 
> Someone from Thomas's past shows up. 
> 
> Thomas soon takes care of her thinking that she's fat. Sex.

Six days after delivery Desai was home but wanted to be with her babies. They would be in the hospital for a month maybe longer that was just the way it was when there were quads involved, and they came two months early.

And she felt as if it was her fault. Lately, she felt as if everything that went wrong was her fault. She knew it wasn't true but that in no way stopped her from feeling that she was to blame for every wrong thing that was happening.

Damn hormones!

Her doctors had assured her that 'this too shall pass'. She hoped so, she felt as if she had cried enough to water all the lawns in London. She was also placed on Depo-Provera injections that she was informed would not interfere with her breastfeeding but would protect against pregnancy. She loved their children but – no – just no – not right now.

Maybe not ever. As elated as she had been to find out she was pregnant ... that elation soon turned into something she wished she had thought about a bit more. Oh, she loved her babies and was glad they were here and healthy, but being pregnant with that many at one time. She wasn't sure she wanted that again.

Thomas was, as always, attentive and kind, he was absolutely _the_ reason, and well, so were the babies, that she drew breath. He insisted that she take things easy as her body healed and she couldn't disagree.

She hurt. Her incision hurt so badly that she carried a pillow around with her holding it tightly against her abdomen. Her back felt as if it were being punched at times, however, the doctors assured her that feeling would go away after a while.

She wanted her children, never in her life had she felt so much love for another being. She wanted to hold them, nurse them as she had while in the hospital. Her breasts were working overtime and so were her breast pumps. She was producing so much milk that they had begun donating part of it to the preemies. Sometimes she felt like a cow with a milking machine attached. Well, she thought, at least these huge boobs are good for something besides just hanging around all day being sore.

Thomas made sure she was taking it as easy as she should. Still having some abdominal cramping and dizziness from the epidural which she was told was a side-effect sometimes. "Leave it to me," she had said with a slight laugh as she stood looking at the babies who were swaddled and lying in their small cribs in the NICU. She would go in and sit in a large rocking chair and they would pass the babies to her one at a time as she took turns nursing them, afterwards, Thomas would help burp them as he sat in another rocker next to Desai. She would look over at him as she nursed and he would have this beatific smile and expression as if his world was now complete and she supposed it was, she knew hers was.

The naming of the children was easier for Desai than it was for Thomas, he was adamant that there would be no Thomas William Hiddleston II. She understood that and they settled on the names Harry Edward, James William, Catherine Faith, and Sophia Grace. She wasn't sure if he realized it but the boys carried the names of characters he had played, she knew better than to try and name one Magnus, oh but she wanted to. The girls, well, characters of the women he had loved, in the movies of course. Sophia would more than likely be shortened to Sophie and Catherine to Cate. She smiled at him as she finished nursing Harry, he seemed to be the healthiest, he was the largest of the four, weighing in at just over 1kg (2lb. 5oz.), James came in at 2lb. 3oz., Catherine's weight was a half kg at 1lb. 12oz. and little Sophia was the smallest at just 1lb. 6oz. Thomas could literally fit her in the palm of one of his hands.

He was a tall man not so much large but Desai knew that these children would literally be looking up to their father someday. The babies looked so small in his arms and she knew that little Sophia was bonding with her father in a special way; she settled with him when no one else could console her. And of course, he loved every minute of it.

She hated leaving the children even though she knew they were in great hands, it was as if she only got to hold them for such a little while and then go back home, cry all the way there and then some, then get all happy as they returned in the evening so that she could nurse them again, then cry again on the way home and most times cry herself to sleep with Thomas's arms around her as he whispered that everything would be okay. She knew they were being very well taken care of because they were growing and gaining weight. Soon, she kept telling herself, soon they would all be home and in their crib, at least for a while, then they could go into their nursery.

Tom knew what a hard time Desai had when it came to leaving the children, so did he, but he felt he had to be brave for her. If he broke down they would both be blubbering idiots and that would do none of them any good at all.

"C'mon," he said as he began to help her remove her clothing. "We're going to take a shower. You've had a long and tiring day."

"Tell me it gets better, Thomas."

"It gets better love, better and better. You will soon be completely healed, the babes will be home and all will be well."

"Those precious babes will probably keep us up at all hours," she said honestly. "But you know what? I don't care as long as they all come home." She hugged him as she allowed her tears to fall. Tears of love, of hope, of faith, and fear to fall and keep falling deeper in love with this man, but she knew Thomas would be there to hold her and love her through it all.

After their shower, he helped her dry off and put on her most comfortable gown. He then wrapped an arm around her waist and held her hand while he walked her to the bed then assisted her in lying down getting as comfortable as she possibly could. He cuddled up behind her, "I love you, my goddess. You still have that glow, really you do." He wrapped his arms around her shoulders snuggling in closer. "My brave girl." He kissed her head. "All will be well."

Thomas then proceeded to wrap his arms tightly around Desai and held her body flush against his. She snuggled into his warm embrace, enjoying just being close to him. After a few minutes, she felt him shift and grab something off the nightstand. With one hand he started running his fingers through her hair, and with the other hand, was holding a book. She looked at the title and saw it is one of her favorites, _Around the World in 80 Days_ by Jules Verne. He started reading from where she had placed the bookmark. His deep soothing voice using his various character voices soon had her drifting off into a peaceful night sleep with his fingers tangled in her hair.

***

Tom and Desai had a full house; Diana, James, and Jack had moved in temporarily to help with the children who had just a week before been released from the hospital.

The tabloids were having another field day with rumors that she and Thomas had used a fertility clinic, which they and the family knew was untrue, but rags would be rags she supposed.

And all of them wanted pictures of the children, Thomas told them all a flat out no.

Jack wasn't near as nice as Thomas was and had said something to the effect of: "If pictures of my grandchildren show up in any of your filthy rags – I'll hang the balls of the man who took them on top of the Empire State Building!"

Yeah, Jack was subtle that way.

It was hard for Tom to separate himself from any of the tiny darlings but Sophia was the hardest, she seemed to thrive on his voice and touch. Anyone could see they were truly bonded. The boys were happy as long as they were fed, clean, and near either of their sisters. Catherine wanted to be near to anyone, she was a cuddler.

Surprisingly they were only waking once or twice a night and most of the time Tom was the one up to change them and assist her in sitting up as she fed them. He loved being a father, he really glowed with happiness knowing that he and Desai had created not just one but four beautiful children.

He sat rocking Sophia as he watched Desai sleep; he knew as soon as Catherine began to whimper that Sophia would soon be in an all-out wailing fest that would have the entire house in an uproar.

It wasn't that _she_ was his favorite, no matter how it appeared, it was that _she needed_ him more than she did anyone else. Simple as that. She needed to know that her father was there, in voice and touch. He knew that in later years he would miss this and the time they spent together, so for now he would treasure this time he could spend holding his daughter.

Desai rolled over and knew that Thomas was up (he always slept spooning her) and saw him rocking Sophia, "Hey, babe, is she okay? Are you okay?" she asked softly as she moved from the bed.

"Yeah, she was about to wake everyone, so I cleaned her up and gave her a bottle. I didn't want to wake you. You had such a hard day yesterday."

"No harder than any other," she said with a smile. "But ... Speaking of yesterday, Thomas ... why did Miss Fuckbutter Extraordinaire show up? I mean after all this time ... why now? You broke up years ago." Desai didn't have to explain who they both knew who she was talking about. _Miss Fuckbutter Extraordinaire_ , the woman who broke his heart then basically laughed about it.

"She said she wanted to meet you, see the children, and mum."

"I hear a but in there somewhere and she had a shitty way of introducing herself to me," Desai said as she leaned down and kissed him on his cheek. "I overheard the two of you arguing. What was that about, earendel?" She grinned, "I called the security service and told them to save that conversation because I don't trust her."

"I don't either and thank you, love. She wanted to know if I was happy and I told her yes and she got suggestive and I cut her off. She called me a bastard and I told her off." He raised from the chair and gently lay Sophia in the crib next to her sister. "I want nothing to do with her – ever again." He pulled Desai into his arms. "You are the love of my life. The mother of my children –"

"What did you say to her? She looked pretty put out when she left." She tucked some hair behind his ear. "I don't want to start an argument between us. I'm curious, that's all, Thomas. Does she have anything on you that could mess up your career? Because if she does – I'll make sure her career is over. Your mum isn't the only one with access to private investigators."

He nearly laughed at how protective she was of him, but then with everything they had been through ... "You are so perceptive. I have no idea if she made a sex tape, tapes, or not and I'm not going to pretend that the oh-so-little-miss-innocent, or as you call her, Miss Fuckbutter Extraordinaire, and I didn't have an adult relationship." He caressed her face then cupped it in his hands and nodded, she deserved to hear what he had said, so verbatim he told his wife as they sat on the bed holding each other. Desai held back giggles as he went into his character voice of a woman.

 _"So, to what do Desai and my family owe to this pleasurable experience?" I asked sarcastically as I leaned against the back of the_ Suburban _crossing my arms over my chest and my legs at the ankles._

_"I wanted to see your children, Tom."_

_"My and Desai's children, she gave birth to those four angelic babies, not me. And somehow I just don't believe you. What exactly are you after?" I eyed her with suspicion as I added, "Here's what I know and what you should know about me and about Desai, you know her, the woman you snubbed in her own home. Firstly, I will not tolerate_ anyone _and I do mean_ anyone _to_ disrespect _her. Now, if you'll excuse me. I have things to do with my wife and children."_

_"Can she fuck as good as me? Can she take that huge cock of yours up her ass and scream for more?"_

_I wanted to tell her that my wife was the best I'd ever had but that would just add fuel to this, whatever it was and besides, I didn't talk about my sex life with anyone. "What is this about? All the men you've fucked over? If so there should be a much longer line."_

_"I have no idea what you're ..."_

_"Oh, please! Don't! You pretend to be this little-miss-innocent and we, including all the men you've been with –know you're not. We all know what you did and what you do. You use men to your advantage by fucking them in order to then fuck with another man's head so he will fuck you and then feel guilty about having fucked someone else. Fuck that and fuck you." He glared at her and she took a deep breath._

_"Tom, I know you have to miss me. I miss you. I miss that big cock pumping in and out of my tight little cunt and my ass. Seeing you with her ... I know I messed up I shouldn't have done what I did."_

_"You cannot stop, can you? You constantly have to be in a position to ruin happiness for someone. Tell me how many more stops in London do you have? Then where are you off to? And just so you know your cunt is not that little or tight and neither is your ass."_

_"Fuck you, you bastard," she hissed._

_I laughed in her face. "Nope, been there done that, and to tell you the truth I kept thinking the whole time I was fucking you, it has to get better than this, but it never did. You are and were a disappointment to me, you use the men you've been with for gain. Well, no more. You need to leave. Now." I stared her down. "I won't say it again."_

_"Are you sure about that?" she asked as if she had a secret._

_I laughed again and told her, "Allow me to tell you something and I believe I am the authority on this subject;_ don't _, for whatever reason you've got in that ignorant fucked-up head of yours,_ ever _piss Desai off. Or underestimate her. That's the only warning you'll get." I raised a brow and stared at her as I finished, "If so much as a gif shows up of me and you in bed, Desai will ruin you in more ways than one."_

_"Is that a threat, Tom?"_

_I pushed myself off the vehicle and told her as I walked away, "Do it and find out." I couldn't resist adding your nickname for her. "Miss Fuckbutter Extraordinaire." As I gave her a little salute when I walked away I was laughing my ass off at her expression. If I didn't know better I would have thought I hurt her feelings. No worries there. She doesn't have any._

Desai burst out laughing. She couldn't believe that he had actually called her that. "I love you," she giggled. "I must be rubbing off on you."

"Why do you say that?" he asked as he lay her back onto the duvet.

"You're learning to be rude."

He chuckled then with one of his ehehehe little laughs that soon turned into a loud and long laugh fest.

The children never woke and if Desai and Thomas had been looking they would have seen smiles appear on their tiny faces.

Thomas whispered as he slowly opened Desai's gown, "Daddy hasn't been fed today." He knew that her breasts would swell and he was right as he watched the creamy fluid begin to flow. Desai's eyes widened as he took a nipple in his mouth and suckled her as one of the children would and then the other. She had never felt anything as erotic as this before. "Don't stop," she whispered as she arched into his mouth and hand.

"Ummm, tastes like my almond milk only sweeter. No wonder the babes like it so much." He stopped long enough to look her in the eyes, "I need to bury myself inside you, Desai."

"I haven't had any bleeding in a week and when I spoke to the doctor she said it would be alright to resume –"

He didn't wait for more as his mouth covered hers in a kiss so thorough that it left them both breathless and needing more. "I'll take it slow," he promised as he moved a hand over her belly and to her mons. He kept that promise as he gently rubbed her clit through her gown and panties, he wanted, needed her to be wet enough so that if there was any pain it would be minimal.

Sex after having children was not always wine and roses, Dr. Sigh's description not his.

"I need you so much, Thomas." In so many ways, she thought as she fought back tears of emotion. She loved this man with everything she had and knew he loved her but did he still find her beautiful?

Tom looked at her and knew almost immediately what she was thinking. Soothingly he spoke, "I've told you before, woman thou art beauty itself." He moved his hand across and over and up as he massaged her belly. "You had life growing here, of course, your body has changed, but it in no way has made you less beautiful than you were before, if anything it has added to your beauty. Why? How? I see that intently intelligent brain of yours as the gears and wheels turn. Nothing and no one will ever change the way I feel about you, Desai. You are and will remain my one and only until and after I take my last breath. I love you. Now, wife," he said as he caressed her face and breasts, "would you please allow your husband to make love to you before the babes next feeding time?"

She laughed as she stood up and removed her gown and panties, watching Thomas as he intently watched her. He quickly joined her as he stripped down in record time, his cock already standing at attention looking to be painfully hard or so Desai thought.

She studied him as he stood before her, a bit slack-jawed. He was beautiful and looked just the same as he had when she had first learned she was pregnant! How could he do that? That stomach of his was still toned that chest had a healthy glow as did the rest of his body except for the lighter shade of skin from where he had been tanning since he had gotten home.

His body was lean, but muscled, the two little dimples above his round ass were more intoxicating than she remembered, shaping up to his back perfectly.

Tom watched her as she surveyed him, he knew she doubted her beauty, she always had, but she didn't realize just how beautiful she really was. Yes, her hair was a mess, and yes she carried a little extra weight now, that didn't matter, she was still a goddess.

Her eyes roved over his body stopping to look for a moment at his cock as it jutted out from his hips, and she wanted nothing more than to take the familiar length in her mouth and lick every inch of his perfect body.

She glanced up at his earnest, caring eyes, and her resolve crumbled. She inhaled slowly to keep her emotions in check, and simply said, "I'm fat."

Tom blinked rapidly as if trying to make sense of her very clear words. After a moment, he slowly responded, "You just gave birth to four children and you've already lost ten of those pounds and that's more than what anyone expected. You are not fat," he said as he pulled her close the heat rising between them at the contact of skin on skin.

"All those beautiful clothes you bought me for Christmas ..."

"Desai," Thomas cut her off, shaking his head, "We just had four babies, well you did. Your body went through something life-altering. You have to cut yourself some slack, babe." His frown didn't falter, "And I will shout it from the rooftops – you're not _fat_."

"Are you really going to pretend I look the same as I always have?" she demanded with frustration, "I'm not an idiot Thomas, I have eyes."

"Not the same," he shrugged, "Better."

"I don't need pity. I know how I look," Desai said as she scowled.

Thomas laughed in disbelief, shaking his head, "Why would I pity you? You're stunning."

"You're just saying that because you're my husband and you'd be a dick if you didn't," she argued. Desai knew she was being a headache and a half, but she couldn't help it. She didn't want to be lied to or handled, she knew she was disgusting.

"I definitely would be a dick if I didn't," he shrugged, "And I'd be blind." He tipped her chin up so that she was looking him in his eyes and said, "You're perfect. Have I not told you that enough? I'm sorry."

"No, you do all the time." She laughed shortly without humor, "But I know you're just saying it to make me feel better, 'cause I'm so gross."

" _Gross_?" he demanded. "Um, didn't you see me blow my nose the other day and miss the tissue and get bogies on my fingers?"

Desai fought back a smile at his words, forcing herself to remain serious. "I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about my...," she grimaced, " _Body_."

Thomas sighed, shoulders sagging as he looked at his wife earnestly, "Desai, I know you're probably feeling all sorts of thrown around because your body is going through a lot. I can't even imagine what being pregnant and having a baby is like let alone carrying four then delivering those four wonderful children." He reached over and took one of her hands in his, "But I am telling you, you are the most beautiful woman in the entire universe. You could be ten thousand pounds or even a little penny-sized Desai, and I wouldn't care. You're my wife, my life, and my best friend, not to mention everything you are to me. And I am always going to love you, no matter what."

Desai snorted, "Penny sized Desai?"

"Yeah." he shrugged, "I'd carry you around in my shirt pocket."

She smiled in spite of herself at that image. "It's just hard to believe you're saying it because it's true." She replied quietly, "I can't imagine you looking at this body and doing anything but hating it the way I do."

"God, Desai." He grabbed her shoulders and moved her so that she was standing far enough away from him so that she could see his entire body. "Look at me, Desai. I mean really look at all of me." He motioned to his body. "Now tell me, dearest girl, do you think I'd be hard as a rock if I wasn't attracted to you?" he demanded, seeming to realize comfort was getting him nowhere and he'd have to resort to logic and rationale.

"Well, you have done without sex for almost four months, Thomas. I think that even I were the size of a half-grown elephant you'd be hard."

Thomas looked at her with horror. "That's awful. Desai. You are the mother of my children, the most amazing wife, but more importantly, you're my best friend. I love you for all the things you are; your brain, your badassery, your rockin' bod of course. Which, turns me on like a light switch," he raised a finger as she shook her head, "Oh, yes, my love." Realizing he needed to have a serious talk with her he pulled her to him then sat with her on his lap in the rocking chair. "Now, dearest darling girl, how long have you been feeling like this?" He knew it had not just happened, from the way she was acting this had been brewing for a while.

Desai shrugged, not meeting his eyes, "I don't know. I mean...I've been worried about it for months. Even before they were born. It started while I was in the hospital a couple of weeks before they were born," she chewed on her lower lip thoughtfully, "Some of my friends in the states and here have told me, 'don't let yourself go. Tom's a handsome man and he's gonna want that same body you had before the babies.'"

Thomas grimaced viscerally, "With all due respect, fuck your friends for saying that to you. That's wrong on like a hundred different levels." He took her chin between his fingers gently, bringing her face up to meet his eyes, "Desai, you and I aremore than just physical attraction, we are friends, lovers, and _life partners_. We are here for each other and those wonderful children. You made me the happiest man in the universe when you agreed to marry me and then again when we married and again when we found out that you were pregnant and yet again when you gave me not one but four beautiful and healthy children!" He began to cry as he said, "If anything I owe you for life!" He touched her forehead as he continued, "All that shit they shoved into your head is old, misogynistic crap, and I know you know that."

Desai wiped at her bleary eyes quickly, "I _know._ I always told myself I wouldn't let it get to me. I know it's a stupid and antiquated and sexist mindset. But...everything is changing and I don't even feel like myself anymore, and I'm worried they're right. Maybe you won't be attracted to me or love me the same because I couldn't even keep myself in shape."

"Let me go on record." Thomas said sternly, "That I, Thomas William Hiddleston, am _obscenely_ attracted to my sexy ass wife. That she is the most banging babe in the universe, and becoming the mother of my children has only made me love her more than I ever thought possible. That if I had it my way, we'd already be on orgasm number six right now, and you'd be walking around naked every chance you got."

Desai found herself laughing, shaking her head gently, "You mean that?"

"Of course I do." he insisted, "And my love for you goes far beyond how sexy you are. But you know, it's on the record now that you make me horny. So...jot that down."

Desai found herself lost in Thomas's expression for a moment. There he was, stark naked, her sitting on his lap, his eyes sweet and genuine, crinkled up in a comforting smile as he tried his best to shove out her internalized misogyny and self-shaming.

Maybe he couldn't fully understand it, because the truth was men just didn't deal with the same type of matrilineal body shaming that a lot of women did. Desai thought she'd overcome that and outgrown it to become a confident young woman, but lately, her hormones and emotions took her to places she thought she'd left behind forever.

But maybe Thomas meant what he said. Maybe he really did love her and want her no matter what.

"I love you." Desai found herself saying honestly, "and I've wanted to fuck you for over two months."

Thomas laughed gently, "Well, we don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with. I love you too though."

He got to his feet setting her on hers then he reached over to grab his boxers, but yelped in surprise as Desai swung her palm out and whacked his ass hard.

He turned to face her with a grin, excitement in his eyes. "Are you sure?" he asked eagerly.

Desai chuckled and in a quick burst of confidence, she jumped on the bed. "Yes." She told him, though she could practically feel every one of her insecurities being broadcast.

Looking at her with possibly the most loving expression she'd ever seen, Thomas slowly approached the bed again and bent down to bring his lips to hers.

Desai eagerly kissed him back, winding her fingers in his curly hair as she tugged him closer, causing him to climb on top of her, his hands coming around her torso to pull her closer. Desai closed her eyes as she felt his lips move away from hers, soft, warm kisses traveling down her jaw, her throat, down to her chest. Thomas was careful to kiss and lick gently at her nipples, (he didn't want to take all the milk from his children).

Thomas's tender touch continued down her body as he kissed down her breasts all the way across her stomach, his mouth moving sweetly over her soft middle. He kissed the stark red stretch marks and soft rolls of flesh on her lower belly, and his hands lovingly came up to caress her round hips.

Desai felt warmth building inside her as his mouth came down to the scar from the cesarean and kissed along the length of it then down the center of her abdomen to her vulva admiring the neat bush of her pussy. Thomas glanced up at her curiously, as if asking for permission.

"Okay." Desai nodded, terrified, but trying to trust him.

As soon as his lips met her center, Desai's entire body tensed up and panic began leaking through her veins.

"Relax," Thomas murmured quietly, pulling his mouth away to gently kiss her inner thighs, as if trying to prepare her, "Relax, baby. It's me."

"You don't have to," she whispered, "If you don't want to."

Thomas laughed softly, "I've _wanted_ to for months. Are you ready for that?"

"I don't know," she admitted, "I mean...I really want you to. But I'm afraid."

Thomas planted another warm kiss to her inner thigh, and then to her vulva, "I'll be gentle. Tell me if you need me to stop."

"Okay," Desai agreed, the desire to have him inside her overcoming her insecurity and fear.

Then, his lips were on her center, tongue coming out to move in slow, rhythmic circles over her clitand outer lips. Desai let out a low moan as the familiar pleasure of his tongue against her began to run through her body. Thomas took that as a good sign, and gently rubbed one finger along her entrance, not sliding it in yet, but working his tongue over her while he teased her parted lips to prepare her.

After weeks of helping to care for four crying and needy babies, feeling like a cow in a dairy hooked up to a milk machine, Desai felt like a _woman_ again. Her insecurities started to fade as she felt Thomas's tongue dancing over her sensitive flesh, his sole purpose to make her feel good. Everything he was doing was entirely focused on _her_.

"Is it okay if I put a finger in?" Thomas pulled away to ask softly.

" _Please,_ " Desai encouraged him.

He offered her a short smile at that before his tongue returned to its smooth, whirlpool motions on her clit. Slowly, she felt the pressure of his middle finger sliding inside her, gently moving in and out once before he pulled his mouth off of her again.

"Is it okay?" he asked her, "Does it hurt?"

"Not at all," she purred, "More."

Thomas slid another finger in, and Desai wiggled a little at the pressure.

Instantly he stilled, asking, "Desai?"

"It's okay," she promised, "Keep going, Thomas."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

His mouth came back to her clit again, and while he moved it expertly over her, his fingers gently slid in and out, curling up at the end as they hit her insides with a tender eagerness. She knew he was holding back, trying to ease her into it, which she appreciated. It felt fucking amazing. Almost four months was way too long to go without this. She didn't know how she'd waited so long.

Desai suddenly didn't give a shit how she looked.

It felt pretty inconsequential compared to the feeling of Thomas's mouth and fingers pleasuring her. Desai had heard horror stories from other moms about post-delivery dryness, low sex drive, inability to orgasm, and feared it would be the same thing for her.

As if Thomas Hiddleston would ever let that happen.

Desai's fists grasped the sheets as Thomas was spurred on by her noises of pleasure, increasing the speed and pressure of both his tongue and fingers as he worked on her wet core.

" _Thomas_..." she moaned, fingers coming up to tangle in his hair and tug gently.

"You taste so good my love." he murmured against her center, "So perfect. So perfect."

Desai was lost to the world then. Between the pulsing movements of his tongue and the assertive back and forth of his fingers, she could feel herself drawing close. It had been so long she wasn't surprised it didn't take much to get to this point. Not to mention, Thomas knew her well enough to know just the spots to make her feel good.

As she neared her climax, and let out a loud, whining moan, Desai's eyes shut and she focused on what she felt. Her husband's careful, but passionate focus on her, his long elegant dexterous fingers working their magic as he spent all his energy trying to make her feel good. His gentle words of comfort, his hard cock waiting for her. Wanting her. All of her fears and panic and stupid insecurities that seemed so ridiculous now that she had his mouth on her body, it all washed away as her body shuddered in a massive orgasm.

It was just Thomas and Desai.

And it had never felt better.

Finally, she came down from her high, breathing heavily, knees wobbling. She noticed Thomas was worriedly saying her name and blinked her glazed eyes at him.

"Huh?" she asked breathlessly.

"Are you okay?" he repeated, propping himself up on his arms to look at her from between her legs.

"Oh." She nodded feebly, "I'm pretty much the definition of _okay._ "

"You came super hard," Thomas said smugly with that smirk of his.

"Mmmhmm," she replied weakly, already feeling the drain of a powerful orgasm starting to overwhelm her body.

He climbed up beside her and leaned on his elbow, planting a quick kiss to her cheek, "I'm proud of you."

"We're not done yet Hiddles," Desai said sternly, glancing down at his hard cock.

Thomas looked at her unsurely, "Maybe this was a good place to start, babe. If you aren't ready, we don't need to do anything else right now."

"Thomas, you need to fuck me." Desai ordered him, "I need you inside me."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yes." Desai nodded, meeting his eyes seriously, "I mean it, Thomas. I'm ready. I want you. And I've like...never been wetter."

"I won't argue with that last point." he chuckled, then pursed his lips, "What's best? Want me on top?"

Desai rolled over and pushed his shoulders down on the bed, wrapping her thighs around his waist and hovering above his engorged cock for a moment. She looked down at his face. He had a slight beam of sweat across his forehead, his blue eyes looking up at her with hopeful amazement. God, she loved him so much.

Desai leaned down to kiss him and at the same time, lowered her hips slowly until the tip of his cock was brushing her center. He moaned against her mouth, but she kept their lips together, deepening the kiss.

Slowly, Desai lowered herself until she was completely filled up with him. It was a little uncomfortable, a tight, sort of painful pressure that almost felt reminiscent of losing her virginity. But she was ready for him, she wanted him.

"Are you okay?" he asked nervously after their lips had parted by a few centimeters. He looked at her seriously, "You gotta tell me if it doesn't feel good, darling girl. Does it hurt?"

"A little bit." she told him truthfully, "But it's worth it. I want you."

His brows pulled up worriedly, "Are you sure Desai? I don't want to hurt you."

"You aren't," she assured him, and slowly lifted her hips, sliding her wet center up the length of him and then back down, feeling the stretch loosen her up and grow more pleasurable with each motion.

Thomas's eyes squeezed shut and he let out a deep, gravely moan. She knew it wouldn't take him long either; four months was quite a while to go without cumming. Especially a sexually charged man like him. They acted like rabbits in heat at times.

"You okay?" he asked in a breathless, tight whisper.

"Stop worrying about me," she murmured.

"Not possible," he replied, eyes focused on hers in unadulterated pleasure. "My, God, Desai, you're even tighter than before! How is that possible? So fucking perfect!"

Thomas's hands came up around her hips to grip tight as Desai slowly gained speed and smooth motion, sliding up and down his dick as her palms lay flat on his chest. She had to admit, even though it started off a bit uncomfortable, she was quickly growing used to it again and it felt amazing. He wasn't small, so she was impressed with how quickly the pain was turning to ecstasy. Probably had a lot to do with how ready he'd gotten her.

" _Fuck_ -Desai," Thomas moaned, eyes still shut as she rode him rhythmically. Desai leaned closer and sucked on his neck, leaving little red markings on his skin as she did so, her hips still grinding down on his. Thomas's grip on her ass tightened marginally as his dick hit deep and hard. It was a bit of a shock to her system, but it wasn't painful, so she didn't stop.

"Desai, I'm gonna-"

"That's it Thomas, cum for me, baby," Desai whispered in his ear, teasing his earlobe between her teeth the way he liked.

 _"Not until you cum again,"_ he said as his fingers found her clit and began circling it in small and tight rounds. "That's it, darling. Oh, I feel your muscles, ummm, yeeeessss!"

 _"Mmmmmm..._ " they moaned together as they each let out a deep, guttural moan, and Desai pulled back to study his expression as she came. His eyes were open, his thick lashes framing his eyes as his straight nose scrunched up just the slightest. His mouth fell open in a tight O. His hips bucked up against hers sloppily, and she rode it out with him, watching the angles of his face contort into an expression of pleasure she hadn't seen in far too long.

After a moment, Thomas's breathing steadied slightly. He looked up at Desai with wide eyes, bringing his hand up to tuck a lock of dark hair behind her ear, gently brushing his knuckles over her cheek. She took his wrist in her hand and brought his knuckles to her lips, kissing each one lovingly.

"Are you okay?" he asked breathlessly, "Any pain?"

"Not at all," she assured him.

"You sure?" he checked again, "Nothing feels weird? You feel okay?"

"I'm okay," Desai promised, caressing his face with her hand, "I love you, Thomas."

"I love you, Desai."

"Thank you," she said shyly, "For...reminding me what we have. That I'm so much more than just this body I'm in."

"This _beautiful_ amazing body," he said, wrapping his arms around her torso and pulling both of their bodies up as he sat up against the headboard, still inside her. He kissed her warm chest adoringly, resting his face in the crook of her neck as she slowly ran her fingers down the back of his neck and spine.

"You really don't care that I'm heavier now?" Desai asked quietly.

Thomas scoffed, face still buried in her skin, "Desai, do you not realize that you're the settler and I'm the reacher in this relationship? You thinking you're somehow anything less than utterly stunning is confusing to me."

"I love you," Desai repeated, overwhelmed with how much she fucking loved this man.

"And I love you. I have from the start and I will for always." He smiled against her chest, and then pulled away to look at her face once more. "You're sure you're okay? Nothing hurts anywhere? Your stomach, or your vagina or back?"

"Totally fine," she promised, "I feel so good."

Thomas sighed, sounding relieved as his head fell against her chest again, and she resumed her gentle stroking of his hair, "I'm really glad you married me, Desai."

"I'm glad I married you too," she whispered.

"I've missed this so much," he admitted.

Desai laughed gently, "So have I."

Thomas gently rolled them sideways and pulled their bodies apart, leaning in once more to plant a soft, loving kiss on Desai's mouth, "And just for the record Desai, if you're ever feeling like that again...come and talk to me, okay? Please? You can't be walking around thinking these awful things about yourself. You're too damn good for that. If we need to _see_ someone...we can."

"I'm okay," she assured him, knowing he'd been worried and on the lookout for postpartum depression signs since he'd first heard about it. "If I'm feeling weird again I'll talk to you. But you really did make me feel better."

Thomas pulled her against his body and kissed her hair, "You're my everything, Desai."

"You're my everything too," she replied warmly.

Desai woke up the next morning feeling more confident than she had in months. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fall in love with this couple every time I write about them, they're not perfect, life isn't perfect.


	27. Chapter Twenty-seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> breakfast, babies, deer, Georgia, and sex

Upon waking Desai, showered, dressed, then went out to the kitchen after making sure the babes were clean and placed in their cribs, to start breakfast. She was in the mood for German pancakes and knew the perfect recipe. Tom wasn't in the house, probably out for his morning run or maybe talking with Luke at his office or over at the Hamilton Agency signing the tons of fan items.

It was early, barely six, so she tried to keep the noise to a minimum as she started the first pot of coffee which was fully leaded, she was drinking caffeine-free right now because of breastfeeding. She also put on the electric kettles for tea.

Turning on some soft music she checked on the babes again as she sat with her back to the door so that if anyone saw her they wouldn't see her breasts as she hooked up the double breast pump and then pulled her shirt down over it as she got back to the task at hand. Making breakfast.

Jack was the first to make his way out of bed and she could hear him as he cooed and spoke softly to the babes. "Good morning, Dee. You're up early, but thank goodness you are," he said as he kissed her cheek then grabbed a cup.

"Why's that, Dad?" she said as she returned the kiss.

"I have no idea in Hell how to operate that coffee machine." He sighed at the first sip, "The best thing ever invented besides the _Keurig_. Those I can work."

She laughed and almost snorted. For whatever reason, he knew nothing about how to work the big _Bunn_ coffee machine that provided coffee for everyone throughout the day.

"You make great coffee, girl, just like your mama."

"Thanks, Dad."

"You're up early," Tom said with a smile as he came in through the back door then kissing her.

"And you're really sweaty. Good run?" she asked as she gazed smiling into his eyes.

"Yeah."

Something was wrong with her world. "Why don't I believe you?" she asked smiling then at Tom's expression she added, "Tell me. What has _Fuckbutter_ done now?"

Jack spewed his coffee through his nose and coughed.

"Let me guess," she said when her husband remained quiet. "She ran with you?"

He had the grace to flush and disconnect eye contact.

"How far?"

"Desai – I ..."

"I think you'd better tell me ... starting right now."

Oh, she was pissed, that Southern accent of hers got more pronounced when she got mad and right now she sounded like she'd never stepped foot out of the state of Alabama and those green eyes of hers were flashing that signal of warning.

"For about three blocks," he sighed, "And yes there were paps everywhere. There was no way around it, love. I was on my way home."

The anger at him left her immediately. "Sorry, earendel. I know it's not you, but she is seriously asking for a good old fashioned ass whipping and I know just how to give her one too without laying a hand on her."

"Babe, I ...," he began but at her look, he shut his mouth. My God but she was gorgeous when she was mad.

"Mix this up," she said pointing to the ingredients she had laid out on the counter. "I'll be right back."

"Babe?"

"Thomas, please just mix it up – in the blender if you don't mind. I'll be right back."

"Desai, what ..."

"If it's all the same to you I'm going to take a piss and check on how much milk I've produced. Any other questions?"

He shook his head knowing she was up to something that had to do with _Miss Fuckbutter_.

"What's going on, Tom?" Jack asked after hearing the exchange between husband and wife.

"You met the woman who came by the other day?" Tom asked as he raised an eyebrow.

"Yes," he chuckled knowing what his daughter called her.

Tom nodded. "Well, she's doing her damnedest to cause problems between Desai and me." He nodded toward the direction Desai had gone, "This shit keeps up I'll be under house arrest."

"What shit?" Diana asked as she entered the kitchen.

" _Miss Fuckbutter_ ," Jack said as Diana grabbed a cup and a teabag then poured the hot water from the kettle.

"How delightful. What has she done now?" Diana asked as she looked at her son.

"Joined me for my morning run."

"Oh, shit," she muttered. "Does Desai know?"

"Does Desai know what?" she asked as she entered the room carrying her double breast pump and two almost full bags, at Diana's expression she added, "Oh, _Miss Fuckery Fuckity Fuckbutter_." She looked at the items still laying on the counter and gave a huff as she grabbed the blender completely ignoring Jack's harsh cough as he once again spewed coffee through his nostrils.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Thomas move and pointed a finger at him. She got her cast-iron skillets hot with butter and the oven ready. He sat back down watching as she expertly cracked the nine eggs and began to blend them until they were light and fluffy adding the other ingredients in increments until they were all blended together.

"What are we having?" Thomas asked as he sipped his coffee.

"German pancakes," she said softly as she gazed at him giving him a smile. "I love you, dufus." She raised her head listening, "Harry's awake. Care to bring him here?"

"Sure love." He had no idea how she knew which of the children had whimpered or how she knew it was for milk and not a diaper change. Mothering instincts at their best he presumed as he lifted his son to carry him to his mother. "You know you are going to be as tall as me before you know it, you're getting so big," he murmured to the babe and was given a grunt and a smile.

She poured the batter into each of the three large cast-iron skillets smiling at the sizzle as it spread around the bottom then placed them in the oven and was sitting at the table when Thomas came back in with Harry. "There's my big boy," she beamed as she gathered him into her arms and to her breast. "There you go, love," she said as she moved her nipple into the baby's mouth.

James came in looking as if he hadn't slept well. "Morning," he croaked out.

"Da', are you okay?" Desai asked.

"I couldn't sleep last night. I kept hearing someone or something outside."

"I'll have Jason check the cameras," Thomas said as he called the security service. No one should be inside the, for lack of a better term, compound. As he turned back around from his conversation, Desai was sitting peacefully feeding Harry and he stopped in his tracks.

The way the sunlight shone on her from behind ... he rushed back into his office and grabbed his camera hoping that she didn't see him or move from where she sat. He began snapping pictures hoping that they came out and not much if any editing would be needed. She looked like an angel and he stood watching in amazement wondering how he had gotten so lucky, giving his wife a smile he tenderly tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear as he walked up to her, "I love you, Desai."

She looked into his eyes as she continued to feed Harry. "I love you, Thomas. You and our children are my world. Please understand when I get a bit defensive especially when someone tries to tear it apart."

She looked down at their son who had finished feeding and was looking at his mother wearing a smirk as he slapped at her breast. She just laughed then passed him to Thomas to burp as she covered herself and moved to go get James for his first feed of the day.

Feeding the children took quite a lot out of Desai, caloric wise, and energy-wise, now that she actually felt like a woman again she felt more confident in herself and everything around her. Which is why she had called her friend at one of London's papers and told her what had happened with Thomas's ex. As a result, she had been asked to bring in a picture of the babes, she knew Thomas would be angry, but he and the children were her world and she'd be damned if a conniving woman would ruin it.

"What's on your mind?" Thomas asked as she sat feeding Sophia while he burped Catherine.

She glanced at him, oh, he knew her almost all too well. "I've made an appointment to see Julia at The Sunrise."

He, bless his heart, looked confused as he asked, "Why?"

I sighed, "Well, she's been asking for an interview since before I delivered and I finally told her yes." She saw the anger rising in his face. "Before all that handsomeness explodes all over me allow me to tell you something and you can get mad at me if you want, truth be told if the shoe was on the other foot I probably would too, but please understand this. Instinct tells me that she's not trying to come between us – she wants to ruin us by ruining your career."

"She's not ..."

He stopped as Desai nodded, "She's devious, we both know that. She's smart I have to give her credit there. If she messes up your career, you would no longer be _the you_ everyone knows and loves. You need acting like these children need us. _YOU NEED IT._ Without it you'd wither away, become bitter, and that my love would break us apart. I won't allow it." She smiled at his expression of understanding. "I promised Julia a picture of the babes. I have chosen the one that you took, you know the one in the nursery that doesn't show their faces."

Everyone laughed as Sophia suddenly burped loudly and Desai said, "You sound like your daddy!" Then she farted, Desai looked at Thomas, "Yep, definitely your daddy's traits are showing!" Everyone laughed again and as Desai gazed upon her daughter, Sophia grinned and Desai fell in love again, Sophia had her father's little smirk; oh was she going to be a handful!

After breakfast, Desai decided to go for a walk, she had powered up her body with vitamins, protein, and calcium, stuff her body needed extra of right now.

Wearing her compression hose and a tunic that covered her after-pregnancy belly, that after last night she no longer looked at in the same way. Put on a comfortable pair of low heeled boots and grabbed the leashes for both Bobby and Oakley.

"Where are you going?" Thomas asked as she raised up from clipping the leash on Oakley.

"For a walk, earendel. I need the exercise and so do these boys. How warm is it out? Do I have on too hot of a top?"

"You're perfect. Would you mind if I walked with you?" He would understand if she wanted to go by herself, but he knew how she was; guarded and yet sometimes outspoken if she believed someone was going to hurt him. She was a mama bear as she had called herself and was not ashamed of that. She had told him that she had his back and would spend her last penny if necessary to protect him and their children. He knew she had meant it.

"I would like that very much," she said smiling as he took Bobby's leash and she took Oakley's. While dressing she had made sure that any signs of fatigue was covered with concealer and she added a touch of mascara. For once she was glad of the full facial tattoo, less to do and her makeup always looked good.

As they walked to the gate the pups did their business and were then ready for their walk. As the gate opened the paps were there screaming out questions. Desai smiled as Thomas's arm snaked around her waist and she smiled at the cameras as they flashed.

Questions were fired rapidly at them and Desai just waved without answering – until one asked, "How do you feel about Tom and his ex-girlfriend hooking up?"

She laughed as she said, "That's a bald-faced lie. Have a good day!"

"You handled that rather well, darling," Thomas complimented her as they walked in the opposite direction and over to the park. They sat on a bench holding hands bodies touching from foot to shoulder as they sat silently in the midmorning sun.

"I wonder why that particular question was asked," she said as she gazed over at him.

"I was wondering the same. Shock factor maybe? Wishing to start an argument?"

"I hope that's all it is," she said quietly as she looked down. "I need to pump they're leaking."

"Well, it was nice to get out for a bit," he said standing offering his hand to her as they made their way back home to their family.

"I should have had the pumps in place and then just turned them on. Now I need another shower." She pointed to her breasts. "This stuff is sticky."

He grinned at her. "But it tastes good." He then laughed at her blush and added, "May I help you with your shower?"

"Are you going to behave yourself?"

"Certainly not."

"Then yes you may." She laughed as she bumped him with her hip. To the people that were watching them, it looked as if they were dancing down the sidewalk.

Desai waved as she passed the paps giving them a huge smile and a blown kiss. As soon as the gate closed she began jogging with Thomas in step beside her. "I've missed this!" she laughed.

So had he, she was happy, and for right now that's all that mattered to him.

***

**Three days later**

Stopping by the security service picking up the transcript, the audiotape, and the DVD of the conversation between Thomas and _Miss Fuckery Fuckbutter_ , Desai drove to The Sunrise to meet Julia.

She was directed straightaway to Julia's office and once the women caught up on what had transpired since they last saw each other Julia became all business.

"She's broke up more than one relationship," Desai.

Desai nodded. "I know but my and Tom's relationship is not what I'm concerned with. It's his career." At her friend's shocked expression she added, "He's doing great they just finished up with post-production on another movie and sorry that's all I know." She shook her head, "No, what bothers me is if she's got some sort of something hidden away for safekeeping that would make it appear that Tom is stepping out with her when he's not. A new wife and four children? Not good. I couldn't care less what is said about me. It's Tom and as I said his career that I'm worried about. I don't trust her as far as I can toss her."

"So what have you got?" Julia asked as she held out her hand.

Desai handed over a stuffed sealed envelope. "All of that came from our security service. I asked them to seal it all up just as they would for a trial."

"Smart girl," Julia said with a smile. "Ok, now I want that picture you promised me."

Desai handed it over, "This one shows their faces a little and was taken just after they got home."

"You thought I was going to publish this?" Julia laughed. "I know better. Tom would be furious if I did. No, Desai. I wanted this for me." She grinned at her friend, "Right now please allow me to handle things. I really don't think that once _Ms. Ignorant Bliss_ learns about this that she will cause any problems for you or Tom. At least she won't if she's smart."

"You got time for lunch? My treat. Your choice."

"I've been dying to go back to _Bellamy's_ ," Julia said as she nibbled her lip in hope.

"Then let's go! Then if you're up to it after we lunch we can go by the house. I know you want to see the babies."

Julia brightened. "You really are the best kind of friend anyone could want. Not to mention one of the luckiest women on the planet. You got the catch of the decade."

Desai laughed, "Tom is a rare find and a genuinely good man however he's still a guy. He can belch like a pro and ..."

"Don't ruin it for me!" she laughed.

***

Tom heard the giggling before he saw who the other woman was although he had an idea. "I'm not the one who drank almost two bottles of wine," Desai stated. "I can't drink while I'm breastfeeding, Julia."

"Speaking of breastfeeding, do you..." she swirled her fingers in the direction of Desai's breasts, "wear that milking contraption everywhere you go?" Then she began making whirring noises. "The gentleman at the next table probably thought those magnificent titties were going to fly away!" She burst into giggles.

Desai looked up to see Thomas leaning in the doorframe arms and ankles crossed. "Looks as if the two of you had a good time."

"Magnificent!" Julia crowed. "You should have been there, Tom!" She narrowed her eyes at him. "Why weren't you there?"

He gave her a grin. "Desai needed some time away, she's been cooped up here with me and the Little Hiddles with way too much on her mind."

"Thomas, would you mind getting the bags out of the backseat?" Desai asked as she moved over to him giving him a kiss. "I missed you," she murmured against his lips.

Tom nodded as he went out to the garage.

"Stop it you two. My god, you have four already. Seeing the two of you together makes me horny."

Jack walked in at that moment and coughed.

"Dad, this is our friend Julia Randolph, she is the Chief Editor at The Sunrise."

"Dad?!" Julia exclaimed.

"Step-father, but she's chosen to claim me." He stuck out a hand as he said, "Jack Lockland at your service, Miss Randolph."

"Excuse me, Dad, Julia, I need to begin feeding the babies," she said as she gave him a kiss on his cheek.

Tom walked in as she was removing her breast pumps. "Thank you, love, you didn't have to bring anything home, but I'm glad you did."

"Chef Stéphane said it had been far too long since the two of us have been in. I think what was sent was a bribe from him to get us back in."

"He didn't charge for that?!"

"Nope nor for my and Julia's lunch and two very good bottles of Mâcon Blanc Domaine de la Denante 2018. Which Julia drank." She gazed over at him as he took a seat beside her on the bench at the end of their bed. "She didn't open the envelope or interview me."

"Did you expect her to?"

"Well, in a way I did. I mean I wouldn't have said anything without thinking about my answers ..."

He leaned in and kissed her deeply and thoroughly. "I've gotten so used to you being here with me ... you are my addiction, Desai. It scares me how much I need you."

"Ummm, I understand exactly what you mean, Thomas. I swear if it were possible I'd have you inside me every minute of every day. I love how you make love to me. It just keeps getting better and better." She caressed his face as she asked, "How is that possible?"

He moved his forehead against hers, "I don't know, but I'm glad that you haven't lost interest in me."

"Why would I?" She looked him in the eyes. "Thomas, I love you and I always will."

"Because for so long I was like that or I was treated like that." He cupped her face as he kissed her again.

"I'm never going to get tired of you. I'm not," she said as she began to peel off her clothes. "Go lock the door," she whispered against his lips.

When he turned back around she was on the bed on her knees. He needed no other invitation. When she murmured, "I want it, daddy." He almost laughed as he remembered his reading of _The Kingdom of Earth_ by Tennessee Williams.

She was glistening and ready for him and needed no preliminaries. He slid in with a hiss, "Fuck, but you are tight." As he reached underneath with one hand he began circling her clit in rhythm with his thrusts.

She leaned further down shoving her face in the pillows to block out her moans as she met him thrust for thrust. She came so hard that she pushed him out of her, he never let up and shoved himself back in to the hilt. She ground her ass against him as he rode her through her orgasm and then through his.

It was quick but satisfying, and they both needed it, he gathered her up and carried her to the shower. He licked her nipples as they leaked milk, "I may start using this in my coffee," he said with a wicked grin.

Desai couldn't stop the laughter that escaped from her lips as she did her best to keep her hair from getting wet as she quickly cleaned herself up. "Later, we'll do it properly," she promised with a stroke to his cock.

"Good, because I hate being quiet."

"Me too."

Dressed in jeans and a crimson button shirt that allowed easy access for feeding, she and Thomas entered the living room to find Jack and Julia sitting next to each other, faces flushed, and lips swollen. Desai gathered up Sophia, changed her before she began to wail, and put her to her breast. "Goodness, you're drinking like you haven't been fed all day, little one," she said with a smile. Thomas was busy with Catherine getting her changed and giving her a bottle.

Julia sat in awe as she watched her friend breastfeed in front of her step-father. "It's the most natural thing in the world," Jack said as he touched Julia's hand.

"I just never thought that I would see Desai happy let alone married with four beautiful children. How do you do it?" she asked.

Desai looked up questioningly, at Julia's nod, she said, "The broken will always be able to love harder than most. Once you've been in the dark, you learn to appreciate everything that shines. That's how I do it, along with my Faith. There are going to be things that happen in life that are out of our control. Shit is going to happen ... that's just life. It's how a person deals with those horrible times that can make or break a person and if that person is in a relationship it could be a make or break situation that in turn could break that relationship up.

"I'm not going to sit here and tell you that the horrible things that have happened to me didn't affect me or us. Of course, it did. I have nightmares, brought on by PTSD, Thomas can attest to that, but knowing that he's with me and that he will always be makes me believe that nothing can or will come between us." She looked at her husband, "I love you and I always will, with and past my last breath. So please, please, forgive me when I get upset about someone who would enjoy nothing better than to ruin you and in doing so ruin us."

"Well, I'm not going to allow _Miss Ignorant Bliss_ to do anything to either of you. I only wish that others were as close as the two of you." She gazed at the two of them then asked, "You talk about everything – don't you? I mean day-to-day things as well as all the important stuff."

"There's nothing I cannot talk to her about. She is really my best friend. And that makes us closer than many think is possible."

"May I interview the two of you? Not today of course but in the near future and here so that you could be near the children."

They looked at each other and without a word being spoken both nodded at Julia. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes my muse talks faster than I can type


	28. Chapter Twenty-eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heading back to Georgia -- Desai finds a fawn -- sex on the plane

**Three days later**

"Looks as if we'll be heading to Georgia before too long," Thomas said as he stalked out of his office.

"So soon?" Desai asked as he took a seat beside her. "Earendel? What's wrong?"

"Production here in London has been shut down; they are moving everything to Georgia."

Tom, Desai, and Jack looked around as Diana and James came in arguing with each other. "And I told you I heard something! I don't give a damn what the security service said! There is something out there! I am not imagining things!"

"James, Tom checked with them there was nothing on the cameras!"

Desai looked at Tom then at James as she passed the baby to Thomas so he could burp Sophia she cleaned her breast and fastened her bra. "Da' would you please ..."

"Why?! No one believes a goddamn thing I say!"

She finished her sentence gently, "Show me where you heard the noise. Cameras don't always pick up everything."

His voice softened, "I'm sorry daughter."

"It's not a problem Da'." She gave him a hug. "Let's go," she said softly following him outside.

They walked in silence around the house stopping when they came to the window of James's room. She motioned for him to stop when she saw some tracks, "What the fuck?" she mumbled lowly. "Deer? Here?" she moved the shrubbery to see two very large and frightened dark brown almost black eyes looking at her. She squatted down and the small animal just ran right into her arms. It was a fawn she thought or the smallest deer she had ever seen.

She stood up with it in her arms and turned and James said in awe, "A Muntjac?"

Desai looked at him her face scrunched in confusion. "A muck what?"

"A Muntjac," he said more clearly. "And from the looks of it a fawn." He looked around, "I wonder where its mother is?"

"How did it get in?" she wondered aloud as the animal nuzzled her neck. "Never mind about that. Let's figure out what to do with you my darling."

James opened the door for her and when she walked in Thomas's eyes widened and he said, "No, fucking way," as he backed up next to the children's cribs. She only looked at him and smiled as she passed him and went directly to the kitchen. "What are you doing?!" he boomed as he shuddered.

She turned still holding the fawn and said calmly, "I'm going to give it some greens and some breast milk and see if I can find a veterinarian to help show me how to care for it until I can get it to someone who can."

"That thing is not staying here!" he bellowed. "Get it out of my house!"

Everyone looked at Tom in shock then back to the cribs as the once resting and quiet babies were all screaming.

She simply nodded, not wanting to start an argument, walked past him, and went to the garage placing the fawn in her car with Thomas on her heels. "Where are you going?!" he yelled.

"You said to get it out of _your_ house. That's what I'm doing." She eyed him with a slitted glare. "I'll be back in time to feed the children. In the meantime could you please try and get them calmed down? You scared them with all your horrendous screaming." She was about to get in the car. "Thomas I'm carrying it to the shelter to see if they can find somewhere it can be kept. It's too young to fend for itself."

As the babies cries lessened Desai turned back to her car.

He grabbed her keys from her hand. "Turn it loose on the goddam lawn and get your ass back in the house!"

She cocked her head at him, furious at the way he was talking to her, "What did you just say? I know you didn't just order me to get back in the house ..."

"Get your fucking ass in the goddamn house. Now!"

"Who the Hell do you think you are?!" she screamed at him as she faced him. "Give me my keys Thomas," she gritted out.

"No. Turn that _thing_ loose. It's a wild animal and doesn't belong here."

"What is wrong with you!? I know that it can't stay here! I'm not stupid! It's a baby, for god's sake, Thomas. It cannot fend for itself. It needs food."

"They're dangerous!" he roared.

She reiterated, "It's a baby, Thomas. It needs food and shelter." She looked at the fawn as it sat quietly in the front seat looking at her as if to say, 'Well, I'm ready are you?' Desai said, "Look at it. Does it look like it's going to hurt anyone?"

He shivered and as she looked at him she realized he was scared of it. "Thomas? Why are you so afraid of it?" she asked quietly as she tried to make sense of why her husband was so afraid of a baby deer.

He stared into her eyes and pulled her closer. "I was attacked by one when I was a kid. Damn thing ran after me for what seemed like miles." He ran his fingers through his hair as he stared into her car.

"From what your father told me they are shy creatures, but just like any wild animal they will protect their young." She walked him closer to the car and as she did the fawn came out and snuggled against her leg. "Thomas, I want you to touch it. Get over your fear right here – right now." She looked up into his eyes. "I've heard you say that fear has no place in your life. That you just tell it no and get past it."

"I was talking about acting, not dealing with a wild animal with very sharp hooves."

"Touch it, Thomas," she said softly as she reached down and petted the animal squatting until she was at its level.

"Desai, please, get away from it," he begged as unbidden tears came to his eyes.

"Thomas, give me your hand, please." She stood back up and touched his face. When he looked at her she said, "Trust me, please." She gently pulled his hand until it rested on top of the fawn's head.

He smiled when the animal nuzzled his palm. "It's wet like a dog's."

She caressed his face as she said, "Thomas, I cannot let it die. It needs our help. Let me take it to the shelter so that one of the vets can get it to someone who can release it once it's healthy enough."

"Okay," he nodded. "But you shouldn't have touched it. Now, if its mum comes back, she won't nurse it."

"It ran to me, Thomas. Right into my arms. I wasn't going to touch it. I know about wild animals. And I think its mum is dead and underneath the shrubs by the house." She paused for a moment. "I smelled something while Da' and I were out there."

"Okay, but let's call and see if someone can come and pick it up," he suggested. "I don't want you to be alone in the car with a wild animal, no matter how cute it is. It's still a wild animal."

"Okay," Desai nodded conceding as she hugged him, "I love you, Thomas."

"I love you too, Desai." He called the veterinarian and the vet then called the shelter. As they sat the fawn kept nudging both of them wanting attention and food. They talked quietly as they sat on the steps leading up into the mudroom that led into the kitchen, both looking as if no argument had ever taken place. "Why is it that no matter how much I yell at you, you don't get as angry as you used to, not that you've ever really gotten that angry with me, why is that?"

"I honestly believe that it's a waste of time and energy, Thomas. I should have realized that you were scared of it. Had I done so sooner I would never have yelled at you to begin with."

"Shhh, shhh," he murmured as he kissed her hair. "I should not have made you feel like this house is not yours. You've probably lived in it more than I have." He looked around. "It needs some updates, love. Maybe those can be done while we are away."

"I want to thank you, Thomas," she said as she placed her hand on his thigh.

"For what?" he asked confused.

"Getting the passports for the children. That was sweet of you to do all of the paperwork."

"I also got a passport for Oakley. I thought that he might need one unless you plan on boarding him while we are away."

"I don't like when an animal has to be boarded. I know that he would be fine, but I love that scruffy fluffy face of his and he is so sweet."

"Unlike the character he was named after." He laughed.

"Hmm, I never thought of Oakley as being unkind, a bit arrogant but at that age most guys who know they have good looks are. Were you told the background of that character? I mean I thought when he turned Anna down that he was nice about it and that maybe he was afraid to be with an older woman or even maybe still a virgin but scared to admit that he had zero experience and plus she was married, maybe that brought back a memory of his parents or something."

"Joanna would have loved to work with you!" He laughed again. "No, as far as I know, there was no background to Oakley. He was portrayed as I was directed to portray him. I think you've seen deeper into him than I did. To me, he was arrogant and rebellious. And a liar." She smiled at him as he tucked a curl behind her ear. "I think that's the first time we've discussed one of my characters in any detail. I rather like it, my darling."

"Glad to be entertaining, earendel." She smiled and then became serious. "Thomas, are you truly happy? Do you miss your life the way it was before you met me? I mean do you ever miss being alone? You pretty much have a full house now with me and the babes."

He smiled at her as he pulled her into his arms and on his lap. "Immeasurably, my love. Hell, no, I don't miss my lonely life. I am alone as much as I want or need to be. Listen to me and hear me well, my love, my one and only. You and the children have made me the happiest man in the universe." He nuzzled her neck as he whispered in Loki's voice, "Oh, my pet, the things I want to do to you once we are alone."

"Does it involve handcuffs or chocolate syrup?" she asked seductively.

He tipped up her chin and claimed her lips with him making her believe that Loki did truly reside within him. When he pulled away her eyes were glazed over and hooded, and her shirt was soaked, he was willing to bet that her panties were more than a little wet too. He chuckled, "Those breasts are working overtime, little one."

Desai smirked at him as she asked, "Wanna taste?"

Thomas groaned as his cock stiffened rapidly and painfully in his pants. "Oh, you ... you know exactly what you do to me don't you, pet?"

She grinned, "I've learned how to tease you and please you and I love doing both. I want to have as much fun with you as often as I can."

He was about to reply when a vehicle drove up with **RUNHAM WILDLIFE RESCUE** emblazoned on the sides. The man that got out was smiling brightly as he asked, "You have a fawn?"

"Yes we do," Desai said as she tried to hide her wet shirt. "I'm not sure but I think its mother is dead and is under some of the shrubbery around on that side of the house," she added as she pointed in the opposite direction of where she was standing. "Could you check and if so remove it?"

Tom was grinning at how she used her hands when she talked, _the kids have no chance at all,_ he thought, because he was just as bad.

"Sure." He grabbed a black bag from the back seat of the truck and a large sturdy rake from the bed and headed around the house. Tom moved to help him. Desai knew he would be tossing up what he had eaten earlier if he got too close to it.

A little while later the men walked back around the house each holding onto the handles of the bag. Tom was looking a bit green around the gills.

The fawn nuzzled the man's arms as he picked it up, Desai being Desai couldn't resist as she placed a hand between its ears. "Goodbye, sweetness," Desai said softly as she flopped its ears. "You be good and grow up to be big and strong."

It called after her, sounding as if it was calling 'mama' as it was placed in a crate in the back seat. It had been confirmed that not only was its mother dead but so was its sibling. Desai turned her face into Thomas's chest and sobbed.

He held her as he sympathetically rubbed her back and murmured soothing words. She was so tender-hearted and forgiving. After a few moments, she raised up, wiped her eyes, nodded, and moved to go back in the house. He placed his hands gently on her shoulders, "I'm sorry love."

She turned and was facing him, "For what?"

"Yelling at you. I shouldn't have done that. You were just trying to help it."

She caressed his face leaning in to kiss him. "Forget it, Thomas. I understand. There are things I'm still afraid of too."

"Like what?" he asked looking her in her eyes.

"Like you leaving me never to return. I have nightmares about you being gone from me. I wake up crying sometimes and then I feel you next to me and I just burrow closer."

He pulled her closer. "I'm never leaving you, darling. Please believe that." He smiled and picked her up with his arms fitted around and under her butt. "You've lost more weight," he commented.

"I want to wear all those clothes you bought me."

"I'm proud of you, but you really look good to me, my love. You still have that glow."

"It's love, Thomas. It's the love I have for you and our children."

***

Tom was in Heaven as he proudly walked with the 'pram' as he called it, Desai still called it a stroller and that stroller had helped her get back down to her pre-pregnancy weight and into those old jeans once again. It was now early December and time to head back to Georgia, this time they would be taking four children and two dogs.

Thank God for Bobby! He was able to settle Oakley down but Little Sophia was so nervous with all the new noises she was inconsolable. She wouldn't take a breast or bottle. Even with Thomas holding her, cooing, and even singing a lullaby ... nothing worked. She cried until she cried herself to sleep.

Desai cried out of sheer frustration because she felt helpless to help her child. "I'm going to look for headphones to fit all of them," she said finally as she took another deep and calming breath.

"I didn't think of that, love," Thomas said as he pulled her into his embrace while he held Sophia.

Desai sniffled as she placed a hand on her daughter's body close to Thomas's hand. "I love you, Little One. I'm sorry you got so upset we'll get something for the noise on the next trip," she murmured.

Thomas leaned over and kissed her as he whispered, "You are such a good mum." Secured against his chest Desai fell asleep listening to his steady heartbeat.

When she awoke it was dark and Thomas's hand was languidly rubbing her nipple while he nuzzled her ear and neck. "Ummm," she murmured as she turned her head to capture his lips in a deep and thorough kiss. "How long have the babes been sleeping?" she asked sleepily.

"For about an hour. I cleaned them up and gave them their bottles. I didn't want to wake you. I know you haven't been sleeping well lately. You really have to talk to me about that, my precious little one, but right now, let's go somewhere a bit more private. Please?"

"Ummm, I agree, earendel," she said as she got up and moved to the larger bathroom in the back of the plane.

She grabbed his shirtfront and pulled him into the space smiling as he locked the door behind him. Desai's fingers deftly unfastened his jeans and let them fall to the floor then with one finger pulled his boxers down and released his half hard shaft. Thomas looked down at her as her mouth obliterated what he was going to say as she flicked her tongue over the tip of his cock, within a millisecond his cock was standing at full attention.

Teasingly she said, "Hmmm, you really should have been charged for excess baggage," as she looked up at him with wide eyes, and he groaned in response as her lips sank down over him.

Thomas forgot that they were on a plane within seconds, focusing on nothing but the feel of his dick between her soft lips, the stroke of her tongue across the throbbing vein on the underside of his length. Her slim fingers were wrapped around the base of him, her pinky finger just lightly brushing his balls as she eagerly sucked down every inch she could fit in her mouth. When the head of his cock bumped the back of her throat, her body responded and clenched, providing the sweetest kiss of tightness.

Desai pulled back, gasping for air, keeping her fingers locked tight around him. The slick of her saliva provided extra stimulation as she repeatedly stroked his cock but it only made Thomas think of nothing else but being inside her tight and soaked pussy.

"Up," he ordered, and she obeyed, tugging her skirt down fruitlessly - he'd have it around her waist soon enough. Twisting in the space proved difficult, and her arm knocked the door release, leaving it unlocked to the outside. She reached to lock it again, but Thomas stopped her, grinning wickedly. "Leave it."

One eyebrow arched at his request, and she hesitated. "Someone might -"

"Maybe," Thomas purred. "Maybe they'll open the door and see you bouncing on my cock. Maybe they'll open it just in time to see you come."

"Anyone could hear us," Desai replied, her fingers trailing a line down the front of his shirt. "We'll have to be quick." There was the faintest smirk on her face, and Thomas groaned, leaning in to seize her oh-so sinful, beautiful lips with his own. Her answering mewl was accompanied by a moan as Thomas sank down onto the toilet seat, reluctantly parting from her mouth.

Desai hitched her skirt up, Thomas's hands assisting until the fabric was bunched messily around her waist, and he gave her a sly smile as he realized she wasn't wearing any panties. "Were you prepared for this?"

She shrugged, looking as nonchalant as possible. "I'm always prepared when it comes to you and your cock. I know you, Thomas, and I know me, and given the chance I'll fuck you anywhere."

Thomas smiled, opening his mouth to give her some smartass answer, but then she was in his lap, grinding her soft, wet pussy lips against his cock, and cognitive thought became a thing of the past. He exhaled and leaned back, feeling his head bump against the wall, but his eyes were glued to the sight of his thick cock emerging from between her thighs, glistening with her arousal.

"Fuck, Desai, can we do this more often?" he groaned, Desai giggled, before lifting herself ever so slightly just enough to allow the tip of his cock to press into her entrance.

She always moaned as her body stretched to accommodate his thickness and length. Sometimes she felt he was almost too much the way he stretched her open, and Thomas damn near forgot to breathe as she sank down onto him until her ass was flush with his thighs. At some point, he may have taken the Lord's name in vain, along with a few others but he was too surrounded by hot, wet, and tight pussy to care.

She started to bounce, using the added height of her heels to aid her movements, and Thomas didn't move for a few moments, just watching her fuck him. But it wasn't his style to let the woman do all the work. He slipped his hands over her thighs, marveling at the softness of her skin, before moving them further around to cup her ass.

"You feel amazing," he muttered, leaning his face into her chest, restricting her movements the slightest amount. It had been a long time since he'd had to open anything with his teeth, but apparently, it was like riding a bike. The buttons unhooked easily from their counterparts, and Thomas made quick work of tugging the cup of Desai's bra down, seizing one already pert nipple in his mouth and tasting mother's milk again. "Fuck you taste so good," he muttered as he fondled the other breast feeling the milk between his fingers. Raising up so that she could see him lick it off.

Desai whined loudly, grinding down on him to the point that he thought he might cum right there and then, but he wasn't anywhere near done with her. Using his legs, he stood, lifting her into his arms, adjusting their position so she was perched on the bathroom sink, her ass cushioned by his fingers.

From there, he could fuck her hard, hard enough to make the mirror at her back rattle. At that moment, the plane jostled with turbulence, but Thomas was beyond caring. If the fucking thing crashed and killed him, he'd know he died happy buried in Desai's perfect little pussy.

She was almost wailing now, and he was certain someone would hear. God, if anyone opened the door, he wouldn't even be ashamed; his pants were around his ankles, his belt jingling with every thrust, but his woman was coming undone around him, and he wanted more he freed her breasts from her bra and watched as they bounced freely with every stroke he was giving her.

"T-Thomas -"

"Sssh," he growled.

"Can't help it," Desai replied, leaning her head into his shoulder. "Gonna cum, need... need..." Her words dissipated into a high pitched cry, her cunt spasming around him, and Thomas grunted deeply, smothering his sounds with her breasts. Control was out of his hands as she kept squirming and flexing around him, and finally, his cock twitched, thick ropes of cum spurting into her warmth. Their combined efforts oozed out around him as he kept thrusting, unwilling to give up the sensation. Desai collapsed against him, making tiny pleasure-filled noises that had him smiling through the last vestiges of his climax.

Thomas reached up, tucking her disheveled hair behind her ear. "You know, we should really do things like this more often." Desai giggled as he gave her a filthy leer, leaning in to steal a kiss from her swollen lips. "I love you my precious little one. My one and only."

"And I love you would you bring me my breast pump? Someone's started the milk factory."

"I'm not apologizing, darling. You taste great and I have been using it in my coffee," He said as he smiled devilishly then kissed her forehead and went to get her bag. He was back at her side in a moment. "Do you need my help?" he asked sincerely.

She smiled at him as she said, "Nah, I'll clean up and get the milking done."

"You're not a cow, love," he said as he helped her refasten her bra and handed her a pair of panties. "For a just in case it's windy. I don't want everyone to see what a beautiful little cunt you have."

She blushed and smiled at her husband. "I love you, you silly man."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had fun writing this chapter


	29. Chapter Twenty-nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a difficult chapter to read -- it deals with rape -- sometimes concussions can cause people to not be in control and doctors don't always have the answers. Don't hate me for this. There are times my muses lead me in directions I'm not entirely comfortable with.

Desai sat patiently as Thomas was interviewed about the continuation of the Loki series and could not keep from rolling her eyes at the last question and Thomas smiled at her.

Interviewer: "If you had to do a real job... What would you do?"

_Desai kept silent but thought, "And is acting not a real job then?!?! Who knew that?!"_

"A professor. Thank you." He smiled shook hands with the woman gathered his coat and went to Desai.

"That was short and sweet," she whispered as he helped her into her coat and took the handle of the 'pram' then headed for the door. The children loved being in the stroller and were always excited to be out and looking at new things. And they were so dammed cute bundled up in their jumpers, coats, and beanies. They no longer looked like the tiny preemies they once were. They had filled out, even little Sophia was beginning to catch up with her sister.

A few days later he was auditioning for a part that in a way was more complex than Loki; he would be playing, if he got the part, a bad guy trying to go good. They would be filming at the lodge in Montana. She had talked with the production personnel and with the director and told them that they could film using the property for free. That allowed them to use the extra money for other things. Maybe she shouldn't have told them they could use it even if Thomas didn't get the part. Ah, well it was too late now and if she had it would have seemed like she was telling them they had better hire her husband. No, it was best left the way it was.

She looked at her phone wondering why Luke would be calling her. A moment later she was sitting on the floor with her head in her hands. Luke was on his way to take care of the children and then she would be taken to the hospital. She could hear Luke's voice in her head.

_'Desai, Tom's been in an accident. He's being taken for X-rays and they started an IV, they were also doing blood work. I'm coming to get you.'_

She sat outside in the waiting room of the large Emergency Room needing to hear news about her husband. When the doctor finally spoke with her he informed her that Thomas had a mild concussion and that he wanted to keep him in for at least 24 hours for observation. He also asked her a few questions about his behavior prior to the accident.

She explained about his personality and that he rarely got angry which the doctor had told her was not like how he was acting now. He said he hoped that the behavior lessened as the effect of the concussion wore off.

She thought about that a few days later as she sorted out and folded the babies' clothes at the kitchen counter. Thomas had been out of the hospital for three days now and seemed to be doing okay, he had complained about a mild headache but had been assured that there should be no lasting effects from the concussion but to be on the watch for changes in personality which sometimes happened.

Her head snapped up when she heard the front door slam. _Uh-oh. Something's wrong._ She was in the process of moving to slip out of the kitchen but he was standing right in front of her with a scowl on his face.

"Why did you tell them they could use your property in Montana...even if I didn't get the part?" he nudged past her deliberately knocking the folded onesies from her hands and into the floor. "I asked you a question, Desai," he ground out as he poured himself a very generous Jameson minus the ice he usually used.

"Because it's beautiful and if I can help cut down costs so that production can focus on the actors ..."

"Did it – oh fuck it never mind!" he huffed again as he drank the whiskey almost in one gulp then poured another slugging it down too.

"I'm sorry, Thomas," she said gently.

He grabbed her arm causing her to drop the clothes again. "Do you – no faith in me at all?" he asked with a pained voice.  


"Thomas! That hurts! And I have all kinds of faith in you, baby."

"I'm not a fucking baby!" he yelled.

She stood gaping at him, _what the Hell had happened?_ She had seen him in his bad moods and in Loki mode but this? This was not like him at all. "Okay. Thomas? Did –"

"Don't call me that!" he yelled as he grabbed her face. "My name is Tom! Damn, why can't you get that through your fucking head?!" he roared as he stabbed a finger into the side of her head.

She nodded dumbly, as she felt the tears behind her eyelids. Just then her phone rang. "Hello?"

Luke asked worriedly, "Is Tom there?"

"Yes."

"Don't let him leave. He knocked out a guy after the interview today."

She didn't hear anything else as realization hit her. "Tom, what's wrong? What happened?" she asked cautiously.

"Why?" he was eyeing her up and down. She knew that lecherous look, usually it was playful, but not this time. Before she could move he had her around her throat and her hands went to his automatically as her eyes pleaded with him to turn her loose as the phone fell to the floor. "Tom, please don't."

He mocked her, _'Tom, please don't'_ then he captured her lips in a bruising meeting of mouths. It was not a kiss, nothing close, it was pure domination and he didn't stop there.

Luke was listening and what he was hearing scared him, Desai hissed as her top was ripped away and then Tom said, "Take 'em off or I swear I'll cut them off you!"

Desai shimmed out of her jeans and underclothes and stood shaking as her husband sat her up on the center island and unzipped his pants releasing his hardened and engorged member. She did her best to relax knowing instinctively what he was going to do to her. She kept telling herself that it wasn't him – he didn't realize what he was doing – concussions can cause personality problems – she screamed, "Stop! Please stop! Tom! Noooo!"

Luke heard a slap then another and then Desai whimpering as sounds of sex continued.

"Get off the counter and bend over," he growled.

She complied as tears streamed down her face.

He reached around her and roughly rubbed her clit with one hand then slapped her ass hard and kept slapping it with every thrust, looking down he could see his dick as it pounded into her. He wondered about the blood but it was a fleeting thought as he chased his release. He made sure her hips got a spanking too. He pulled her up by the neck. "You better come for me," he ground out as he made tight circles with his hips. "Come, you little bitch," he said pumping her hard.

And God help her she did. She screamed his name as her body shook and shuddered and she cried.

Tom commanded, "Go get cleaned up and feed those fucking brats! You and those goddamn kids!" he boomed as he walked out slamming the front door behind him.

Desai half walked half crawled to their bathroom she refused to even glance at the mirror. She knew what she would see, she could feel the fluids as they slowly ran down her legs. _What am I going to do? I can't go to the Emergency Room! Too many questions!_ She sat on the tiled floor praying that Luke found Thomas and got him to a doctor. She jumped when her phone rang it was Luke. "Are you alright?"

"I'll be okay, did you find Thomas?"

"Yes, I brought him to the Emergency Room. He's having problems associated with the concussion, he was asking for you."

"I – I – can't Luke. I'm a mess ... in more ways than one. Tell him I love him and that I will see him when he gets home."

"That's probably going to be a couple of days," he lowered his voice and whispered, "Did he – did he do to you what it sounded like he was doing to you?"

"Yes, but he didn't know what he was doing. Thomas wouldn't do that to me, you and I both know that."

"Look, get cleaned up – I mean as much as you can and I'll sit with the kids."

"Luke," she broke down sobbing, "I can barely walk."

"Oh my God," he muttered just before she hung up.

She could hear Thomas in the background yelling drunkenly. He was right where he needed to be for now. Luke hung up just as Thomas began cussing worse than any sailor had ever thought about.

Desai crawled into the shower cleaning herself as best she could then on shaky legs made her way out to the bedroom to take care of the children. She shed silent tears as she diapered then fed the babes, needing them close she placed them in the bed with her making sure that the large body pillows were positioned so that the Little Hiddles wouldn't roll off. She cried herself to sleep her body shaking as she sobbed and prayed for her husband.

That's how Thomas found her the next morning, the children cuddled around her, the dogs at the foot of the bed, when he came home carrying a large vase of more than a hundred white roses with one single red one in the center. 

Luke had told him what he had done and had disagreed with Tom when he refused to stay at the hospital but Tom was as stubborn as they came and he left AMA (Against Medical Advice). Luke stood in the doorway of their bedroom looking at Desai as she slept he couldn't believe his eyes; she looked as if she had been in a boxing match.

She opened her eyes when she heard Luke's voice say hatefully, "You're a fucking bastard, Tom Hiddleston."

She jumped in fear when she saw Thomas standing there in the room wearing a scowl. "What are – I thought you were going to be admitted?" she asked cautiously trying to keep her fear at bay.

"I decided this is where I needed to be, but I'm not so sure. Desai?" he moved toward the bed only to frown when she smiled at him in welcome. "How can do you do that?" Looking over his shoulder he called to Luke, "Help get the little ones into their cribs. We've been putting Sophia in with Harry and Catherine in with James to get them used to sleeping with their siblings for a bit."

"Luke, are you okay?" Desai asked softly as she passed him Harry.

"Just peachy," he said throwing a scowl at Tom.

"Thank you, Luke." Trying to keep the men's attention she said, "I called Rosita and asked her if she could come in and cook today. I heard her earlier. It smells good but I'm not sure what it is she's cooking. Will you please stay and lunch with us?"

"Sure. Will – Are you al – going to be alright?" Luke asked worriedly as he placed James next to his sister Catherine.

"I'm fine. Don't worry about me." She smiled but he could see the sadness in her eyes. When he left and closed the door she gazed at her husband. "Are you okay?"

He ran fingers through his hair as he gazed at her, "Only you would ask me that." He sighed, "No. No, I'm not. I'm not sure I ever will be again." He tenderly picked up her hand and kissed her fingertips and knuckles. "Luke told me what I did. Why haven't you gone to the hospital? Why didn't you call the police?"

"What would I tell them? I refuse to ruin your life because of something that was out of your control, my love." She caressed his cheekbone. "I do believe that you should be admitted to the hospital, sometimes concussions can have lasting effects. And I'm not saying that to make you upset. I'm saying it because I love you and I need you in my life."

"All the tests were done, everything was okay except for the concussion." He burrowed his face in her chest as he hugged her and bawled like a baby. He had ... raped her, slapped her, punched her, damaged her – "How badly are you bleeding?" he asked as he looked her in her eyes seeing the bruises that covered her face and neck.

"I haven't checked since I fell asleep with the babes," she answered honestly. "Don't torture yourself. Please?"

"How can you say that?" he asked as he waved his hands wildly. "You have seen what I did to you have you not?"

She shrugged, "Doesn't change how I feel about you. I love you."

He just realized something, she had not called him by his name. "Desai, why – you haven't called me by my name."

"Oh, pfft," she sounded as she moved to get out of bed.

Thomas watched her as she slowly got up. "I hurt you more than you're letting on. Desai, I can't lose you. I can't. I've known it for a long time but ... I really would cease to exist if something ever happened to you. God help me, I hurt you!" he hissed the last part. He helped her to their bathroom then he called for Luke. "Luke I need your help, I've – Desai – needs – she's hurt and I believe badly. Is there someone – a doctor we can call to come see her?"

***

The doctor handed Luke a prescription and gave Thomas a dirty look as he left with a warning, "Next time you want rough sex, hire a hooker! Because if this happens again ... I'll personally see to it that you get jail time fancy actor or not!" He was about to walk out the door then turned and said, "No sex for eight weeks, and I mean that you sorry excuse for a man. You don't deserve her. She took up for you, said you didn't realize what you were doing. I say bullshit!" With that, he turned and left.

Desai lay lightly sedated and would have to rely on her frozen milk to sustain the babes for a couple of days until it was out of her system. The doctor gave her instructions to pump and dump for the next twenty-four hours. But she had made up her mind not to take the pain meds, she could do without it.

What she couldn't do without was her husband. She watched him through barely open eyes as he fed and changed their children and swapped out the girls and boys. "You look like a natural doing that," she whispered.

He turned to look at her, he was holding James and talking softly to him then lay him down in the crib next to Sophia. When he turned around he stood there looking at Desai, "What did the doctor say?"

 _Always be honest with him._ "I have two vaginal tears that will heal on their own. He gave me a script for pain meds, but I won't take it. The children need pure breastmilk and I will need to pump and dump before they get fresh again." She sighed, "Enough about me, earendel. How are you?"

He shrugged and his shoulders sagged. "I'm not sure. I love you. And I am so very sorry." Tears flowed down his face as he walked over to the bed to kneel down. "I will spend the rest of my life making up for what I did to you. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Earendel –"

"No. Stop. Call me by my name, Desai. I need to hear it. Please," he pleaded.

She clasped his hands in hers then brought his left hand to her lips as she murmured, "I love you, Thomas William Hiddleston, with every fiber of my being. I forgive you although –"

"Don't," he warned gently. "What I did to the woman I swore and made an oath to honor, to keep –"

She made him stop as she placed a finger to his lips and moved to hold him against her chest as she lay her head on his. "Answer me this, Thomas. What do you remember about the audition? What kind of accident did you have?" she asked as he wrapped his arms around her and looked up at her.

He stared at her as he asked, "What has that got to do with –"

"Tell me, please answer me," she said as she caressed his face feeling his soft short beard as she leaned down and kissed him lightly. "Tell me, Thomas."

"I remember the audition. Everything went well. I had you on my mind and couldn't wait until I could tell you that I got the part and that we all will be going to Montana in about a month." He paused then said, "I slipped in some water I think, I fell and landed on my back but my head hit the floor. After that things get foggy and warped like a bad dream."

"Tell me, Thomas," she coaxed.

"I thought I was having a nightmare – a night terror. I really didn't realize I had punched someone." He rubbed his face as he cried, "I felt as if someone else had taken over my body in a way and they were in control. I don't know how I got here. I do know I feel so ashamed my love. I know that I've hurt you before and you don't – didn't deserve it – any of it. I love you with everything I am and I am so sorry, but that's not enough it never will be. I cannot take back what I did to you," he cried as he buried his face in her lap. "God knows I love you and I would never hurt you on purpose. Please believe that!"

She lay her head on top of his and rocked him slowly. "I know, my love. I know," she whispered. "Come, lay with me, and hold me, please. I need to feel your arms around me. I need to feel you wrapped around me, Thomas."

He raised up and as she moved over to allow room for him he lay down and pulled her close tucking her head under his chin. "Jack will kill me if he sees you like this, and I deserve it. I deserve a beating. A flogging. Anything, but the forgiveness you've given. I don't deserve it, but I am glad you can because I will never forgive myself."

She felt him as he sobbed and wept, then he relaxed and she knew by his breathing he was asleep. "Oh, my love, forget what hurt you, but never forget what it taught you," she murmured against his chest as she fell asleep in his arms.

She awoke when Thomas slid out of bed to take care of one of the girls, her guess it was Sophia. She slipped out of bed and walked to stand next to him. "How are you feeling?" she asked him as she touched his shoulder and cheek.

"My head hurts a little, but my heart hurts worse. My heart aches. I could have – lost you – all of you." He placed a kiss on his daughter's forehead and placed her next to her brother. He turned to face Desai. "How are you?" he asked tenderly as he gently traced a finger over her cheek and then tucked a curl behind her ear.

She smiled at him as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "I'm getting better all the time." She began to move back and forth in a slow dance as she smiled at him. "Thomas, will you do something for me?"

"If it's in my power, of course, I will." He placed his forehead against hers.

"Forgive yourself," she said softly as she pulled him closer.

"I can't," he said as he hugged her tightly and cried. 

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was hard to write. As I have said my muses take me in different directions at times and this was a surprise for me -- I argued with him for days before he told me a few things and I finally got it all down.


	30. Chapter Thirty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a chapter that deals with the healing that occurs after a rape. Desai is not having as much of a problem with it as Thomas is -- of course, she is in a better state to understand what happened. He's stuck -- suffering from PTSD now -- when he looks at her it all comes back.

Desai awoke to hear two male voices arguing loudly. She knew who it was and the subject was herself as she had heard her name mentioned more than once during the yelling match.

It sounded as if Luke was giving Tom a reaming and not in a good way.

"If I have to I will have a doctor pronounce you unfit for work! You need to get over this head injury before you do anything else!" Luke boomed. "This anger that is coming from you has to be dealt with before another incident happens! Have you not seen – do you not care about the damage you've done?!" He pointed up to the bedroom where Desai was still, hopefully, sleeping. "I know all about your little escapades with needing to not be a goody-two-shoes, I understand that. But what you did—" he was cut off as Tom turned.

"Do you – don't you dare think that for one moment I don't realize what I did to her! Every time I look at her I see what was done! And that I did it! So I don't need a goddamn lecture from you or anyone else! I could have killed her! And it kills me to look at her knowing that I could have lost it all!" He waved his hands frantically. "So don't stand there in your righteousness Saint Luke and preach to me about what I need to do!" He waved his hands around as if trying to scramble his thoughts back into a pile. "Filming doesn't start for another couple of weeks. If, and I do mean if I am not back to who I was before ... then we'll go from there and you have my blessing to call in whoever you deem necessary to help me deal with whatever this is going on in my head. I know I'm not this kind of person. I never have been. Playing Loki can make me need certain things ... it's more of a need for complete control, but what I did to Desai, who has been hurt enough for ten lifetimes ... was inexcusable." He shook his head as tears flowed down his face. "Understand this, Luke, and hear me well, I will never forgive myself for what I did to her. When I said those wedding vows I meant them and I broke several of them and though I remember what I did to her," he shook his head, "I could no more stop it than I could have stopped a runaway train. And I can tell you I would rather be dead than to feel like that again."

Luke stood silent then moved to pull Tom into a hug. "I'm sorry, Tom, but damnit, if I can see the difference in you, then others can too and they will focus on that. Possibly to make things worse."

Tom nodded into Luke's shoulder looking up as he heard one of the children. They both headed up to the bedroom and opened the door to see Desai sitting calmly giving James a bottle. "Hello, are you two still friends?"

Thomas smiled, "Always. Luke always has my best interest at heart."

"There have been times when I've been wrong," Luke said as he smiled at Desai.

"Well, I love you both. And Thomas, I do believe that Luke is right about this. I did some reading about concussions just to refresh what I had learned as a nurse, and even in their mildest form, they can cause personality problems. With the one you sustained it is considered to be a TBI."

"What's a TBI?" Thomas asked confused.

"Traumatic Brain Injury. Traumatic brain injury can have wide-ranging physical and psychological effects. Some signs or symptoms may appear immediately after the traumatic event, while others may appear days or weeks later. These types of injuries can cause people to have hallucinations both with vision and auditory, but they can also cause so much more. Violent and combative actions, not sleeping, headache, nausea or vomiting, fatigue, drowsiness, difficulty talking, dizziness, or loss of balance. Not to mention sensory problems, blurred vision, ringing of the ears, odd or bad taste in the mouth, changes in ability to smell. Sensitivity to light or sound." She took a breath and continued, "Then there's the cognitive, behavioral, and mental symptoms. We know you lost consciousness but for how long? You've not said if you've had any problems with your memory or concentration. We know you've had changes in your mood. We also know you have been feeling anxious and possibly depressed about what happened. You've also had trouble sleeping. How many have I gotten right, earendel?"

He sat in front of her on the floor, "Pretty much all of them. I told you it was as if something took over my body, but as I told Luke I couldn't for the life of me stop it. There was a part of me that I think tried but was shoved aside and locked in a room. I could see and feel everything that was happening but couldn't stop it." He held his face in his hands as he cried, "I keep seeing what I did to you. I vowed to take care of you, to cherish you ... and I raped you. I took your body by force, something that I've never done to anyone else. I've treated sex workers better, but somehow the woman I love with all my heart bore the brunt of my wrath ... and I am oh so sorry. I will spend the rest of my life..." he raised his head to look at her, "making sure that I make up for that selfish act."

"Thomas," she began as she passed James to Luke. "You had no idea what you were doing. Please, I beg you to talk to someone before this tears you apart. I understand about brain injuries, Thomas, firsthand. I can get you in touch with the lady I talked to, she understands about things like this but you have got to make the first step."

**Two weeks later**

Desai had ordered noise reducers for all of the children, she didn't want to go through the helplessness she felt on that first flight with the children ever again. Thomas gave a laugh as he saw them; they had bear ears on them. "You should do that more often, my love," she teased lightly. 

He looked at her questioningly and remarked, "I do laugh. I laugh all the time."

She smiled sadly as he gazed at her. "Not around me. Forgive yourself, Thomas. It's eating at you, earendel," she pleaded as he gave James a bite of egg yolk. The children were now six months old and they had started them on solid foods. Egg yolks being the first one they had tried.

"I can't, Desai. I look at you and remember what I did to you." He shook his head. "And I honestly don't know how you can be so goddamn blasé about it!" he gritted out between his teeth in anger.

"Thomas, look at me, please." She gazed into his pained blue eyes. "If I thought for one second that you did what you did on purpose – your ass would be in jail. Because believe me no matter how much I love you – I will not go through another abusive relationship." Her voice became hard and edgy as she uttered, "It happened. It's over. You didn't realize what you were doing," she said seriously then asked, "Have you read anything about concussions?"

"I've had them before ..."

"But this one was different wasn't it?"

"Yeah. My ears have been ringing off and on and I've had mild headaches."

She nodded and added, "I can tell you from first-hand experience the signs and symptoms of a concussion can oftentimes be subtle and may not show up immediately. Symptoms can last for days, weeks, or even longer. Sometimes they never go away."

His eyes widened at that as she nodded. "You said yourself it was like a night terror. Leave it at that because if you don't ... you and I will end up divorced!"

He looked at her in shocked realization that what she said was the truth. He had deliberately been ignoring her making excuses about researching his part and studying his lines, but for the most part, it was so that he didn't have to see her face when she looked at him. She had forgiven him wholly without exception and he didn't – couldn't understand it.

He scrunched his face in confusion. "Why – how – I don't understand, Desai. I look at you and I see a woman who loves me without restrictions or conditions – a woman who has forgiven me without any exceptions or conditions. I look at myself and I see a man who raped his wife. I remember it."

"Do you? Or do you see the images of me after? I know Luke told you what he heard, but that is not the same as actually remembering it."

"No, Desai. I remember what I did to you. I don't remember punching the guy with the camera, but I remember what I did to you." As James made a noise and moved his arms in agitation Thomas gave him another bite. "I can still hear you telling me, _'Tom, please don't. No, stop.' 'It hurts. Stop.'_ Because I had screamed in your face and told you not to call me Thomas." He looked away and then back as he gave James another bite of egg. "My love for you hasn't changed except maybe to grow stronger. I've lost a part of me and I don't know how to get it back."

"Thomas," she soothed as she caressed the side of his face, "then talk to someone who can help you. See a therapist and do it soon." She leaned over to give him a kiss and he flinched away. Sadness overtook her expression as she looked at him. "Do you want me to stay here while you're in Montana? Would that help?"

He looked at her as he said honestly, "I don't know. I – every time I look at you it hurts. My heart aches because of what I believe you should have done. What I did. What I did to the woman I promised to love and cherish." Tears began to stream down his face. "I am a forgiving person, a person who does his best to show kindness and understanding to everyone I meet, and yet," he looked up at her, "here I sit and I cannot forgive myself. I see the bruises, the cut lip, the black eye, and the bruises on your neck, not to mention the internal damage." He asked quietly, "Why are you so different from every other woman on the planet? Why didn't you call the police?"

"Calling the police would have solved nothing, ruined your life and probably your career." She shook her head almost violently. "I wasn't about to do that. And I told you why. You have got to forgive yourself, Thomas. The sooner the better, get some help, but do it soon because the way you are acting toward me makes me feel ..." she stopped before she said something she couldn't take back.

"Feel what?" he asked as he looked up at her as she took James from his arms.

She looked at him and said with pure honesty, "Like you can't stand the sight of me. Please believe me when I say I love you and I need you in my life. I can't make you believe it. You have to believe it yourself. Because me telling you isn't enough. I wish I had hung up the damn phone so Luke couldn't have heard anything, made an excuse to take the kids and go somewhere so that you wouldn't have seen me until the bruises were gone and you were past the concussion. I don't know what I should have done but anything I think would've been better than this."

He watched her as she walked and burped James cooing to the baby as she placed him in the large playpen and picked up Sophia. "There's my little one," she said as she kissed her head and sat to feed her.

Sophia did not like eggs, they had found that out with the first bite. She had made a Godawful face and spit it right out and onto the floor. She loved porridge as long as it had breastmilk in it. Which is what she was eating now.

"I love you, Desai," Thomas said softly as he touched her face. "I need you with me. I want you to go to Montana with me. I just ..."

"Need to talk to someone who can help you start to forgive yourself, my love."

He only nodded then smiled as Sophia giggled loudly as she reached for him. "Charmer," Desai said as she passed their daughter to him watching as he finished feeding her.

***

The trip to Montana went more smoothly than the trip from London. Sophia still whimpered, even with her headset on, but settled as soon as Thomas began cuddling her. They had both decided that Sophia for whatever reason did not like flying.

Desai frowned knowing there would be no hot bathroom sex on this flight. She was lucky now if she received a kiss from the man she loved. If they were out, he made a great show of holding hands or snuggling up, but if they were alone she was shit out of luck unless they were sleeping. In his sleep, Thomas always found her and cuddled her close. It was the only way she could get any restful sleep.

The drive from the tarmac to the lodge was about three miles and Thomas gawked at the expanse and size of the place. She had told the pilot to swing over and see if he could spot any of the herds that roamed the meadows and foothills. Sure enough, he had and told them over the intercom. She had smiled at Thomas's smile a natural one, one without any stress or put on for someone else's sake.

"Think you could get used to vacationing here?" she asked him as she touched his shoulder, surprising her he kissed her hand and nodded, "Yes. It's beautiful, Desai, but not as beautiful as you."

She smiled at him knowing that his healing was beginning. She didn't know who he had spoken with or if he had, but he was coming back to her. Ever so slowly.

Yes, it would take time, she knew that. The rape had been more traumatic for him than for her and she knew why, he was not that kind of man.

Yes, he loved to have his controlling moments, he needed them, they were a part of his genetic makeup, like father-like son (or so Diana had told her). But he would never force himself onto a woman, he had no need to, he could have almost any woman he wanted, she even knew a few lesbians who would forego their lifestyle for at least one night with him. She smiled knowing Dana was one of those women. At that thought, she made a mental note to call her and invite her and Misty up for a week or two.

However, she knew he was hers and she his, she would never take another lover into her life. He was it, her one and only and she believed he felt the same toward her. He just had to get over the pain, guilt, and hurt and forgive himself.

Sometimes forgiving yourself was a hell of a lot harder than forgiving someone else. He was learning that lesson and it was a hard lesson to learn no matter how many times it had to be taught.

Filming was scheduled to go on for two months, from late March to almost June, during which time the children had started baby babbling and Thomas was ecstatic. Of course, he believed that since their first so-called word was 'da-da' they meant him. Desai shook her head, most baby's first word was 'da' or 'da-da' and could mean anything from food, toy, dog, or yes even da-da. Or mama for that matter.

"Did you hear that?!" he exclaimed as Sophia just babbled on and on to him and he rubbed noses with her which made her giggle. Desai nodded as she took another picture just as she had with each of the children. There was no doubt that Thomas loved them. 

He loved her. 

He was just afraid he was going to hurt her.

"Do you think you would like to go horseback riding with me tomorrow?"

"What about the little ones?" he asked as he grimaced when Sophia grabbed a handful of his hair and tugged sharply. And kept tugging as she laughed at her father's pained expression.

"She's got a grip like a vice. Which is why I don't wear dangling earrings now. Those things hurt when they get pulled. Word of warning ... don't let those tiny fingers fool you and do not for any reason allow her to grab your nose. They fit perfectly into the nostril and hurt like Hell." That little girl had a grip like a snapping turtle – once it was onto something it didn't let go! "Well I asked Luke to watch them for us, but if you don't want to we can stay in."

"No, I think some time alone together would be great." He smiled at her as he said, "I'm looking forward to it."

"Good. Then I'll go have Miss Rosie fix us a nice meal to carry with us."

He nodded and gave her another smile as he walked with Sophia toward the large playpen that was set up in their suite. She babbled for a moment then rolled over and was asleep. Just then his phone rang, it was Desai, "Hey, darling. Anything for tomorrow will be fine –" He was cut off when Desai asked in a wounded tone, "Did you know?"

He stopped midstride, "About what, love?"

"About Ms. Fuckbutter!" she hissed. "She's here! Just walked in like she owns the goddamn place!"

That son of a bitch! That fucking bastard! He had been told that the director had a surprise for him well it sure as hell was a surprise! "No, I didn't know anything about it, my love."

"Good, because if you had and hadn't told me I was gonna rip you a new one Hiddles!" she hung up abruptly. He smiled, the thought of that happening was a vision but then again ...

He opened the door of the suite in time to hear Desai say, "He's with the children but we don't want just anybody around them. And we just got them to sleep."

"I know you're not talking about me," Fuckbutter said haughtily.

"Yes. Yes, I am. And do you have a part in this movie?" Desai asked as she spotted the director and motioned him over. "Does this woman have a part in the movie?" She refused to call her by name, yes it was childish of her but she'd be damned if she acknowledged the skinny slut on a first name basis.

The director stood there looking like a fish out of water. "Well no. She and I talked recently and we thought it would be a great surprise for Tom."

"It was," Desai deadpanned. "So you won't mind if she stays in your suite with you? Right?" Desai looked from one to the other and said, "With all the cast and crew, there's just not any open rooms. So since you invited her she can stay in your room." Before she turned away from their shocked expressions she told the bellhop, "Take her belongings up to this gentleman's suite, please."

"Just who do you think you are?" Fuckbutter asked condescendingly as she raised a perfectly plucked brow.

Desai whirled on her, her hair flying around her like wings as she faced the interloper and said, " _I_ am Desai Olivia _Hiddleston_ , the _owner_ of this establishment, any further questions? And it looks as if a new addendum will need to be added to the regulations stating that 'Once a guest has checked in any guests that said prior guest has invited without prior knowledge will either be sent packing or will need prior authorization'." She said the last to the director who flushed red.

"You're just a jealous bitch!" Fuckbutter shouted with vehemence.

"You could have been something had you tried," Desai came back evenly with a breathtaking smile. "You were rude to me before in my own home nonetheless, but let me assure you... I will **_NEVER_** make that mistake again. Now, unless you want to be thrown out permanently. I suggest you close your pie-hole or should I call it what it really is," she said as she raised a brow and mouthed **_'dick licker'_** , "and follow the man who invited you here." She nodded and turned to go when Fuckbutter made a horrible mistake—she reached out and yanked hard on Desai's hair believing it was a wig.

"Oh shit!" Thomas said out loud as he looked from the door of their suite to the area below. He started to move but he was too late to do anything but watch in humorous amazement as his wife ... whirled and knocked the tall blonde onto her ass and was on her and the woman didn't know what had hit her or was hitting her. Desai straddled her and was giving her a going over and when the director grabbed Desai's arm she came back and kicked him in his nuts and he fell over grabbing his crotch. Desai stood up and grabbed the blonde by the hair of the head and pulled when she did the wig came off in her hand.

She didn't know whether to laugh, cry or feel sorry for her. What hair she had left was a thin light brown stubble that was coming in in patches. "What the Hell happened to your hair?" Desai questioned as she stared at the woman.

"It all fell out after a reaction to a chemical the last time I had it dyed," Fuckbutter wailed.

Desai threw the wig at her, "Here before some poor half-blind porcupine thinks it's found a mate."

Thomas busted out laughing with that damned 'ehehehehe' of his that turned into a guffaw the likes of which she had not heard in a while.

Desai squatted down beside the other woman and whispered so only she could hear, "The next time I see you within fifty miles of my husband no one will ever know where to look for you. There are many places that a body can be placed ... and then eaten by wild animals. Don't fuck with me, my husband, or my children. I will ruin you. Do you understand me, woman?"

Fuckbutter nodded believing that at that moment Desai was serious.

"Say it. Tell me you understand me because I mean it. You had your chance with Thomas and you ruined it. That's not going to happen again. Now, as I see it you have two options. One: you can stay the night with your friend and more than likely fuckbuddy, or ... as I would prefer, Two: you can trot your ass out there and ask to go back where you came from."

Fuckbutter gulped. "My ..."

"Your belongings will be collected for you as soon as you tell me what you have decided on doing."

Fuckbutter's eyes glanced upward as did Desai's briefly only to see Thomas leaning casually on the log railing. "Get my luggage," she said as she got up.

Desai called to the bellhop, "I'm sorry to bother you again but ummm, this ... well she's decided not to stay. Could you retrieve her luggage please?"

"Yes, ma'am," he said with a smile as he ran off.

***

Later that evening as Desai was finishing up feeding and bathing the babies, she heard Thomas laughing. She walked in to see him watching the security footage of her beating the living shit out of Fuckbutter. "Thomas," she said and nearly laughed herself when he sat straight up stock still.

His face was beet red from laughing as he asked seriously, "What if she sues you?"

Desai looked at him innocently. "For what? She was an uninvited guest and as a new mother I took it that she was threatening my children." She shrugged, "I did what any woman would have done in my place and put her in hers." She grinned, "Besides she should be used to being on her back."

He laughed so hard and loud that he woke up all the babies.

It took them over an hour to get them all quieted and back to sleep. Desai muttered, "They can sleep through me screaming your name like a dying hyena but you laugh and they all wake up." She shook her head. "I don't get it."

She gave him a withering look as he started snickering again at the images on the screen. Then he looked over his shoulder at her as he stood and walked over to where she was standing. "Should we test that theory?" he asked as he pulled her close and kissed her like it was the first time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anytime rape is involved it is hard to deal with -- effects can and often do last a lifetime. Head injuries can cause many problems not just at the onset but often times many years later. I have no control over what happens -- my muses guide me in what to write and often they go on for hours at a time.


	31. Chapter Thirty-one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Desai takes matters into her own hands to get Thomas over his guilty feelings. Fun and sex ensue.

*****As always credits to the artists/owners of the pics*****

As they stood looking into each other's eyes Thomas captured her face between his large hands, and her lips with his tongue demanding entrance, he felt more than heard her moan of desire as she opened her mouth to his invasion. There could be no other term for it. He didn't care about anything but the taste of her. The feel of her. The want of her. And the need of her. It was a deep kiss that had their tongues mating in a ritual as old as time itself.

Their bodies, even though it had been months since they had kissed, knew each other. There was no awkwardness or clumsiness only the soft slide of lips and tongues against each other. Thomas's fingers gently caressed Desai's soft hair at the sweet promise of realization, **_Yes, this is what I want. And it's easy and perfect_** , and when Thomas opened his mouth to Desai, cupping her face in his palms, it felt like a weight had been lifted from him.

He felt no more pain. Only love. Only love, want, and need.

The Earth began to spin faster for Desai as she broke the kiss breathlessly resting her forehead against Thomas's, her eyes closed, and her heartbeat thrumming in her ears. She clung to him desperate for more contact as heat spread throughout her body. "I love you," she whispered raggedly.

Thomas picked her up and carried her to the sofa tenderly laying her down. "I love you, Desai Olivia Hiddleston, my one and only."

Desai smiled and kissed him hard she wanted to let him know she needed him, it was a passionate kiss. A dirty passionate kiss, their tongues were running everywhere inside of their mouths, touching and suddenly escaping.

"I don't think I've ever wanted you as much as I want you right now," Thomas muttered as he bit her neck slowly before snaking his tongue around the bite to soothe.

"Thomas, I'm yours."

Thomas's eyes were shining like never before. He kissed her thoroughly as his hands roamed freely over his wife's wonderful body. He tugged her shirt upward and she helped him to remove the red jumper, her bra was next, he was gentle with it knowing that her breasts were tender from the babes and the breast pumps.

She moaned, "Your beard is so soft. I wish you didn't have to shave it off for Loki. I love how it feels against my skin."

He rubbed against her breasts like a cat at first then began to gently nibble, lick and suck the nipples, unaware he was leaving small love bites everywhere he had sucked. His lips moved in a downward motion until they reached her jeans as he looked up she arched, he sat on his knees as he tugged them down and over her hips taking her panties with them.

He looked at her lying there looking at him and suddenly his hands started shaking and he began to cry.

"Thomas?" she asked in a whisper.

"I can't. I'm sorry. I thought ... I'm afraid I'll hurt you," he said lowly as his once hard cock softened.

She raised up with her legs around his jean-clad thighs and pulled him into an embrace. "I won't say it's okay, because it's not, and I don't mean for me. Thomas, earendel, you have got to talk to someone, a professional who can help you. Someone who deals with the guilt and fear you are feeling," she said. "I know in my heart you won't hurt me, but you don't and can't believe that you won't, at least not right now. When you look at me you see me bruised and bleeding, don't you?"

He nodded as more tears ran down his face. "I love you, Desai. I'm sorry. God help me I can't get it out of my head!"

She hugged him tightly. "I'm here, my love. I'll always be here. I'm not going anywhere. We'll get through this. I promise you, we will get through this." She held him until he pulled away saying, "I'm ... I think I'll go talk to the guys for a while." She nodded and let him go. What else could she do?

While he was gone she called her best friend Dana catching up on everything that had transpired since the last time she had seen her (a little over four months ago).

"What's wrong?" Dana asked.

"Everything," Desai said as she suddenly found herself letting go of all the pent-up frustration about what had happened.

"How's Tom?" Dana asked quietly.

"Dana, he can barely look at me. His mind won't let him release the fear or guilt. I know he's trying. What can I do?"

"You do realize that both of you are victims of this rape don't you?"

"I hadn't thought about it that way. Dana, would – could you and Misty come up for a week or so, even longer if you want."

"You bet we can!"

"I'll have a car come and get you! Get packing and ready to fly!" Desai spent the next hour making the arrangements for Dana and Misty and was so happy she almost forgot about her troubles. Almost.

Tom came to bed that night drunk, she could smell the Scotch and she didn't dare say anything to him about it. So she lay as if she were asleep and as he began snoring he turned to her and gathered her in his arms pulling her tight against him, murmuring, "I love you, my darlingest girl," as he kissed her neck and hair.

***

The next evening was much the same. He was drinking to try and forget his guilt. The thing was alcohol never solved any problems it only made things worse. She had not seen much of him and knew that the filming was going on trying to beat the bad weather that had been predicted. It was April and was not unusual for a late spring snowstorm to happen. This one was supposed to be bad. She had called and left a message for Dana about the bad weather just to let her decide if they still wanted to come and if so to pack for winter.

Thomas was staggering when he came in and she knew he had been drinking, she also knew that drinking was not the way to solve the problem that was becoming larger every day. She called out to him from the children's playpen, "Thomas, I spoke with Dana. She and Misty are coming up for a week or so. Maybe. I called back and left a message about the weather."

Surprisingly he scooted over to sit next to her on the sofa when she sat down. "Really?" he slurred a bit. "She's a great girl. Glad to hear she's found, someone."

"You don't smell like Scotch, love, what have you been drinking?"

"I'm not drunk, darling," he said evenly as his eyes roamed over her body. "Damn, but you're beautiful."

She smiled at him knowing he was more than a little drunk but she'd never tell him so. "I know you're not drunk. But you usually drink Scotch and that's not what I smell." She sniffed his breath, "It smells sweeter with a hint of ... honey ... Mead. You've been drinking Mead. That stuff sneaks up on people like Sloe-Gin."

"Yeah, Loki's Mead to be exact," he said with a smile as he leaned closer, "Thought it fit."

"Well, you are the only Loki there ever will be. Was it good?" she asked as she gazed into his slightly drunken glazed eyes.

"It was ... but not as good as you," he said as he pulled her into his lap and kissed her deeply.

Thoughts ran through her head: _Would he remember this tomorrow? Would he get half-way and stop? Would he sober up and think he'd hurt her?_ No matter ...Drunk or not, she would take him. An idea came to her, a rather naughty idea as she continued to allow him to kiss her.

"I need you, Desai," he whimpered against her neck just before he began tugging up on her jumper.

"I need you too, Thomas. Please, please, don't stop what you're doing," she pleaded.

Suddenly shirts were being thrown and by the time they got to the bedroom they were naked. Moans and sighs were the only noises as they fell on the bed, Desai wrapped her fingers around his erection and began to stroke him but stopped when she heard snores.

"Damn, you! Damn, you, Hiddleston!" She cried in frustration as she slapped his hip. "OOOOhhhh, you fucker!" she said angrily as she got off the bed as she passed her dresser she stopped and tapped her chin. Opening the drawer she withdrew some scarves.

She rarely got upset with him but she was genuinely cross as she raised an eyebrow at her handiwork. Pillows underneath his back raising his ass a bit in the air legs lifted high and spread wide like he was about to give birth, his hands tied above his head and a green silk scarf encircled his head blocking his sight.

This was twice that he had her so fucking hot that she thought she would spontaneously combust and then ... nothing! Well, she'd had enough!

She walked back out to the living area to gather up and put on her clothes. Making sure the children were taken care of and placed into their large crib in the living area where she could hear them should they need her.

She then took a leisurely bath using her favorite scented bath oil and perfume, she wanted his senses to be heightened while she did her worst. Well, almost. She would never hurt him.

Not a lot anyway.

She wanted to make love to her husband and by God, she was going to. She just had to do a few things first. He wasn't the only one who could tie a knot and get naughty.

Now then ... where was her paddle?

She sat on the chaise lounge listening to _The National, This Will Destroy You_ , and _Bon Iver_ , along with some _Bach_ and _Chopin_ watching him as he slept off the effects of the Loki's Mead he had imbibed in and to make sure he didn't vomit.

_Too damn bad if he had a hangover!_

She listened intently as Harry babbled a bit then quietened back down, the music was low so that she could hear it but so that she could also hear her children.

Tom came awake with a small groan and tried to open his eyes and found that he had been blindfolded and blindfolded very well. He couldn't make out if it was light or dark or where he was at that point realizing his hands were tied as were his feet. Tentatively he called out, "Desai?"

She smiled but did not answer him, using a deeper voice (he wasn't the only one who could do characters) she asked, "What is it?"

His head turned in her direction, "I know that's you. Untie me," he ordered.

She laughed. "Not happening," she snapped from the foot of the bed as she gave his ass a smack with her paddle.

She laughed again as he yelped. "Oh, you really fucked up this time. Tommy." Leaning in closer she licked up the inside of his thigh smiling as the hairs on his thighs and legs stood up and that wasn't the only thing that was beginning to stand up. "Ahh, you like that, don't you?"

She didn't sound like Desai so who the fuck was she? "Who are you and where's my wife?! I want my wife!" he boomed as he pulled and tugged at his bindings.

She quickly got up and moved to close the door, she would still be able to hear the children but she didn't want their father's wailing to disturb them.

"She's not here. She left." It was a fib but she was in her Dom mode right now, so in essence Desai was gone.

Thomas began to panic. "Where – why? Untie me!"

"You need to calm the fuck down!" she said as she smacked him hard on his ass.

She watched as his cock twitched a little. She rubbed the reddened area, "Be a good boy and behave, Tommy." Just for fun she licked up the other inner thigh watching as the hairs stood up and his cock twitched again. "We've already determined that you like to be spanked. Whether or not you'll readily admit it. It's evident," she said as she whacked him again across both cheeks.

"Goddamn you!" he howled and twisted trying to get free. "Goddamnit! Untie me!"

"No." She dragged her finger down the middle of his chest and to his treasure trail then down into his pubic hair smiling as his cock twitched again. "Oh, you like that too, don't you?"

"It's a fucking physical reaction. You cannot do this to me! Woman, untie me!" he cried trying once again to get free.

She nearly laughed at his expression when she said, "Who said I was a woman?"

"Whoever you are I demand you untie me!"

"Oh, you are in no position to be demanding anything, Tommy," she murmured from beside his head as she turned on the vibrator. He was stock still as she added, "A bit of prostate massaging with this should help you relieve some of that built up pressure and make you feel like a brand new man." She cooed, "Now wouldn't you like that? Hmmm?"

He remained silent until he felt the tip of the vibrator touch his anus. He wiggled trying to stop the invasion of his most private spot, but it did no good as he realized this is how Desai must have felt.

"Please, don't. Please, stop," he cried. He listened as something was opened and felt something being spread around on his anus. Involuntarily he tightened up.

"You need to relax. This won't hurt. You'll enjoy it."

Desai slowly ran the small and short vibrator around and around his anus in circles slowly making them smaller until finally she made a small push and the tip entered his ass. She heard the slight moan and smiled as he moaned louder as she pushed it in further. His cock came to life all the veins bulging seemingly pulsating in time with the vibrator. Positioning herself between his legs she took him in her mouth licking the precum from the tip as she eased the foreskin back.

Thomas moaned, he couldn't help it. It had been months since he had had sex and he needed this release even though he didn't want it. He couldn't even give himself a wank because of what he had done to Desai. Every time he looked at her all he saw was bruises, bleeding lips, and blood running down between her legs. "Please, stop! I want my wife! Don't do this!"

"Oh, Tommy, but you need this. Desai will forgive you. She always does." She blew over the head of his cock as she applied some of the flavored lube. "Tell me, what is it you want? What is it you desire?" she asked seductively as she licked the length of him then moved down to his perineum to lick.

"I need my wife! I want my wife!"

"Other than that and you can't have that right now. Be a bit more specific, Tommy Boy."

"I need to cum, but I want my wife!"

"Why didn't you when Desai was here?" she asked as she trailed a fingertip across his lips.

"I – I – hurt her."

"Ooohhh, this is interesting. Tell me more," she said as she bounced on the bed.

"I had an accident – I hit my head."

"Ahh, the concussion she told me about. She said you have not been the same after it happened."

"What else did she say?" he needed his wife, wanted her, damnit he couldn't get her face out of his mind! What he had done to her!

"Nothing, except she was worried about you. And that she would never love another." She laughed, "Oh, Tommy!" as she dragged a finger across his perineum and upward to his balls. "You and I are going to have such a good time. But ... if you cum before me ... I'll spank your ass until you literally can't sit down. And I know you have to be in the saddle tomorrow it would be such a shame for that tight round ass to be sore and bruised."

He flinched when she put a rubber on him and she could see that he really thought that it was someone else. "Who are you?" he asked lowly.

"Does that really matter now?" she asked sharply. "I've seen everything God gave you and touched you in places I'm willing to bet Desai never has. Why is that?"

"Fuck you! Stop! I want Desai! Desai! Desai!"

She stuffed a pair of her underwear in his mouth, "Would you please stop all the damn caterwauling?!" She was careful when she leaned over his chest nibbling his right nipple as she tweaked the other one smiling as he moaned. "Are you going to be a good boy?"

He shook his head vehemently as sounds came through the gag. She almost cackled, "Well, good or bad I hope you listened and remembered what I said." She rubbed his ass then drew back and gave him a hard swat with her paddle. She rubbed where she had hit him then reached down and turned up the vibrator a notch. Smiling as he bucked up and moaned. "I knew you would like that. It massages the prostate. I would have done it manually but my fingers aren't that long."

Thomas was moaning as his cock did a dance bouncing around. She knew he was doing his best not to cum but it really didn't matter. When she licked his balls he stopped moving and let go with a pained moan. Then she did something she had not planned on doing. Reaching out she removed the condom watching as he violently shook his head and she could tell he was screaming no as she settled herself across his abdomen. "I've decided to fuck you this way. I want you to know that this isn't because of what you did to Desai, but what you didn't do."

Placing her hands on the mattress and with her knees she raised herself up and onto Thomas's cock as he screamed into the gag. "Oh, doesn't that feel so good?" she purred as she began to ride him taking her time so that he would feel her clutch at him with her inner muscles. She watched the muscles in his face tense as did his arms and he was doing his damnedest not to cum. "Don't fight it, Tommy," she said with a chuckle as she gave her hips a slow roll and then back as she gyrated and moved up and down his whimpering and tears made her slow and ask, "Tommy? Did I hurt you?"

He shook his head trying to spit out the gag. "I'll take that out of your mouth if you promise not to scream. Okay?" When he nodded she removed it.

"Desai, you should have left the rubber on. I know it's you. I know how you feel and I know why you did this. Turn me loose. Please. I'll keep the blindfold on, but damn woman I have got to touch you."

She leaned forward and released his hands and they went to her hips, "Oh God, I love you. Desai, you feel so fucking good! Fuckfuckfuck, fuuuuuuccccccckkkkk," he groaned as he guided her up and down as he kissed her. She reached out and removed the blindfold just mere seconds before she came. From his expression he wasn't too far behind her and she was going to make sure he did.

"I love you too, baby."

Reaching behind her she twirled the knob on the vibrator all the way up smiling as he moaned loudly and bucked up into her as he went off like a roman candle. His teeth were bared, his breaths were hisses as she continued to gyrate her hips, riding him harder than a jockey in the Run for the Roses. His face spurred her on and she didn't stop until she knew they were both satisfied. She leaned back as far as she could and released the ties on his ankles.

They gazed at each other breathless, his hands still on her hips as aftershocks shook them both. She removed the vibrator and tossed it on the floor almost laughing as it flopped around. "Don't ever shut yourself out and off from me again," she said as she leaned down onto his chest. "I was so scared that I was going to lose you, Thomas."

He nodded as he caressed her head and kissed her tenderly. "I know, darling, but you do know what this means don't you?" She met his eyes as he said, "You've been a naughty girl, granted it was for good reason, but naughty nonetheless and I will have to punish you."

Just then they heard the children. "It'll have to wait," Desai said with a smile as she got up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was fun and easy more naughtiness is to come.


End file.
